/feels/ - Advice & Venting

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Anonymous 04/28/24 (Sun) 05:08:34 AM112893

>"what time do you get off work?"
>"around 10 pm"
>"you should call me as soon as you get off work so we can hang out. make sure to do it immediately beacuse I need to go to bed early"
>"okay"

or alternatively
>"sorry I dont have the energy to hang out right now"
>"you never do. Why do you never wanna hang out with me anymore? Are we even still friends?"
Does anyone else work closing shifts and your friends wanna talk as soon as you get off work beacuse they work 9-5 and go to bed early and beacuse you're the one with "abnormal" schedule? All I want is an hour or 2 to be by myself when I get off of work to just be by myself and chill. Am I really asking too much? Is that so selfish? I know I'm lucky to have friends at all, but after an 8 hour shift I just want some time to myself. I'm exhausted. But I keep losing friends this way all the same.

Anonymous 04/28/24 (Sun) 05:40:29 AM112897

>>112893
communicate this with your friends but dont let them guilt you into doing it, i did this too though bc i lived so far and we just seperated, slowly but surely we lost touch, you probably wont but its something to consider, not to like be anxious about but know that its a 2 way street.

Anonymous 04/28/24 (Sun) 05:58:47 AM112900

>>112897
Almost all of my irl friends live in my home state which I moved out of 2 years ago to go live with my mom beacuse my ex roommate had a drunken episode where he punched a bunch of holes in the walls and smashed up everything. So yeah, keeping in touch is really hard. It's just every time I do bring this stuff up they get really mad and I'm afraid to be alone

Anonymous 04/28/24 (Sun) 06:05:16 AM112901

>>112900
you could just express this and potentially play one of those cringe online games together, i think discord is lame but in this instance it would be convienant, or maybe setting up a day for it so your emotionally prepared and could do something special like getting pizza or something, if they are your friends they wouldnt be intentionally trying to drain you of your social juices lol, they would probably understand.

Anonymous 04/28/24 (Sun) 06:22:43 AM112902

>>112901
alot of the time I don't even have the energy for a phone call as soon as I'm home from work. After a few good hours of alone time I'm feeling fine again, and have the energy to scoalize but by then my friends are asleep

Anonymous 04/28/24 (Sun) 06:28:49 AM112903

>>112902
i get it, try to do it in advance or when you are like up do it and then have the date in mind that way youre prepared mentally for it and you can strike a balance between the two, remember they are your friends for a reason :)

Anonymous 04/28/24 (Sun) 07:17:12 AM112905

>>112893
I want to be around my friends, but I just don't have the capability after dealing with the public for 8 hours. I've lost friends over this, because they expect way too much from me. Thankfully, my roommate is a saint. He's content to just play a game or watch a dumb movie and talk like he has an audience so I can lay down and fall asleep to the sounds of positive social interaction that I don't have to engage in. I'll wake up after a couple of hours, have a snack, then stagger to bed and fall asleep without feeling like I'm alone.

Anonymous 05/01/24 (Wed) 07:06:42 AM113066

it would be way less of a pain in the ass if the people in question didnt exept me to be the one to carry the conversation every single fucking time