/feels/ - Advice & Venting

For me, it was during my last relationship

I had a conversation with an 85 year l'd lady who told me about when she started working. She told me her dad didn't want her to work, because "it is because of women working we don't get paid much"
I realized, yeah, I have in front of me a living woman who was expected not to get a job. So women getting jobs is a recent evolution. She also told me about abortion back then, how complicated it was.

I understood that women aren't necessarily made to have children. That if they did become moms, it was because that was their role in society. Because working wasn't a woman's thing. Because controlling pregnancy was hard. They just did what was their best way to get a lifestyle as comfortable as possible : find a husband to rely on in exchange of giving him children .

Nowadays, especially in first world countries, women can fulfill other more comfortable positions in society. There are plenty jobs that women can do. That's why fertility rates are down. Nobody wants to be a full time maid/cook/nanny and depend on a scrote when they can get their means of living with low physical effort tertiary jobs instead.

To put it simply : motherhood isn't in my nature, it is a societal role that is no longer the best way.
I mean, of course there's some motherly instinct and whatnot, but I don't think it overpowers all the disadvantages of motherhood.

Oh my god this rant is getting long.

What I'm trying to say is, finding a husband, starting a family, all these imperatives I internalized, I realized they weren't necessary.
I realized there are other, more fulfilling ways to live my life, than having to compromise with porn-brained animals. I don't have to. So… why would I?

>>113154
It just sucks that my mom expects me to get a husband. She's trying to set me up with almost everyone. I don't know how to explain to her that this generation of moids is even more rotten than the previous one.
I don't know how to explain to her I am not really planning on giving her grand children.

I don't like how people stigmatize people who are content with being single. They act like its a guarantee for misery despite the fact that most people are probably going to die single anyways. There is no guarantee you will be a good parent or that your kids will want to be with you in old age. Having lifelong close friendships can be just as or even more fulfilling than having a 'traditional' family.

This is coming from someone who doesn't think all men are evil, and I'm also happily married. I do, however have eyes and can see that marriage and children isn't for everyone. It doesn't make you a bad person to remain single and opt out of having kids just like it doesn't make married people with children any better just because they married and had kids. In fact I don't think anyone should feel forced to get married or have kids. That is the foundation of broken homes.

For all the lurking moids here: this goes for you too. Stop making your value about 'bodycount' or marital status or your 'lineage'. If you learn to be happy with yourself you will find life to be less of a burden.

>>113156
nice cope but its become a fact most men nowadays are complete nigg​ers who will be terrible fathers in one way or another (pedophilia, porn addiction, narcissism, poor pair bonding due to objectification & misogyny, sadism against women). by the mentality you write with, im certain this includes you. its no wonder fertility rates are dropping worldwide.

>>113159
all women chase the same type of man (successful, confident, funny, social, tall, etc.) and that type of man builds a harem of women who he treats like disposable because you are nothing more than a live sex doll to him

I think around 25. I'm just so tired.

>>113160
sorry i dont take anyone who holds this opinion seriously. the type of "high value man" man who cheats and "builds a harem" is on the same level as a nigge​r to me.

>>113160
Does anybody really still take this argument seriously? My boyfriend was a virgin when I met him, and they're actually worse than regular guys. They're even more fucked up from porn, even less empathetic due to not ever having gotten around forming a connection with anybody, and they're even often trying to "catch up" which means asking you fucked up shit or trying to cheat.

Don't think you're some kind of saint because you've never mistreated a girl, you will, you've just not gotten the chance yet

>>113157
I don't even understand how it's possible to be "happily married"
All the married couples around me seem miserable

