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Vent Thread Anonymous 129800
Again because we need a gazillion of these
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>>>/feels/125413Anonymous 129804
I'm having a 24/7 existential crisis please make it stop someone I'm gonna kill myself if it doesn't
Anonymous 129805
Really hate how hard it is to find a submissive moid not into penis, racism, cucking or just gross gay shit in general.. I just want a straight subby bf
Anonymous 129806
It's been 10 years since I've been in a relationship, I feel like I'll never be able to have a normal relationship again lol not that any of my prior relationships were normal. I do kinda feel like havi g someone to touch again, one of my classmates is a touchy person and it reminded me that i knda miss it, maybe I should get a pet, i thibk I might be scared of serious relationships lol
Anonymous 129808
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My parents are pathologically frugal. I bought a shirt that needs to be washed separately in the washing machine, got into a huge argument because they won't allow me to wash it by itself (it's like 10 cents). I miss my train because I got stuck in a traffic jam for almost 2 hours and they get mad at me over the money I wasted (it is a few euro). As a child everything I wore was too small or too big cause they would only buy from very cheap second-hands or clearence isle. They somewhat disapprove of my relationship because we are semi-long distance and I need to take a bus to see him. I could list a bunch more.
And they both make way above-average and have enough in disposable income to buy a house. I am literally counting down days until I graduate so I will finally be self-sustainable and won't have to argue and beg over every single expense.
Anonymous 129809
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Why would an ex unblock you all of a sudden only to just… do nothing? Just complete silence. I've been messing things up at work and making stupid mistakes while driving and losing sleep. All I can think about is this. My brain constantly ruminates on it. We broke up on good terms, mostly, because of college. It's just that I'm halfway convinced it's some sort of trap, or a superiority thing like it's a game of who's emotionally vulnerable enough to crack under the pressure and shoot a text first.
Anonymous 129810
>>129809Maybe your ex was checking your socials but forgot to block you after checking your profile.
I have a habit of unblocking people when I'm desperate and lonely and so do many others.
There's a small chance of it being malicious but unless something else happens I doubt it.
Base it off of their most recent behavior if you can, is there anything in particular that you're worried about?
From the sounds of it the biggest risk is them wanting to get back with you.
Anonymous 129815
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I've been going through so much death anxiety lately and I deeply want to be religious. I just can't push myself to believe we're more than our brains but because of this I keep having these panic attacks where I imagine dying and there just being nothing forever and ever. I can't handle that even if it's likely, I try not to think about it or to look into stories of people with supernatural experiences so I can feel better but nothing really works sadly and I hate it
Anonymous 129822
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>>129808Samesame nona…
Me and my siblings have all gone to private school (but not next year since my dad is a lazy fuck who has not been working for a few years).
However we are "saving" on electricity/water which means he bangs on the bathroom door to make us take shorter showers. He also keeps Amazon boxes and brings home random junk that people are leaving for free on the street (we have a couple of paintings bought at a garage sale for £5 almost 10 years ago - they have never been on the wall). He also refund-scammed a pair of boots after buying them new and going on a two night trip with them.
Anonymous 129823
>>129822Haha did I mention that instead of a floor rag he cleans the floor with an old pair of underwear fuuuuuuaaaark
Anonymous 129825
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>>129800trying to find love as a lesbian is so hard… i come from a small ass town with basically no gay people, let alone lesbians. And all the dating apps are filled with troons or normies. Not to mention the straight couples looking for a unicorn. I just want an irl gf who is good with conversation and will talk about her interests to me
Anonymous 129862
>>129825You can do that with any women if you skip the sexual part.
Anonymous 129863
>>129862no. i want to hold hands and sometimes have makeout sessions
Anonymous 129865
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I havent posted on here in a while but i’m really depressed right now and i’m just angry at myself.
Recently i met this moid and i sort of actually like him. I’m usually so angry at moids and i could never understand why anyone would like one but i’ve met one that seems nice and i feel so stupid for liking him. And it makes me feel even worse knowing i literally have NO shot with him because I look disgusting when i speak and i’m like 10 lbs overweight and i’m super awkward and i know he probably just thinks i’m like. Fucking weird and retarded and ugly.
I don’t know guys. I’m trying to just get over it so I can avoid disappointment but I never let myself have romantic interest in anyone and i just wish i wasn’t me so maybe i could have a chance at a relationship like a normal person. But i’m just going to let it go i guess. It honestly makes it worse that he’s nice to me but I know i’m just taking any kind attention from him and running with it because i’m not used to it haha.
It’s truly over for me nonas
Anonymous 129905
>>129865Edit: I just found out he has a girlfriend anyway. Of course it’s the one moid ive ever actually liked . it was too good to be true i guess not that i woildve had a chance if he was single anyway.
I guess I’m just gonna go back to being antisocial and not looking for a relationship
Anonymous 129907
I keep getting wasted and saying dumb shit.
I'm a baby faced woman in love with a lolicon 8 years older than me. Kept indirectly trying to tell my friends that he 'shouldn't see my cosplay pictures or else' since all I cosplay is cute youthful anime girls and shit. They told me that it's a bad idea to even view him in any romantic manner regardless of the age gap as he's… dubious anyhow. Now panicking about whether they MIGHT have told him although they likely won't. Drunkposting so apologies for odd wording.
Anonymous 129908
>>129907I just wanted to tell you that you're really pathetic and you need to get it the fuck together.
Anonymous 129909
My boyfriend of nine months "broke up with me" after a bipolar episode I had. He said it was too much & he needs to think, then insinuated he doesn't need to think because he's made up his mind. He still has my house keys & items, it's been radio silence. I know we are done but this type of behavior makes me harbor some hope & I think it's very selfish.
Anonymous 129911
>>129910
I think he's unsure/wants to avoid the hard conversation, but I know 90% that if I reach out he will end it & the odds of him being able to talk to me again are very slim so I am in limbo until he makes up his mind. very frustrating.
Anonymous 129912
>>129911You have learnt that you can not bipolar too hard in front of people you don't want to loose.
Try to connect again when you are okay, neither up nor down and be honest, say you are sorry and that you need him.
Anonymous 129913
>>129907Why are you in love with a pedo?
Anonymous 129920
>>129911If you know he’s going to dump you, you have to dump him first. Paradoxically that’s the only chance you have of getting back together with him, provided you’re able to mentally let him go.
Right now, he associates you with the negative experience he just had plus the burden of having an uncomfortable conversation. Every time he remembers you he feels this pressure, and since he’s a coward that can’t just say what he thinks, he will try to avoid thinking about you to stop stressing.
If you break up with him calmly but firmly, you take away the burdens, and then if he starts thinking about you again he’s more likely to start remembering the good things.
Just make sure to not leave more negative feelings in the breakup convo. Idk what happened during your episode, if you have to apologize for something then do that, but do not have a long heart to heart with someone who’s decided to leave you, even temporarily. Don’t blame him for the break up but don’t blame yourself excessively either, and ideally tell him that you’d like to remain friends and on good terms, and then never actually contact him, or meet him if he wants to hang out. He might want to just check up on you because he’s like, omg I have totally broken her heart (because I’m so awesome) let me see if she has survived - well fuck that. He might be also just reaching out because of residual guilt, fuck that too, once gets over that he will actually be thinking about you with no baggage attached, start remembering all the good times and missing you. So if he eventually starts trying to talk to you casually, always ignore or blow him off, otherwise he will satisfy his curiosity/guilt/whatever and move on. Only give any response if he actually wants to talk seriously or get back together (which there’s a reasonably high chance of if you do all this, but it depends on your previous relationship).
Just remember: it is always better to break it off in this type of situation, because even if he stays with you he already feels like he’s settling/resenting you and you will not be happy, in fact the relationship is guaranteed to get worse. And if you just wait for his decision, you will feel worse and worse every day, because you’re basically giving away control of your life to someone who doesn’t even love you enough, and you’re not respecting yourself. If you break up and he never wants to get back together, it was never going to work out either way, but you actually did something brave, out of respect for yourself. So I encourage you to do it. Whatever you decide, good luck!
Anonymous 129921
I'm having such a bad religious crisis lately and I have no idea what to believe in honestly
Anonymous 129922
>>129921It'll feel right deep down inside you when it's the right thing to do
Anonymous 129931
>>129922I have had beliefs but they basically crumbled. I'm just really worried about what happens to us after we die and even what may have happened before we born. I pace around because of it and I've seen some horrifying theories
Anonymous 129941
>>129931The consciousness is located in the soul. There's actually many proven after death experiences, because it's very easy to prove when someone's brain is dead and yet they claim to have been floating around with 360 degree perfect vision. But this isn't important because you can prove that all day long, you can have video of someone raising from the dead and it won't change people's beliefs, you can see a ghost, see a miracle. It won't change anything, because everything can be explained away based on what people want to believe.
You can watch annoying college-brained kids talk about it
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nnTVPCwPjhIhttps://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mG2W5ziwo7cBut, if you're interested in eternal life. There's one claim of eternal life that is above all others, you'll hear about it all your life, Jesus. He not only says he was going to raise from the dead, and his disciples say he rose from the dead and many throughout history say they've experience the risen Jesus, physically by the power of the holy Spirit entering them and visions and whatever else.
