/feels/ - Advice & Venting

He wants me to quit ciggies bc he can't handle the smell.

He doesn’t like that I don’t tell him what’s on my mind and ignore him when I am upset.
He says that I am the sweetest girl he’s met. His family tried to convince him to break up with me but he defended me saying I was a good person and that he wouldn’t do that.

>>108272
>He doesn’t like that I don’t tell him what’s on my mind and ignore him when I am upset.
Well why don't you tell him? Seems more like a typical man-problem

>>108289
I don’t want to talk to him when he says or does something hurtful. I’d rather be alone. He is oblivious sometimes that he is disrespectful toward me and I don’t entertain certain signals in that regard. And no, I don’t behave like a man. What a weird comment.

>>108291
I don't think you realize how deranged this is.
You're getting upset at things he does that hurt you, yet he doesn't know it hurts you or that he's being disrespectful, with no further info I can only guess this means from actually hurtful stuff to even smaller things that only makes you upset.

Instead of communicating it, you shut him off and now he has to play guessing games wondering why the fuck you're mad and if he's even the cause of it and I guarantee he's even thinking you're cheating on him and that's why you're distant.
You don't act like a man, you're just acting extremely selfishly.

>>108389
this

>>108291
But you talk to him about it after you've had a bit of alone time, right? You don't just stew and then never talk about what was bothering you in the first place? Because that'd be really, really dumb.

I talk and complain too much. Been working on distracting myself or asking myself if whatever I’m about to start stressing/complaining over is worth bringing up or if there’s anything that can change and if not I try to move on. I panic or freak out really easily over stupid stuff and it’s not rational or fair to him to deal with,

>>108450
what is it he does that sets you off? if it makes you that upset its probably worth mentioning right?

>>108485
Things like… getting very distant for weeks at a time or reminding me that he can and will get anyone else he wants.

>>108507
>getting very distant for weeks at a time
Mental illness.

>reminding me that he can and will get anyone else he wants
That's straight-up abuse, nona. There is absolutely nothing good that can come out of it. Drop him and find someone capable of at least pretending that they respect you.

>>108507
yeah that's really bad

I'm a horrible, entitled brat. I complain and make obnoxious sighs/remarks when slightly inconvenienced, and I'm obsessed with trappings of wealth. I try to regulate these impulses, but every so often a bitchy lip smack or deep sigh will escape when he does something minor like pulls a drawer out in front of me. I constantly spend money unnecessarily without even thinking about it, because I feel like I'll be judged for choosing generic brands, cheaper clothes etc. I have no idea how he puts up with me.

He says I am too hard on myself and strive to be perfect in every new thing I try. If I don't succeed, I see this as an automatic failure, I am too stupid/not skilled enough and will stop.

>>108389
I don’t think it’s right for you to call me extremely selfish based on your own assumptions. What you see as the proper way to react in such situations is not acceptable for me. You can communicate however you want in your own relationship and I will do the same.
>>108439
He usually realizes that I am upset and asks. Then I will tell him why I am bothered. He actually does listen to my concerns and I’m usually satisfied with how he responds to these issues.

He critiques me a lot on my mental health and how I deal with it. He is right in some respects but also I hate hearing someone who has never gone through these struggles act like i can fix it all myself, I put in a lot of effort to cope with just living everyday and it feels like he doesn't even see that - only sees the bad stuff

>>108265
He's not real