/feels/ - Advice & Venting

>>120688
Glad I'm not the only one blackpilled on therapy. It's a bit of a grift, isn't it? I've been through all this in a feels thread before, but it bears repeating: most of our trauma in meaningless. Not that it doesn't affect us, but there's nothing to learn from dissecting it. You cannot 'get to the bottom of it all,' and you shouldn't bother trying, because there is no bottom. Our suffering is absurd, in the Camusian sense. You're gonna have to live and let live. Compartmentalize. Cry when it's appropriate, then bottle it back up and do what you need to do.

It does actually make sense to me that CBT and repeating shit back to people are all that therapists care about. Because for the most part, we know what we SHOULD do; we just can't motivate ourselves to do it. The secret, of course, is that trying to find motivation in the traditional sense of mind->body is for chumps. Mind and body are coupled, like electricity and magnetism. You don't have to logic your way into doing something you don't want to do. Just do the thing, and the mental state follows. That's all CBT is, and it's all that matters for people who really need therapy (because they're trying to fix their mind and they can't).

Ironically, that's not even what most therapygoers are looking for. They just want commiseration, like you were hoping to get from your therapist friends (who, btw, I agree are often clueless, insufferable, sheltered, naive fucks who shouldn't be giving ANY advice to ANYBODY with real problems. I have an old 'friend' who's had 3 failed marriages and wants to be a COUPLES' THERAPIST?!?!?!?). We've become so obsessed with 'self care.' What does that even mean, shlicking in the bathtub with some scented candles? How about 'other care?' And I don't mean picking up the caregiving slack left by useless moids–I mean making actual friends and looking out for each other. Caring about others enough to talk about something real. I hate what social media has done to my generation of people, who grew up online and for whom everything sincere is cringe. We construct fake personas and then literally PRETEND TO BE MENTALLY ILL so that we can pay these near-do-well shiesters to nod along instead of forming any true bonds. Well actually, not everybody's pretending. Some are brainwashed, and some others really do need help, but I just hate this culture so much. People desperate for community, and grifters like betterhelp all too happy to take advantage.

>>120716
Good post but it's ne'er do-well shysters

>>120688
The hint is right in the name.
THE-RAPIST.
If you wanna get gaslighted into destroying your own relationships they're perfect.

Got forced to do therapy as a teen, I actually went into it with an open mind but it was such a complete joke it permanently turned me off therapy as a concept.

>>120688
The real cancer are psychiatrists. Wastes of lard the lot of them. they don't communicate. And they're not real medical practitioners. They hear a list of symptoms. they cluster them together and try to categorize, and then they prescribe 10migs of blowuplikeafuckingballoon-titis. And then they don't waste 20 minutes on your case, even though you're shelling out a kidney's worth to be in their presense. And they continuously gaslight you into thinking the diabetes in a pill you're taking to manage the mental midgetry does NOT have any side effects.

>>120753
>They hear a list of symptoms. they cluster them together and try to categorize, and then they prescribe 10migs of blowuplikeafuckingballoon-titis.

Um, that's how medicine works. Not just psychiatry

I went to a psychologist when I was 12 because I was self-harming. I tried to talk about it a little but have issues opening up about my serious problems like suicidal thoughts, self-harm, etc., so I know it could have been difficult for her to fully grasp my mindset or whatever, but Jesus Christ, this bitch was just retarded or something. No empathy whatsoever, judgy. I tried to tell her about the feelings deep down I had never shared with anyone about hating myself, and she made a weird, grossed-out face at me, and I just decided from then on I don't even want to spend another minute with this bitch. I ended up just talking shit about school drama; I had to get her to think I'm fine, and it worked, so year 7 me thought I was a genius for avoiding having to see her after like three sessions of waffling but being 19 now, that lady was just a cunt because how do you get a 12-year-old in for cutting herself and genuinely believe she's fine after 3 sessions of obvious avoidance of the real reasons the sessions are being held? so many of these people, like therapists or psychologists, are genuinely just failures because not only have i had that experience, but i have heard so many other people talk about their shitty experiences. And if youre wondering, no she didnt even give the tiniest bit of help whatsoever, didnt stop until i was in year 12, so about 17 turning 18 and thats because i did my own work to try help myself and find better coping mechanisms. Quite honestly even when they do try to do their job it just feels like a bunch of automated answers they have in their head from some random text book and not real or helpful advice, none of it is anything you cant get from just talking to some random online, or a friend. they really are just useless