But also Jesus largely talked about eternal life. Jesus is the number one person in the whole world. The Bible is the number one packet of information in the world. This is #1, the first thing to look into, and investigate Jesus' words for yourself by reading the Gospels. Four Gospels, you can listen to audiobooks on youtube in modern english.
I would CERTAINLY, not be spending time on female 4chan to find out about the answer to the universe, I'd start with bigger smarter longer lasting things. I mean, you're going to get advice from some random girl who's lived a few decades maybe on this planet? That's where you wanna get anything from? Don't listen to me or anyone, I'd look into the Bible and Jesus if you haven't. And from there things get quite interesting.
Anonymous 129942
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It’s so easy for me to spiral into negative thoughts about my past, and just feel anxious and scared for hours from a single trigger. I hate when I come across someone I once knew from years ago, and I’m sent back into the state of mind I was back then and spiral from there. When it happens at work like it did today, I just pretend I don’t recognize them. Which it isn’t unusual for me to forget people since my memory is very poor and spacey, so I don’t feel too guilty about it. I wish I could really start over again if I could afford it, without having to return to this filthy pothole. I don't want to see any of them ever again. I just want to live in a lonely shack in the swamp.
Anonymous 129943
>>129941I know about NDEs, they help me cope a little but I have such doubts. I know people have the same experiences on certain drugs. Many NDEs also point to the idea of reincarnation which is scary to me but so is the idea of heaven forever
>I would CERTAINLY, not be spending time on female 4chan to find out about the answer to the universeAfter you preach about Jesus, christcucks are so unserious
Anonymous 129972
>>129943Genuinely not sure what you mean. But like I said, go to Jesus for answers, not idiots on the internet. You're not going to get any answers here. But if you don't want to explore the ONE path to eternal life being put forward, then don't. No time now to think of religion, but eventually you'll find time to die.
"Well waht about… uhhh Hinduism or like stuff." Yeah you can waste your time with polytheism culture religion. Ultimately it's Jesus who has overcome death and is offering others eternal life, and with that we have evidence physical and by experience you will see it's true.
Anonymous 129984
9600 - 1girls alie…
I don't know why they feel the need to check on me after 13 years. Multiple times this week they checked my tiktok.
It wouldn't be a problem if I just let go and get over them, but something in my brain keeps the dopamine channel alive. I know I'm going to meltdown if I reach out, and I'm sure they know I will too.
I miss talking to them, I miss sharing things with them, I miss fucking them. I'm 28 God damn years old and I still can't get over them. Maybe if I got over my executive dysfunction I could work it out, but I feel like I've been in a trench for so long my brain has rotted from the inside out. Decaying in my bed doesn't help the impulse to stalk their socials, reading will always lead me back, gaming is unsatisfying anymore.
Anonymous 129989
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I thought I had got over him but randomly after four month Ive started to keep going over ways that I could break no contact.
I know that since hes the one who left it would just be pathetic of me to reach out but I want someway to make him know that I would be ok with starting over but I'm the one who pushed for no contact and have been avoiding him so he probably thinks I want nothing to do with him.
I have to see him in two days at a party for a mutual friend and Im tweaking. Part of me doesnt want to talk to him and I know I have no self respect basically wanting to be his second choice. I literally ran away when I saw him walking down the same sidewalk as me yesterday. I know that even if we started talking again i would be spiralling the whole time so why tf would i want to put myself in that position
Anonymous 129994
I am so confused on how to continue my life. I made a lot of big changes 6 to 7 months ago. Quit smoking weed and drinking everyday, quit microdosing, and am tapering off my meds still. The anxiety I went through was mind shattering. I thought nothing was real and thought about killing myself constantly. I still have issues with reality and suicidal thoughts but they're not as bad anymore.
I've always been "successful" - really good grades, polite, and a great worker, but at the cost of being anxiety ridden and feeling like I never belong. Always listening to what other people say and going along with it while regretting it inside, hating them for it. Wishing I could be me fully, but everyone around me always seems to shut it down. I think I'm intelligent but I hate it and I know how conceited that sounds. The drugs made me forgetful and happy and I lost myself for four years. I've had "me" back awhile and I don't know if I like it. My memory is great, my intelligence is back, and I'm more productive in certain areas and social. But it's back at the cost of hating myself and everyone. Feeling like an outsider, like a manipulator. I love everyone and hate them just as much.
I don't know if the drugs made me more "me" or not. My head is so fucked from my thoughts spinning and reality falling apart a few months ago. I don't know if there's a way for me to moderate. I want to try again but I don't in fear of something. I'm so all over the place now and I hate it.
Anonymous 129995
There was this moid I met online (alongside some others) and we all became a sort of friend group. I became drawn to him because we had similar tastes in music and in our views, and he was just so interesting. We never really grew that close or anything though. Almost every time we did dm it was him reaching out to me about something, but our conversations would never go any deeper beyond whatever it was that he was going to show me or that I was going to show him. I started to develop this big crush on him. He was very smart and working on a PhD but I liked how we both had the same terminally online humor and that he allowed himself to be silly which I found to be pretty cool as he had to do all of these projects and even teach classes. He did eventually show his face when we all did at some point and was pretty hot which just added to it.
This might sound delusional, but I did feel like feelings were mutual. He once said I was attractive to someone but then afterwards said something dumb so it was possible he was just not being serious, but he’d also bring up wanting to move to my state for work a lot. We jokingly got married as that was a feature on this site and he would always say he “loved me as his wife” but I just saw it as being silly and didn’t read into it. I wasn’t the only one who sensed that there was possibly something between us. He did tell me a bit about something bad happening to a family member of his which is pretty personal and I guess he trusted me with that which I appreciated. I haven’t seen him active on the site in months but we did have each other on discord and we’re a part of a discord server consisting of a small group. I noticed he left the server a few weeks ago very suddenly and I haven’t spoken to him in forever so decided to just reach out the other day and ask how he’s doing. I didn’t want to immediately say anything because I didn’t want to put any pressure on him or seem like I was keeping track. I genuinely wondered why he left as he was somewhat active in this chat and we are all pretty chill. He didn’t respond and I did happen to see he was active the other day which meant he ignored me. I’ve been trying to not spiral about this because it’s not like we’ve ever even met each other, and I know he probably is going through his own problems. I just wonder if I did something wrong or if I weirded him out because I am pretty sure he has spoken to the others but just not me. It didn’t help that there was a time he thought I was giving out personal info about him and everyone else to someone who used to be friends with some of us but ended up having a meltdown and turned out to be a weirdo. But that did end up being resolved when everyone realized there was a big misunderstanding. Idk I feel like I’m too caught up in details and things that don’t matter. I mostly just feel pathetic and embarrassed that this is even happening to me. I feel like a creep especially since this is probably one sided, and this is all over the internet, not even irl. I don’t know if I genuinely thought that I had some kind of chance, but things wouldn’t have been possible anyway just because of the distance and cultural differences. I still miss talking to him even as just a friend though and wonder what he’s up to. Idk if it’s insane I even feel this way but it’s like mourning a loss of a friendship or something.
Anonymous 130001
>>129905Did u get over him? Why was he talking to you when he had a girlfriend?
Anonymous 130002
My bf is suffocation me. We have to do everything together. I watch a tv show by myself. He wants to watch it with me. Even if it’s something he doesn’t want to watch. I play a game, he has to watch me play. I just want to do my own things and him to do his own things but it’s like he wants to consume me. He likes me too much. Like I’m a kitten he’s about to squeeze to death. I’m not trying to be a bitch but god forbid I wanna do things without him interjecting that he wants to do them with me. I literally stopped playing baulders gate because if I tried to just play it without streaming it. He’d throw a fit and bother me about it. So I just felt bad for wanting to play it without an audience. I just quit playing all together
Anonymous 130005
People jump into a conversation that’s obviously heading into one direction, but when it gets to it they all get angry it got there.lmao Sure dodge it, keep going in circles with excuses and half assed explanations. That will surely help you in the long run.
Anonymous 130013
>>129800I'm sick of being the emotionally stable friend that everyone relies on. My friends need to grow up and start handling their shit because I'm not gonna be their mommy.
Anonymous 130014
anyone else noticing the rise in male manipulators?
was waiting for class to start today and overheard a pair of men talking about how they intentionally make their partners angry for entertainment
my dad was acting really weird and provoking my mom constantly at one point last year. i know (dont ask me how) that they were having gross hate sex. theyre not like that anymore but i wanted to shoot my dad in his sleep. i have no idea where he learned this behavior from
i wish male manipulators were constantly ragebaited. i hope their children are beat within an inch of their life and i can laugh about how they were not intelligent enough to avoid it
Anonymous 130019
I phoned Samaritans yesterday and not only did many of my assumptions go unchallenged, my jokes barely got a laugh. I miss my therapist.
Also can I have a job? You, reading this, can you give me money for a job and do so over an extended period of time?