17, I didn't see anything fun with being a cocksucking semen swallowing pig and understood that sex only serves men and intimacy doesn't mean it's equal. It's still you serving and bonding over that. I wasn't into dating men just for the sake of male validation and social status and going through the tortures sex is even tho I have a high libido. Sex is violent, degrading unfair etc looks like rape. I couldn't stand the thought of piv aka a man getting off through using my body while… I don't. I couldn't accept that women can't have love without their own degradation or submission soon later I realised that our biology is the life that is happening to us and our sex dictates our position in life and it's biologically impossible to be loved as a woman. Only men are unconditionally loved. Women are the mothers efc. I'm also not a bimbo and can't fulfil sexual expectations. I'm jealous of men bitter and can't stand being humiliated degraded or dominated even a little so I would become abusive and see nothing wrong with it like I just couldn't be a submissive cock sucking pet yo a man making piglike noises in his crotch violating my mouth nrong physically uncomfortable regularly while he gets worshipped. Overall being desired doesn't mean you're loved or worshipped by wanting someone yo desire you means catering to their desire and tuning into them and thats what men get from their private prostitutes. I'm not willing to be brutalized kneeling or bowing down to a man for useless stimulation and being used as a toilet for cum then pretend its a mutual intimacy. Soon enough he will think I'm not good enough cause I dont act piglike enough while sucking dick and dont swallow or I'm not whorish enough and would have pretensions. I wouldn't live in harmony with a moid. I wouldn't feel being loved even tho people have this idea that you're loved while in a relationship while you don't experience that at all so I would have to act like I'm loved while getting my mouth used as a toilet regularly and having flashback to this degrading shocking bdsm act that's no different from rape or gross self sacrificing repulsive primitive animalistic shit. I would not be able to lie to myself, I would not be able to have my biological sex affirmed like this and the position in life it makes me have
Women are lonely and never get loved why fucking affirm that and spend life being fucked on all fours. I don't wanna feel being a soft submissive flesh in relation with a male body. I also have phobia of sexual violence n sex is naturally violent I wouldn't be able to let someone put a dick in my mouth or fuck my fave or put their hands on my head or back or grab my hair or dump their jizz on my or lay on me while using me. Lol the most honest answer and after all I just described real things I also can't stand males and they all are assholes

>>113157
The obsession het partnered women have with saying "happily married" "loving relationship" "mutual intimacy" "intimacy" is lol please stop

>>113175
You did the same thing I just complained about and used the word happy lol

Growing up I was what you'd call a pick me and I would obviously choose to hang out with guys instead of girls, the whole "I hate makeup and I love videogames" thing and it's bc I grew up with two brothers around my age and we were very close growing up and shared interests a lot.
And then when I was like17 or 18 I first stumbled upon the rad fem folks of Twitter. I stalked their community on occasion thinking they were disillusioned old hags who were bitter bc the dudes never "picked" them.
And then with more experience in life I came to hate men like everyone else. It isn't like I wasn't occasionally harassed by guys, getting catcalled in the street while obviously being a minor wearing a highschool or middle school uniform, etc.. it didn't click for me.i always focused on the better things, like all my guy friends and my brothers and father bc imo they gave me a good idea on masculinity as a whole.
Now when I look back to that time I feel bad for myself, I used to be all normal about getting in an escalator with only dudes in it or sitting in the back of the bus where there were mostly guys or hanging out behind the school with like a group of 5 or 6 dudes where I was the only girl.
It could have ended badly for me at many occasions.
Anyway, with time I came back to think about feminism again, y'know, without the influence of all those "anti sjw, crazy pink hair feminist owned!" videos that would clog my watch history, I could physically feel my sense of empathy develop as I matured past that edgy phase, as I drifted away from the more right wing beliefs. I went from a "we don't need feminism in the modern age" to low-key a radfem myself. The only guys I like are totally out of my league, I like the nerdy polite and kind dudes I go to class with who tend to be top of our class either way and have no interest in a depressing loner like me.
I don't know if I became more open to this idea as I entered university and left all my old friends behind and started isolating and only observing human contact from a distance. It's both a mix of me being too disgusted with myself to imagine myself in any sort of romantic cute scenario with anyone, I have to make the conscious decision not to associate my worth only with what I can offer sexually, because at the end of the day everyone can suck dick, not everyone can be a good partner worthy of love and affection, and I'm too bland, depressed, full of self hatred for that. And the second part of it is that most guys in my vicinity are misogynistic disgusting unemployed lazy porn addicts who spend their entire days drinking and smoking in the streets without doing anything productive. The school year is already over and I haven't even spoken to the one guy I find cute, he's been nothing but kind and patient with me even tho I'm really retarded and stupid in class and he's an academic genius. Today while leaving the last lecture for the semester a girl was like "let's take a group selfie" and I very strategically started walking away as I always did every past year in university but this guy called me by name and asked me to join then asked the group to wait for me to join before taking the pic. I look awful today, I didn't even dry my hair after taking a shower, 0 make-up, tired eyes, I usually despise taking pictures but I thought fine, this time won't hurt and now it's over forever lol

>>113173
Honestly kinda relatable, schizotyping-chan

>>113174
Faggots are incapable of happiness.