>>120688
I always thought therapy was for fucking losers

>>120833
Yeah they all say the same shit to every response you give. You can almost see the real them for a split second but then they remember their training and say some fake shit to your face. Like you're too stupid to see what's happening. Thank God I never had to go to one of thoese reprobates

I have never sought the assistance of a therapist. Something about paying someone to be… God knows what… never sat right with me. What would I be paying for? A friend? A mother? A lover? A corporate HR consultant? They boast a "professional" lexicon (infuriating once you realise that "professionalism" was invented to justify higher pay scales - it is a contrived language that gives managerial classes an air of superiority), yet claim no ownership of anything resembling a soul… THERAPISTS, the people who are meant to remedy maladies of the soul! I have suffered, I have been in positions (nay! am still in a position) wherein I have no one in whom I can confide my secret sufferings, but I will resort never to the corporate exercise that is "therapy." It cannot provide for me the same joie de vivre that one imbibes from great works of literature. The therapist cannot prod and challenge me in the same way that great writers have done, and still do, to this very day. At best, they will give me some exercises I can try, exercises which I have already read and practiced.

I think what irks me most about therapy is that people are so accepting of it. They think it is some silver bullet. "If only you went to therapy, things would be much better." Really? Leave aside your assumption that such magic bullets exist (or that they are necessarily better than mundane old grit and elbow grease), and focus on the fact that the biggest proponents for therapy are those who still attend therapy after years of going to therapy! These… morons (sorry, but they really are unthinking morons) mistake the anodyne for the cure. Week after week, they will pay hundreds of dollars to have a conversation with… themselves!

Why did I not think of this! It's such a brilliant business model: first you completely tear apart the traditional family model, i.e. you make child-rearing a choice (via the invention of contraception); then you begin telling people they have all this choice, and that ergo they have responsibility; then with this newfound responsibility, unsuspecting parents (with their unfortunate offspring) read books written by so-called experts that tell them to be everything and nothing for their children; then hearing that an expert's best opinion on child-rearing is to let the kid be, they let the kid be; then the kid is let be, and the kid has weaker ties to family and community, and this repeats until we have me and my gen z coevals, and we see millennial parents raising horrid children, and we see horrid children walking through natural reserves while watching logan paul fighting videos on their screens, and we see everyone we know frozen in passive, anxious apathy, and we may ask ourselves, well "how did I get here?"

And herein lies the therapist's purpose. They are more in demand than ever before, because the conditions that made therapy necessary have exacerbated to unprecedented levels of doubleplusungoodness. Rather than digging inside the recesses of one's soul and taking accountability (accountability for actions which may not even be one's own), we seek external remedies. The therapist teaches a very grim lesson - that people will only care about your problems if you pay them (a grim lesson because it need not be true, but I will refer you to 'self-fulfilling prophecies' and leave the remainder of this parenthetical as an exercise to the reader). By extension, we should only care about anything if we're getting paid to do it. People will not pick up rubbish that isn't theirs.

>Why should I? I didn't put it there.
Because the point is if you want the world to be better, you need to be accountable for your own and others' actions.
>It could have diseases, I'll pass.
I literally just saw you throw it on the ground.
>Meh. It's not my job to clean up rubbish.

People suck. Genuinely and unequivocally, they suck. On a scale of "not sucking one iota" to "sucking a whole can of suckola and following it with a shot of suckuila," they without fail fall imperceptibly close to the latter category.

>I could care less about your stupid opinion.
Ok so you care about my opinion?
>No. I said I could care less.
Which means you care some?
>Are you stupid or something?

If people will make no effort to be better, then the world will continue to atrophy. Going to a therapist is not really an effort. "Working on myself" and "taking a day for myself" are just selfish-speak for "I have such little impact on the world around me that I genuinely feel no guilt for not showing up to work." Going to the therapist is a virtue-signal that you're "working on yourself," and anyone who brings up how "transformational" therapy has been for them probably cups their arse when they fart & huffs it profusely.

>>121043
>I could care less
Always bugged me. My "english" teacher in middleschool spewed this out nonstop, so one day I dared to correct her and explain the logic behind it. With blank face she replied
>It's "I could care less"
People are stupid, and stupid people are too stupid to realize they're being stupid so they continue to propagate stupidity ad infinitum.

Psychologists are just a technology - a way to externalize the burdens of thinking and processing to someone else. Now if people are stupid then they're probably too stupid to glimpse into the stupidity of their therapist.

What is the cure to stupidity? It's worse than conscious evil, because then at least there's clear intention and can be anticipated and isn't forgiven after the fact, but we can't punish stupid people for being stupid, can we? Even though they bring en masse suffering to people with a braincell.

