/feels/ - How do I feel comfortable wearing makeup?

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How do I feel comfortable wearing makeup? Anonymous 04/22/25 (Tue) 09:21:37 AM121518

I want to start dressing nice and wearing makeup but feel really uncomfortable and out of place doing it. It just feels very wrong even though I'd like to try. I think it's a combination of me being autistic with no social skills and never fitting in especially with other women, not having friends, money or going out growing up so never thinking about my own clothes until adulthood, being very boyish and being horribly bullied and outcasted at my all-girls secondary school so I felt alienated from anything womanly as a whole. Plus I'm pretty childish and retarded personality-wise so there's going to be a clash between the way I would present while dressing up and me naturally being annoying. Most of the time I only wear shirts/trousers because it's masculine/androgynous so it feels natural, I feel like I can be my retarded self and I put no effort in; I'm not very attractive anyway so along with my issues of feeling wrong for acting and dressing feminine, I'm terrified that I'll be mocked for it, like 'why does that ugly bitch think she looks good?', or 'why is that tomboyish autist wearing that?'. I'm far from a model but I don't want to feel ugly. I'd rather not try.

Tried wearing skirts and makeup a few years ago during college at ages 17/18 but felt horrible, I think I rushed into it and should've slowly started dressing nicer rather than coming in all dressed up one day but it still felt so very wrong. I still daydream about getting validated by my secondary school classmates all the time precisely because I felt I was so ugly, so retarded, so below them and so alien; I feel like going out dressed the way I've wanted to since I was a preteen would not only fulfil what I've always wanted to do, but also help fix my need for validation by feeling like I'm at least not autistic enough to only wear graphic tees and maybe even alrigth-looking.

Anonymous 04/22/25 (Tue) 02:24:34 PM121524

>>121518
Most people are egocentric. That's not inherently a bad thing and it makes a lot of sense - "ego" is Latin for "I" and it would take extra cognitive load to think of things from others' perspectives by default.
What that means is that just as you are focused on yourself, people are too are too busy keeping their heads down and surviving to judge you. Just figure out what you want and do it without apology.

Anonymous 04/22/25 (Tue) 06:05:12 PM121539

Start with light makeup like tinted lip balm and spf sunscreen/moisturizer and rouge, tinted brow gel. You could try douyin makeup also, it’s youthful looking so I am sure it would go well with your young at heart personality nona

Anonymous 04/23/25 (Wed) 06:29:09 AM121550

People don’t really care, but as someone who was in your shoes I just gave up on makeup and focused on dressing “nicely” and skincare/haircare instead. Casual but still modest dresses in particular are great if you’re not doing anything active. Low effort to look nice in other people’s eyes and comfy. Just make sure to consider your body type when picking dresses out. Skincare is as simple as just using sunscreen in the morning and a moisturizer at night that you’ve found works. Hair care is just doing things like braiding long hair before sleeping, gently detangling during conditioning starting at the ends, and adjusting how often you shampoo (usually less often unless you have super straight and fine hair). It’s so low effort that it’s hard to feel bad about trying but the results work well. I get complimented on my hair and how I dress fairly often nowadays thanks to the little changes I made and don’t really feel bad about going without makeup anymore. My skin’s better off without it anyway.

Anonymous 04/23/25 (Wed) 07:31:23 AM121554

If I had the audacity to dress up I would but I've seen a lot of girls in my position with aweful makeup and dress sense. If I cringe at it then I'm sure others would too and I'm not confident that I wouldn't make horrible choices.

Personally, I tried stepping it up just a little, I changed my jeans for Hakama style pants and then started wearing some thin patterned scaves. That made me feel a little more flowy and feminine in public without putting my gangly body on display.

I kept everything a muted palette to stay under the radar.

Maybe just make some baby steps in the direction you're hoping for.

Anonymous 04/24/25 (Thu) 06:11:10 PM121591

>>121518
>I'm terrified that I'll be mocked for it
As another hyper-tomboy autist I can tell you that literally no one cares or thinks this. It would take someone with a personal vendetta against you to think this but if you don't have that kind of enemy then don't even worry about it. Granted, it may surprise others but I don't think they'll be saying all those awful things you mentioned, but really no one ever says anything.
I don't really wear anything girly but starting small does sound like a good idea. I think a long skirt would be the easiest to transition to from my experience.

But I understand where you're coming from (though in my case I just gave up entirely on girly stuff for a different reason), I struggled a lot during hs to make friends like every socially inept person does, and my family especially my mom started blaming it entirely on me being so tomboyish and the way I dressed when we didn't have to wear the uniform so it made me extremely insecure and self-conscious.
I then changed high schools and no it turns out the issue wasn't really the way I dress or my interests like I was made to believe, sometimes you just don't vibe with people and that's ok. I was able to find really good friends in that new high school and we'd have a good time hanging out and having fun and they'd dress way more feminine than I ever could and it didn't matter that I contrasted with them. One of them is my best friend to this day and she has the nicest family.

I do advice you to start making an effort even when you dress tomboyish in the way that you should think about dressing nicely. Try a different type of shirt that's not a graphic tee (not that those can't look nice but they're a bit too casual, I feel), look for some nice pants of different colors or fits and don't forget to get some stylish shoes that you like and go along with your other outfits. Experiment a little so you look a bit more interesting too. Dressing nicely, even if not super girly goes a long way. I also take good care of my long hair and that always brings me compliments. It's about doing what you can to look nice, not what you don't like to look nice imo.