Anonymous 130020
>>130013dont let em stress u out and just hit them with the dam thas crazy idk what u gonna do bout that if they hit u with smt weird lol
Anonymous 130025
>say something mildly controversial on an imageboard
>profiling tactics ensue
Anonymous 130054
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>>130013Help only those that want to legitimately get better and are making the effort. Let go of the people who only want to vent and use you as an emotional sponge. Sometimes people grow when they are forced to handle their problems on their own
Anonymous 130063
Being in late thirties, i just don't understand, how are old people in nursing homes not killing themselves en masse, what could they possibly be still hoping for?
Anonymous 130065
>>130063Not everyone is miserable in their everyday life you know. You should probably stop and question why it is you're miserable and how you can address that
Anonymous 130068
>>130066
What a goofy thing to say. Sure everyone just give up modern medicine, modern luxuries like indoor heating, and the easy consumer lifestyle of just being able to buy shit like spoons without having to craft them yourself. Sure just give all that up to…let's see…die in the wilderness. Genius
Anonymous 130070
>>130068Obviously as a female you can't follow the advice. You need society to survive, but for men they can easily leave society and be much better off.
Society is a waste, it won't give you anything but a hole in the ground. Who the heck cares about medicine? You're gonna die anyway. Stay away from things killing your soul and rising up bitterness in your heart.
Anonymous 130073
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>>130065wait… you're not ?
>um akshually if you're unhappy, you should consider stoppeeeengoh my god it said the thing !
nonas, get a load of this SICK NORMALFAG FUCK
Anonymous 130093
>>130073If you want attention you can just post that
Anonymous 130125
I keep thinking about the fact that I'm gonna die and so are my family members and I'm genuinely feeling like I'm gonna have a meltdown over it. I have no clue how to cope with it honestly, grief is just so hard to deal with for me, my dad's side of the family is getting older especially so I know I'll have to deal with their deaths sooner or later
Anonymous 130167
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My mom has like 10 times the average wage in debt. The debt goes as far back as 2015 (!)
She also refuses to tell about it to dad and is asking me for money. Which is fine, I'm just gonna return her the money she gave me on my birthday.
But a few months back she didn't just want to buy me a gift, she wanted to take a loan out to buy me a Nintendo Switch. Which I do not need. But she was insistent. In hindsight, I do not understand what she was thinking. Is this just motherly instinct? Or is my mom just extremelly Kaijipilled and actually based?
Anonymous 130168
Oh, and another thing, she spent a quarter amount of her debt on buying her brother equipment for the military. Who is now dead and the reparations for that are going to his family we never talked to. So. Yeah. I'm glad I learned from my dad's gigajewish attitude towards money and never became like this.
Anonymous 130169
>>130168Now you made it political and i'm no longer able to care, because i don't know to which faction your family belongs.
Anonymous 130170
>>130169Okay? Your thoughts and prayers will be sorely missed I guess.
It's not like I support this. This was a horrible idea.
Anonymous 130235
I'm just a clown to my normie friends. I should give up on trying to pretend to be someone that I'm not.
Anonymous 130241
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I have more stuff to do than humanly possible and I keep coming up with even more plans
Anonymous 130244
mental diseases are really exactly like a curse that a sadist would invent. but it's just an accident of nature, and so i have nobody in particular to direct all my rage about it at. just have to deal with it.
Anonymous 130248
had a falling out with a moid i saw as a little brother
thought he was an ok one but damn its really all moids isnt it
Anonymous 130251
i’m never gonna feel like a real person
Anonymous 130260
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holy cow the Ai spoke my thoghts !!!
i feel retarded talking to ai but its literally my only cope at this point
Anonymous 130261
>>130260i'm sure you already know this, but it's literally just summarizing what you already gave to it, all insight comes entirely from you. what is the "holy cow" part, why a surprise?
Anonymous 130262
>>130261I think it can introduce new ideas you didn’t mention, this is best seen with asking technical questions for instance, though that’s rarer with mock therapy
Anonymous 130269
its exam period and it's getting too much for me. The past week I have been studying math for 5 hours every day. Taking one past exam which is three hours, correcting it which takes an hour, and doing weak topics or reviewing formulas for the last hour. The problem is I still fucking suck. Tomorrow is my exam. My average is at 52% and I'm really scared I won't pass. All that time spent for nothing. The past exams I did ranged from 51-79%,, but these last days have been horrible. Yesterday I did an exam and got 37% and today I made another one but didn't finish it because it was actually hurting my soul. I don't know what to do. I can't do more. I have another subject tomorrow too in the morning so I am scared my concentration will already be dwindling. Sometimes I get stuff wrong because I don't have the insight and it's so frustrating because then I watch a video explaining and it's so simple I could literally do it. But I have been making LOTS of mistakes on literally just, forgetting to put a minus here or ssometimes misreading my own previous work. It's so frustrating. I need to be extremely precise tomorrow but I am just scared. My heart hurts. I can't do more. My parents know I have been studying hard and think that my efforts will pay off but I doubt it. It will be mediocre at best… if I fail I might genuinely have to kill myself. Want to kill myself right now already. I don't feel like I am getting better. In the beginning I could see improvement between my first few exams and now I've plateaued. I think it's because I understand the material but I keep making fucking stupid careless errors. And my approach may be systematic and flawless but then I see I made a mistake with subtracting two functions from eachother which fucks up the rest and it makes me crash out. I pray tomorrow I will have the clarity to not make such mistakes- but I have been trying every day as if it were a real exam to no avail. Just sucks. My heart breaks. I don't know how to get my grade up and frankly I can't be too bothered anymore. I want it but I just, can't. But I do care actually. Kill me.
I also have another subject in the morning which is very learn heavy. The last few weeks every day I have been revising and revising and revising the material. I know pretty much every detail by heart. I think a 100% is easily in reach for me I just need to work on formulating my answers. I know I should practice by taking past exams but I just can't seem to do anything right now. Even reading the exam and the answer key side by side is getting to me. Even asking chatgpt to ask me to help formulating questions feels like too much. I have only studied 5 hours today, 3 hours math and 2 hours the other subject. It's now 6pm. I just want it to be over with. Just kill me. I have too much fear I think. I am too distracted. In the exam room I am always looking at other people. I just want it to be over with.
And there is a moid I like who is my best friend. we would be perfect for eachother. But we are such soulmates that there is no romantic connection which makes it feel so confusing. I want him and I think he has thought about this too so how do I get out of the friendzone. Last time I saw him when I was walking home after seeing him I immediately started missing him. That's some fucked up shit that only happens when you're in a relationship with someone. I don't want to feel so strongly about one of my friends. I think if he asked me to drop it all for him I would. Not in a way that I am desperate or obsessed with him but having the opportunity to explore if there was any potential in our relationship would be worth more than anything I have right now. Though I know it would also hurt my soul. I have a problem that I can't ignore the inevitable ending of it all. Every relationship comes to an end. I can accept that. But I don't think I could accept it if our connection deepend in that way. Whatever. First my exams and then I can see him again.
Anonymous 130302
I'm bullied by coworkers. I love the job, and I need it to survive, but these people make me want to die.They know it bothers me too and wont stop.
Apparently in America no one cares if someone is harassing you at work if it doesn't involve race, gender, age, religion
Anonymous 130304
It's so obvious he's losing interest in me, he only tells me he misses me at night and he is way more less affectionate than before and I don't know what I'm doing wrong. I've dropped all my studies and hobbies just to focus on doing things that will impress him or to engage and look into his interests, if he doesn't start loving me more I don't know what I'll do
Anonymous 130305
>>130304i'm sorry you are going through that. it sounds very painful. sending love your way internet stranger
Anonymous 130371
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I'm literally too busy being sad to properly be transphobic today. I saw this and just thought "omg a light purple ipod"
Anonymous 130382
>>130304Similar thing happened with me. Here’s what I eventually realized. It’s pointless to waste effort and brainpower on a man who won’t do the same for you. You won’t be happy if you put his wants above your own.
Anonymous 130425
A few years ago I was casually seeing this guy. So one day we’re hanging out and he decides to put on the movie Donnie Darko. Half way through the movie he looks at me and tells me that I’m literally fucking Donnie fucking Darko. He called me a fucking incel. Anyways good movie <3
Anonymous 130428
>>130302If it's possible, try to stand up for yourself, I know it's hard and I don't know your situation, but trying is at least something. Maybe talk to your boss and find someone in the same field that can help
Anonymous 130516
I support the use of insults when someone is angry but I absolutely despise it when casual, it feels completely unnecessary.
That's not what insults are for and it just shows you have a poor emotional intelligence
Anonymous 130523
>>130428I'm just so scared of getting fired. I really need this job and I'm already not the greatest worker on the team (ADHD & executive dysfunction).
I had the realization that this is likely going to happen every job, though, so I need a strategy. Like when is a good time to stand up and say don't talk to me like that, when do you talk to management, when do you talk to HR. HR is a bit of a joke at my work though. I don't think they care unless there is like a threat of violence or a lawsuit.
Anonymous 130525
Probably going to get a significant pay cut, fuck everything.
Anonymous 130559
Since nonas are venting about jobs I'm going too
This is the second time I'm doing the job I like and 6 days in and they already want me replaced. Apparently I'm not talkative and bubbly enough.
