/feels/ - First breakup

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First breakup Anonymous 09/23/25 (Tue) 05:46:25 PM125541

My boyfriend and I were together for two years - when we started dating I was 18 and he was 23. He was my first kiss and he took my virginity. Not that it really matters, I guess the only significance is that this was my first relationship. He really really cared about me. He told me he thought he would never meet someone who he could marry and have kids with, and that he changed his mind when he met me. And I ruined everything. ;_; He sent me an email yesterday telling me to accept that he will never say "I love you" to me again… I don't know what to do. This is awful. I miss him so much, he was my only friend. I made a lot of the time we spent together suck really bad because I’m always sad or anxious about something but I still loved being around him. He is so smart and so warm, he makes friends everywhere he goes. I miss him so much. Do you think if I work on my issues he will give me one last chance? Please let me know if you need more info, any reassurance would bring me so much comfort. I don't want to be with anyone else. Sorry for the annoying post.

Anonymous 09/23/25 (Tue) 07:25:30 PM125542

>>125541
What are your issues? I’m not liking how he blames you for his negative view of marriage and relationships. Seems unfair to say to tou even if you really have changed it. What do you both think have you done that warrants such a comment? Also your age gap may not seem like like it makes a difference but it really does. And I say this as a woman who has always and still prefers older men myself.

Anonymous 09/24/25 (Wed) 06:03:22 AM125549

>>125542
Well, he said he changed his mind when he met me, as in he liked me enough that he decided we could have a family together… I caused him to change his mind again by being kind of mental. That’s what said, at least. The other day he told me that I am too fragile and "not wife or mother material." I was often asking him what I could do better, or if he was happy with me, and I don’t really have friends any more so I became clingy. Also I am a high school dropout. ;_; I’ve been working on my GED for a while but I find it so hard to motivate myself to do anything most of the time. I am really terrible. I just started taking ssris again, and I am going to try my very very best to finish school, and then maybe I can go to college… And redeem myself? He was pretty mean to me last week, I don’t think I was ever that mean to him, but I wasn’t a good girlfriend. The thing is, I asked him if he was happy with me many times and he always said I was the best girlfriend he’d ever had… I wish he had told me he didn’t love me anymore, I seriously would have gotten my act together. I really hope he’s just angry and that maybe in a few months he will reach out. This is the weirdest experience ever, I had no idea that breakups feel like this.
>Also your age gap may not seem like like it makes a difference but it really does.
Most of the time he’s super silly, but this week I really felt it. I feel like I am speaking to someone much more mature than me. He never spoke to me that way when we were together… He was always goofing around. I hate it, it feels awful. He was so cold when I saw him in person.
Thank you for your reply, anon. <3 I’m really sorry for bombarding you with all of this. It’s nice to get my thoughts out, and if I don’t put them here I might try to message him again.