What now? Anonymous 119395
A few months ago I was diagnosed with BPD. And more recently PTSD.
It's nice to have answers. For over a decade I thought the brain fog I felt was due to malnutrition or something, but apparently it's because of depersonalization. That's just one example of many things.
I don't know very much about BPD. Every time it comes up in conversation it's either in reference to someone's abusive ex or as an insult.
Of course I crave love and intimacy. I've never been in a relationship before. I've never even had anyone ask me out. I have a lot of very complicated, very mood-swing-ey feelings about that. I feel like I'm almost trying to find shitty things about the human race to make me hate being around people, so that it hurts less to be alone. I think it's working. Right now I'm in a state of mind where I feel fine being alone. I'd rather be alone than risk hurting the people I love.