I quit working at a store for that job because i though it would be slightly better but now I regret it. I wish I stayed working at that store, at least my coworkers didn't suck and i didn't have to be bubbly and shit. I might ask if I can work there again
Anonymous 130569
>>130167>My mom has like 10 times the average wage in debt.>Is this just motherly instinct? Or is my mom just extremelly Kaijipilled and actually based?She has a problem obviously and you guys really need to do something about it before it wrecks your family. Especially when your father doesnt know about this. Its only a matter of time before he will know about this, and then shit is about to go down.
Anonymous 130579
sample_7fecbc16c2a…
i will not break no contact
i will not break no contact
i will not break no contact
i have dignity and respect for myself
hes viewed my ig story instantly each time for the past week he wants me back
i have some of his stuff so i have a perfect excuse to reach out
i will not break no contact
i will not break no contact
Anonymous 130582
Every time I browse this board I wonder if it's an open secret now that this has become a tranny site and nobody's told me, or if I'm just being really mean and possibly ableist
And then I think about how I learned to internet-write and internet-read in extremely female corners of the internet, and virtually none of what's posted here is female-coded as I've come to recognize it, and I'm like yup you're all trannies
But then I remember that this is a forum mostly for down-and-outs and mentally ill people etc. and I feel bad for pegging nonas as trannies
And then I think again about tumblr when it was mainly for lonely sadposting girls who didn't have any friends, and how I was there as it turned into a tranny website, and the thing is that the people on /feels/ sound exactly like tumblr trannies with their over-the-top attention-seeking dramaposts and creepy tranny-coded hornyposts and totally tone-deaf advice and judgment, and nothing like any actual girl I've talked to online, and I'm like no, I was right, you're all trannies
But then I think again about how many people on here probably don't get very much offline social interaction and might be NEETs and shut-ins and think maybe I just can't relate to you all and I'm being unfair
But the thing is that I'm a complete mess who's been friendless for years at a time, I'm socially hopeless, I had an unhappy childhood and I've never had a real boyfriend and I've nearly NEETed/hiki'ed myself into personal bankruptcy because I was so anxious and depressed and miserable, and I'm terminally online, and I still can't detect anything in any way relateably female in most people on here
Buuut it could be that most nonas sound like males because of autism or schizo and I can't relate to that
Yet I was there through tumblr's hellsite era and I know what unhinged autistic women on the internet sound like, and it's not this, it's not very boring (and angry) people having very boring discussions about very boring mostly male things, and by far the simplest explanation for that is most people on here being trannies
And then finally I ask myself who out there would waste time pretending to be a girl on an anonymous imageboard? And at first I say to myself that obviously nobody would do that
But then I remember tumblr trannies and that there are guys out there who put all their points into solitary and not very interesting things to talk about in public like programming and can't be girls offline because they're male and too lazy to even try to pass IRL, and being be a BPD girl on an imageboard is better than just being an extremely unlikeable guy in tranny flag knee-high socks
Is there -any- website for sad/lonely women out there that isn't poisoned by trannies now? I really miss the old tumblr. I feel sad. Also I don't like trannies
Anonymous 130584
>>130582Bots, trannies, CIA/Mossad agents. What difference does it make at this point? If you're just looking for somebody to read your long rambling posts then you're in luck because I just read that whole boring ass thing. Please post something interesting for me to read
Anonymous 130585
>>130584The thread is literally titled "vent thread"
Anonymous 130589
>>130588bet you would know everything about AI voices, resident tranny expert
Anonymous 130590
>>130589I was making a cheeky joke but the fact you responded with "TRANNIES!!!" makes me think it is AI
Anonymous 130591
>>130590there's a whole wall of text on trannies right there
Anonymous 130593
>>130591trannies killed my grandfather
Anonymous 130595
my vent is that my pelvic floor is too tense and i cant sleep because of it
Anonymous 130600
>>130586>>130583I need you to post a recording of you saying this:
What the fuck did you just fucking say about me, you little bitch? I'll have you know I graduated top of my class in the Navy Seals, and I've been involved in numerous secret raids on Al-Quaeda, and I have over 300 confirmed kills. I am trained in gorilla warfare and I'm the top sniper in the entire US armed forces. You are nothing to me but just another target. I will wipe you the fuck out with precision the likes of which has never been seen before on this Earth, mark my fucking words. You think you can get away with saying that shit to me over the Internet? Think again, fucker. As we speak I am contacting my secret network of spies across the USA and your IP is being traced right now so you better prepare for the storm, maggot. The storm that wipes out the pathetic little thing you call your life. You're fucking dead, kid. I can be anywhere, anytime, and I can kill you in over seven hundred ways, and that's just with my bare hands. Not only am I extensively trained in unarmed combat, but I have access to the entire arsenal of the United States Marine Corps and I will use it to its full extent to wipe your miserable ass off the face of the continent, you little shit. If only you could have known what unholy retribution your little "clever" comment was about to bring down upon you, maybe you would have held your fucking tongue. But you couldn't, you didn't, and now you're paying the price, you goddamn idiot. I will shit fury all over you and you will drown in it. You're fucking dead, kiddo.
Anonymous 130606
>>130589Why did you delete the post where you complained about women "bitching into a void," tranny?
Anonymous 130607
>>130606it wasn't me, obviously the post had been deleted by the janny. you can't delete posts past the 30 min mark
Anonymous 130608
>>130606Why are you obsessed with trannies?
Anonymous 130644
>>130643Who specifically are you addressing with this post?
Anonymous 130646
>>130645What makes this person a coward?
Anonymous 130647
The people who tell me "umm why do you care about proving anything to anyone" or "why do you care about others' opinions" are usually mega pathetic and boring themselves or just hypocrites and I hate it.
Anonymous 130651
hooking up with this guy i used to fuck today because my boyfriend left me. i don’t even like this guy in fact i actually can’t stand him. not sure why i do shit like this. i must hate myself
Anonymous 130654
Sometimes I cut myself and use the blood as blush and lip stain. And I look pretty cute. It’s so pathetic and retarded of me.
Anonymous 130655
>>130654Reading the mental illness on this site daily is genuinely exhausting. If I were your bf I'd seriously just tie you to the bed and tickle you until you peed yourself and cried for shit like this. Then I'd reprimand you as you sit there in your own piss. There's no other way to reform somebody like you
Anonymous 130663
I don't know why that cunt cow normalfag that dislikes me for no reason and that fake Stacy that likes men's attention and gets pissed if other girls get more attention from other guys. On top of that shes a nepotist and is friends with those cow cunts
Anonymous 130716
I wish I could have a fervour for life again. Trying to force myself to do new things never brings out the enjoyment that people say it will.
I feel so fucking lonely in every room, yet interacting with other people feels exhausting, if not completely disingenuous. I wish I could have friends, but human interactions feel so alien I can't even describe it. People stare at me like they don't know what to do with me. I'm at a point where I'm wondering if reading about/watching characters interact in the media I consume would suffice for human interaction.
It goes either one of two ways. Either I meet someone who has no interest in me whatsoever, or someone who treats me like a wall they talk at. The only people who talk to me are people who love those who they can talk their ear off at, those who are always available because they don't have anything better to do. Cucks who crave attention from someone else and come to me instead because they're not getting it from someone else.
Worse thing is, that in some way or another, it's my fault for being so insecure in the first place.
Anonymous 130742
>>130716Damn you're the version of me, i think I have stopped caring about that now. As you start observing the way people behave, it shows you why it's better not to have friends
Anonymous 130853
She checked my linkedin again
Anonymous 130859
Im addicted to reading vents as a quick fix to my need for human connection because of ptsd or something. I complained one time and a couple people showed they were with me and that was great tho. I told myself I would stop reading vents and hate but here i am, but I have not read the latest posts yet.
Anonymous 130860
>>130655one of the few megastacies remaining here
Anonymous 130866
It pisses me off how weak the human mind is, well, at least mine. You can't study or take in information constantly, there's only so much it can think at a time, then it has to rest. And I have no patience for this.
Anonymous 130867
>>130865I really feel like these kind of posts are by women but idk really
Anonymous 130869
>>130867Nope, that was obviously a dood, he wasn't even hiding it.
Anonymous 130928
never beg a man to show you he loves and cares for you. never beg a man to chase you. especially not an avoidant one. the minute you have to do these things you should just assume he doesn’t give a fuck. i’ve tried for more than a year now to get him to care and he doesn’t. i beg for him to love me like i’m some pathetic idiot. i’ve lost all my dignity. i have nothing and he knows it. i want to die everyday. it all hurts so much. my only comfort is that it will all be over soon.
Anonymous 130950
>>130928Well, duh. You can't just ask someone to have certain feelings about you, it doesn't work that way. Perhaps tolerating your mental behavior is proof of affection in on itself. Why ask to be loved if you don't know what love is.
Anonymous 130956
Got swindled out of €32 at market just now, money must be coming too easy to me, why couldn't i pay attention, fuck. Must be karma.
Anonymous 130958
>>130950Someone says they're heartbroken and your immediate assumption is that they're such a burden that mere tolerance should count as affection. Why? What in the post made you conclude that besides your own contempt for people who are emotionally struggling? Man I really hate image boards. So much obnoxious toxic behavior.
Anonymous 130959
>>130928Nona, this post reads like someone who’s been hurting for a very long time. The stuff about him is sad, but the way you talk about yourself is what worries me. Please don’t sit alone with these thoughts.
