/feels/ - Advice & Venting

get jaw surgery

>>128428
Thats not gonna fix one of my eyes being like an inch higher than the other. I just want to be allowed to live with the face I was born with

Hey I definitely understand how you feel,I'm a very masculine looking woman who powerlifts and takes gear so I'm definitely not the norm of what would be considered beautiful. Hair everywhere including face which I shave. I got abused and kicked out of a female only discord server for being a trans woman (I'm not I just have a hormonal condition on top of taking steroids ) point is you're not alone,and if you ever need someone to vent and talk to I'm here to listen. Lmk if you have a discord or something

>>128434
dental work can fix that

>>128444
I thought dentists were for teeth

>>128447
dental work can't fix that ignore them

i feel you. i had a meltdown yesterday over taking my passport photo; every single one revealed what i truly am, because i couldn't fool the camera using coy angles. i've never been the sort to photograph myself anyway, but the reminder that a selfie provides allows the truth to lunge from the depths all over again. a literal branding mark of NOTHING ELSE MATTERS. i have an asymmetrical face and there's a dormant, repulsive anger stewing in me about the fact that nothing i can afford will fix it. i don't truly care about being ugly because most of its benefits are lost on my lack of desire, but every time i cry about the issue i'm forced to confront the possibility that i actually am bothered. after-all, i won't get a great job looking like this, unless i miraculously acquire a mind capable of carrying me out of my mediocrity. and if there's anything i do want, it's to spend my time helping people - yet the most satisfying way to be helped is to be loved by something that reality concretely validates as precious and safe. but i do know that care and protection is worth more than appearances, and that i can take care of people in a way that matters without them ever truly appreciating it.
i also relate with the entire not being believed when i say i'm ugly thing - the shallow personal urges of people to exclusively value beauty and thus insist that we have to fight the truth or else be unlovable is so endlessly tiring. "The worst part about being lied to is knowing you weren't worth the truth". i can't even rant without being selfish to my poor mom, because insulting myself in front of her is a heart-breaking insult to her work and love. but i really am busted. and not to mention that people want proof online or else i'm an eternal larper, nevermind that i've gotten a massive photo combination of a bunch of so-called 'incels' before and saw their sickening larp blasted on a big jpg. but oh no, how dare a woman say that she also suffers because of lookism.

>>128448
in some cases, a face is raised or angled poorly by dental issues and the problem can at least be eased with redirecting bite-force, changing tongue posture and re-angling teeth so everything sits better. i don't know how much of this claim is just cover-up work versus actual change though, since i'm not a professional and i've stopped caring about tricks sold by people that aren't even ugly. but it's worth looking into the whole dentist thing, because our jaws and bone development are arguably two of the most important matters for appearance. like for example: our teeth show in our smiles - how they sit, how they show through our lips, gums - and smiles can literally change how people treat you. it can cause a ripple affect throughout the entire face, and jaw tension changes our expressions.

>>128451
fixing occlusion only impacts facial development when you're very young unfortunately.

after that it's jaw surgery, which is unfortunately limited to the area below the nose (unless severe malformation)

>say you're pretty
>um no you're not you conceited bitch
>say you're ugly
>um no i bet you're not
you can't win

>>128449
right! "I'm ugly" is a physical fact, not a challenge to see who gives the best pity compliment. "but you're so pretty" I've seen a fucking mirror before

What's wrong with being ugly you don't get harassed by moids right?

>>128452
thank-you for informing me. i'll be sure not to spread any cope related to teeth issues then. i'm personally in denial, because my own insecurity about wearing teeth gear discouraged me from going forward with a fix for my overjet and braces to straighten the form got dismissed. oh how fucking stupid i was. to any young s lurking, use anything offered to you for your appearance. do not lean on the comfort of avoiding current-time inconveniences. just plunge into the cold water and fucking save yourself. i do vaguely recall that the top half of the mouth can be fixed through surgery, so that i'll still cling to.