>>113178
I relate to your story. I had the same drift from "rightwing" (which is the ideology which is hammered into your head when you hang out on the internet) to radfem. I feel like you can only become a feminist once you step foot in the real world and start dealing with real scrotes.

> The only guys I like are totally out of my league, I like the nerdy polite and kind dudes I go to class with who tend to be top of our class either way and have no interest in a depressing loner like me.
They're pornsick scrotes too don't be fooled

>>113182
>They're pornsick scrotes too don't be fooled
That's the thing I used to think the guy looked physically cute and adorable but I was still jaded and apprehensive abt it all until he started dropping anti porn redpills out of the blue on his fellow scrotes I thought that was so cool..

>>113183
What's the dif between porn and irl sex. Sexuality is sexuality I personally think irl sex is even worse than porn especially as a woman. Yeah if they are pornsick they won't like sex IRL but its cause sex IRL sucks and vanilla sex is also a myth cause it doesn't even stimulate people. Stop trying to male vanilla romance happen it ain't happening

>>113184
Everyman is pornsick even if he doesn't watch porn cause porn is human nature. Porn (and not all is the professional one pre scripted) even caters to female heterosexual desire which is about being desired. And the amateur porn where the couple just films their sex lives shows that most sex is just a man cumming from piv then the bitch is like omg we made love uwu mutual intimacy but female biology only allows women to cater to the male desire in sex and why make yourself hungry just to seek stimulation and try to get it through irl sex in which as a woman you're not benefiting from it at all so idk why people are anti porn and pro romance like the latter is better or much different. If porn entertains humans in the first place then it must be their real desires and looking at human biology, pictures of both sexes naked bodies or engaging in real life sex it shows that romance or intimacy is just gender roles and the woman being fucked in uncomfortable positions I'm so confused by people who say the word pornsick if moids prefer porn then you're not gonna do anything about it and make them choose the more lame thing which is imperfect and its just an idea of human romance and intimacy humans do for the sake of following the idea or out of attachment or their desire even if they think its overrated or for male validation and social status

>>113186
+ "pornsick" suggests that someone can't be satisfied with irl sex unless blahblah and people are NAD at it cause these people won't make good partners irl? Maybe they prefer being pornsick to being a good partner for the sake of someone else. I wouldn't be satisfied with irl vanilla sex not cause I'm degenerate and prefer different sex but because vanilla sex doesn't exist and I'm uncomfortable with that

>>113186
Not every man I'm sure… I wish I could marry a priest.
You're very jaded to romance it's depressing. Life isn't worth living without love. And people can still find healthy loving relationships with healthy amounts of sex in-between. The right amount of it would be just making love to conceive children, and not in a Mormon way where you make a diy cult at home. In this economy anything more than 2 kids is outrageous.
Either way I still wanna find my cute ideal nerdy smart gentle n kind bf who likes cats and gaming

Like 18/19. I realized that there’s no Prince Charming coming to sweep me off my feet and finding a moid that won’t cheat is like finding a needle in a haystack.

>>113197
holy moid projection

>>113173
idk when I was 6 I walked up to a 10 year old boy sitting in the hallway and grabbed his titties and 'milked' him while chanting 'bru ha ha milk the cow' over and over again.

Got in big trouble for that one.

28. took me a while and 3 tries. I just can't deal with avoidants anymore - they're so tiring and at my age they're all that's left.

>>113190
you sound like my friend who has gotten cheated on several times in the past. I can't get it through her skull that she keeps falling for the most attractive, most flirted with moid in the group, in the room, whatever the context. not that there is something wrong with handsome, charming guys per se but she literally picks them for how good they are at attracting other women, more than any other reason. her relationships end up being about sex and larping as a power couple or whatever, no genuine connection. then he cheats on her with one of the many other women just waiting to throw themselves at him.
does any of that sound familiar? sorry if I projected too much there /blog

>>113174
>het partnered women
tumblr brained

>>113173
you sound so unwell and like i agree with you on some points but you need to turn off the screen and go into nature or something

>>113170
>I don't understand how its possible to be happily married
It's because most people get married for the wrong reasons. Most people force themselves to get married because of antiquated traditions where women were forced to be in loveless relationships, basically living as a traded commodity. There's still lot of pressure to do so today. I was with my partner for 10 years before getting married just because it made sense since we lived together for a decade already and still loved AND liked one another.