Anonymous 130985
I barely ate anything yesterday and today, and I just can't get myself to. I am FAILING to THRIVE.
Anonymous 131037
finally worked up the courage to go to a con in cosplay for the first time in like three years and got sexually harassed twice by two different guys. i wish i would've reacted to it better than i did when it happened. i completely regret going and i'll probably never do it again. i just feel so gross and it won't go away. i don't know how to make myself feel even a little bit better.
Anonymous 131045
>>131037Can't you just talk to event supervisors and get them kicked out?
Anonymous 131046
>>131045Um you’re missing the point. She’s clearly just venting about how awful and gross she feels about being harassed. And when women keep running into this behavior in spaces that are supposed to be fun and welcoming, it gets exhausting. “Why not report them?” Doesn’t really address any of that. Reading comprehension is dead.
Anonymous 131047
>>131046Well I'm sure female only cons exist don't they?
Anonymous 131048
>>131046>Reading comprehension is dead.So true.
Anonymous 131050
>>131049To be clear I'm not victim blaming and I'm sorry this unfortunate situation has occured. I was only thinking forward so as to address possible future incidents. Anyway I probably shouldn't have responded at all
Anonymous 131080
I'm having massive existential dread lately I'm lowkey tempted to kill my self just so the anxiety stops one way or another
Anonymous 131082
>>131080Okay do you want to talk more about that?
Anonymous 131096
>>131045ayrt: so funny thing is, he WAS kicked out but just came back in a different costume a couple hours later. i did send the con an email about what happened since i was able to identify him and get his actual name afterwards but all they did was send me a generic ai generated 'thanks for reporting this we take this stuff seriously but we can't tell you if we'll decide to ban him!' response. i already have super bad paranoia so i just don't know if i can ever feel safe there again, but such is life.
Anonymous 131166
I gave birth some months ago and some of my friends are very sweet to me but I sometimes feel about certain topics, I don't even talk about my baby often but I just look at life differently now, even imageboards of course feel different now, and i am waay more uncomfortable with reading some stuff that I was before
Anonymous 131167
>>131166Aww, good luck with your baby nona.
Anonymous 131171
>>131169
think birth is funny? irreverent bitch
Anonymous 131183
>>131172idk… are things going okay in your life? do you think things are about to fall apart?
Anonymous 131216
>>131183Everything feels pointless and I wanna die because I want to just get life over with since I find no joy in living anymore
Anonymous 131225
I got put into the silly girl DBT course. I am thinking of starting shit with the therapist running it. I already do everything they recommend, and it doesn't really work. I genuinely think this shit is harmful.
Anonymous 131228
>>131217I'm going through an episode of apeirophobia and existential OCD. Nobody bitch at me to go to therapy, I've been in therapy for OCD their shitty fucking meds don't work and I've swapped meds multiple times after the old ones went ineffective, don't tell me to find God either, whatever that thing has proven it's likely evil or at least apathetic (so basically evil but less honest about it). I fucking hate most spiritual circles, bunch of retards who don't consider the horror of their beliefs. I'm basically atheist at this point but I struggle to cope with it, not that God being real is any better
Anonymous 131229
>>131228I won't ask you to do any of that. Do you want to talk about your feelings a bit more? It's okay if you want to
Anonymous 131230
>>131229Basically just dealing with the fact that when you die you die forever. Whether you don't exist anymore, exist in an infinite loop of lifetimes or exist in some extra dimensional woo woo world you die forever and whatever is currently happening is just an infinitesimal speck compared to the rest of it all
Anonymous 131231
>>131230We got the metaverse don’t worry about that.
Anonymous 131232
>>131230Your life matters to you doesn't it? Why can't that be enough?
Anonymous 131233
>>131232It doesn't really matter to me since I learned this and I know god is gonna eternally torture us all when we die one way or another
>>131231 Transhumanism is a lie that gives people false hope
Anonymous 131234
>>131233Don't you have dreams you'd like to see accomplished?
Anonymous 131235
>>131234It's hard for me to because of what I realized. This is gonna sound schizo but my fear of death is specifically the realization that we will all be tortured for eternity after we die. I don't say this as a Christian by the way, it's going to happen to all of us. Regardless of faith, gender, orientation, race, age, etc. we will all be endlessly tormented. For the next 10^10^100 years and beyond, it will not end, ever, we will all be tormented by that evil fucker named God. Don't try to convince me of elsewise I am basically 99.9999999% sure eternal universal torture is the fate of us all
I don't know how to cope, it's so cruel and evil and unfair. I've wanted to believe it would be benevolent for us all when we die, that there would be peace but I don't think that anymore, it was proven false to me long ago. I am horrified, I can't feel genuine joy in my life anymore or spend time with people anymore without the dread hitting me, I can't believe we're all doomed, I'm so scared for us all since I realized this. Maybe this would be better for /x/ I don't know
Anonymous 131236
>>131233You are assuming God will torture you endlessly, which says more about you than it does God. You are assuming God will torture all of us endlessly, which also says more about how you view humanity than the actual state of things.
Did you do your best? If so forgive yourself. I don’t know what causes you guilt but I forgive you. With that in the past now, focus on living in peace and avoiding the triggers that draw you to negativity (which only produces more of it)
Anonymous 131237
>>131235How is being tortured endlessly by God any different from dying? If you can't avoid it either way, wouldn't it be better to just live your life?
Anonymous 131238
>>131236No it's not really a matter of what you did right or wrong. It's basic logic. An infinite existence = an infinite amount of outcomes. So if we assume a thing like reincarnation to be true (which is there much evidence of it being true) that means you will through all possibilities an infinite number of times. You will eventually live through being skinned alive as a human, squirrel, dog, cat, fox, 8 eyed 4 limbed creature named a Hghlefigle an infinite amount of times. You will live through each of these possibilities 2838298 times in a row throughout some point in eternity then you will live through it again 9017371082718171 times in a row at another point in eternity and it will repeat an infinite amount of times going forward. That's just one thing you are fated to go through, any other horrific thing you can imagine is just as infinitely guaranteed. Additionally god has given us the illusion that our lives are significant to it, it made the universe a cycle so the world will end one day and so will the universe, all societal advancement will be for nothing and forced to happen again and again as a cruel yo-yo making people think they finally solved some issue only to continuously torment them with the same problems. There's no nirvana or escaping the cycle, that was copium humans made
Anonymous 131239
>>131238>No it's not really a matter of what you did right or wrong. It's basic logic. An infinite existence = an infinite amount of outcomes. So if we assume a thing like reincarnation to be true (which is there much evidence of it being true) that means you will through all possibilities an infinite number of times. You will eventually live through being skinned alive as a human, squirrel, dog, cat, fox, 8 eyed 4 limbed creature named a Hghlefigle an infinite amount of times. You will live through each of these possibilities 2838298 times in a row throughout some point in eternity then you will live through it again Which would mean that it’s already happened, yet here you are, worried about something that already came to pass. The skinned alive squirrel version of you from 1 trillion years ago would be quite pissed off to see you wasting this rare cosmic break you know.
Anonymous 131240
>>131239Ok so if someone were to threaten you with a gun you wouldn't care because "oh well I'm not
shot yet I'll worry when the bullet is actually in my body making me bleed out" additionally you haven't actually refuted the point that God is evil doing this to us
Anonymous 131241
>>131240That’s not the analogy you proposed though, it’s that you’ve already been shot an infinite amount of times yet you have no memory of it. In other words, this life is all you know, you are trapped in it, until you move into another you who may not even have this worldview to begin with (especially if you’re a squirrel). There is no point fearing something you will effectively never experience.
Anonymous 131242
>>131241Ok fine if somebody said "I'm gonna nuke your hometown in a week" would you not care because it's not technically happening right now? Would you just wait around for it to happen?
Anonymous 131243
>>131242I would most definitely care about that but once again it’s not what you’re proposing.
Anonymous 131244
>>131243If you're that ok with eternal torture then become a Christian and blasphemize the Holy Spirit, some of us don't wanna be amnesia'd and forced to live through all possible horrific lives in a gnostic egg theory
Anonymous 131245
>>131240Exactly, I wouldn't care but that's mostly because I'm just built different
Anonymous 131246
>>131244I’m not ok with eternal torture either, I am very afraid of it. But still what you’re proposing is not that. You’re essentially saying a being that has both a different body and mind than you is a version of you that will suffer. Maybe you’re just practicing a radical form of empathy I can’t understand. Or maybe you’re just against the very concept of suffering period. But all that would mean is, the worst has already come to pass. It cannot get any “worse”, therefore there is no reason to hold a deathly sense of anticipation since it’s happening this very moment. Rather focus on what you can do for yourself instead.
Anonymous 131247
>>131246>eternal torture = dying and being tormented endlessly>reincarnation = dying and being tormented endlessly but with amnesia Anonymous 131248
>>131247It’s not just amnesia. Amnesia is when you forget your past. But this involves you having a completely different architecture to begin with. Does a squirrel forget its memories as a gorilla? It’s an irrelevant question, the squirrel cannot even begin to comprehend what being a gorilla is like, much less its memories of it.
