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/feels/ - Advice & Venting

Talk about relationships of all kinds, ask for advice, or just vent

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Anonymous 107009

Really need some tips to give up on addictions, namely self-harm, porn and binge eating without seeking anyone's help.

Anonymous 107025

>without seeking anyone's help
Somewhere in there is the source of your addictions.
Meanwhile, you can start working with this: https://thelastpsychiatrist.com/2009/05/how_to_lose_weight.html

Anonymous 107026

>without seeking anyone's help
Somewhere in there is the source of your addictions.
Meanwhile, you can start working with this: https://thelastpsychiatrist.com/2009/05/how_to_lose_weight.html

Anonymous 107027

jiddu krishnamurti and meditation helped with a lot of my compulsive degenerate behaviour

Anonymous 107042

Tie it to puritan fanaticism and the fascination with exploring the limits of the human mind and body. You only think you can't live without constant entertainment, especially the most vile, instant-domapine-spike entertainment when you're in the eye of the storm and you feel safe consuming fats and sugars and carbs, and the most infamous dopamine feedback cheatcode: porn. But once you go through the initial withdrawal effects zone, everything from there is smooth sailing. Remember, it's always a bumpy road in the beginning only, and as you discover yourself for who you are, who you've always been minus the outside noise and clutter, you'll never want to go back. So what's the solution? As I said, fanaticism and romanticization. Whatever works for you. For some, it's religion, for others, a political lifestyle to make a statement.
Puritanism is the only cure to the innate suffering that is the experience of being a sentient human being.

Anonymous 107086


This sounds like a good idea but how can I do this for self-harm, which is my primary concern now, something like "Don't try to stop being a wrist cutter and try to start being an X"?

Where do I begin with all this?

>You only think you can't live without constant entertainment
I don't know how to explain this, nona. There's an extremely sharp and empty pain that I feel when I'm alone or when I'm going through something bad, and I try to relax, but I can't, then I keep getting thoughts to SH or do something like watching porn or eating a lot, and I do that, and I feel calm because that feeling doesn't exist anymore, but also ashamed. I try to stop thinking and do something else, but after a point I just can't take it anymore and I give in. I tried disposing off sharp objects that I got but there's always kitchen knives and dad's razor blades hanging around, and there's always something to eat in the fridge.
It isn't constant entertainment. It feels like something else that I can't exactly describe, but I wish I knew what it is and how to.

>As I said, fanaticism and romanticization.

Um… so I become something like a Nun and join a Krishna cult?

Anonymous 107089

Be the woman who shows her arms/legs, or who wears white. Be what is at odds with cutting, what is incompatible with it, what makes it difficult if not impossible to cut.

Anonymous 108863


5y alcohol free
4y tobacco free

There are two sides to this in my case:
1- I had to organise my life so I get presented the least frequently with an occasion to relapse (I stopped going to parties altogether for the first 3 years for example, but it was in no way limited to that).

2- Finding other outlets, not only to deal with the stress of giving up an habit, but to fill its place.
There is no bad answer in an absolute terme here I think, only in a relative terme. For instance, it is better to spend your day on vidya than drunk. Sure, it is not great, but it is a step forward in the right direction. Maybe later down the road you will be able to replace this new habit with something else (I do a lot of physical exercise these days and very little vidya).

I stopped sh when I met my partner, I have never tried to stop it by myslef, though I would know how to go about it now.

Anonymous 108947

headspace is an app for simple guided meditations
they have a 20 session Basics course and it taught me meditation

Anonymous 108948

a therapist could help you pinpoint why and how you are hurting

Anonymous 108975

think about starting more healthy addiction or, what is easier, a mere hyperfixation (not involving money), even braindead one is ok, just not hurtful, something to occupy mind

Anonymous 108981

I picked up learning poetry just for that reason, I know so many now.
Instead of ruminating you just start loops in your head of beautiful pieces of littérature,cor really worked out for me.

Anonymous 109039

Damn, I wish I knew about this 10 years ago. I've been reading some more of her articles, truly magnificent. Thanks

Anonymous 109040

Wow, really?
I thought it was a moid because I remember reading some articles that were borderline pedophilia in there.

Anonymous 109041

No way. The last psychiatrist is definitely male.

Anonymous 109044

This is weird. I thought it was a moid but… looks like anything personal about "them" is uncertain.

Anonymous 109072

every time you get horny just imagine yourself masturbating. works every time for me anyways.

Anonymous 109076

Anonymous 109083

I've been having problems with porn addiction too, it got to the point that I was watching hardcore pornography and taboo without even thinking about what I was doing it. I've seen so much pornography, so much terrible things that I'm not sure that my mind can ever be healthy again.
It feels like a drug, a drug that I have VERY easy access to.
I'm actually trying to give up on pornography but being highly depressed and antisocial is not going to help me.

Anonymous 109089

But addictions are so much fun!

Anonymous 109117

That book has good advice but it's really repetitive. I guess the idea of the repetition is to drill the ideas into your head but it got on my nerves a bit. It was still worth reading though.

The main thing I took away from it is to congratulate yourself on quitting porn as soon as you stop. People often say to themselves that they'll celebrate after two weeks (or whatever) of no porn but that ends up being a trap. It generally makes the temptation to look at porn even stronger and people will beat themselves up more if they fail during these two weeks so they feel more anxiety about falling off the wagon. Over all it adds a lot of negative emotions to the situation.

The alternative that the book suggests does make things way easier. Do the usual stuff of removing temptations from your life and finding something more productive to fill your time. And then when you make the decision that you have stopped watching porn make it very clear and then give yourself permission to feel good about it straight away. If you've quit porn for even a minute you are technically free from your porn addiction and why not enjoy your new life from the very beginning? Why wait two weeks to start feeling good about it? When you do have temptations to look at porn you can just think "oh, porn? Why would I look at that? I've quit, that's not part of my life anymore and besides I've got all these other better things to do anyway." You get a bust of positive emotions so that even the temptations end up lifting you up rather than dragging you down.

The book goes into more detail on that and has quite a few other good ideas too. It'll make you dig for them but it's worth reading

Anonymous 109118

Um go get help I know you don’t wanna go receive help but like if it’s that serious you need to go see someone

Anonymous 109143

Didn't know about the pedophilia, haven't gotten that far, errrrrrrrrmmm… I'm not able to find anything about gender/sex, I know he/she wrote a book, but Edward Teach is almost certainly a pseudonym.

Anonymous 109153


Anonymous 111005

Konatafags lost

Anonymous 111006

Get boost

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