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Anonymous 113790
Does anyone else ever feel like they are turning into the female version of these deranged men who carry out mass shootings?
Honestly, I just fucking hate this miserable world and everyone in it. I mean, I try my best to not have any friends and not talk to anyone, but, even when I base my life around avoiding other people as much as I possibly can, I still hate them with every fiber of my being - and, with each passing day, that hatred only grows more and more extreme. For my entire life, I've been pushed around, taken advantage of, and viewed as easy prey. Just for once, I'd like to be the one that people are afraid of.
When I look at the disturbed individuals responsible for mass shootings, I see a lot of myself in them, which is a truly terrifying thought. I really fear that I have the potential to do something truly horrible. I don't want to be the first female mass shooter (or, at least, one of the first), but I honestly feel myself going down that path more and more each day.
Anonymous 113792
>>113790I felt that way very, very, very strongly in high school and into early adulthood. I’m not sure what I would have done if I had been in one of those families with a ton of guns in a safe. Or even if I’d just been in better shape with more money at the time.
But it faded really quickly in my 20s to the point that I don’t remember what it felt like, just that it did feel like that. That powerlessness fades once you have some money, and the rage goes with it.
I think homocidal urges are IME the only thing where the “it gets better” phrase is true.
Anonymous 113794
Completely valid. Even normies nowadays will quietly admit society is messed up. Refusing to absorb that doublethink of smiling like a lobotomised doll who loves everything is perfectly rational. I mean, you think a rational, intelligent person would enjoy today's society?
What I did (which is very easy to do), is to infect USBs with malware made from things like msfvenom and snoop through people's stuff. Looking at people's computers completely validates my view of humans.
Anonymous 113795
>>113794can you elaborate on this? which usbs? where do you get them and how do you get people to use them? I finished my PhD and have basically nothing going on in my life now - it's empty, and I feel like this is exactly the sort of adventure that could give me some semblance of meaning
Anonymous 113797
>>113794>Even normies nowadays will quietly admit society is messed up.But it's the normalfags' fault that the world sucks.
Anonymous 113798
consider the formidability in creation over destruction.
mass shootings are a little boys' game. anyone can stomp on a sandcastle or knock over a tower of blocks.
sorry to sound like a high school counselor but have you considered channeling your anger into art somehow?
Anonymous 113799
>>113795>>113795From first principles, what is going on is
>a remote access tool is a piece of code that establishes a network connection from your computer to the victim's>you just need to get the victims computer to run your programSo the main goal is to get a piece of code to automatically run on someone else's computer. There are many things that auto run code, like docx files. But nowadays many require user permission (which many dumbasses will just click yes if you frame it right). Finding loopholes is the name of the game.
One of the biggest ones is peripheral devices (used to, but less commonly) run code automatically when plugged in in the form of drivers. Drivers are low level, arcane, pieces of software designed to convert raw electrical signals into something a person can use. The easiest way is to get a thumb drive to act as some other device which has code automatically run, like thumb drives which have an autorun feature done through the autorun.inf file. BUT windows disabled it for windows 7 onwards. BUT certain things, like CD-ROMs, aren't. So you can make your thumb drive act as a CD rom to trigger autorun.
Another hack is implemented in the USB rubber ducky but you can do yourself. You program your thumb drive to act as a keyboard, but it appears as a thumb drive to the user. The thumb drive executes a series of key presses at inhuman speed, like opening command line and executing a program from it, for example, thereby executing your code.
I've done the first, working on the second. I've also got people by using docx VBA payloads when those dumbasses ran it. It takes some amount of autism and misanthropy to go through with it. If you have a PhD and are here you are likely to fit the bill. What PhD is it in?
Anonymous 113800
>>113798Not op but art in itself is a weak, often non existent way to understand and establish some relation to people. You'll understand someone better in five minutes of snooping on their computer than in fifty years of consuming their art.