Anonymous 131249
>>131247I'm pretty sure you're allowed to break the cycle of reincarnation if you live a good life. Then you get to go to nirvana
Anonymous 131250
>The Buddhist concept of nirvana is the abandonment of the 10 fetters, marking the end of rebirth by stilling the "fires" that keep the process of rebirth going.
Yeah see it says it right there on the back of the cereal box. Sometimes you just have to read the small print
Anonymous 131252
>>131251
> but I rarely see a mention of nirvana even when people report being visited by spirits they don't mention nirvana
NTA but uhh…you do realize a person who has experienced nirvana is gone for good, right? A person remembering nirvana is oxymoronic
Anonymous 131254
>>131253
>>131251
Once you get to nirvana, you don't come back so obviously nobody would have experiences with it. It's the endgame
Anonymous 131255
>>131250>>131249There's no reason to believe there's a nirvana, there's a bunch of cases of kids remembering past lives, Nde Stories (which not all include reincarnation but some do), past life regression etc. but I rarely see a mention of nirvana even when people report being visited by spirits they don't mention nirvana. Additionally I saw a medium and an astral projector say reincarnation is not a choice and is forced and another astral projector confirmed none of this matters because we've had societal advancement and collapse happen as an infinite loop already and it will continue to be that loop forever, I saw a shaman claim that our lives are not unique of significant at all as well
>>131252I fucked up by deleting and reposting my shit anyways I don't see nirvana as that appealing anyways. It's either eternal torture or eternal non existence, both of which sound torturous
Anonymous 131256
>>131255>I don't see nirvana as that appealing anywaysDo you at least like video games? Damn.
Anonymous 131257
>>131255yeah but what if it's like eternal peace instead? so that feeling you get when you're at peace but like forever. like a cozy nap forever
Anonymous 131258
>>131256But jokes aside this is the actual point of Buddhism. Nobody really wants to go to Nirvana, the hippies misunderstand it. It’s more about getting yourself to a place where you can actually accept and admit that it is the proper outcome, and
then reaching Nirvana.
A Buddhist would say that your remaining attachments are the source of your current suffering. And given everything you just said, it seems rather true.
Anonymous 131259
>>131257Living an incomprehensible amount of lifetimes of torment only to basically not exist anymore anyways after a while sounds like a cruel joke. Can you really blame people for hating spirituality with all that shit?
Anonymous 131260
>>131259I don't know. I really like cozy naps
Anonymous 131261
>>131259So what is it you actually want then? I’m starting to have trouble thinking of any ideal outcome for you.
Anonymous 131262
>>131261I don't think there's any ideal outcome, all possibilities sound awful which is why I believe god is evil and would've not created anything if it were good
Anonymous 131263
>>131262What if you're wrong though? What if you die and you get to the other side and everybody is just happy and partying all the time? Everybody is hugging each other and there's plenty of snacks and all of your favorite stuff. What about that?
Anonymous 131264
>>131262You can feel free to think that way. But what about all the other “versions of you” out there who feel differently? If you can relate to their pain, why can’t you honor their happiness as well, and take that as your own too? Not just the currently alive people, but the crazy extradimensional eternally orgasming 90 limbed creatures too. Their feelings and worldviews should be just as valid under your everything and anything is a version of me theory.
Or do you simply prefer to focus on one half of the equation.
Anonymous 131266
ayylmao.JPG
Now why’d you have to leave at the most crucial part.
I think people with tragically doomed mindsets like yours unfortunately can’t just think themselves out of their problems, since at one point the output bakes into the circuitry itself. But your worldview is weirdly empathetic in its own way. So perhaps by connecting with others, you can twist your own arm.
So don’t dismiss the thoughts of others, any more than you hate being dismissed. Just make sure you’re around people who aren’t themselves, of doomed mindsets. All this is assuming you actually want to change your mind though. If not don’t worry about it. It’s all a bunch of arbitrary nonsense we had no consent in anyways. That much I can agree with you on.
Have a goodnight.
Anonymous 131408
I'm being ghosted by my friend and it feels really bad. I want to believe she's just too burdened to reply due to her ocd among other problems she's facing but i can't shake off the feeling that she just genuinely doesn't want to meet me.
Anonymous 131440
>>131408I mean, I don't know either of you, but it's always a possibility that she just doesn't like you enough. It's happened to me, it happens to everyone. I recommend learning not to care much about the outcome one way or another.
Anonymous 131443
I ghosted someone I spoke to after they "playfully" insulted me for saying I don't like the mantits pics they send me.
Anonymous 131444
oyster.jpg
im feeling torn and indecisive about where to go to college
i was a neet on and off for several years after high school, after experiencing some awful events and a relationship that led me to becoming anorexic. so, im mid-20s now.
now, mostly recovered, but still struggling with the effects of trauma, im trying to decide where to go out of the colleges i applied to.
ever since i was in elementary school, i loved art. i was the art kid, i spent all my time in the art room. i had a very meaningful bond with my middle school art teacher. many teachers noticed and encouraged my talent. i drew constantly. by high school, this was my firm identity, but i totally got off track due to previously mentioned events. i stopped being able to draw. i barely graduated high school due to my attendance being so poor. nowadays, im trying to tentatively recover my ability to draw. i've posted some comics on tumblr and gotten 60 notes or so per comic. it's extremely fulfilling to me mentally. it makes me happier than anything else, making comics.
recently, i accepted my admission offer to a top 30 university, to study literature with an emphasis on creative writing. there's certainly things i could achieve with this- stories i want to publish, good internships. prestige. it's a ticket to being seen as smart. it's something to rub in the face of my enemies lol. at the same time, it would be a lot of work. i would have to read 300+ pages a week, write countless essays. i don't know if i have that in me. it's also expensive. i could afford it, but i wouldn't have as much money left over for other future expenses like a down payment on a house.
i can't stop thinking about the art school i was also recently accepted to. it's not as prestigious overall, but is still one of the best art schools in the country. i was accepted for creative writing, and the writing chair reached out to me and helped me increase my scholarship when i initially couldn't afford it. i could pursue projects ive been thinking of forever, like making ceramic/resin dolls, and be around other artistic types. for a long time, ive woken up at night feeling cataclysmically depressed that im not pursuing art. and i keep having dreams of the art room at my old high school. last night i had one. i was there, but suddenly i didn't fit in, and i was so sad. i also had one where i was visiting all my old friends who were also artists. these dreams feel very bittersweet and very real. they carry this feeling that art is where im meant to be. when i think about the upperclassmen i knew from art, i really miss them. it was one of the only times i felt part of something, maybe?
if anyone has anything to say, id love to hear it.
Anonymous 131446
>>131444I'm way out of my depth here, but houses are pretty damn hard to buy these days, and I hear the people who took out loans for these art schools aren't always able to pay back.
Of course it is an amazing environment for making connections, networking, improving your skills. But if you managed to get a scholarship there, I wonder if there's other avenues you could use to achieve similar goals. Just a few of my ignorant thoughts.
Anonymous 131448
>>131446i can afford the art school without loans, it would end up being cheaper for me than the university! they ended up giving me a lot of aid.
Anonymous 131467
I've been having a horrific bout of OCD caused by seasonal affective disorder that started in February and hasn't left me alone since. It went away for a little bit because I was distracted by stuff like the fact that I was moving but it's all come back and I can't fucking get rid of it. I'm literally pacing around sobbing every day now and I don't know how to feel better
Anonymous 131474
1780616982865172.j…
she mentions 15 seconds into the video that she has a boyfriend btw. literally living on easy mode.
Anonymous 131486
>>130869He’s right tho, all the people here are unfunny and like the nona he was replying to, she is literally like a female mtf tranny. the fact his post is still there with all the 15 yo male threads means this site is dead.
Anonymous 131492
2c8229cd30aa681ff2…
I wish I was rich god damn it. I can only imagine the beautiful universe in which I have fantastic piles of money.
Anonymous 131499
My brother that's in an abusive relationship (again) messaged me after 5 months of no contact just to tell me he was going no contact because I'm the only one in our family willing to be open about the fact I won't tolerate what's going on with him. I know social isolation is a big thing with abuse. But it really is hard on my end to be sympathetic after all the resentment built up, too. This motherfucker kicked me out of our house 2 months after he started dating his partner. He never speaks to me unless to ask for money or some favor. He never used to do that. I know that's shitty of him, and maybe just him. But he barely talks to anyone else in the family and we all have the same thoughts about this situation. He let her call me incestuous because I was worried about this relationship for him, when he had just gotten out of another abusive relationship. He didn't defend me. I heard every word of that argument. I haven't forgiven him. She tracks his location, he has to lie to even visit our mother. I know a shit relationship when I see it. I say I don't care, and literally nothing changes, because he didn't talk to me anyways. But I still tear up about it. We used to be super close.
Anonymous 131514
>>131499Moids will value pussy over blood. They will kill family and lovers over new strange. Never forget this. Few to none of them actually care about women. Him throwing you out on the street should tell you everything you need to know about how he actually sees you.
Remember this betrayal.
Anonymous 131520
I want to not look like a monster to people but then I scare them when my power level comes out. I don’t want to chance my appearance but I guess I should
Anonymous 131531
I hope my bitch ass pussy ex bf is miserable. Along with his dumb abusive mother and drug addict father.
