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/feels/ - Advice & Venting

Talk about relationships of all kinds, ask for advice, or just vent

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Please read the rules! Last update: 04/27/2021


What are some genuine critique points your bf has? Anonymous 108265

How do you work on yourself?
What do you think does he like best about you?

Anonymous 108271

dont be greedy.jpg

He wants me to quit ciggies bc he can't handle the smell.

Anonymous 108272

He doesn’t like that I don’t tell him what’s on my mind and ignore him when I am upset.
He says that I am the sweetest girl he’s met. His family tried to convince him to break up with me but he defended me saying I was a good person and that he wouldn’t do that.

Anonymous 108289

>He doesn’t like that I don’t tell him what’s on my mind and ignore him when I am upset.
Well why don't you tell him? Seems more like a typical man-problem

Anonymous 108291

I don’t want to talk to him when he says or does something hurtful. I’d rather be alone. He is oblivious sometimes that he is disrespectful toward me and I don’t entertain certain signals in that regard. And no, I don’t behave like a man. What a weird comment.

Anonymous 108389

I don't think you realize how deranged this is.
You're getting upset at things he does that hurt you, yet he doesn't know it hurts you or that he's being disrespectful, with no further info I can only guess this means from actually hurtful stuff to even smaller things that only makes you upset.

Instead of communicating it, you shut him off and now he has to play guessing games wondering why the fuck you're mad and if he's even the cause of it and I guarantee he's even thinking you're cheating on him and that's why you're distant.
You don't act like a man, you're just acting extremely selfishly.

Anonymous 108433

Anonymous 108439

But you talk to him about it after you've had a bit of alone time, right? You don't just stew and then never talk about what was bothering you in the first place? Because that'd be really, really dumb.

Anonymous 108450

I talk and complain too much. Been working on distracting myself or asking myself if whatever I’m about to start stressing/complaining over is worth bringing up or if there’s anything that can change and if not I try to move on. I panic or freak out really easily over stupid stuff and it’s not rational or fair to him to deal with,

Anonymous 108485

what is it he does that sets you off? if it makes you that upset its probably worth mentioning right?

Anonymous 108507

Things like… getting very distant for weeks at a time or reminding me that he can and will get anyone else he wants.

Anonymous 108521

>getting very distant for weeks at a time
Mental illness.

>reminding me that he can and will get anyone else he wants

That's straight-up abuse, nona. There is absolutely nothing good that can come out of it. Drop him and find someone capable of at least pretending that they respect you.

Anonymous 108525

yeah that's really bad

Anonymous 108671

I'm a horrible, entitled brat. I complain and make obnoxious sighs/remarks when slightly inconvenienced, and I'm obsessed with trappings of wealth. I try to regulate these impulses, but every so often a bitchy lip smack or deep sigh will escape when he does something minor like pulls a drawer out in front of me. I constantly spend money unnecessarily without even thinking about it, because I feel like I'll be judged for choosing generic brands, cheaper clothes etc. I have no idea how he puts up with me.

Anonymous 108676


He says I am too hard on myself and strive to be perfect in every new thing I try. If I don't succeed, I see this as an automatic failure, I am too stupid/not skilled enough and will stop.

Anonymous 108678

I don’t think it’s right for you to call me extremely selfish based on your own assumptions. What you see as the proper way to react in such situations is not acceptable for me. You can communicate however you want in your own relationship and I will do the same.
He usually realizes that I am upset and asks. Then I will tell him why I am bothered. He actually does listen to my concerns and I’m usually satisfied with how he responds to these issues.

Anonymous 108730

He critiques me a lot on my mental health and how I deal with it. He is right in some respects but also I hate hearing someone who has never gone through these struggles act like i can fix it all myself, I put in a lot of effort to cope with just living everyday and it feels like he doesn't even see that - only sees the bad stuff

Anonymous 108756


He's not real

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