what happens to those who do not believe in fidelity? Anonymous 116456
I have been in 6 relationships and very strongly feel as though committment will never be on the table for me. This isn't a new feeling, it's something I've believed since about 7 years old. Yeah, I remember being 7 telling my mom that marriage seemed like a shit idea.
For a long time I tried the celibacy thing, but my sex drive is just too high. I recently got out of a relationship that was ""accidentally committed"" i.e., the guy genuinely believed he could change my mind and get me to marry him. After this experience, I'm getting even more casual with my partners and not even considering them my boyfriends anymore. In fact I'm interested in non-monogamy now. Nothing complicated, just having a few friends who don't know each other.
My question is, what happens to people who choose to live this way forever? Does finding partners get significantly harder after a certain age? After about 25 most people seem to pair off and find spouses, but the divorce rate is high so I have that going for me.
A lot of men want to convince me that everyone regrets being non-monogamous, but as we know they are full of shit.
Tl;Dr young person curious what the consequences of my actions will be if I choose to play the field forever.
Anonymous 116457>>116465
My question is how old are you? Because there’s nothing wrong with just wanting to be single and have fun for a while when you’re young. Or hell, at any age. You might grow out of it, you might not. There’s advantages to being in a committed relationship (mainly having 2 incomes in the house) but if you’ve never met someone and thought “yeah, I could spend the rest of my life with this person” then you shouldn’t try to force yourself to.
Anonymous 116461>>116465
If you don't feel any fulfilment or joy from the thought of having a partner and family, then you're good to go. Finding a partner after 30 becomes an exercise in picking the best of a bad bunch, and there is the distinct possbility you'll develop that desire for family later on, so changing course that late is just a massive uphill battle that'll leave you unhappy regardless. You're really only left with doubling down to cope with a feeling of loss, but that's probably better than being totally miserable in a liferaft relationship that'll fuck up your kids.
Anonymous 116465
>>11645724
>>116461Never felt fulfillment or joy at that thought. Just sounds awful having a man in your house. Hopefully i'll be getting dilf dick in my 50s tho.
Anonymous 116467>>116469
>>116456I hope this doesn't come off as judgy but have you tried talking to a phycologist about this? I'm not sure if what you describe is an aversion to commitment or being completely immune to it. I think you should explore those feelings just to make sure they don't come from some kind of deep seated thing in your psyche. If that's the only way you can have a happy love life then there's nothing to do but have realistic expectations as to what that means as you get older.
Anonymous 116469>>116479
>>116467>>116456Also going back to your original question:
As you get older relationships with other people become rarer and because of that the few close friends you have become precious this along with your family and partner are a big part on keeping your life balanced emotionally.
Some if not most people would see not being able to have committed relationships as a sign of being untrustworthy or that you bring drama to their lives, even if you are upfront about it. Like you described before a guy thought "maybe I can change her" because his expectation was different and ended in disappointment. What I'm trying to say is that this behavior might drive some people away specially since consistency and commitment are valued a lot by people as they get older and have established lives.
Hope this helps
Anonymous 116479>>116487
>>116469Sorry to be a contrarian but where do you get this information? There seems to be the lives of normies you describe and then there's the people who are more or less in my boat, and we're just seperate species that need to avoid each other. I have friends who have affairs with old men so I know the dating market isn't as abysmal in older age as people want you to believe.
I guess I'm trying to get a realistic view of what the uncommitted life looks like from someone who's seen it. Keeping women married and tied to men is the end game of the patriarchy to me. It's completely uninteresting.
I don't have any psychological issues either. Everything is down to personal preference and my reasoning for everything is pretty logically sound.
Anonymous 116521>>116527
>what happens to people who choose to live this way forever? Does finding partners get significantly harder after a certain age?
I don't think finding a partner becomes harder nescessarily, but quality partners may become more scarce depending on your achievements and how you take care of yourself. I don't think there's anything wrong deciding to stay uncommited for life, it's becoming more and more common, but you should be smart about it and think about the long term and what you want to for your future. This goes for when you are in a relationship too, but some goals may be less achievable when you are only one person. Getting quality dick up until your 40s and 50s (which seems to be your main worry kek) is easier if you have your life in order. Having a job you can live with, owning your own place, saving up for a retirement etc. are things worth thinking about.
Anonymous 116527
>>116521Good answer. I'm pretty much as stable as someone my age can be and I'm only getting more successful. If I play my cards right I'll be a rich auntie in no time.
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