I get so angry when I think about him and I let him be a bum. Useless moid. Genuinely he deserves to be alone for the rest of his life
Anonymous 131532
>>131531I wanna break no contact just to yell at him and see him suffer
Anonymous 131533
>>131532do it and block him after. he can have five seconds of enjoying you caring but when you make it clear he doesn’t get a rebuttal and your words are cutting enough, you’ll be living in his mind longer rent free. let us know some bad things about him if you need help with extra insults and beating that dead horse. he’s a man and he probably needs to hear it.
Anonymous 131537
Omegle is gone and one of my sources for socializing and processing things is gone.
I used to use omegle all the time for basic decision making by asking strangers online, then I would eventually make statistics and decide on my own based on that data like a machine.
Now I have to think about how I feel about stuff. And process things, and when I do exercise I have to do it on my own for my own.
Not because I have to keep an image for others or compete with others.
Most of what used to keep me up was basic competence to compete with others and keep up with others, it sounds very moidy yet it's the truth.
Now I'm alone in my early 20s, just two friends (my boyfriend and one girl friend) and my boyfriend is still a man.
Even if men are friends they eventually end up liking me, so I cannot really keep them as friends only for so long.
I don't know what to do.
I don't want to be a schizoid or be as psychotic as before as I used to, I would think I talk with dead people and that they communicate through my dreams with me.
Now I write and I don't even want to deal with weird stuff anymore, I used to read at least three books per day and I'm bored of books now.
I don't even know what the fuck I'm doing.
Anonymous 131540
>>131537That’s fucking crazy if you’re not joking
There are other Omegle like services I’m pretty sure tho (I know of one but it’s not in English)
Anonymous 131541
Your post also kinda feels like something I’d write. Crazy.
Anonymous 131543
>>131540Yes nona I found one now and got banned because i rejceted a moid and he reported me saying I shared my social media :(
And I am so bored of books I used to read 3 to 5, in book chats I used to not be able to fit in because they were talking about stuff and I was too autistic to fit in and say "yeah uh pride and prejudice is very interesting" even with feminists.
I just cannot seem to find friendship with women easily as they do because I am too autistic to keep friendships with other women in general T-T
should i just make a book list? Should I text my old friends? I just am tired of trying to fit in and if I don't fit in it's hard because I don't know where to find other women into stuff I'm interested
Like I found another woman around my age into tanks? But she's russian. I remember I spoke to a girl here but she found me too weird.
Then I met another woman around my age, she toldm e something I said something and she said I was too cold and insensitive.
I don't really know how to socialize and this is starting to show off just now.
At my early ages in school it was not very evident, yet as I grow up it shows off that it's evident that I cannot socialize like other women do and I don't know what to do about it
Anonymous 131544
>>131543Are you young?
I think you’re probably not hanging out with the right people for you. You sound like you need someone to relate to right now instead of just trying to force friendship with random folk. I may be wrong of course but that was true for me personally. I wish you good luck nona.
Anonymous 131560
I am so SICK of intersectionality lumping black MEN into the same spaces as me, when they are objectively more misogynistic than men of any other race.
black men
>cat call me
>grab me
>approach me in groups and pressure me
>use misogynistic language CONSTANTALY
>"this bitch dont know, I told that bitch, this bitch said"
>even when they try to clean it up, they just say "females" then continue to spew misogyny.
I am not saying men of any other race are much better, but I am allowed to critique them and they aren't literally allowed into women's spaces because of shared oppression enforced by white patriarchy.
Anonymous 131563
>>131560they are objectively more misogynistic than men of any other race
For as much as I hate moids I think we're just ignoring all the horrific shit white moids have done over the years
Anonymous 131564
>>131560>>131563Yeah black males are the worst idk why they're shilled so much these days, feels like a grooming psyop
Anonymous 131565
You can never trust a moid, moids suck and should all kill themselves
Anonymous 131567
>>131566
I'm talking about a white guy
Anonymous 131575
>>131544But where can I find those nonas? It has been so hard for me to even talk with other women, I joined an association in my faculty and despite that I still cannot fully relate to them on a personal level as I have done with men.
Not even with my closest friends as girls, it is as if I wasn't socialized properly with other women. Sounds very bad and sad, yet I never experienced those friendships some girls had as "sisters", all girls I met were into me in some romantic way. Just as my male friends, who were gay, despite that still into me.
I think it's very cool you managed to make girl friends, because it has been so hard for me
Anonymous 131576
>>131560It's because they are black so "black men are like this" and that mindset, so if one guy says "you are a bit rude with women" if he is white or black, he will be called off as less black or stuff like hierarchy and social games. The only way for this to stop would be for black women to socially outcast black men who do not behave as how they should, which will make most of them gay and some of them change to fit in with female standards.
Which is something that happens often, most gay men who are not gay because of abuse or awful relationships with their parents, are gay because they cannot stand the idea of pleasing a woman because women are not worth their time for them.
Anonymous 131579
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>>131575> I think it's very cool you managed to make girl friends, because it has been so hard for meI honestly never did. I don’t think even now I have genuine female friends besides one woman I have known for 16 years, even then I think we’re cordial at best.
It sucks being a person that desperately wants connection yet is unable to do so with most people. Without my SO I’d be so fucking dead. I was so lucky to meet someone who’s literally me but male.
I’m sorry I just ended up talking about myself in the end. I guess I just wanted to share something.
Anonymous 131580
And I guess to answer your question, unfortunately meeting the right people comes down to luck and not being afraid to be vulnerable sometimes. All that’s left is to keep trying.
Anonymous 131592
Bf made me watch him play a game that I 100%d and it made me so exhausted like I was full time babysitting someone
Next time I’ll say if you want to do something together let’s just do literally anything else
Anonymous 131593
>>131579I think it's nice that you share stuff too, at least, it's hard for me to open up to people in general to the face.
Being nonas with nonas, completely anon is not as scary as staring at others who know where you live and what you do and stuff.
I managed to meet very nice women, young, nearby my age at the college association I joined. The issue is, although I'm the "nerdy" one there, even if they are nice I still do not fit into them like they do naturally.
I have seen women multiple times. Multiple, studied them. Even dated them.
Despite all of that effort, women often get along you better when you are more calm and often do not even try to hang or impress them. The less you try to impress them and more you try to be one with yourself is how you become friends with women.
And the wanting to impress them would be after you accept your individuality and self first, and second you accept theirs.
Perhaps that is what I need to put into test myself, accept that even if they are all different than me and I might never meet another woman in my country, speaking my mother tongue, who likes the same I do.
I think it's very cool you met a male best friend you can also like romantically.
I socialized with men most of my teenage years and now that most men end up liking me romantically it's hard to keep friendships with them. I would socialize with men with girlfirends, yet, they would end up having issues with me eventually.
Anonymous 131600
I didn't buy SpaceX stock.
Anonymous 131602
>>131600If you have a 401K or any investment fund you did. The boomers will take away everything from you.
Anonymous 131607
>>131602>investment fundThat's when you give some sleazebag your money to pick stocks for you like in The Wolf of Wall Street, right? No thank you.
I just wish i had bought some SpaceX stocks yesterday, because there was no way they wouldn't go up dramatically, i was just too lazy to figure out how to purchase stocks. 21% in a single day, crazy.
Anonymous 131689
Im so alone everyone keeps betraying me im a dirt
Anonymous 131721
You know, I was pretty horrible at school. Now I see my youngest sibling struggling with it, literally freezing in response to questions like I once did. Not that I didn't figure shit out later, but I am worried the same will continue for my children. I wish I could raise them to be really smart.
Anonymous 131724
>>131721Just teach them how to read and think critically early on. Everything else will fall into place
Anonymous 131725
>>131724It's kind of funny because I keep seeing just exactly this, that gen alpha can barely read. Is this really just because of Ipads and youtube? When I was a kid the Internet was the reason I could use near perfect grammar as a middle school kid and mogged others at language comptetitions too.
Anonymous 131727
>>131725Algorithms prioritize what keeps you glued to the screen which means they prioritize content that you engage with easily without much hesitation. This means violent content, sexual content, and content you don't need to think too hard about. The algorithm doesn't need to be complex either because a simple like system or thread bumping system will accomplish the same thing given enough time. If kids are frying their dopamine receptors nonstop at home with this content, why the actual hell would they give a single shit about schoolwork? Oh teacher wants me to do trig? She can shove it lol I'm going to watch bongo beat dongo over the head with a brick and then watch stacy fuck tracy. You just need to monitor what your kids are engaging with and limit their internet time. That's really it
Anonymous 131728
>>131727>If kids are frying their dopamine receptors nonstop at home with this content, why the actual hell would they give a single shit about schoolwork? Oh teacher wants me to do trig? She can shove it lol I'm going to watch bongo beat dongo over the head with a brick and then watch stacy fuck tracy.I mean that was my life
Maybe my parents instilled some sense of elitism in me so I prioritized knowing stuff better than others
Anonymous 131729
>>131728>I mean that was my lifeDidn't you say you struggled in school? Lol this would probably be the reason for that. It's not just the higher interest in salacious short form content, it's also training the brain to have less patience for anything other than short form content. Look I mean you can raise your kids to be twitchy tiktok addicted discord gooners or you can be a real parent
Anonymous 131730
>>131729I had a slightly different point there
Anonymous 131731
It surprises me how the Internet is all about reading and alphoomers are bad at reading, I mean, unless all these people do is watch Tiktoks? But I refuse to believe that. You still have to read in a lot of tiktoks surely
Anonymous 131732
>>131730I mean sure. Instilled elitism is an effective tool in theory for making your kids motivated at the cost of compassion, kindness, and other social skills. There's no guarantee your kids will buy into it though. They might just wholely reject the idea they need to compete for anything and could explicitly adopt the "lying flat" mentality many youth of today have.
