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/feels/ - Advice & Venting

Talk about relationships of all kinds, ask for advice, or just vent
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a93f0d504f17b77c2d…

Anonymous 106139

i think im actually just so fucking retarded. i hate the way i behave like everything i do is so offputting and wrong. i've always thought i'm not autistic or anything because i dont really have symptoms outside of being incredibly socially awkward. but it's to the point where every person i've met has thought i was autistic or otherwise disabled, boys aren't interested in me, i have no social awareness. i thought it was cause i dropped out of school as a kid and was never properly socialized, but i've just been so odd my whole life. and i'm coming to the realization that this is just an unchangeable fact of life, i'll never have friends who respect me, i'll never have a boyfriend who doesn't somehow fetishize me. even if i'm not autistic i'm definitely somehow fucked up permanently and theres no way out. i'm gonna kill myself

Anonymous 106140

mentalexpoftime.pn…

>and i'm coming to the realization that this is just an unchangeable fact of life,
My guess is you're under 30 and you don't realize that it just takes way more time than you think. Keep trying, it'll get easier. The alternative is not trying, and it getting worse. So really, you have no choice. Swallow that one and keep on.

Anonymous 106142

>>106140
i've been in stagnation mentally and personality wise since i was 10. i'm not waiting until i'm over 30 to finally accept that i'm completely hopeless. there's nothing i live for other than desperation for human connection and without that there's no point in trying. ican't just keep going to school & work and trying my best because no matter how many people i talk to or how much i smile or how hard i try academically i feel the same, and i get the same reactions.

Anonymous 106143

>>106142
By 30 (hopefully, much earlier) you will have had enough experience that you'll stop feeling like that.
>i feel the same, and i get the same reactions.
Then try somewhere/something else. Volunteer, sports, get a job, move, whatever. Maybe look better at things, differently. Meditate, draw.
It looks unbelievable but absolutely everyone goes through this. Some people get out of it quickly, some need more time.
You're getting overwhelmed by feelings because you're stuck inside yourself. So go outside.
I get the need to vent, but this is the teenage equivalent of a toddler tantrum. Yes, these feelings are unpleasant; yes they feel like they won't go away, but they will, like all feelings. You just have to believe it and go on.

Anonymous 106145

>>106143
i have a job, i work out, i do what i can to be out of my head or having new experiences as much as possible- it's just when i look at my own behavior and who i am as a person throughout my life i feel so disgusting and ashamed because no real people behave the way i do. like im so fucking weird and people constantly tell me this,, literal strangers, normal people too. this feeling has never left me and constantly weighs down on me.

Anonymous 106146

>>106140
I'm above 30 and I feel my emotional maturity is that of a teenager, maybe 16. A few years ago I felt like I was 13. It doesn't get better without hard work.
I feel this way because I experience a lot of nightmares featuring my highschool.
>>106145
>i have a job, i work out
You're doing better than me, girl.
Just try to focus on one behavioral problem at a time. Dropping out of school can seriously affect you because childhood and formative years are very important, but you can learn ways to manage your problems, basically patch work.

Anonymous 106150

>>106146
how do you cope with being emotionally immature? how do you work on it?
>just try to focus on one behavioral problem at a time
i try but it feels like whenever im in a social situation my brain shuts off and i forget everything i'm supposed to do

Anonymous 106151

10-Signs-of-Toxic-…

>>106146
>>106150
This desperate search for maturity is a sign of immaturity.
Just be. Accept when you fuck up. You're ridiculous for 5 minutes. So what? What does it hurt in you? What is that idea of yourself you're trying to protect from reality?
If you can't see that (and I mean: if what I've written this looks like gibberish to you), then work on toxic shame (lots of self-help books on the matter).

Anonymous 106152

>>106151
being ridiculous for 5min is fine, it sucks that i can't form friendships w/ peers or even seem normal enough to my coworkers that they don't instantly clock me as weird & avoid me
toxic shame thing looks interesting- thanks

Anonymous 106154

episode-image-400x…

>>106150
>my brain shuts off and i forget everything i'm supposed to do
Yeah, that. Happens every time.
I don't know. I think I also dissociate every time I go out and I usually just hide beside my parents or other people who do the talking.
I try to get better by doing little things, like cleaning my room, going shopping alone, journaling and other things so that I can feel like an independent adult who can make decisions on my own. Sigh…
I recently tried to go shopping by myself after a long time and I felt so absent and scared. I later tried to go a week later, but this time I was a bit more confident about myself and I was able to do it. Something like that.
>>106151
10/10, I win!
It's difficult but I'm trying, I think.

Anonymous 106155

>>106152
Maybe you haven't found your people yet. Sometimes you just aren't at the right place.
>>106154
Please do persevere. It is just a matter of time and effort, but it has an end, be sure of it.

Anonymous 106156

>>106155
Thank you, nona. :)


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