>>121087
>but we can't punish stupid people for being stupid, can we?
I believe they're punished daily, no? Gambling is a tax for the mathematically illiterate. Other morons will buy garbage food, at exorbitant prices, that makes their bodies fatter, their minds tirederererer (more fatigued is the correct comparative, I think, but I'm tirederererer myself), and their wallets lighter; if they rubbed some neurons together, they would put something nutritious into their bodies (e.g. a banana, although your average man is too scared bananas might turn them gay and their wives straight) and spend twenty (2-wenty) minutes not plonked in front of the idiot box (i.e. a box for idiots, not a box that is an idiot) to afford them the time to cook something. Stupidity yields negative returns, and we're about three (3) generations deep, with zoomers almost completing the fourth (4th) generation of no-brained dimwits that are driving the world to unforeseen lows (a devastating turn of events, especially after the great heights [h8s] that were the nineteenth [9, 12.7182818…th] century [100ury] AD [80]). Morons punish themselves, so it's probably "immoral" to punish them twice (2ice) as an agent with free-will. You kinda just need to manipulate them for personal gain, but haters will call this "anti-social behaviour."
But who am I to judge? I made stirfry last night, and I burnt it because I got cocky and thought I could peel the carrot and chop the pak choy faster than the onions would fry to a nice respectable brown. I was punished for my stupidity with burnt onion.

>>121095
>You kinda just need to manipulate them for personal gain, but haters will call this "anti-social behaviour." But who am I to judge?
nona, we all burn some onions(oh,ñons!) once in a while.
But burning people for my own gain seems to be nearly impossible since my parents have raised me to respect others(more than myself) which makes every instance of destructive stupidity all the more aggravating. I attribute every instance to a larger whole and see how it affects the world, and map my actions to avoid creating such bad outcomes. Which in turn gives me bad outcomes for my own life, why do I continue to care? Is there a way to develop a thinking pattern that is based on manipulation for own gain? To just turn cognitive empathy off for one second so it doesn't lead me to help others in their pursuits and instead I employ them for my own?

>>121230
>onions(oh,ñons!)
Thank you for playing along!

>my parents have raised me to respect others(more than myself)
preaching to the choir!

>etc. & so forth
I was being… Facetious. Jocular, perhaps. Stupid people infuriate me, but I don't hate them, nor do I wish ill on them (even if their stupidity causes me grief). I… It's all luck. "Good" luck… "Bad" luck… one follows the other so readily that labels like "good" and "bad" seem inaccurate at best.

We (as in you and I, and not a general 'we' as in 'humanity') were born lucky, evinced by our shared capacity to string together a cogent sentence. We were also born lucky, evinced by our shared vexations with others. I have used lucky to mean opposite things here, perhaps you will get my message, perhaps not… I could care less (because I care some - I want my message to get across).

I yearn for a you, and perhaps you yearn for a me. A thoughtful friend with whom to share some silence; this, my life is missing. (I imagine that, if you are like me, you will sit by my side and say maybe three (3) words to me every hour (3600 seconds), and I in turn will ration out equally parsimonious locutions). Yet nature has scattered us far and wide for a clear reason - this reason is to punish us. Of course! God wants us (you and me, specifically) to suffer, and so suffer we shall. No, that's not right… Well I've been drinking anyway, I guess. Tomorrow is a public holiday so my festivities are, to a small degree, justified. I do this because I get so lonely. I get lonely despite having friends, because inasmuch as I love them, I can't help but feel that I'm rotting away out here. My tooth hurts. I'm sorry. I wish I could love my friends all the time. I am… an idiot. We should be kind to people. Being kind is the ultimate manipulation, because they will be kind to us in turn. Just avoid being nice. Being nice and being kind are not the same, and the former is an affront to all that I stand for.

>>121237
Words of wisdom that ring (like a nice bronze bell) true to my ear. And to act upon wisdom gained, I shall wish you a good (Good) Friday, and this I say out of kindness (and not niceness!!).
>I imagine that, if you are like me, you will sit by my side and say maybe three (3) words to me every hour (3600 seconds), and I in turn will ration out equally parsimonious locutions
I often fear I am too predictable that way(like clockwork), how is it that choice words and great silence can bring a greater sense of togetherness than any ongoing noise which purpose is to remind that they whom are there, are in fact still there? Perhaps it is the kind gift of shared time to mull and ponder(pun, there) Which changes everything.
Why, I think(or rather, have learned) it's not a gift but a meaningful investment, for the resulting utterings are precious. Right you have been proven to be (B), nona.