/feels/ - Advice & Venting

i broke up with my gf after going through a mental health thing
we are back together but she told me she deleted messages for storage
they take up like 30gbs (crazy but they actually do)
i checked her deleted messages and it was like 800 to her one fellow gay friend
but they are fat
she lied when i asked her about it
she read my journal and later dismissed the idea that they were ever together or cheating or whatever
she also told me she was shit talking me and that's why she deleted it (believable trust)
how do i approach this? i blew my lead when she read my journal
>also did she read it to see if i believed her?
she was upset because i was mean in it, and i didn't apologize
later she was apologetic
how do i ask her about the messages? should i?