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/feels/ - Advice & Venting

Talk about relationships of all kinds, ask for advice, or just vent
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Anonymous 112083

Nonas I need y'alls advice.I know what I did is super fucked up. The guilt is eating me up now.

I am in a long distance setup since a year and this whole time I have been deceiving the guy. Basically I'm a catfish. I am not gonna lie in the beginning I liked the attention he gave to "me" but the guilt of it all was consuming me. Tried breaking up with him multiple times but wasn't successful. He also introduced me to his friends on internet who also became my internet friends and the only social interaction I had. He loves me and I love him too.

I'm terrified of coming clean to him because of the hurt it'll cause him. He has been through a lot in his life already. I feel so awful. I have lied so much it's horrific.

But I want to put an end to this whole thing and wish he finds a girl of his dreams whom he can fully trust, unlike me, a horrible horrible person.

What should I do nonas? I'm at a loss.

Anonymous 112084

>>112083
depending on how well u think u can cope with his reaction being negative, u should either ghost him and try ur best to forget about him or come clean and take his reaction for whatever it is.

Anonymous 112085

Crush his heart, tell him you lost feelings for him and want to breakup. Contact him again as real you and be the girl you saved him from heartache after a catfish wasted a year of his life.

Anonymous 112086

Do it quickly, you know is inevitable. Maybe he can forgive you or not, but there is no other viable alternative.

Anonymous 112089

>>112085
Im assuming op catfished for a reason which prevents her from presenting as her actual self to him, so I doubt that would work. Smart idea though hehe

Anonymous 112096

>>112089
Maybe if she lowers his self esteem some more before she ends it, he'll be willing to date the real her.

Anonymous 112101

Just come clean. The truth will set you free.

Anonymous 112108

>>112096
dangerously based.

Anonymous 112116

How did you catfish him? Did you send him pictures of some other gal instead of your real self?
If he really loves you because of your personality and not just because of your looks, he might stick with you… it could be a litmus test as you dont wanna date someone who's so shallow and lookist anyways

Anonymous 112124

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the truth will set you free

Anonymous 112145

>>112116
OP here, yes I used pics of someone else

Anonymous 112429

Bump

Anonymous 112431

Remember catfishing is very common. You probably have self-esteem issues to work through, so be kind to yourself about it even if he isn't. If you tell him, be confident, apologize sincerely but don't grovel and be prepared to never speak to him again. Don't hope for forgiveness, just move on. And try not to do it again

Anonymous 112434

>>112431
How do I get out of his life without telling him the truth now? I am scared it will hurt him. He has been through a lot already

Anonymous 112442

You're not in a long distance relationship, you're in an online relationship and online relationships aren't real. You've never met this man. Might as well confess and take it to the real world asap if he reacts well. If not, nothing lost aside from time because it isn't a real relationship.

Anonymous 112444

>>112145
NTA but since you're the real you in the texts and only your appearance is a lie, I think if he's this in love with you tell him that the real reason you tried to break up with him is the fact that you don't look like your pictures but it's really you otherwise. Catfishing isn't honestly that uncommon and it's understandable that in this age of filters and Instagram models one would be self conscious enough to catfish even if it is wrong, it's rather empathetic.
Since this is online only still, you can even wait to reveal it once your self esteem is better and you're more ok with the possibility he is more upset with your looks than imo he should be for someone this in love with your personality. Then you can reveal it knowing worst case your relationship is simply over, best case you're still together and you're more free in conscience and can still be yourself around him and be at peace whatever the option but knowing the worst isn't so bad, and the best is simply wonderful



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