/feels/ - Advice & Venting

no

Yes

>>119649
lol no

>>119649
Absolutely not.
That's just anecdotal but my only domestic abuse experience so far was with another woman, so I would also point towards >>119778

You're less at risk of getting seriously beaten up or raped if you date a woman, but ultimately it depends on the individual.

Unfortunately no. They lack a certain balance of bidding. I mean that two women both bid for the same thing but neither can provide it naturalistically. Another woman wont give you the sense of security that you will subconsciously seek in your partner. And it will cause frustration. A woman may surely be more tender with you and bake you cookies and stuff but it wont cover the romantic need to be "taken care of" in a masculine way. I have found that relationships with women are coddly but leave me feeling weak and destabilized. A person that offers you something of opposite kind, covering your natural weaknesses - that is what gives strength for a true love.
And you know, men also feel similar way with women, sure gays are easier, but a woman stimulates something more fundamental that makes them prepared for sacrifice and looking past the pride.

And this can be really subtle too, for example women usually talk in uncertain terms "I think" "mayhaps" "we will see" and such. Men are concrete, even arrogant, but when its as an ally it take a mental edge off many things.

All of this is too say, that being more empathetic is not what creates a deep bond. A deep bond is created by the sacrifices you make for each other. Empathy itself is faulty if you are not willing to actually overstep yourself for another person. Women make great friends, but they are unlikely to sacrifice for each other because they expect to automatically align on everything by default, people who enter those relationships expect them to be easy. Which never actually happens on intimate level, on the deepest level of intimacy we are existentially alone in this world. The preconceived notion of woman being automatically ally to us prevents from dealing with this issue.

With all my love to women, I just can't do it romantically, I found that being a good friend, tutor or pupil are the most rewarding ways to interact with other women. And those types of relationships can also be really, really beautiful, romance is not the only thing that matters. For once, I will definitely grief over my mother more if she dies than over my husband, although both are quite horrible prospects.

>>120593

You've convinced yourself that a woman's position in a relationship will default to 'coddly', something undewhelming and lacking in the ''''security'''' that a man can provide?

You don't love women, and you don't love yourself. Shit, you probably don't love your mother for anything other than the favor (I'd call it mistake) of popping you out of the womb and putting up with you for the longest anyone ever will. You can't do women romantically because deep, deep down you hate them.

>>119778

Yeah, these statistics are only true because a het woman coming to and realizing that she's being abused by her boyfriend/husband in any way is a series of wild fucking mental gymnastics. Doesn't mean they're not being abused.

After centuries of women's abuse at the hands of men (especially a man that has the title of husband) being consistently excused, trivialized, systematized, and every other fucking thing, I'd be shocked if het women WEREN'T making excuses for their shitty boyfriends and husbands. We all know a story of a woman who went against her male partner and ended up dead or ruined.

>>120595
You are taking something so badly made up out of your ass that I literally can't even understand what you are talking about.
I specified in the end that the key problem is woman to woman bias of allyship, there is too much assumption of similarity between women. And because of that there is less willingness to actually deal with issues arising from differences.
>something undewhelming
I never said anything about coddly stuff being bad. Its just doesn't fill any particular gap in a woman's psyche and ends being a matter of pleasure, not love.

>>120593
>women weak need protection and sacrifices
>men strong are providers and shit

I've heard this bullshit before

i think lesbian relationships struggle because there's a little bit of figuring yourself out that each one is typically going through. a good chunk of the lesbians i know are "trying" to be a lesbian like at a fitting room or some shit like that, rather than trying to make a relationship work. it's definitely possible, i know multiple lesbians (including single and monogamous, no poly) who have had wonderful and fulfilling relationships.
if you want to be in a relationship with a girl, you can make it work if you find a girl who is willing to make it work and also figure it out. the playbook for lesbian relationships is kinda… non-existent imo. the het playbook has been around for literally forever, so you'll have to be more flexible with lesbians. but because the pool to pick a lesbian partner from is smaller, it's gonna be harder to find someone.

best of luck nona, i strongly suggest you live life to make it work for you and at some point you'll meet someone who you can make a life together with. keyword MAKE.

>>120685
>the playbook for lesbian relationships is kinda… non-existent imo. the het playbook has been around for literally forever
for real, people don’t realise this

I remember when I was a child, and my sisters were in HS. One of them had a bi phase with this dyke girl, and she came over one night while my parents and other sister were gone. They started arguing and her "gf" fucking takes a knife from our kitchen, and she started threatening to stab herself while my sister kept trying to take to take the knife from her…pretty manipulative.

>>120788
This. Definitely can see more fights happening. Imagine both being super emotional and since you’re about the same size you’ll be more inclined to start fighting.

Granted with a moid, a fight is way scarier unless he’s a twink or old

>>119649
Unless anyone can pull up good statistics, I'm honestly not sure I have much real reason to believe there to exist any disparity. >>119778 for example is good support of that.

Like, you'll see stuff like men are more likely to be violent, and thus violent to women than the other way around, test and all that, which is all true. Then you got stories like >>120788. So then you might say, "Oh, men are more violent, women will be more manipulative" - but are stories of men gaslighting women or using them not manipulation? And those things surely aren't uncommon.

Then you also see something like for some reason, when LGBT couples go to therapy, for some reason lesbian couples are way worse than gay or het couples in therapy. But like, they're going to therapy - aren't all couples in therapy gonna obviously have issues?!? And what metric is describing this, that lesbians are worse?

Surely there's more violent men than women, but will sticking to les/bi women gonna keep you safe from violence? Of course not. Whether it be violence, manipulation, empathy, things like estrogen or testosterone aren't the clear determinant of an individual's behavior. Can we really say that women are more empathetic and loving than men? Lots of people may say that (not gonna put my beliefs on this), but will this mean you're sure-fire gonna have an empathetic and loving partner should she be female? Have you never met a shitty woman, cause I have! Or a woman who sorta uses people cause she's pretty and she can and they let her, cause I have (not judging, go get em honestly).

I myself do my best to surround myself with decent people, and that includes both women and men. There are amazing lesbian relationships, and there are amazing het relationships where both individuals are empathetic and loving towards each other. If you notice the people around you which are loving and empathetic tend to be women, then great! Keep to them and treat them as well as they do you. But if they were male, I would've said that same thing. Slightly changing the words from the critic from Rattetouille, not everyone is empathetic and loving, but an empathetic and loving person can come from anywhere.

Not inherently, but the average moid lacks empathy

lol. lmao @ thinking lesbian relationships don't turn even more sour. been there done that don't fall for the meme political dykes try to push.

You don't need to lez out, get a support group for your shitty bfs