This is why I think there needs to stop being this stigma of being single. The only people who really shame people who are happy being single are incel manosphere faggots or self hating handmaidens

If my partner died or god forbid betrayed me I don't think I could ever, EVER date again. The closest I would do for romantic companionship would be some AI robot.

>>113326
But I said nothing wrong. I go out everyday and its nature who made sex violence an love impossible for women they can only have a cock in their mouth

>>113178
it's sad to me that hating makeup silos you socially into an NLOG - surely one can like the way they look as is and not want to spend money on stupid cancerous bullshit to look better, while also getting along better with women and wanting emotionally rich and meaningful friendships with them.
>>113152
>28
it's not that I realized it, it's more that I tried 3x over only to find out that everything radfems complain about regarding men really turned out to be pretty textbook and true for any I've known well enough. I'm out of school now, so I don't meet them naturally much as is anyway. probably would've been more productive if I realized this sooner, but I also don't think I could've without having given them the benefit of the doubt and to witness the consequences.

>27
I never wanted to get married or have kids. I was abused by my father as a child and have had a few terrible relationships with men because I wasn't mentally well and suicidally ideating. I'm surprised I survived my last suicide attempt but after that I didn't have the energy to try again. My very last relationship was with a man 15 years my senior who was sucking the life out of me. He was so actively manipulative that I couldn't fight against his will. I was a fool to let him anywhere near me but it's all done now. The last year, I knew I couldn't just leave, so I worked a lot and saved up as much money as I could and jumped states. Now I've been alone for over two years and I'm very happy. I've lost a lot of weight, stop using drugs and alcohol. I'm working on my art, I don't have a lot of friends but I have a couple of good gfs and we meet up and workout, go out to dinner together. I talk with my sister and mother. I'm saving up for my first out of country trip. Yeah, life is better without a man dragging your energy down. I don't deny there are some decent relationships out there but someone like me has no use for men in my life. I've always hated them and then tortured myself by being with them because I couldn't depend on myself. Now, I live a simple life with my cat, plants and books. It's just so relieving, it makes me cry thinking how I wasted so much of my teens and twenties attached to vampiric men.

I’m past the point of wanting to be alone I want to actively cause destruction on these men’s lives + as much as I would like to live on my own/ be on my own I can’t because I have to do sex work to get money at the moment and honestly it’s making me more bitter every time but I literally have no other form of income so it is what it is. I feel like the wanting to have nothing to do with men slowly builds year after year until it turns into utter repulsion and hatred towards them

>>113941
You need to get out of sex work, . I know it’s not easy to transition to another line of work overnight, but you’ve got to do it for your long-term mental health. If you stay in it long enough you will either get killed or you’ll want to kill yourself. Find a way out before it gets to that point.

>>113152
When i was really young. Maybe 10-11 is when i really started to notice you cannot really trust them, and they supply a TON of strife to your life. I also fucking hated how they're taken more seriously when they're conniving lying manipulative and shitty. I don't care that some aren't i cant tell which of them AREN'T shitty. They can be so fucking scummy. I have pretty much accepted the fact that they want the opposite of what you do in life.

I saw that when i was really young though. I saw girls acting naive, like they didn't know it yet and i knew i didn't want to fit in with people.

I know some men are not like that but jesus christ are they rare and you cant even tell who they are. Half of what they do is just an act and a huge manipulation to have sex with you and fuck up everything to get back at you. I knew from a very young age because of my father mostly. Holy fuck i hate them.

Why in christ would anybody actually willingly let that hell into their life?

>>113971
I can't stress enough though how much i saw that they were the opposite of us though. I should have stressed this more. I saw it so clearly when i was so young, MILLIONS of times.

Men do not want what women want and they never will. Not only that they conspire against us and everything we want, to destroy our minds and our wellbeing.

When i see women who trust men i can't wrap my head around how the fuck they think anything good will come of it. They are so god damn obsessed with controlling and having the things they want at our expense. They're filth.

>>113152
>>113152
When I was like 12. I never wanted a relationship with anyone.