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/feels/ - Advice & Venting

Talk about relationships of all kinds, ask for advice, or just vent

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I think I'll be single forever Anonymous 107048

I'm 20 and I've been single my whole life. I've never had a problem with it but I wonder if I really prefer being single or if it's just what I know. In any case, I'm so far behind my peers in relationship experience that I feel there's no point trying. I'd just embarrass myself. But it might feel nice to know that somebody wants me and chooses to love me…

Anonymous 107052


>I wonder if I really prefer being single or if it's just what I know.
Maybe it's both?

I "prefer" being single over being in a relationship BEKAZ I think relationships are complicated and hard, and I've been single ever since I remember than spending time or being in love with someone who I feel close to.

It took me some time to realize that I prefer being single not because I actually prefer being single but because I don't want to get hurt and disappointed by people, and I don't want to hurt them and disappoint them either. I also think it's also too much effort to maintain and be consistent in the relationship while I already struggle with depression and other issues.

I sure wish I had someone who cares about me, protects me, stands beside me and truly loves me. I wish I had someone who I can talk about meaningless things all day, but then I've always been alone since I was a child and somehow I know "how to be alone" and "how to keep myself engaged". If I have nothing to do I just space out and stare at the walls.

It feels so weird.

It's probably just me but I think 20 is quite an young age. You still have time, nona.

Anonymous 107057

>think I'll be single my whole life
>My whole life
>I'm 20
Nona stfu pls and realize your life doesn't end at fucking 20 y/o. It has just started. On average you have 6 or 7 more DECADES of life experience to live, every painstaking second of it. So please, if you want a real fix, start with killing this defeatism and self pity over imaginary "problems"

Anonymous 107061

Hi nona I was like you once. Never kissed, never held hands, never asked anyone out (but did reject a few people bc I didn't feel like I was ready). All in all a "volcel". And I got made fun for it, of course, specifically by mean family members. Jokes on them though bc I got into a relationship at 24-ish. He is my first every boyfriend and very sweet, I'm glad I waited for the right one.

I was so desperate to get a bf I went on dating apps and even went on 4chan soc which was probably my lowest of my low point in my life. I literally would spend like 5h of my time trying to find 'the right one' online bc I treated dating apps as a grocery list, trying to find a guy who ticked all my desireable traits I'd like in a guy.

I think chasing after men isn't a good way to spend your time. IT IS A GIANT waste of time. It's better to develop yourself as much as possible so you can be happy with who you WILL BECOME AND WHO you WANT to become.

Anonymous 107068

that's unfair and reeks of cope. she realistically has less than 2 decades to find the right man if she wants to have children. maybe 4 decades if she wants to be in a childless relationship or become the unloved stepmother for some divorced guy's preexisting kids.

Anonymous 107070

so how did you find your bf then?

Anonymous 107076

Dungeons and dragons sessions. He was the DM

Anonymous 107085

Nona there are people that are lucky enough to meet their soulmate right away.

Anonymous 107266

Same experience

Anonymous 107269

anon you're 20 lmao calm down and complain again when you're 30 and haven't been in a relationship. Wdyn so far behind peers, you're still in education and have barely entered adulthood two years ago, your brain hasn't even fully developed yet. Your whole life is still moving and changing fast at this age, there's still so much more in life experience to be gained for anyone at only 20 but somehow it's too late for you to date for the first time?

Not trying to be mean but you need to put things into perspective. You're not too late, you're still fully in the process of becoming a well rounded adult and you haven't lost much of value by not experiencing naive teenage puppylove that never lasts.

Anonymous 107271

You're only 20, you have no business talking about being single forever because it's too embarassing to try. Keep that mindset up and you'll be digging your own grave. You'll be 25 or 30 and curse yourself for not realizing how young you were and how socially acceptable it is to be inexperienced at 20.

That said, only date if you actually want to and not because you're desperate to get rid of the "I have never"-label.

Anonymous 107314


There is nothing wrong with staying single. The issue is getting along with someone just because society expects you to be in a relationship even if you don't find it comfortable or don't feel compatible.
I wish to believe the right person always waits so that it can appear in your life. Eventually

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