/feels/ - Advice & Venting

>spend the rest of my life spending my NEETbux on Hello Kitty Island Adventure furniture, watching my mom's Gilmore Girls DVD's and cryibg?
I think this is lowkey what led to the current dating situation. Most people are socially stunted and everyone thinks they have autism because they spend too much time gaming or whatever. It's not a judgement against you nona, of course, but I think the best thing you can do is try to socialize with people anyway. Not in the sense like overlook everyone's personal faults and date them anyway, but in the sense that you need to get curious about people and become more discerning for what you need and who can give you that. Permanently backing off into a fantasy world is dangerous and less healthy.

I went the hikki route, fun in its way but gets very anxious around 30

A male relative of me had sex with many girls on Tinder but all his relationships resulted in nothing and now he's single agaaaain and hates women. He himself is as superficial and bland as the girls he goes after and he did make an Instagram and do looksmaxxed and worked out really hard to impress them.
tl;dr I think it has more to do with the awful dating apps by Match Group than with the genders themselves.
And people who aren't stupid and shallow are very rare in general. It's like a few people in a hundred. It really makes me suffer.

>>125006
I think that there's more who aren't shallow, but the problem is how isolated everyone is in their lives. People are way more curt and less trusting nowadays. It makes it harder to get past the fronts people put on.

I've been approached by similar boys. Unfortunately, while a lot of guys have been doing pickup artist nonsense, a lot of decent polite men have absorbed the "asking a woman out = sexual harassment" thing.

Sooooo if the men aren't doing it anymore- it's up to you. YOU be the one to approach and ask them out. Obviously don't be a creep. Just a "Hey, you seem pretty cool, want to hang out some time?"

>>125007
>I think that there's more who aren't shallow
No, they like drinking or drugs, eating in restaurants, Netflix, travel, casual sex etc. and see relationships as a mere exchange of goods and services.
>but the problem is how isolated everyone is in their lives.
Yes, I haven't even met any people irl since I quit school. I don't know how too. Even in school I didn't know how to talk to them since we shared nothing.
>People are way more curt
Yes
>and less trusting nowadays.
No, they are too trusting in general. Maybe it's their judgement on who to trust that's off.
>It makes it harder to get past the fronts people put on.
Yes

Thank you everyone for the replies!

>>125002
>Permanently backing off into a fantasy world is dangerous and less healthy
Ouch you got me, maybe more of my personality came through in my post than I thought?

without going too too deep into my story, I got rejected by friend groups a few times when I was smol and that hurt a lot, and after that I spent a long time living in my own head and made up friends in there who love me the way I'd like to be loved
and I feel like doing that for such a long time has made it a bit harder for me to do things other people seem to do a lot more easily, like accepting real people with their flaws and just enjoying being in other people's company even if they're not my best best bosom friends, and um, find people around me more interesting than the scenarios and romances I can make happen in my own world from the comfort of sweet solitude

>>125003
Me too sorta? Not for quite that long though
Basically for a couple years after high school I had a job but one where I didn't have to talk to anybody and I spent most of my free time playing vidya or reading books and getting my social interaction on dumblr, until one day I decided i was going to try one more time to find out if love and friendship were things I could have, and went to uni

I'm doing a lot better now and I've made some friends I really like at uni, and now I'm a bit less of a walking disaster than I was a few years ago. Building social confidence is so hard though
I'm really slow with jokes and I think I'm too serious and I'm that friend who doesn't really say much and just kind of smiles, but some people seem to kind of like having me around anyway?

>>125006
>>125007
I feel like there are a lot of people who really are just genuinely shallow, but then there are also people who are very very insecure and they try to hide their fear of showing people the real them by putting on a really shallow persona?

>>125009
>a lot of decent polite men have absorbed the "asking a woman out = sexual harassment" thing.
I know, trust me. There's a cute one in my life who's tall and kinda shy and likes music and art and actually has a mind and is just you know hot, but I just feel he's never going to ask me out for that reason. It's sad
>YOU be the one to approach and ask them out.
I know… I know… but…
>Obviously don't be a creep.
And there it is… you ask too much of me…

>>125012
>Ouch you got me, maybe more of my personality came through in my post than I thought?
Many of us are guilty of this, I know I sure was.

>without going too too deep into my story, I got rejected by friend groups a few times when I was smol and that hurt a lot, and after that I spent a long time living in my own head and made up friends in there who love me the way I'd like to be loved
Yeah, that would mess with you. In my case I used to be unable to comprehend most normal human interactions because my home kinda lacked any, so I avoided normal people and either interacted only with internet schizos or engaged in escapism. I never learned what it's like to be accepted by anyone other than the insane people who are open-minded towards anything abnormal, and that's why I'm on imageboards.
That created a lot of suffering because much of life seemed to exist in a completely different plane from me. If you don't feel like you're missing out on much I wouldn't worry nona, but I don't want you to fall behind like I did.

