sorry i just want to vent Anonymous 121576
i don't know what's happening to me lately, i have been feeling way more lonely than usual, normally, i'm a lonely person, i like to be in my room doing my own thing, i normally sit alone in lunch at uni, i have a very few friends, its normal to be alone for me, but lately i have been feeling a void growing in the pit of my stomach, its eating me from the inside out and i can't do anything about it, or i feel like so, have yall ever heard the song 'race' by alex g? that's how the pit of my heart sounds. Im having 2 weeks of vacation, so i'm in my house all day, i'm not doing much, just assignments from uni, playing LoL, BS1, sims4, eating, bathing, sometimes i call my online friends on discord and we play together, but most of the day, im just… there…
I'm sitting in my bed… doom scrolling… waking up late…
I do talk to people of my family, i live with my grandparents and my big sis, my sister works all day and my grandparents work too in their small business, so the house is always alone. I'm the only one here all day, and i don't have much to do, i just clean, eat, play.
I feel like my life is in pause, like i'm missing something, like i need to be somewhere important and i'm really late. Video Games don't fill the void anymore, every time im playing it feels so repetitive, i don't get distracted of my thoughts by playing, i can't write down how i feel because i don't actually feel anything anymore, im just so tired, but i can't sleep, i don't even sleep anymore, im just existing in slow mo, every time i try to relapse on SH i just can't, i have grown a coward, i just feel so sad and anxious because i feel like this is going to be how i'm going to live for the rest of my life and i can't do anything, i don't feel normal, i see other girls in my class, same age as me (17) looking so healthy, so pretty, so smart (cuz i'm also failing all of my classes), i just look at them and i get so upset, they look so mature and beautiful, they already look like young women, im stuck looking like a pre teenager due to my ED, i want to be like them, surrounded by a lot of friends, pretty, mature, smart, funny, i bet they never feel alone.
i want to stop feeling alone, i want to be normal like everyone else, i just feel like im fragile, but not like glass, like a bomb that could explode any second.
you don't need to give me advice if you don't have any, i just wanted to feel heard, and here i always find sisters that feel the same as me and i feel so safe.
Anonymous 121577
>>121576I don’t mean to be dismissive, but 17 is too young to be depressed. You have so much youth and potential. Even if you failed college and accomplished nothing with your life for half a decade, you’d still have plenty of time. If you are feeling alone, that just means your mind is telling your Ito make a better effort to make friends. Try to join other tables, even if they don’t work out. Say hi to people in your classes. Talk to cute moids your age. Don’t end up like me. Choose happiness. If you are happy, you’ll do better in school and feel prettier. Please don’t end up like me.
