/feels/ - Advice & Venting

I have never known love, so all marriages are super lovey dovey and idealistic from my warped perspective. Although if I had to guess, the reason they don’t work out is because they were founded on lust or desperation rather than love. Also people change. Sometimes you may mature and realize your partner is no good for you and you don’t have the will to make it work. Sometimes, they grow into a worse person and the relationship is unsustainable. True love is rarer than rubies, and sometimes you just aren’t fortunate enough or a good enough person to get it.

>>121601
Because the first stages of love literally wire you to ignore issues. Because over time things that weren’t an issue can become one. Because things like strokes can literally change a personality. I could go on, but point is people can’t actually predict the future.

>>121601
A lot of "couples" don't really love each other beyond some basic sexual attraction, they're just going through the motions that they think is expected in a relationship to satisfy their own egos. "Marriage" is just one of the motions they go through if they're older than 28. For a minority of people, marriage is a very real thing, but not for most people.

Your brain keeps changing and evolving as you get older. The younger you are, the faster you change. People are expected to marry young…

It's a recipe for disaster. You will change. He will change. You divorce if lucky. If unlucky you end up stuck hating each other in a loveless performative measure with cheating as your only personal outlet.

My dad cheats but will not divorce because he thinks it will be the social death of my mother and that is more cruel to her than being cheated on. This was true maybe like 30 years ago not right now. My mother stays because they own stuff together and dividing it is a waste of money. The marriage was over back in 2019-2020 but the illusion must continue.

>>121617
If you ever hear my mother talk about love , marriage and kids you will get the feeling that you are talking to an unmarried woman in her mid 20s waiting for the right man.

A lot of moids marry with an implicit desire to cheat. Sometimes, they do it because they're too unattractive for regular hookups. Sometimes, they genuinely believe that it's somehow okay when moids do it.

thats why my bf proposed to sign a contract upon marriage that will make him bankrupt if he cheats or mistreats me

Because modern marriage has no purpose beyond the personal satisfaction of a hedonist.
Since the hormonal high of the romance inevitably flattens out and coexisting with other people does not work that way, this implicitly reduces relationships into a disposable accessory of self-indulgence.

>>123248
And historical marriage was totally all about love and not social mobility…

>>121601
the people who marry are not the people who question things, the people who marry are the ones who blindly do what other people did before them, blindly assuming that the people before had valid reasons that still make sense to this day. they just do it because they believe in normality and marrying is normal.

the more i question the more i know this: normal people will suffer, they are unconscious. they don't think things through, they don't keep up with developments in culture, they don't re-evaluate after a change, they don't think for themselves, they want the shortcut so bad that they don't care where the shortcuts leads them towards.

if you look hard you can probably find a marriage that works, i haven't seen one that wasn't a good looking but deeply rotten miniature-version of the mindless imperialism that is the root of all evil where either one or both participants in were suffering and just hanging in because they were trying to be a good sport.

>>123264
no one gives a fuck about sane men. marry insane men and get what you want out of them

>>123265
based