>>125000
Why in the hell would you bother ? As someone who went 4b I think you're criminally insane

Imagine life without men, with just creativity and gardening. Why people bother outside of these things shocks me. You have the freedom to do whatever you want and you use that time thinking about men? Yeah I've seen the dating scene in 2025 for youngins it's the dreariest shit since WWII.

So why?? Are you retarded grilfren ?

Life without men is a carnival, i know from experience. Just how much are you doing this for peer approval ?

>>125002
As someone on the normal social spectrum you're deluded. You're intentionally lying to her and manipulating her. Men and dating don't improve just because you can socialize, in fact it gets worse. A lot of "normie" women are just heavily brainwashed to put up with male tripe.

They go out, they appear normal, and then they come home live as bangmaid, enabler, rape victim

>>125000
>instagram account
>tattoos
>looksmaxx
>influencer
>sportsball
they do it because all their friends do it but they don't actually enjoy it since it leads to this

>>125023
vanilla chatgpt has such op safety filters i don't think it would touch these prompts, he probably either found or made a custom bot that would talk to him about suicide
i honestly think that right now people who mainly use normie socials have it worse than people who post on chans and use dorky sites like tumblr and pottermore and neopets, because the latter are less exposed to these insane trends and accompanying social pressures that seem like they'd drive anyone to the verge of something drastic

>>125019
nta but it depends on the culture you live in, most western normie women are not bangmaids,A lot of my friends, for example, have actually complained about guys only wanting to split the bill instead of offering to treat them to dinner.

I’d say the OP is probably still quite young, and her experiences will naturally reflect that. Things can feel even harder right now because Gen Z dating culture tends to be pretty rough. That said, if she focuses on finding people who genuinely want a connection that goes beyond physical attraction or just sharing memes online, she’ll have a much better experience.

>>125019
Deluded, but intentionally manipulating? Okay.

>>125027
>That said, if she focuses on finding people who genuinely want a connection that goes beyond physical attraction or just sharing memes online, she’ll have a much better experience.
How does an introvert like me go about that?

>>125032
Deluded that socializing improves dating life or erases the culture we currently live in

It is mindless manipulation yes! He's not trying very hard

>>125027
Projecting on and generalizing women, the moid strikes again

Op is describing the USA, not Iran moido. I don't pretend to live in Guam.

>>125035
Don't you people ever get tired of sperging out about retarded shit? That's not really what "normie spectrum" people do. Nona didn't even say OP needs to date males, just that she shouldn't escape into videogames if she wants to be with people.

>>125037
Discussing modern dating is sperging about retarded shit now ? How did we get here so fast? kek

Could a moid be involved :p

>>125036
>moid
>generalizing
>after she shitted on nona for simply trying to socialize with people without thinking the gender wars shit
kek sorry not every woman goes throu life with your sad mentality.
And there was no context about being in the USA, the usa is not the entire world.
Also how the fuck I generalized? by saying I talk with women who are my friends and they complain about the men in their lives being unchivalrous.
Right

>>125040
Don't pay attention to them, they admitted on /b/ they're acting like a retard to blow steam by being annoying. They've accused like 3 posters so far of being moids lmao.

>>125038
it's some nona upset you want to improve instead of being miserable. Her bitter first reply clearly shows it.

>>125038
What is modern dating vs old fashioned dating

>>125044
>>125044
Old fashioned dating was not having people tainted by incel culture online. And they went outside. That's mostly it really.

>>125042
>>125041
>>125040
>>125040
Socializing with other women totally understandable ! But you're all cuckoo if you think being sociable and around people changes moid behavior. Frat boys, church boys, gym bros, computer nerds… I know from experience socializing it's more of the same, thinly veiled misogyny. Yes I live in a western society!

Call me whatever you want, but don't get her hopes up that it's not going to be digging through a massive barrel of crap thanks to the culture we live in.

>>125053
>Call me whatever you want
You are not on any normal spectrum and don't have any authority on the topic. If you're a paranoid cunt (that loves to shit on everyone because it "feels good" lol) to everyone on here I shudder to think what you're like IRL. Now fuck off and lurk for 12 years before posting.

>>125059
>>125059
Asking you to be honest about men in all walks of life, is not instigating ww3, but keep going nuclear over it, it's really convincing