/feels/ - Advice & Venting

I've got this problem too although Im lesbian and I dress masculine

your problem lies in attributing any value to men's opinions at all. you've got better things to focus on than how you look; your actions are more important. create a project for people to comment on if you really crave external validation, but work towards the goal of being satisfied doing something for the sake of doing it

>>113757
I haven't ever used makeup. Would you recommend not starting it at all? I'm scared that I won't ever get back to the normal state of seeing my face after using it + it's expensive and not good for your skin.
Some days I feel like I look pretty and other days I feel like I'm far from that. So should I just never get into it?

>>114014
If you're worried you're in a place where you'd use makeup to hide your face from yourself or to change your features in a way that would keep you wishing your face were actually that way then I'd recommend staying far away from makeup designed to "fix" anything if you bother wearing it at all.
I don't know if this would help you or not but something I did when starting to wear makeup was to not wear even a smidge of foundation/coverup/tint and especially not any contouring cause I knew I hated my face and nose especially. I only wore eye makeup, lipstick, and I allowed myself highlighter cause I like the shininess and cause it highlights what you have instead of hiding flaws you dislike. With a great many years (honestly helped by no longer being in school around boys volunteering their opinions about my appearance) I now don't really think about my face in a negative way and don't have the drive to wear extreme contour around my nose while also never giving myself the skills to ever be able to even in a weak moment.
I personally found body or face positivity didn't do anything and still made me overly focus on my appearance so I absolutely rave and recommend people try body neutrality. Just force yourself not to think or care at all about the way you look. Don't judge yourself in the mirror, if you see yourself just remind yourself this doesn't matter anyways and look away. Eventually you stop giving a damn beyond being clean and presentable. Men are judgy idiots who care about superficial nonsense, their opinions don't mean anything because it's warped by porn and a lack of self reflection on the best of days. The only decent men are the ones not obsessing over superficial appearance and who don't treat you like a masturbation vehicle. I find ugly men who are insecure and desperate for women compliment women the most but it's not genuine, it's like when old school fedora hatters expected sex from being decent. Unfortunately most men aren't taught that compliments are a nice thing to give someone so they usually do it transactional if they think of it at all. It's why so many of them genuinely think cat calling is a compliment, they wouldn't know genuine niceties if it bit them in the ass

i don't wear makeup at all since i feel like i'm coping if i do

>>114015
Thank you so much nona, I'll definitely think of your advice when a moment of insecurity hits me or if I ever decide to give makeup a try.

anon if picrel is you then you are literally beautiful wtf?

I don't wear makeup and have resting bitch face. It's like being invisible. No compliments, but no insults. It's nice.
It's also made me focus on taking care of my skin so I look okay without makeup. I didn't realize how uncomfortable dry skin on my face is until I took steps to manage it.

OP, if that picture is you, you are absolutely gorgeous. You certainly have nothing to feel insecure about.

>>114048
>>114078
The girl in that picture is a model called Jordan Mcewen.

Genuinely, people always look uglier with makeup.

>>122805
Nonsense, you're simply unobservant. You probably only notice makeup when it's done poorly or the person is already ugly, and most people who don't wear makeup are otherwise attractive.

>>122838
My mother never wore makeup, so maybe that's why I think that. But don't call me stupid and unobservant, like I don't know the difference between a natural human face and that oily greasy bullshit.

>>122805
This but there are exceptions. Though it isn't makeup technically those fake noses asians glue on top of their real ones do indeed make a noticeable positive difference but I find it ridiculous to actually use it. Or when someone has acne so bad it's actually repulsive, we're talking unseen extremities here

Another example are people with a natural blush that looks like they applied blush in a very trashy way so that you cover it up to look more natural

I'm still antimakeup though and don't use it
>>122838
Nta but 99% of women I see wear it so it's hard to not notice

A big part of makeup being ugly is that knowing that it's makeup makes it hard to unsee how fake it looks. If I was to forget that makeup is a thing and perceive everyone as 100% natural then yeah makeup beats nomakeup like half of the time. You also have to consider the playing field, if you're not wearing makeup you're usually the only woman in the room that doesn't which makes you stand out in a positive way

