/feels/ - Advice & Venting

had a guy tell me he didn't think it was a real thing after I told him I was

>>120238
wow it's like you wanted to fail the bechdel test, anona.

>>120236
i have no thoughts. sage.

I don't see the point in bothering people who aren't interested in sex if they don't want to be.

Mental illness/physical hormone disturbance popularized by lonely friendless milennials that spend too much time on tumblr

>>120236
basically all of the "asexual spectrum identities" listed in the OP are the result of some overthinker considering their past sexual experiences, finding some superficial pattern and then proclaiming it to be some innate, immutable fact of their being

> fraysexual
> yeah i uhh, i fuck people and then lose interest when they start to love me
> n-n-no need to think about it any deeper than that ! it's just my sexuality, see ! hastily draws graph on paper nothing to do with me as a person or any trauma i need to heal, s-swear !
how can you take this seriously

>>120236
Not a real thing. Some are coping, others have some sort of personality disorder like schizoid or something. The biggest factor is that it's trendy to say you have one million different mental problems with a "unique" sexuality on top. I've always found bisexuality suspect too. Nonbinary is of course bullshit.

i used to identify as asexual because i was coping with being an ugly schizoid friendless boyfriendless loser but i eventually got a boyfriend in my late 20s

>>120246
/Thread

If you're "asexual" you're just taking pride in being too ugly to be touched or still mentally a child

I like them, they are based for making people seethe with muh sex bullshit. It's normal to have low libido and not be wanting to fuck. Sex isn't that necessary

I don't think they need to claim themselves as orientation, just low libido

Asexuality is real, but it’s not a spectrum. You either experience sexual attraction or you don’t.

>>120336
Howso? Do you draw an arbitrary line between very low libido and asexuality?

>>120236
Its mostly nonsense. 99% of the people saying they are, arent.

>>120337
I wouldn’t call it arbitrary, but yes. If you call people with low libidos asexual the term becomes meaningless.

Is there a way to become aroace? I hate that I still have attraction , still crush, have limerence, and just want it to stop

>>120356
Go back in time and have a neglectful childhood.

>>120236
The diagnosis demi- and fraysexual are sad to me. Both seem like they are born out of trauma from how society handles heteronormative love.
The latter is, as >>120251 pointed out, a justification for a trauma response. It's fine to be this way, all ways of living with and without love and sex are fine, but it's not an identity. It's a mode of dating. You are not discriminated against for hitting and quitting lol.
Demisexual, on the other hand, is a label I myself found interesting in my tumblr days. I honestly now suspect I'm just autistic, and/or that I (prefer to) develop sexual feelings after I have learned I can trust someone due to trauma. It's something I did get flack for from jocks at college or whatever, but for the most part, too, this is not a trait people get discriminated for.If anything, demisexuality is rewarded socially because you are not 'loose'.

>>120362
One thing I've always found frustrating about the term demisexual is that it by definition, by people who identify as demisexual, means someone who is only able to be attracted if they've developed a prior friendship… which is fine and all, I don't consider it a sexual orientation, but if you feel that describes how you feel love, good for you…

But the term demisexual is then pushed, by various sex-positive weirdos onto any woman who says she's not interested in FWB/ONS/hookup/casual dating/whatever… The reason I'm no into one night stands is not because I need to be friends first before I can be sexually attracted, its because I need to love someone and they need to love me back… But this weirdly specific term demisexual which focuses on platonic feelings is pushed onto people like me. And honestly, when some people get the "have you considered you might be demisexual" shtick, they buy in, and they remodel their identity and their internal conception about how they form love and fall in love around this weird, arbitrary term.

If "I need to be friends first" describes your falling-in-love style, whatever, but why is "have you considered your sexuality is I-need-to-be-friends-first" pushed onto every person who wants love and not fucking these days.