Anonymous 113801
>>113790I understand what you're saying, different side of the same coin for me. While I would absolutely love to round up the abusers, pedophiles, enablers and other sadistic people into a giant warehouse and open fire it would be a logistical nightmare and near impossible to achieve. Even if by the grace of the universe you were able to go through with that, it seems that the justice system in a lot of places have a raging boner to indefinitely lock up (or straight up kill) anyone that does any sort of actual justice. Sometimes I consider doing something similar, but I realize that these monsters in human skin lot of the time get more rights and protection than the victims of their crimes. idk what im gonna do with my life, my heart hurts that victims and innocent human lives have to be in the same planet as worthless spineless predators masquerading as "people". There's times I want to splatter myself on train tracks and never have to deal with this shit again. There's also times I want to do something about it, to the point I don't care what happens to me as long as I can save someone from being a victim of horrific violence/abuse. I don't know how to go about doing that. The two things keeping me from going full suicide mode is the hope my life means i can prevent something happening to someone else at some point and the very few people around me who I love and I genuinely care for. I can't stop you from doing anything OP, but exhaust ur options before going ballistic is my best advice.
Anonymous 113862
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>>113794If you think that's bad, try working as a website administrator and having to look at the absolute worst of humanity (including CP) every single day. You soon realize what complete monsters people are.
Anonymous 113864
>>113799nta but wait you somehow get retards to download docx files from you which have a code you run on it which enables access to others computers? how do you even get them to do that in the first place since these are random people? also what's the most interesting and worst stuff you've seen on peoples computers and searches
Anonymous 113879
>>113800You've never known greatest art and literature.
Anonymous 113907
>>113864It takes a bit of creativity. One way I did was to put it in a lab report that boilerplate but needed by a lot of people because it was so tedious to make. So I could claim someone else gave it to me, after carefully editing the metadata so it didn't say I made it. It would only render properly if you let the script run. And sometimes it takes off on its own. The teacher for example has to check the report too.
It's not so easy to really understand someone's life, it takes a lot of effort to even understand the context. For example if a girl is flirting with a guy, you need to know if she already has a boyfriend to know it's bad. So I didn't really understand most of my victims. But the worst thing I saw was probably this group chat of frat bros who were talking about getting women drunk and screwing them, and how they got clingy and desperate when you're emotionally unavailable, and how to use that for an easy supply of sex.
Anonymous 113924
Def know that feel. I'm also an asocial hikikomori who can't stand being around other people. Tbh I don't think there is such a thing as good people and I don't think humans possess any redeeming qualities. I think all people are rotten to the core. That's why I've never had any desire to form relationships with people. If I had access to guns as a kid I probably would have done crazy shit.
Anonymous 113926
>>113799Funny. You sound like the dumbass in this scenario.
Anonymous 113929
>>113907Is this real or a fantasy you like to play out? If it's real, can you post an infected file and tell me how many child porns I have once I download it?
Anonymous 113987
>>113926:(
>>113929Um, are you asking me to pwn you? I would need to know your operating system and you would have to click the run option on a docm file
Anonymous 113991
Americans are so lucky with free guns, the killing spree I would have already done….
Anonymous 113993
>>113907i wanna do that but i'm so tech illiterate. if you see illegal shit on other peoples computer do you report them? i feel like it's a moral gray area because it's obviously wrong to intrude on others privacy but at the same time if you see something really bad i feel like the person deserves it
Anonymous 113995
>>113987im using debian on a i686 architecture. so i cant run docm files only docx. (not trans before any of you accuse)
>>113993you have to right? morally its gray but legally youre in the clear as long as its an anonymous tip with hardened opsec. im surpised the worst thing anon mentioned she found above wasnt cp. its a sign she doesnt hang around any pedophiles.
>>113924>>113991despite peoples cruelty, i dont view most as that bad, just misguided. so maybe its my naivety that i cant imagine going on a killing spree.
