/feels/ - Advice & Venting

i have a parasocial relationship with this one girl. there are days where im constantly maladaptive daydreaming and shes always the star of it. she influences my interests, clothes, and now even my art style. i relate with you on some things, like how thinking about her makes me feel less alone. its like im hanging out with her in my head after a long hard day. i go on walks and pretend shes next to me. when i go to the store i pretend to pick out a gift for her.

i dont want to waste my time on other people because they just arent her. im aware that its a parasocial relationship, so i know she cant hurt or leave me which makes it feel safe unlike if it was real, then id be freaking out about every thing i do accidentally pushing her away. thats what makes it so appealing and hard to let go.

>>111095
I'm never attracted to anybody either. I would honestly just rather write. I am 29 years old and feel more strongly about this than ever each year.

I watch a guy who streams himself woodworking and blacksmithing for home renovations while chatting with people. Originally I just thought he was handsome and wanted to watch him make a table while talking about developing patience, but after he read out a few messages and laughed at my jokes, I've gone down a spiral into fullblown parasocial romance. I feel almost no need to interact with any other men because he's the full package and no one "real" can compete. He now knows my handle and refers to me by name when he talks about issues I've brought up or makes inside jokes we have. I know he has some kind of relationship with a woman who's been behind the camera a few times, but I can edit her out of my memories and fantasies reflexively. I know it's not healthy, but he's a perfect boyfriend who can never hurt me.

>>111101
i do a lot of those things too. i had a stressful day yesterday so before i went to sleep i imagined what he would say to me and it actually made me feel better kek. i think it was initially a coping mechanism for loneliness, but it's superseded that since i've lost interest in companionship now that i have him.

>>111113
that's amazing that you actually talk to him. even if i had the option to talk to the guy i'm hyperfixated on, i don't know if i ever would since i'd worry the real him wouldn't like me as much as i imagined. enjoy your comfy home renovation streams anon.

Sometimes I feel that way. I do this with a YouTuber. Also the fact that he looks like someone I used to date (I think he's a better version). He would always reply to my emails and it made me really happy. He remembers my name and would occasionally say it on videos/podcasts. He never replies again though. Don't know if he's got busy/too many emails or if I just annoy him. I think about him and make up stories about him before I go to bed. It's so much more comforting. I agree, a perfect bf who would never hurt me.

>>111095
I've gotten into some but didn't last long cause all these online moids wear masks and high chance they're vile irl. One got exposed as a zoophile and groomer, the other manipulated and emotionally abused his girlfriend, tons of r-accusations, list goes on

>>111095
>thinking about him also helps when i have a hard day
So when you're unhappy, you think happy thoughts?
>>111101
>maladaptive daydreaming
You mean normal behaviour? As in picking a role model and imitating her?
You're free to think whatever makes you feel good; you're also free to choose your thoughts over reality (proof: you're actually doing it). I don't understand why you both seem to lament.
>>111103
>I would honestly just rather write.
You already are, but please stop posting about it.

>>111129
my intention wasn’t to lament about it, although maybe it came off that way. i just wanted to share my experience since it’s not something i could talk about with people i know in real life and i assumed more people on here could relate. we have threads where people gush/complain about their boyfriends and the like, so i thought this thread could be something similar. i find it interesting to read about other people’s experiences with this kind of relationship!

i want to connect with other women and releasing art and forging parasocial relationships with an audience seems to be the way to go.

i feel like if i'm going to socialize i want it to be in this detached manner. i know that's not "healthy" but if it helps bring people together fuck it. maybe.

too bad i don't create much worth sharing and wouldn't know how to reach nonas like me.

>>111160
instead of forming real relationships, you want to encourage people to obsess over you and pretend that you are friends? that doesn't make any sense

>>111168

well no.

ideally not shallow obsession (even though that is a risk because i am, tragically, decent-looking).
the fantasy is reading fan letters about how my work emotionally spoke to people or helped them in some way, without the pressure of having to hang out with them.

At this point just look into tulpamancy

>>111193
i'd consider it, but i'm not sure if it'd be worth the risk. a tulpa is basically a sentient being, right? at that point it would feel more like an actual relationship as opposed to a parasocial one. i'm not sure if i'd want something that feels like an actual relationship.

>>111177
you want a fanbase and community, not parasocial relationships

>>111200
A tulpa is pretty much you roleplaying with yourself, but to such a degree that it feels believable (with the tulpa having its own viewpoints, opinions, etc.), thanks to practice and mental techniques. Unless you believe in /x/ type stuff of course.
It's about as sentient as you are, because it's just you but having trained yourself to converse with yourself from another perspective. It's not all that different from fantasizing about doing stuff with your parasocial love, and imagining what he does, says and thinks - based on your understanding of HIS perspective and personality, but still ultimately conjured up by YOUR mind and fully in your control. A tulpa is really not too dissimilar from taking this to its logical extreme, making it much more immersive but the principles are not that different. In particular, a tulpa's personality, appearance etc. are going to be exactly what you want them to be: it's not going to be a "real relationship" in the sense that it's never going to be a separate sentient being with the ability to disagree with you or do stuff that you find retarded.

Disclaimer, I don't have a tulpa, I've just talked to some schizos, so this is secondhand understanding.