/feels/ - Advice & Venting

My grandma died recently and I miss her so much, I cry almost every day (I didn't as much the first two months after a panic attack on the day she died) but I think now that it's sinking in more and I realize I never will talk to her again while I'm alive it's gotten more and more difficult to cope. She was my best friend, a second mother. She took care of me when I was severely mentally ill, didn't judge me for not leaving the house, cooked for me, was patient and understanding, gave me my medication. I did bad things when I was younger and she never was unkind to me. She was such a loving and holy person. She had multiple jobs when she was young to support my mom and aunts, kept working to help everyone until she was in her 60s. She built a home room by room for her family, saving to buy bricks and construction material. She didn't even finish primary school and came from a poor, small town. She was the holiest person I have ever known and she died of cancer, although thankfully she didn't suffer much or ling from it and she died at home. I know she had a long, mostly happy life with her family, that she didn't regret anything and that she was ready to go, but I just can't stop missing her every day and it hurts too much. It's the first lent and holy week of my life I spend without her and it's making me so emotional. I wish I could see her again. No one will ever love me the way she did, I don't know how to deal with losing her.

Have you ever lost someone and felt similarly? No guilt, no regrets, just longing for the person that is no longer with you.