Anonymous 114017
I don't think it's that uncommon to relate to mass shooters or see yourself in them. There are many people who don't feel they have anything to live for, who feel they have been treated unjustly, who have a problem with society, etc. It's just that for every thousand people who think this way, maybe only one out of those thousand people will actually carry out some kind of attack (and even then, plenty of them fail). I don't think you will get what you're looking for by doing something like that. Yes I've also had thoughts like that, but they just remain thoughts because there's no point in making a reality out of them.
Anonymous 114020
I'm sorry you're not in a good place, OP. The world can be cruel. If fortune finds you falling, there are a lot of people who seem to take joy in kicking you when you're down. They don't feel empathy for your plight, rather your misery is an annoyance or inconvenience to them, or worse their entertainment, and you become more of a target for being in a vulnerable position. Something that has always gotten to me, is that I frequently find women engaging in this behavior, which is somehow more disappointing to me, though not surprising anymore.
It does make it more difficult not to have anyone in your life you can rely on either. When you're weak, where do you turn? If you have family and friends or other people who can offer support, then it's possible to come out the other side. When you're alone, it seems people are callous to your misery. There's no one to help, and they can push you further down. I haven't found the solution to this either, being myself a not mentally strong person. I think the best we can do is choose ourselves over our hatred for others, or at least that's what I've decided on for now.
You're not wrong to feel hurt, or to hate people for whatever it is they've done to you. I'd like to think there's something better than that bitter end though.
I don't normally talk to people outside of posting on imageboards either. I think it would be nice for us broken people to support each other instead of running into more hurtful persons though. I can't promise a long-term friendship, being somewhat broken myself. If you want to vent or something for a little while though, you can message me here: odynabiosis
Anonymous 114724
i related to a lot of mass shooters when i was in hs. a lot of them were bullied and so was i. kids are cruel
Anonymous 114728
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I'm so disillusioned with humanity because I made the mistake of getting involved with people who were adjacent or on the darkest side of it, and that transformed me into a toxically nihilistic and disdainful bitch. I realize just because one subset of humanity is evil (ie the people who constantly get passes to be degenerate filth who are at the upper money crust of society, we live in one) doesn't mean the rest of us are, but that line of thinking had me fantasizing about a potential suicide mission where I'd kill myself in Los Angeles in front of a known celebrity worship destination and leave a dramatic note. Nothing about harming anyone but myself, merely the intent to make a scene and a statement, people worship is pointless. It was diabolical I even had those thoughts, sometimes they still plague my nightmares. The evil some people can get away with is truly unfair and the amount of good people who are shorted in this life. People say karma is real but I don't see it work enough, or catchup fast to those who deserve an asswhooping. My sentiments alone and my negativity towards humanity on account of the abuse I've endured in childhood, adolescence and now adulthood mark me for potential "danger". I remember my sister stating during a particularly deranged and heated argument we had that I was destined to become a serial killer, now I feel like I'd be more serial killed than anything else. Lacking the prototypical male anger and the drive to harm or prey upon anyone, I always turn myself inward but end up in situations that leave me pretty wounded. Like some sick halfway point between perpetrator and victim where if driven the wrong direction I could go either way.
Anonymous 114735
Honestly same. I deeply resonate with them sometimes but that doesn’t mean I will go berserker and take random people out like moids do when they don’t get their way. You just do it the normal way and just take yourself out and don’t drag people into your mess
Anonymous 114736
normoidswillneverb…
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>>113790Very relatable post but I try to not focus on that feeling too much. I've always felt like mass shootings would be the ultimate adrenaline rush akin to a psychological orgasm. I've been in the TCC since like 2017 and have always been fascinated by mass killers and murder cases because I can relate on certain aspects. Obviously, I know they're moids and moids are filth but there's something extremely satisfying about bringing out your own revenge and impacting people's lifes forever just like they did yours. To keep myself in check I also look through the victims so that I do not solely focus and empathize with the murderers. Anyway you can call me filth for this, I understand. That's enough edge for today. Officer, don't take what I post too seriously mmmm'kay?
Anonymous 114782
>>114736The thing is mass shooters don't exactly ruin the lives of people who ruined theirs. They just kill random ppl and perpetuate the cycle of pain