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/feels/ - Advice & Venting

Talk about relationships of all kinds, ask for advice, or just vent
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when-take-pregnanc…

I am pregnant Anonymous 122619

I found out a week ago that I am pregnant.
I am married, have been for 2 months to my husband who I have been with for 3.5 years now.
I am scared.
Right now I am the sole breadwinner of the house and I don't even make that much money. Enough for bills but hardly enough for anything else and slowly have been draining my savings.
He doesn't work. He had a good paying job but left it to pursue school 6 months ago. And what he is in school for I honestly don't think he has a future in.
Other than the financial struggles, neither of us are ready to be parents.
I think I could handle being a Mom, but I do not want to be a Mom. I am not ready for a lifetime commitment yet. I wanted to enjoy being newleyweds longer.
He is not ready to be a Dad. Emotionally immature.
The reality is slowly dawning on me on how hard this will be for us and I am really distraught. We are broke and I am married to a man who literally cannot handle fatherhood. I am terrified.
At first I thought I would be excited for a baby but I am more scared, mostly because of ny husband being unprepared. I know he couldnt support us but I know one of us will have to stay home with baby all day.
I just dont know what to do.

Anonymous 122641

>>122619
You should have been careful in picking your moid, nona. First thing you should do is get him to work and earn money. He can do so with school or after quitting but you need him to earn. Figure out the money part first, and then the rest. If not, divorce him and demand alimony. He'll work then, but your kid will grow up without a father which would be sad.

Anonymous 122649

>>122619
> I am the sole breadwinner of the house
>He doesn't work.
>neither of us are ready to be parents.
>I do not want to be a Mom. I am not ready for a lifetime commitment yet. >He is not ready to be a Dad.
>I just dont know what to do.

Girl, it sounds like you know exactly what to do.
Pleasw don't wait. Being a single struggling parent is an absolute nightmare.

Anonymous 122657

>>122619
this isn't the answer you want to hear but you have to abort.

Anonymous 122661

>He had a good paying job but left it to pursue school 6 months ago
Why did you marry this retard?

Anonymous 122676

>>122619
Why don't you get an abortion?

Anonymous 122916

>>122641
if shes the sole breadwinner, she's going to be paying him alimony.

Anonymous 122931

Now is clearly not the time for a baby, you know what has to be done if the country you're in allows for it

Anonymous 122935

dont

Anonymous 122937

get the baby

Anonymous 122939

1662139448805767.j…

>>122619
Congratulations Nona!
It will be hard, but babies grow up in distinct stages, and it goes by too fast.
>he had a good paying job
>left to do school
This sounds like the sort of person who thinks about the future but is willing to jump into a little risk. Nothing pushes a man to greatness like family responsibility. Definitely talk to him about your worries though, and be specific.
Little infants are easy and exhausting; (I took care of my tiny nephew while my sister got surgery) it's just repetition and no sleep schedule.
Keep some other adults around to stave off post-partum, and you should be fine.
As for newly wed stuff, you'll just have to be more intentional about going out together once you have a toddler.
So excited for you!

Anonymous 122942

e9d.jpg

>>122939
>Nothing pushes a man to greatness like family responsibility.

Lmao

Anonymous 122947

>>122619
Abort that thang.

Anonymous 122948

>>122942
of a certain personality, I suppose

Anonymous 122949

35466-do-it-for-he…


Anonymous 122953

korra-sad.png

>>122619
Abort and try again in a few years. My was in similar situations at 18, but she was from a religious background so giving up her dreams and becoming a housewife was pretty much her only choice…she resented all of us. My siblings, my father, her own parents…just nothing but bitterness and spite in her heart for the time she lost, and it reflected in our childhoods. My older brother is locked up, sister OD'd in a parking lot a few years ago, and I'm a neet who can't hold a job for more than a few months at a time and starting to develop agoraphobia from being terminally online. This is your future nona.

Anonymous 122974

Hey. It will be ok. The terror of life does not stop when one is a mother. I've got two kids, one is only 3 months old. I thought I would die having a second child because my first was so wilful and crazy but she has defied every expectation in a most lovely way.

The truth is you will never feel "ready" even after you have kids. You grow woth them. Every age, stage, shoot every day is different. And men generally buck the f×ck up when they have children (i know personally, my husband is kind of a manchild, lol).

Don't let the terror win. You are strong, and the life within you wants to live. Give it a chance. Give yourself a chance, give your husband a chance. Motherhood is HARD and sometimes you have to scream into a pillow but it will mold and shape you into a different, stronger, more capable, more kind and loving person than you ever would have imagined. I dont know you, but I believe in you.

Anonymous 122986

Nona you need to realize something. The same way you now have to face consequences because you married a retard who was still trying to "find himself", if you abort behind his back you can (and should) kiss that relationship goodbye.
It's not worth living with the lies, the fear and most importantly the guilt it will drive you mad. Keep them both or be ready to lose them both and reroll again later.

+ nobody ever feels ready to become a parent

>>122641
I second this
he has to take back his job if he has to beg them on his knees to take him back.

Anonymous 122994

either abort now, make him go back to his job, or divorce(and abort)

Anonymous 122997

>>122619
Abort now.
And make him go to jail for forcibly impregnating you.

Anonymous 123002

Please abort. Don't give this thing a shitty life with unstable parents.


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