/feels/ - Advice & Venting

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Anonymous 06/26/25 (Thu) 08:05:29 AM123022

how do u be a better person and develop empathy no joke. without speaking to anyone except my boyfriend ever (no glue no borax) i treated him so horrible i just want to give him everything he deserves hes helped me so much in life hes saved me but i keep lashing out at him and blaming him because everything feels so wrong in my head and idk what to do he said im a narcissist but idk how to fix that therapy isnt an option because every single time ive gone ive been completely enabled and it was horrible, im not conscious at all of my bad traits either i grew up isolated as fuck im too socially retarded to even realize doesssanyone else get that what do we do nonaz

Anonymous 06/26/25 (Thu) 08:14:18 AM123023

>>123022

How old are you nona? I'm an ex grippy sock and have healed in my relationship with my husband. Its not about being perfect but acknowledging when you're wrong without being told. That's the first part to doing better. How you doin?

Anonymous 06/26/25 (Thu) 08:15:52 AM123024

well you are on the right path if you're worrying about him.
what are you blaming and lashing out at him for

this is more so lack of emotional control than a lack of empathy, so maybe you need to learn to calm yourself down first. it wouldn't be much better if you started debasing yourself every time he gets sad

Anonymous 06/26/25 (Thu) 11:07:34 AM123032

>>123024

a lot of shit like my entire life situation i was huge hikkineet fuck up for a few years so i missed out on a lot of shit but iv been getting better thanks to him so i think it will be okay. and insecure how i look too and i always blame it on him that i feel like that but he is kind of the reason i hate how i look so much in the firs tplace but idk

Anonymous 06/26/25 (Thu) 11:34:08 AM123034

>>123032
i don't have a lot of advice for you nona, sorry. i know you can't just control emotions that bad when they do happen.

however, you can control how you express them and you need to pick a way to express them that's as least destructive as possible. you can't just blame things on people like that and make them that responsible for your emotions. especially since he has been helping you. (of course he may be manipulating you in some ways but that's unclear from your posts)

Anonymous 06/26/25 (Thu) 12:39:48 PM123036

>>123032
>but he is kind of the reason i hate how i look so much in the firs tplace but idk
how so?
blaming your bf isnt a bad thing if its reasonable, logical and deserved. you just need to distinguish between the two.
toxic people cant handle criticism and have no sense of responsibility, even if theyre objectively in the wrong.