>>113757
My grandma says I'm attractive, and it feels wrong to me to compliment strangers. It's like I'm stealing time from their lives

>>122839
I didn't call you stupid, you did.
I think a lot of people also don't realize how ugly people actually are because you only ever see them wearing makeup.
>>122884
You have to realize that most people are not like you. Most people are shockingly terrible at spotting it with high accuracy.

i don't think i have ever seen anyone here seriously consider the negative side of makeup.

the disadvantages far outweigh what little advantage there is. when you wear makeup you don't look prettier. you look prettier to people who can not tell that you are wearing makeup and you will look fake to anyone who can tell and also you are lying and acting which has it's own disadvantages in turn.

so the fools will believe you are something you are not and those with eyes to see have the dilemma of how to treat you. do they treat you like the fool who pretends to be someone prettier or do they treat you like the thing you pretend to be? when you tell fake stories how guys are really into you in an effort to substantiate your acting performance, are they supposed to nod along and treat you like the person you pretend to be or should they treat you like the liar you are underneath, which of course you will take offense to so in essence by the choice of wearing makeup, you have begun the process to repel realness and have smart people uncomfortably walk on eggshells around you, which will impact the quality of your relations in the long run. to me this sounds like a nightmare. a thing you foolishly do because you want to gain an advantage but end up only alienating and weakening yourself. the height of unconsciousness and irresponsibility.

then there are psychological consequences to being fake (guilt, selfloathing, blindspots) which then manifest physically over the course of your life.

also a lot of time and effort is put into this. that's energy you could put to good use benefiting more people then just yourself. just eating clean, exercising, dancing, creating, meditating and doing healthy stuff would make you prettier too, but in a natural way from the inside out and it would make you stronger, empower you.

I think even if people recognize you're wearing makeup it still affects them tbh

>>123170
Yeah, people that think makeup is magic assume you are way uglier than you actually are without makeup
>>123161
Who? The older generation and children?
Pretty much all young women are experts and pretty much all young men assume all women wear makeup by default. Especially if her nails are done or her hair is dyed (95% of women)

However when men wear makeup people don't notice. They're like "yeah no way" even if the dude has no skin pigmentation
>>123168
This has been tackled in the thread before, but yeah these are facts except for the part where you look prettier, this is very often not the case due to poor skill or taste. And what about people that don't wear makeup every day? I mean people literally know how they actually look, they're not hiding anything.
But it's not that big of a deal as you describe, people aren't conscious about it esp since everyone is doing it, it's like putting on clothes for most

>>123172
>But it's not that big of a deal as you describe, people aren't conscious about it esp since everyone is doing it, it's like putting on clothes for most

it becomes a big deal once you begin to question the process and consider consciousness something to strive for. once "everybody does it" doesn't automatically calm you into thinking you're ok but rather wonder if everybody is in trouble, you might reconsider.

you can frame it however you want, most don't feel like their actual human face is good enough to show in public so they photoshop their face until it is and spend the day playing theater and while you don't see it, that doesn't mean anything. it could have a toll on the collective psyche and you would never know about it because to know it, you'd have to value consciousness.

>>123172
>Yeah, people that think makeup is magic assume you are way uglier than you actually are without makeup
Yes, but also no.
It creates a certain impression regardless of what person believes about makeup. It's not even necessarily because you look prettier, but also because doing makeup kinda shows you have the confidence for it, are bold in some way, etc. Of course, it may be stronger or weaker depending on your stance on makeup. Same reason you dress fashionably or show off or wear heels etc. Makeup can be a status symbol in some ways.
Thought experiment: what kind of an impression would a woman make on you if you saw her wearing makeup and if you saw her wearing none?
IMO that's the reason moids drool over "zero makeup pictures" when someone posts a comparison pic. The girl with no makeup seems so much simpler to them, easier, innocent, so much more ignoring of all the social posturing.

I'm not advocating for using makeup btw, that's just my observations.

orr I guess they could be attracted by the idea of someone "low-maintenance"? well, either way it's something like that

>>123182
>but also because doing makeup kinda shows you have the confidence for it, are bold in some way, etc

-__-

>>123172
Everyone
Saying "everyone wears makeup" and being correct most of the time does not make you good at actually telling if someone wears makeup or not. Your statement about men proves this fact.

