/feels/ - should I give a new relationship a try?

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should I give a new relationship a try? Anonymous 11/27/23 (Mon) 03:49:12 AM106183

I recently met a girl off a dating app, and things are going surprisingly well. things could get serious

the problem is that I’m terminally in love with/obsessed with/limerent for my ex gf who I dated years ago but am still friends with. I broke up with her due to my own mental illness and her parents finding out about our relationship. sometimes I feel like my ex still has feelings for me too, but that could just be delusion. she has a bf now and her family did not accept her being gay. I’m torn on whether I should try to move on or not

I like the new girl, but my feelings aren’t quite there yet. I’ve known my ex for most of my life, so we have a deep connection. it’s unfair to compare, but I can’t help it

I want love, so badly. and I’m afraid if I wait around for my ex, it may never come. but if I get serious with the new girl, what if I miss my chance to get my ex back? if I do commit to the new girl, I’ll commit fr and distance myself from my ex. I’m not a cheater

Anonymous 11/27/23 (Mon) 03:55:11 AM106184

alice-in-wonderlan…

>I broke up with her due to my own mental illness and her parents finding out about our relationship.
>she has a bf now and her family did not accept her being gay.
>I want love, so badly. and I’m afraid if I wait around for my ex, it may never come.
>I’m not a cheater
It is okay to be in love with your exes and remember them fondly, even if they moved on.
You think you can just forget someone who you were intimate with for a significant period of time?

>I recently met a girl off a dating app, and things are going surprisingly well. things could get serious
>what if I miss my chance to get my ex back?
What if you won't get your ex back?
If you chase two rabbits at the same time, they'll both escape.

Anonymous 11/27/23 (Mon) 04:03:24 AM106185

>>106184
yes that’s true. I keep hoping that my ex will end things with her bf but who knows. I’m probably wasting my time hoping, but it’s so hard to move on, especially when she’s still in my life

I’m also worried that if I date the new girl, my mental illness will get worse again, her family won’t accept it, and the same thing will just happen all over again. I think I hide it pretty well, but in past relationships I become a little too fixated on the person I’m dating, spiral, and have frequent panic attacks in private. maybe love is not meant for me

Anonymous 11/27/23 (Mon) 04:12:51 AM106186

>>106185
>it’s so hard to move on, especially when she’s still in my life
Yes, it definitely is.
I think that it's better to go completely no-contact with someone like that, but things aren't really that easy sometimes.
>I date the new girl, my mental illness will get worse again, her family won’t accept it, and the same thing will just happen all over again.
Do you think it's not a good idea to talk to her about these questions that you're worried about?
>I think I hide it pretty well
Why though?
You want a serious relationship right?
If they are interested in you, and I'm sure they are, they'll be understanding. If they feel uncomfortable about your problems and didn't feel good about it, then they're not a good person to be serious about in the first place.
>I become a little too fixated on the person I’m dating, spiral, and have frequent panic attacks in private.
Don't worry, nona. These issues are quite common and there are lot of articles and books out there that can help you to establish healthy boundaries and deal with difficult attachment patterns.

Anonymous 11/27/23 (Mon) 04:29:06 AM106189

>>106186
you’re so kind nona. thank you, you’ve given me hope

Anonymous 11/27/23 (Mon) 05:34:32 AM106190

>>106189
You're kind too, nona. You seem like someone who cares a lot about others and you make sure to not hurt them.
Take care.