/feels/ - Advice & Venting

no because that’s not a normal thing to feel. i do know one woman who wants to kill a girl for coming out as being abused by her ex boyfriend though. so those are the kind of evil people i imagine struggle with those thoughts at all. it’s always like an incel wanting to kill a girl who won’t date him or a girl wanting to kill a girl that gets in the way and/or she is jealous of. it’s never righteous and the good person is always the intended victim.

I wanted someone to die, not necessarily kill. I wasn't particularly angry or anything even and it was mostly intrusive and thinking about it scratched my brain. I don't know how to exactly express what I feel and killing seemed so logical in a manner that everything will be over if the issue is gone. I tried thinking of ways on how to kill someone, but in the end I let go of it because my feelings never last and I just die as a person. Maybe because it's easier and more realistic for me to think "the issue must be eradicated at all costs" rather than try to seek help because I never get help on how to sort out the issue or solutions.

My mum. She has mental problems and refuses to get help for it.

everyday tbh

I used to have a lot of hate for some people but looking back, maybe thanks to the hate I felt it made me change myself for the better

I thought about letting my mom die when she tried to commit suicide but i didn’t wanna end up homeless. So I called the ambulance. I want my ex bf new girlfriend to get in an accident. No these thought don’t make me feel bad or like I’m a bad person

I got court mandated therapy because I nearly tried to kill my step-dad when I was 10.

ALL MEN

I don't think I've ever wanted to kill someone myself but I have wanted people to die before. I just don't want to do it or be the reason they died.

When I was 20 I started dating a girl and moved in with her. She wouldn't let me leave the house and she raped me almost every night. After 6 months I escaped. The police were useless and told me I'm not really a victim and it's what I should have expected for being gay. When I called my mother she told me not to act like a victim. My grandmother told me it wouldn't have happened if I called more. And my father laughed at me before asking how that could happen and hanging up.

A few hours later my father called me back and said he was in the state and wanted to know if I wanted him to kill her. I thought about it and said no. He asked me if I was sure and I said yes. But sometimes I regret saying that. She was in the hospital for shooting herself in the head. She found where I was hiding and told me if she couldn't have me, no one could. She went outside and was on her way back in with a gun when the police showed up. She decided to shoot herself instead. She lived. So when he offered it felt like I could get what I was supposed to have. A final end. Never seeing her again, never worrying about her hurting someone else.

I know someone hurt her and she hurt me in turn, but I cant stand the idea that she could go on to hurt other girls like me.

I'm upset she is alive. But I'm happy that I don't have it on my hands.

>>120708
Hopefully not too much of a necro to get the full story? Was he a terrible person or were you an unusually bloodthirsty 10 year old? He beat your mom, he beat you, what did he do?

>>125062
The way your family reacted is absolutely disgusting, nona, I'm so sorry you went through that. I had a similar experience at a younger age and I think it scarred me for life to have it brushed aside so readily, maybe even more so than the SA itself. I hope you find people who treat the topic with the heaviness and respect it deserves, and that you can heal someday.

I hate my family dog because it killed my cat. I want to blow that dog up by strapping it to a firework.

>>123582
Obvious male poster, someone delete that

>>120666
i wish i looked like that

my last ex cheated on me constantly during our relationship. there was one girl in particular that to this day if i had one wish to murk someone off the face of the planet and erase from existence, its her.

she was someone that my ex pit me up against as worthy for his affection, and she loved i guess the thrill of having someone in a relationship talk about choosing her over me and also actively cheating on top of that.

even talking about it now makes me upset.
yes i do go to counseling actively to process it all before anyone asks.

>>120663

Everybody has wanted to kill AT LEAST once in their life, but it’s taboo in polite society so the only people who admit it are loners who have nothing to lose from saying it like us (and the incels)

When I was a kid like 8-12 I'd always think about killing people, when I was bored in class I'd look at people one by one around the room and decide who I'd shoot and who I'd shoot twice. In church bored I'd look at the pillars and think about the people I hated most that week and imagine hanging them on the pillars, there were ~6 pillars so only room for 6 or so people

I planned to kill my mom when I was 14.

But I had a reason, she was storming the house, throwing shit around, she used to grab my stuff and throw it outside all coz my father cheated on her; along with the beatings and insults as usual against me (she loves moids, doesnt care about her daughter aka me).

I stood in a corner with a knife for a few mins that felt like hours when I had to take care of her after her suicide attempt with klonopin lmao of course she didn't do well since she is still alive, thought about smothering her too, kinda felt anger mostly but then I was like "man jail doesnt feel worth at all".

Still sometimes kinda wish she were dead, I left the house when I was 20 yo but still, she surely fucked me up for years and now I live with all the shit she did on me.

>>120663
look a the website youre typing this out at. do u really think YOURE normal? be honest.

>>125750
Nta but people who come on here to gripe about how abnormal and ugly they are are the only abnormal ones. Speak for yourself, you sound like you just capitulate to moid opinions 24/7 constantly regurgitating their opinions in feels. I don't have you're stupid moid mindgutter problems or desperation to suffocate myself to appear normal

Your attitude is what isn't normal. If you had self respect it would show to others and you wouldn't experience what you do. Your obsession with appearing normal and rigid social rules is probably why people hate you in the first place

This has nothing to do with thinking of murder just the stupid twats who come on here with disastrously mismanaged self esteem

This whole sub feels is P-A-T-H-E-T-I-C

>>125753
shut the fuck up

abusive stepdad.
he died naturally and I eventually forgave him. wasn't fun to carry around that much hate and animosity.

>>120653
I've always seen myself as a pacifist, because I can see the humanity in abusive people, I know that they're operating under the same human nature as I, I understand that hurt people hurt people and I've had a hard time reconciling these views with my abusive dad's misogyny and so on, whatever, but I was determined that I'd never want to stoop down to someone's level, to become vindictively murderous when there is a better way…
But then someone raped my mum. She didn't report it. I've never seen a report of sexual abuse work out in the first place. I only found out about it because this man's wife called my mum about why she cheated with her husband. He didn't call it rape, he called it cheating, as if breaking into her home at night and threatening her was merely "cheating on his wife". And I felt such rage. I kept asking myself "Is there really no other way? Is that it? He can just do that and the only repercussion is his wife being upset about him 'cheating'?" and… I've never wanted to kill anyone as much as that man, that shitty cultist and "friendly neighbour" rapist who hurt my mum so much, she was afraid to sleep at night and couldn't even tell me about it because I was also just a minor and just… I found out years after the fact, I don't know where he lives, but when I remember this, I still just want him dead. But truly, I wish the law and police could've been reliable and trustworthy at the time and landed this rapist in prison. But none of the rapists I know ever went to prison. And I don't know what to do about it…
I used to think myself above being swayed by my emotions to commit a murder of vengeance, to even entertain that I could ever be in favour of such a crime. But I had to accept that I'm not above that kind of feeling at all…
I don't think it's likely that I'll ever find myself in a situation where I'd really kill someone… I still would prefer a solution and outcome where no one has to die… Where the law does a great job and no people would be tempted by vigilantism, where these cases are taken seriously and rapists face some repercussions… But in my experience, they just don't. And I do worry that I could feel tempted to really hurt someone under certain circumstances. I'd rather not be in that kind of situation, but… Yeah…
So anyway, that's how I felt.