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/feels/ - Advice & Venting

Talk about relationships of all kinds, ask for advice, or just vent
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__hijiri_ageha_and…

Anonymous 125858

How do you handle seeing men for who they really are, not the idealized “prince charming” version we grew up imagining in anime?

Everywhere I look, I see cheaters, manipulators, narcissists, deadbeats, porn addicts, and abusers… and it feels like they’re not the exception, but the rule. Men are always more likely to leave then women when their spouse and children get ill or born sick. Men are always more likely to cheat and have side bitches. They don’t listen, they only make repeated attempts to make it sound like they know more than you about everything.

There's no care, no love, no empathy, no compassion, no understanding. They don't care if we feel safe or not. Men only want women for sex and the moment they get it, they move on.

Anonymous 125859

my dad was borderline psychopathic so that didn't surprise me tbh. I had a harder time accepting people generally aren't hostile or even that manipulative really

Anonymous 125872

>>125858
>How do you handle seeing men
I barely look at them anymore. The few times I've met worthwhile ones (and immediately developed a crush tbh), they ended up dating my friends over me anyway. I've given up. My 2D husbando gives me more happy feelings than an irl crush and all that without all the potential baggage and rejection. I know it sounds pathetic, but idc, I do what makes me happy and, unlike shitty entitled moids, I don't blame my crushes for not kissing my feet (I'll admit my envy but I want them to be happy anyway actually) nor am I an incel mankiller about it.

Anonymous 125874

you can do this anona

Anonymous 125877

>>125858
>Men only want women for sex and the moment they get it, they move on.
This is why good men will wait until marriage.

Anonymous 125880

>>125877
I think having sex before marriage is fine for anyone.
Especially for women, so they know what to compare it to but also for men so they don't get the "What if I'll never experience how amazing sex will be with other kinds of women, I can surely get away with cheating one time" brainworms.
If a man has sex with any woman and doesn't want to settle down after having had sex, he probably won't want marriage anyway. If a man actually does wants to settle down and marry after having had sex before, I'd assume it makes him less likely to cheat. Unless he has a history of cheating ofc. I guess one could ask his ex for a review lol. Jk.

Anonymous 125892

>>125880
The actual observed behavior is the opposite of what you described. Couples who only had sex with their spouse have a very small chance of divorce. Couples who had body count >5 were very likely to divorce.

Anonymous 125898

>>125892
I'm not sure if divorce rates alone are the best indicator for happiness, some people stay in really miserable marriages. I wish my parents had divorced way sooner and one of my friends' parents should really get a divorce as well. But they also had huge age gaps and our mum's got pregnant as teens, so I think those marriages were doomed from the start anyway.
>Couples who had body count >5 were very likely to divorce.
Makes sense tbh. I personally don't think having some sex before marriage is a big deal but more than 5 different people? I know a guy who showed off all his ex gfs, as if proud to be getting around. He was apparently pretty good at sex according to a friend, but she was predictably just another name on his list.
>The actual observed behavior is the opposite of what you described
…Yeah, I think you're right, I just assumed things based on my own predictions and some of the people around me. There are exceptions to any statistics, but I looked it up and…
Yeah, statistically, people do seem to be happier in marriages where both partners have a lower body count or just no sex with anyone but their spouse. So, I take back what I said.
I guess people should wait before marriage after all.
https://pmc.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/articles/PMC10989935/
Given that it says that there are no gender differences, I guess that does include weeding out promiscuous men…
I'd also add that people shouldn't only get married for the purpose of sex (like someone only doing it to lose their virginity) and should divorce if things take an abusive turn, even if they'll have much worse luck with getting happily married after a divorce like that… My mum managed that last part though. But in a perfect world, she wouldn't have done it with a pedo moid twice her age at 15 in the first place an waited until she found someone worthwhile to marry and have kids with, like, I really wish she'd gotten it right the first time…
One of my friends definitely had partners before her marriage, but they didn't last and she's really happy with her current husband. They've been together for years and have a kid and stuff. I really hope her happiness will last, they're doing so well rn…

Anonymous 125911

>>125892
That’s because the only couples who have only slept with each other are the crazy tradcath ones where the woman is kept prisoner and not allowed to file for divorce.

Anonymous 125917

>>125892
it's a pretty nuanced topic. high IQ mentally well people generally stay virgins for longer on average, but at the same time like the other nona said no premarital sex marriages are usually associated with cultish environments that will coerce you to stay with some pedophile to keep up the appearances.
also these stats generally show lifetime sex and divorce rates, of course people with 0 partners wouldn't have the opportunity to have divorced before. but even sluts have 0 partners at some point, you know.

Anonymous 126006

nine-inch-nails.jp…

>>125858
I just know them to be girls.
They simply aren't men, by definition.
There is nothing adult about them; there is nothing male about them.
I consider them all to be female-gendered and feminine.

Being male-sexed never made them men. Never made them male. Never made them masculine.

God is one of only two men to ever exist.
And those two men are nothing like those male-sexed females, that you posted about, who are evil, and nothing more.

Anonymous 126007

>>125858
To be fair, this is precisely what females are like, too.

Not that I relate to being that way, personally.

Anonymous 126011

>>126006
Masculinity is toxic, remember?

Anonymous 126014

>>126011
I don't agree. Femininity is sooner.
Everyone is feminine, and not at all masculine, except for two people, ever.
Male-sexed claiming masculinity when they only have experience with femininity, is an issue.
Male-sexed never actually know what masculinity is. They are never right about masculinity. They are also never masculine. All of them, ever, across all organisms ever. All male-sexed organisms to ever exist at all have all been only feminine, and never knew a thing about masculinity. They have all only been perfectly non-masculine.

False masculinity is toxic, yes; it's toxic femininity.

Just something I've been studying.

Anonymous 126133

i breakdown over it like 4 times a week its genuinely doompilling

Anonymous 126148

>>126006
Because you're a degenerate here to trashtalks women? Masculinity by itself breaks down everything in its path and leaves destruction behind. Not much else

Anonymous 126149

>>126014
Just some bs you picked up in Pakistan

Anonymous 126156

The minute you detect he’s just in it for sex you switch to being in it for resources.

Then find yourself a richer foul minded guy to marry because there’s no point being with a poor foul minded guy.

Anonymous 126172

>>125858
OP, i would like to inform you that this is not a unique trait of men, this is a trait of all human beings. Your mind will delude you into believing that there is such things as "pure" humans or that some people are good or better than others, but that is not the case. YOU AND ME are both horrible people depending on who asks. YOU AND ME are both great people depending on who asks. You seem to understand the concept that every person who you see is horrible, however you're blinded by your own personal bias as YOU see women as yourself, your friends, your mother etc, and the only POV you have of men is from the POV of a woman, which raises the point that the same could be said about women from the POV of men.
>reddit space
The message i'm trying to get across is that you shouldn't group all your hatred onto one group of people. That causes constant internal seethe that will just make you miserable and such.
You should understand that most people are horrible, and that ignorance is bliss. Choose to ignore these things, while staying cautious thoughbeit.



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