>>123182
I think it's also important to bring up that makeup is often considered to be basic self-care in a lot of groups, on the same level as wearing clothes or wiping your ass. I suppose it's used as a roundabout and shitty way to "show that you care"
Generally I recommend avoiding these environments.

>>123190
Yeah you're right
>>123182
>>123183
>doing makeup kinda shows you have the confidence for it, are bold in some way, etc.
You mean giving a "mean girl" impression when you're dolled up with a rbf?
Or are you referring to creative non-instagram makeup?
For me no makeup is what reeks of confidence unless it's an awkward girl with pathetic vibes
>Same reason you dress fashionably or show off or wear heels etc.
Makeup=toxic poison, dress fashionably=uncomfortable mess designed to keep you alert and make you feel chained, heels=same as the one before+literally kills your spine, legs, feet and toes. These are torture devices. The craziest thing is that you're expected to wear these at events where you're supposed to dance a lot, a psychopath came up with this.
I came to a wedding with no makeup and in a shirt. A girl I know that was in 15cm heels with 10 times the makeup she usually wears was shocked to learn you're allowed to do that.
In a photo she posted from a different wedding shortly after she was dressed casually. People genuinely don't seem to reflect on the insanity that's commonplace.
I did shave my arms and cut my hair though for the wedding so I guess I'm with y'all a little
>Makeup can be a status symbol in some ways.
Heavy makeup = trashy. Regular = just like everyone else. No makeup = classy. But that's in my eyes. For someone who is into makeup quality makeup can give off a good impression, like appreciating the skill and effort I guess.
>Thought experiment: what kind of an impression would a woman make on you if you saw her wearing makeup and if you saw her wearing none?
1 - none 2 - non conformist
>IMO that's the reason moids drool over "zero makeup pictures" when someone posts a comparison pic.
99% of the time these pics are with makeup on, internet coomers are retarded
>The girl with no makeup seems so much simpler to them, easier, innocent, so much more ignoring of all the social posturing.
>orr I guess they could be attracted by the idea of someone "low-maintenance"? well, either way it's something like that
Stereotypes don't come from thin air, these moids' line of reasoning is understandable.

Sorry if my post sounds offensive, I don't hate people who wear makeup don't get the wrong impression

>>123192
>Makeup=toxic poison, dress fashionably=uncomfortable mess designed to keep you alert and make you feel chained, heels=same as the one before+literally kills your spine, legs, feet and toes. These are torture devices. The craziest thing is that you're expected to wear these at events where you're supposed to dance a lot, a psychopath came up with this.

thank you for bringing some sense into this conformist mess of a thread! at least someone bothers to question all this nonsense. i'd totally share some homegrown garlic with you!

>>123192
🧄🧄🧄

>>123207
>>123208
Is garlic a slang term for something?

>>123209
no it's an edible plant with a strong taste and odor that has medicinal properties and is said to repell vampires.

>>123212
Well thank you then, I love garlic, though someone has recently suggested that I might be a vampire.
By any chance do you happen to live in ex-USSR? Might take your offer if I happen to live in a driving distance

>>123213
>By any chance do you happen to live in ex-USSR?

no, many thousands of km west. also it was merely symbolic garlic because currently i don't even grow any since all i have is a tiny balcony. next time i move though i hope to have some more space to plant and then i grow garlic again and then i grow the strong pungent varieties that they don't sell in the supermarket and then when i have a completely raw phase again i make sauces with the pungent garlic and insult everyone who doesn't eat raw plants; i shake my fist at them and call their cooked food 'burned' just to express my contempt 😂

>>114014
I never did and I'm doing alright. I just dress nice and honestly at this point whenever I put makeup on it looks wrong to me, even when someone else who's good at it does it. Does save me a lot of money looking at my makeup wearing friends and family, and it hasn't prevented me from being respected by peers or finding a loving partner. If you wanna wear it and it's just for yourself go for it, but you'll be fine without it too.

look at the men around you and determine which ones you find attractive. if the amount of unattractive men highly preceeds the amount of attractive men, it could just be your environment. you could always try approaching them first but if you're in a region where courtesy is still expected, its likely the men you find attractive simply do not reciprocate your interest.