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/feels/ - Advice & Venting

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GID + being WlW Anonymous 123054

I'm strugglin with my gender identity so much. It's eating me alive. On top of that, I am becoming increasingly convinced that I am WlW. I used to think that I was bi because I feel attracted to some men in animanga and I thought eventually I would meet someone like that irl but I think it's not gonna happen…I want to be with a woman, but I am also not really interested in the dynamic that a WlW relationship provides. I want to take test and transition so bad but I am rather short and my hair is already very thin and I would just look grotesque.
I think that, at this point, even people that know me irl can feel something isn't quite right beyond just being bi. I get the impression that new women I meet can sort of tell that I am attracted to them but am hiding it. When I am in a good mood, I think that I could handle a relationship with a moid, especially if his libido was low and we'd never have sex, but just having to perform femininity for them and having to be "the little spoon" makes me hate myself, I do not think I could be in a relationship like that without unaliving myself. But I want to have kids and I kinda think that having a bf is the closest I could come to living as a man…
I'd really appreciate it if I could talk with a nona here a bit more about this, I am too afraid of word going around to tell anyone irl. I will go to a therapist/psychologist at some point, but I can't for at least the next several months as I in the process of moving and my housing changes often.

Anonymous 123055

my advice: get off the internet

Anonymous 123056

I’m sorry, nona! My girlfriend and I have both gone through similar things. I’m bisexual but my girlfriend through dating me discovered she was a lesbian. Her justifications for her previous identity of bisexuality were similar to yours; “I like men from animanga”, “I like men i just wouldn’t want to have sex with them or be feminine for them”, etc, etc… I think you may just want to look into lesbianism. It’s hard to come to terms with it since so much of our role as women in society is centered around men, we are conditioned from birth to center them. As for children: sperm donation and adoption exists. It’s not traditional, but it’s what I am planning to do with my girlfriend to be wife. My heart goes out to you, nona.

Anonymous 123057

>>123055
I second this, also you might be just be a gender nonconforming lesbian.

Anonymous 123058

24796784_202921694…

>>123056
Thank you nona, you are very kind. I have thought of just trying to be a lesbian, and I would definitely prefer it over just being with a man, however, I still think I would feel uncomfortable. You are still viewed as a woman, and your partner is attracted to your (female) body. I know a lot of women struggle with their womanhood but still choose to live as cis, but I truly feel uncomfortable with my identity beyond just presenting more masc or more fem. I am not even particularly pressured by my environment into being feminine and am fairly non-conforming already, but I just cannot shake this feeling of profound discomfort with being female. I was never bullied or abused in any way either so I do not know why I would feel this way either. Even sexually with women I am a little frustrated that I cannot do some things that a man could.
And on the flipside, I once met a guy who was a lot like me, both physically and mentally and I was actually genuinely interested in him, I think because it was so easy to see myself in him and project my feelings onto him, it's when I felt closest to actually being a man, it didn't work out in the end but if I men another guy like that and if he wasn't hypersexual I think I would actually prefer that over being with any woman.

Anonymous 123059

>>123054
have you ever considered that struggle and dispair could be the necessary prerequisits for identity? they might be the price of admission.

question the concept of identity, don't just pick one, ask yourself what you are signing up for by picking any.

to know the effects the process of identification has on a person, one way is to try not having one.

Anonymous 123069

>“I like men from animanga”
anime characters have little to nothing to do with real life, so projecting how you feel about them onto real people is pointless tbh.

>>123058
>but I just cannot shake this feeling of profound discomfort with being female.
No shit it isn't comfortable when society is always saying how you have to sissify yourself and lose your dignity because uhhh that's the way nature intended or something. But that's all bullshit and a meme, at least I stopped feeling that way when I experienced female figures that are confident and not constantly subservient.

>And on the flipside, I once met a guy who was a lot like me, both physically and mentally and I was actually genuinely interested in him, I think because it was so easy to see myself in him and project my feelings onto him, it's when I felt closest to actually being a man, it didn't work out in the end but if I men another guy like that and if he wasn't hypersexual I think I would actually prefer that over being with any woman.
I don't think that's impossible, fairly plausible actually because there's a lot of socially nonconforming moids, especially among weebs and role-reversal communities. On the flipside these men tend to be socially and emotionally immature since there's a reason they don't conform to society.

Anonymous 123071

>>123069
>On the flipside these men tend to be socially and emotionally immature since there's a reason they don't conform to society.

you think there could be other explanations for not wanting to conform to society besides being a child?

Anonymous 123073

>>123071
perhaps.


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