/feels/ - Advice & Venting

>>106107
yeah, sometimes i wonder if i'm being selfish because it seems as though i want to be friends with another me. my way of self is obviously going to be unique to me, and maybe i'm wrong for looking for a mirrored version… but i wonder if this is just the consequence of niche interests that may have changed my development.. who knows. i just don't feel as though i have a tribe no matter how similar someone may be to me.

I don't know if this is any similar to your experience but I feel weird when I hand around happy and successful people and sometimes even extremely envious because I'm a failure with lot of problems, so I hang around depressing online communities and imageboards. I still do. Once, I found a group of e-friends who were as traumatized as me and felt like I belonged there but after some time their mental issues and mine imploded and everyone ended up triggering each other. It's okay to have problems now and then but problems became an everyday thing, and nobody were abke to get out of the crab bucket. One day I just couldn't take it anymore and just left. Now it's just sheer loneliness and I feel like I don't belong anywhere.

You will not progress in life if you lock yourself up in a bubble of people with the same issues. Look at the internet. Is there any group like that that is not insane or on a clear path to becoming insane?
You must fight the crab mentality. Your impulsive desire for immediate comfort is what keeps you down.
Yes, it will hurt to interact with them at first. Yes, you may spend fun evenings with them and then cry yourself to sleep out of jealousy. But it won't last forever. Your brain will adapt. Their positive qualities will start rubbing onto you and, chances are a group like this will absolutely be willing to help you, once they know you better.

Although this rule obviously doesn't apply to people who are outright abusive, be it to you, or others.
You should never endure liars, narcissists sociopaths, cheaters, and so on.

>>106110
>Look at the internet. Is there any group like that that is not insane or on a clear path to becoming insane?
I don't know how long or how hard I've been looking for, but I honestly can't find a single community online that I could hang around and would help me grow better as a person. There's only silence, despair, negativity [and porn] eventually with positivity sprinkled over the top just so that it's not too nauseous to use. The positivity often looks forced and artificial, with things like "you are worth it".
I wish something like that actually existed because I have no real friends.
I wonder if "healthy" people even need something like internet when they would already be having a proper support network going on in their lives like meaningful friendships or healthy hobbies to unwind already.

>>106115
Goal oriented communities are ok ime. People there are busy working on their hobby and waste less time on drama. But there is drama, always. Just bypass/ignore it.
Besides, that's the only solution to change your station in life: do something. Being around the right kind of people is just helping you do something; it's not the be-all and end-all of self-improvement.