>>125902>he doesn't want me to get an education or work, and I haven't had the chance to go outside or see doctors because he doesn't like itKill him.
>my boyfriend is a drug addictIf he blames his bad behaviour on any drugs he takes, he's still responsible for his bad behaviour, don't forget.
>he doesn't want me to get an education or workWhy? There could not be a flag redder than this. This is third world woman slavery level of controlling abuse.
>I can't see the doctorYou know, if you kill him, it's basically self-defence. Not just because of this particular red flag, but it's quite a glaring one, innit?
>he doesn't like itWhy? Because he doesn't like you seeing other people who could remind you that there's a whole world out there where you could be free and away from him? Are you literally his prisoner?
>I think I've only left the house about 7 times during the pregnancy. If I threaten to leave, he threatensYeah, he's definitely keeping you prisoner. Trying to brainwash you that this is normal and that if he can't keep you confined and submissive, he'll literally die, that's normal for a certain type of abuser. He's full of shit, he won't kill himself and if he does, is that so bad…?
>he threatens suicideUnfortunately, he likely won't do it himself. My dad was like this too, always threatening to kill himself and that fucker never did, despite all the times he cut himself (shallow cuts) and took various drugs (also vodka, but also more illegal drugs and weed). When I was living with him and brainwashed by living with him for more than 15 years (you can't help having empathy for someone you live with for this long, especially if your safety depends on their mood, it's instinctual to feel like you need to care for them like a servant) I was so worried about him, like the so goodhearted teenager I was. But no, he did not kill himself, even decades later. If he had, I'd have gotten through that though. You and your babys safety are 1000x more important than your abusers fragile psyche and also his psyche is neither your fault nor even your responsibility! You are NOT responsible for this grown ass man!!
>but I feel so bad for himYeah, he's probably dealing with some heavy shit. My dad was too, he was literally raped as a child, abused by his mum, treated like garbage by the system… And guess where he took all that pain and anger out? On his family. Yep. Just because he is hurting doesn't mean he gets to use you as his punching bag. My mum was severely traumatised too, but ulike him, she always took responsibility for her won actions, didn't blame it on unrelated people and actually found help for herself. I was also traumatised and I hurt myself, nobody else. Abusers don't abuse because they have to, it makes them feel good and safe. I bet your boyfriend feels very reassured that you don't leave the house to get any ideas about freedom and actually being respected as a person instead of being treated like a sub-human for being apregnant woman with actual feelings that aren't just about him… You deserve much, much better and you're definitely a better person than however this asshole makes you feel. ven if you love and respect him and even if he loves you too.. If he doesn't respect you, that's just… that's gotta hurt… And it's also very unsafe, he's clearly unhinged… Like, I'm honestly scared for you over here…
>I can't leave the catCan't you take the cat with you? Or give it to a shelter or sth… Does your boyfriend (you're not even married? why does he act like he owns you??) have any history of mistreating your cat too? My dad only complained about the cat but even after I left, he cared for it properly.
Maybe that's too high of a bar for your POS abusive bf.
…
Sorry, I got a bit riled up there. I don't actually recommend murder if you have other options. I mean, if you have no other options, that would be the only way, but maybe you can find a way to get away without going that far…? Do you have any friends? Well, probably not many, he probably made you cut them off if you had any, it's abuser 101 to make sure the people they're emotionally leeching off of feel like they can't reach out to anyone. I hope you can find some way to get away from him as soon as possible, hopefully before the baby is there for him to try to use as a pawn too…
Leaving is gonna be so hard, like, it's a lot, lot more difficult to leave an abusive relationship than it is to leave a healthy one. But you deserve better…
Definitely look up resources for people in abusive relationships, like, make a safety plan and everything just in case, I hope you know where to find women's shelters in your country…
And delete your browser history and cookies or use incognito mode after visiting help websites like these
https://www.marchofdimes.org/find-support/topics/pregnancy/abuse-during-pregnancyIf your boyfriend finds that you even just seem like you might be considering to leave, he's probably gonna lose it or sth, it's probably dangerous to reveal any plans to him… Like, stay safe and get away ASAP!!
Or, well, I know it's hard, but at least look into ways you can get away, you should seriously, seriously consider it and make preparations for it…
