how do i get over mi highschool crush? Anonymous 124307
you all can make fun of me and be mean because i think i deserve it tbh.
met this guy when i was 15 TEN years ago. we were in the same class and we sat next to each other. we were really different in the sense that he was pretty cool and chill, he had a lot of friends and stuff and i was more of a reserved otaku.. but he was super kind to me (and anyone really) so i developed a crush on him.
at one point after we graduate he was really persistent on hanging out, go to places i posted i wanted to go and stuff like that but i always said no because i was scared of what he would think about me physically wise (we didn't saw each other for like a year for college reasons) so we grew kind of distant until we stopped talking after he got into whats now his long term relationship.
and i can't stop being kind of obsessed with him. i compare every guy to him because he's kind, good looking, hard working, likes animals, loves his mom and sister, apparently is against the consumption of porn and all that, really a great guy.
when i tried to get over this literal obsession with him he sent me a dm through instagram out of nowhere, APOLOGIZING because he suddenly remembered that i had been a really good friend to him during school and that he was sorry if he ever was too annoying to me during that period (he never was, he was the sweetest. texted me late when i had depressive episodes, hugged me when my cat died, tried to include me in everything, asked about my interest, listened to me and tried to introduce me to his while using mine as a comparative so it wouldn't be boring to me, etc.) and i relapsed. i know he wasn't trying anything with that message because i answered that i never thought about him as the most annoying out of our friend group and that i was thankful too and we didn't talk anymore after that.
i don't know what to do to get over the fact that im stuck in that crush from ten years ago, that i see everything he post and get bitter when is related to his girlfriend. i need to get over this and meeting new males isn't helping because i keep comparing and settling this guy as the standard.
what do i do? and sorry if there's any typos, this is not my first language.
Anonymous 124323
i've lived through something similar.
here is how i would do it now after dealing with it stupidly.
the answer to this is consciousness. you have to be conscious of the behavior that is disabling you.
notice when you think of him. just notice at first. "ah there it is again" because since this is an habit, it will happen without you wanting it to.
then when you think of him, you have to remember that when you think of him that you go down the rabbit hole and think of how awesome he is and that might make you sad or make other men look like losers to you that you don't even give a chance. you have to know in advance that this will happen again when you think of him so be conscious of it, wait for it to happen and interrupt it until it is gone so you can have your life back.
>oh no not today
when you remember all that next time you notice the habit is beginning again, you have the choice not to go down that road. that choice is your way out of the habit.
Anonymous 124392
>>124323came checking if there was any answer to this. thanks nona ill try that !!
