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/feels/ - Advice & Venting

Talk about relationships of all kinds, ask for advice, or just vent

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Why are most narcissistic parents a women Anonymous 108471

Is it because women suffer more in life? I have an abusive mother and like most of them she was obsessed with my physical looks and youth which makes sense cause aging is objectively horrible as a woman and our physical looks are really important part of our identity.
She literally hates me and has expectations of me which when I don't fulfill it makes her feel like the victim. Both of us can't do anything without it affecting the other one's emotions. It makes me feel filthy and enslaved, she abused me so much until it paralyzed me mentally as an autistic woman and it caused me to act in ways that made me get in trouble at my house constantly but I couldn't communicate that it's her fault but if I did I would feel bad cause then she would feel like a victim of me. We both are individuals and everyone has their individuality so since she hates me for existing I feel a constant guilt like I have to cater to her individuality but feel bad about mine. It literally can be called a reactionship what we have between us cause she is so emotionally affected by me and I'm by her mostly cause I have no choice. I can't communicate with her and ask her what's her problem cause she is not very intelligent plus she's neurotic and like I said very emotional about my existence. And my empathy for her causes me to feel shame like sorry I was born and don't act the way you want me and it was your duty to serve the child you made what can I fucking do about this conflict like wtf are humans supposed to do

Anonymous 108475

>Why are most narcissistic parents a women
That's not true. Both men and women are equally diagnosed with NPD.

Anonymous 108493

I’m guessing you’re being hyperbolic with the “most NPD parents are women” thing. But I think that it could possibly feel that way because mothers tend to latch onto their children more than fathers and have a more active role in parenting. It could be that it’s not that more NPD parents are the mothers, but that the NPD fathers are more likely to be distant/absent/neglectful toward their children and as a result their traits might have more noticeable negative impacts on other relationships, like their spouse, friends, coworkers, mistresses, etc. so there are less anecdotes available from children.

Mothers are usually more present so they’re more likely to kinda… merge their identity with their children in a toxic way. They simultaneously need you to be the unrealistic best because their worth is based on your achievement and/or beauty, but their ego’s are also threatened when you overpass their own success. Spending your life tip toeing a fragile line laid out by an entirely illogical and delusional adult who is acting like a teenager. Like, who is supposed to be the responsible one when they act like that?

I’m sorry OP.

Anonymous 108755

Generally, being a mother is much more of an identity than being a father. Men might be fathers but that is usually just one small part of how they identify themselves. They put a lot more emphasis on things like their career, hobbies, or tastes. Not only that but men receive validation not from love, but from admiration and accomplishment. Having a child who deeply loves them doesn't have as much impact. So from the perspective of a narcissist parent, if being a parent is a large part of your identity then you will put much more attention into it, trying to coerce your child into playing into your delusions about yourself. The relationship between the parent and child would also be the best source for validation for a female narcissist over a male one, as the males are generally businessmen who are pursuing their validation that way. So really the answer is just that the narcissist father usually has less to gain from abusing his child so it will happen less frequently or be less severe.

Anonymous 109584

moid narcissists are less likely to have children.

Anonymous 109585

How exactly do you figure a chart showing men kill themselves 500% more often than women proves women suffer more?

Anonymous 109586

I don't think that was anons intention. Slide post

Anonymous 109590

Do you have any siblings? Someone who knows what you're going through might help.


Moid sumiside methods are more effective and moids are exponentially worse at dealing with their problems. It should surprise approximately nobody that the ape-brained scrotes who punch holes in walls over video games shoot themselves more than women do. It's not a good way to measure "suffering" at all.

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