>>128455
You do. I'm sure there's a level of appearance where you're mostly left alone but at a certain level of ugliness moids will react with aggression.

I occasionally have groups of teenage moids who'll come at me and scream shit like "WHAT'S WRONG WITH YOUR FACE" into my face. But zoomers are mostly too socially awkward to do it.

Millennial and boomer men are another matter altogether. Imagine the worst school bully you've ever experienced, this is how these grown men act when they see an ugly woman
I mentioned my coworker in OP and that's how most moids react - mockery best case, violence and contempt worst case.
I've had a junkie run at me waving his fists and screaming "YOU LOOK SO FUCKED UP".

This summer a moid stopped his car on the side of the road and got out to tell me that I "shouldn't wear stuff like this" (pink shin-length dress, cardigan - very basic and nondescript clothing) "while looking like this" (gestured to face). Then laughed like he just made the best joke ever

At my gym there is an elder millennial/boomer regular who makes jabs at me every time he sees me. "still with that face I see hahahaha" "wow you look great, did you change your hair hahahahaha" "this top looks great you just need a paper bag hahahahaha". He has a wife, from what I hear, and works as a doctor.

I have tons of examples of strangers approaching me just to tell me I'm ugly, it happens several times a month. And it's never women. I'm sure they remark on it in private and that doesn't bother me because it doesn't even rank in comparison to the above

>>128455
Bland little comment, but I'll bite. We earn 12% less than attractive people. We're likelier to be estimated as less sociable, less friendly, we're guessed as having worse personalities regardless of our real ones. Being perceived as unattractive is linked to negative health outcomes like disordered eating and poorer mental wellness. We go through systematic bias in education, employment and the legal system. Imagine getting a worse sentence because the judge and the jury isn't charmed by a sweet little face? Absolutely rotten. We receive harsher sentences. "Unattractive is bad" becomes a self-fulfilling prophecy against our will, all because others decide that we're not worth talking to, not worth dating for love, not worth including in plans. Then they complain that we're bitter, and stupidly say that their observation of our grief confirms all their oh so true suspicions that we're not worth anything.
I personally don't care to reduce the suffering of pretty girls. I'm nowhere near hungry for the molesting eyes of men, who are the primary predators of beauty. I also find them gorgeous and want them to enjoy their blessings. But listen, the whole not getting harassed thing is bullshit. Not only because ugly women will get raped and not believed, all to the benefit of the rapist - but because I've been shouted at in the road by a bunch of males simply for being ugly. They include you in their jokes against your participation - i wasn't even looking at them - clawing at my dignity just because they could and always can. All the claims of not being harassed come from people who haven't cared at all to know what any of us unattractive people go through.>>128455

>>128457
what country are you from

>>128484
These happened in the UK

>>128489
I was just gonna ask the same question as the other nona and it's very obvious you live in the UK, boys are the most uncivilized I've ever seen there

>>128489
>>128490
yeah i was the one who asked and i knew. you just live in one of those weird neggy countries nona. they’re half hitting on you when they do that it’s like they’re too chickenshit to cat call in a positive way.

>>128491
THAT is how they flirt??

>>128489
Maybe ask them in a genuine question if they are 'half-hitting' on you or if theyre being mean assholes to you

Usually ppl dont like being assholes when they realize theyre being one so perhaps making things clear to 'em will fix that


Think a lot of ppl experienced smt where youd have prefered smb not to do or say a certain thing but at the same time know it wasnt malicious but still ugh

>>128491
He's pulling your hair/hitting you/humiliating you in public because he likes you
Are you serious

>>128495
have you ever had an abusive partner? that’s how they are. it doesn’t mean date them or it’s normal. they’re maladjusted freaks but yeah they like you. they ignore ugly girls not obsess over them.

>>128491
Wow what a barbarian culture UK is

>>128497
Oh I see, you're doing a bit

>>128505
abusers will call beautiful women ugly to abuse them and make them stay

>>128506
That is clearly not the situation I'm describing