/feels/ - am I the problem?

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am I the problem? Anonymous 02/28/25 (Fri) 04:22:53 PM120256

i'm a very anxious/nervous type person. i've been with my bf for about 2 years now and we only talk through messages on discord for the most part cause we live very far away from each other and I get way too scared to call. growing up, I pretty much avoided boys and so i really cant talk to him. we've tried a few times but I just cant. it makes me insanely scared and nervous. he sends me voice messages sometimes though and he sounds really really really cute and I tell him this all the time, how cute he is. problem is the other day I sent him a video of me talking about some random stuff and he was just called me cute a bit. I know this sounds stupid but i guess I was expecting him to be like "awww you sound so so so cute" and stuff but he seems like only mildly interested? I don't know. I don't think he said anything wrong but its just that I feel like I'm so in love with him and enamoured by him and I don't know if he feels the same and its making me depressed.

Anonymous 02/28/25 (Fri) 05:07:02 PM120260

>>120256
You're imagining an issue that probably doesn't exist. I would also suggest you don't get too attached to this fellow until you meet in person.

Anonymous 03/02/25 (Sun) 03:49:42 AM120273

i think its important for you to tell him how much you need affirmations and enthusiasm. although, you're better off growing your self esteem in ways other than an online boyfriend. but i have had friends who made the whole online relationship thing work and regularly visit their boyfriend/spend time together in collaborations on projects. you will only get closer if you call. wouldn't it be nice to experience each other live and unscripted?

Anonymous 03/02/25 (Sun) 07:34:45 PM120281

>>120260
thank you, I hope that's it

>>120273
yeah i've tried lots of times to tell him how I need lots of reassurance and stuff and I think he tries but just when he feels like it. tbf though, I think I do overthink things a lot. like the other day, I mentioned I was wearing slippers and he asked if they were bunny slippers and I felt really upset because they weren't that kind and why would he think I have bunny slippers?

i'm trying to work more on my self confidence though and being more normal. I was really happy to have sent him that video of me but his reaction wasn't what I was expecting ig. i'm gonna try to work up the courage to call him at some point though.

Anonymous 03/04/25 (Tue) 06:37:04 AM120302

I think if he called you cute then you should probably believe that. Depending on his personality type, he might not be the kind of person to say "you sound so so so cute", and from his perspective, he might be anxious too.
That being said, you should try to see your emotions through the lens of an external observer. Some of the defensiveness and overreactivity to specific phrasing might be new to someone not used to providing this level of support, and taking a step back and thinking "why do I feel this way when he does X", and trying to examine whether it could be from your own past emotional background, can help in developing better coping mechanisms.

Anonymous 03/05/25 (Wed) 02:41:30 AM120311

>>120256
It is scary, but you really need to just bite the bullet and talk to this stupid moid, preferably with both of you on cam. The more you do that, the easier it'll get. Also, you'll start seeing him as an actual person instead of a 'really really really cute' sounding voice. To answer the titular question, sorta? Idk why he hasn't insisted on this either, though, if you're both serious about this and have been 'official' for 2 years . . .

Anonymous 03/05/25 (Wed) 09:35:36 AM120320

Yes you are the problem. You sound incredibly narcissistic and insecure and frankly insufferable. I was like you a couple of years ago though, so you'll probably grow out of it if you genuinely desire to do so .