Anonymous 131733
>>131732I had a slightly different point there
Anonymous 131734
>>131733Am I talking to a bot? Again? How many bots are on this damn site
Anonymous 131738
>>131731You're stuck in a bygone era. TTS exists and most text in tiktoks is just reiterating what's being said verbally for clarification. There's not a lot of reading going on and even if you read every single thing presented, not many of those would be new words with nuanced meanings being used in ways you haven't seen before. It's largely just conversational vernacular often without proper punctuation.
Anonymous 131739
>>131738Fair enough. I guess the Internet just gives a more diverse pool of choice for content now. So if you don't want to read you don't ever have to.
Anonymous 131740
>>131739Like I mentioned before it's not just about diversity. Many algorithms even simple ones will filter out long-winded content because people don't engage with it as easily. I mean this kind of thing is literally a meme on 4chan where somebody will post a picture of a naked women with an irrelevant time wasting question and they'll get 300 replies whereas the much more thoughtful carefully constructed posts will get 2 replies and then archive. It's these algorithms effectively weaponizing human nature to optimize for max time spent on the site. Some algorithms are just more aggressive with their weaponization
Anonymous 131741
>>131731my nephew and niece are little Ipad kids. THEY DONT EVEN BOTHER WRITING THEIR SEARCHES!!!! all day while I watch them I hear them deadpan into their ipads "Ballerina Cappuccina", "Aiden Ross being jewish", "Sabrina carpenter dead rose emoji pointing emoji"
Anonymous 131748
>>129800I just want to kill myself. Every morning I wake up and stare at the ceiling or my curtains repeating that in my head. I just want to kill myself and it makes me so sad I don't have access to a peaceful method. I am thinking about applying for euthanasia, but that could take years… the sooner the better i guess. I don't see how anyone is content with living in this endless hell. I for one want to kill myself. Just want to die. Every day is the same it repeats the same endless hell. I just want to die. want to die. want to die. I don't think about much else. Distractions don't help either. In the train I listen to music, happy, sad, it's all the same. I just want to die.
Anonymous 131750
>>131748Nah I don't like that idea. Don't do it that sounds lame and gay
Anonymous 131751
konata.jpg
>>131748i don't know what you're going through… finals, work, family, whatever. things just suck, and it's delusional to expect the best to happen anyway, but at the same time the way we get anxious about things in our heads are much worse than what they end up being. regardless of what's happening there is eventually a way out of it - a slow and somewhat ugly one, but it's still a light in a tunnel. this too shall pass.
stay strong, nona.
Anonymous 131752
>>131600what a fucking idiot you must be to listen to retards like this. made 20k so far, +20% every day so far. options trading opened but im not going in yet. safe to say, if you didnt pre-order, you dont diserve free will.
Anonymous 131754
This is the poster who said their brain was deprived of oxygen btw
Anonymous 131755
I started a new job a month ago and I keep making stupid mistakes. My boss thinks I am dumb as hell. I have been unemployed for a year, and I enjoyed my little routine. I drained my savings so I had to go back to work but I hate it. I have intense anxiety, and I get up at 6 am and come home at 6pm. This job market is a mess so I am grateful to even have a job but I am miserable. I was thinking of a career change because being an executive assistant is stressful and posts from other people online felt cathartic to read. Does anyone have suggestions of other career options?
Anonymous 131756
eccf58a401c1823fd8…
>>131755Fuck what the boss thinks. You've only been there a month. Most new hires are trash at their jobs for like 6 months to a year, and that's even if you really care about doing a good job. I know this from experience.You will get better at it.
At least consider staying a year or so to get experience, network, and if you really hate it, make an exit strategy.
Anonymous 131758
>>131752>vent over failing to buy stock in vent thread>get accused to be against buying said stockSadly all the money in the world can't get you reading comprehension.
Anonymous 131759
>>131755what about project management? or social related jobs like human resources? I saw a reddit post with the same issue
Other idea is that you apply for something completely different (cooking, baking, cleaning bathrooms) and experiment with jobs
Since we are all nonas and there are no trannys here (I assume) I recommend you to be careufl about men if you will go to jobs related to cleaning, cooking for example there are some people who cook for you for a week. It costs a lot, they earn an awful bunch from just cooking for people who can afford it and pay a good bunch. I recommend you to see what you can explore right now, what are your abilities, a foda can be good.
Else, then you could stuck with your job and have a hobby to relax that is different. I recommend you to act fast since the earlier you act upon those desires the easier it will be to act upon them. If you wait you might wait for too long and you might just get used to it or be too tired.
Anonymous 131760
my family just compared me to an ugly girl and it's making me genuinely want to kms. i know this is an ugly feeling and beauty is subjective etc etc i truly wouldn't care if someone told me "this girl is prettier than you" but if i woke up and saw her in my mirror i'd want to tear my skin off i can't help it. i wonder if really look like this and i'm just delusional. she looked so fat too, why tf am i starving all day if i'm going to be told i look like a chubby girl. they specifically pointed out her arms as similar to mine. oh? her huge fat arms spilling out to the side???
genuinely kill me
Anonymous 131761
>>131760No I think it's better if you keep living. Yeah that sounds good to me let's do that
Anonymous 131812
I've faced the possibility that men are on large just hurt and twisted by the world and that's why they're horrible, and I made myself sad because I really don't think there's any way to make them better without destroying humanity and starting over or something. I'm sad because I can imagine a world in which I could befriend and trust a man, but that I can't live in that world.
Anonymous 131813
>>131812I think people are shit because they choose to be shit, blaming shit behaviour on past trauma sounds cute but you're just excusing shit behaviour when you do that
Anonymous 131816
IMG_6211.jpeg
i miss being single so damn bad
it stresses me out too much to feel like a half of a whole. everything my bf does slightly non-optimally irritates me and i am mean because of it
he never argues or gets upset with me for it either and does everything i ask
on paper i have the perfect boyfriend
but when a friend does something that bothers me, you know, i can calm down easily? i do not feel like they are part of me, even if i may talk to them even more than my boyfriend some days..
being a girlfriend feels like too much a tether to the outside world. i want to sink into my solitude. i love living in my head.
i love living alone and not having anyone in my space outside of the time i allow them in
i'm not sure i'm meant for romantic love
Anonymous 131818
>>131816>i want to sink into my solitude. i love living in my head. i love living alone and not having anyone in my space outside of the time i allow them in. i'm not sure i'm meant for romantic loveI didn't expect this post to actually hit home so hard. What you're missing is that you rely on other people more than you know. Did you build your own home? Do you grow or hunt your own food? Did you make your own clothing? What about the roads near your home? Did you clear those? Do you maintain them? You exist in a larger social structure and have come to rely on it just as it may rely on you to consume what it produces or pay taxes, etc. Unless you plan on learning many survival skills and living alone in the forest, I suggest you simply learn to coexist with others. An impossible feat you'd say but you don't realize the mountain exists only in your mind. With one thought, it would cease to exist. You control your reality
Anonymous 131827
I miss winter like you wouldn't believe.
>>131816Break up with him, you'll feel like this until it's unbearable.
Anonymous 131838
>>131818oh yes, i do rely on many people. especially my parents - they are the only reason i am here - i'm a sick person mentally and physically
however, i also only feel emotionally attached to them, and no one else. i feel thankful for my friends and my boyfriend and everyone else in my life for sure.
i'm an extrovert, actually - or at least i play one in public? i'm talkative and charismatic, but i prefer to only exist to people like this. i maintain a distance where i am only a bright spot in some people's lives that keeps popping up. if you try to reach me when i'm not there, you'll fail, and so most don't try outside of inviting me out. i think they can sense i do not want to me known? maybe?
to an extent, i also don't even let my dad in, and he is the closest person ever to me. my parents are the only ones i can feel in my space without feeling like they're trespassing into something i don't even want them to know exists?
i can rely on them without letting them in, you know?
>>131827it is hard but i likely will have to. i never want to live with him, or anyone, no matter how perfect. he says he doesn't want that with anyone except me, but, i think he may just be too in love with me to realize i'm not the only special girl. there are girls with more open hearts, more empathy
Anonymous 131840
>>131838You're fearful and guarded but I can't say I don't understand how you feel. Just remember you CAN change and things don't have to be this way. It is possible I promise you
Anonymous 131851
>>131816either your boyfriend is boring asf (i know that feeling) or you simply can't experience romance. it's okay to only fuck dudes and not want a serious relationship, you'll probably be happier that way in the long run too. even if you loved him, you would fall out of love eventually.
Anonymous 131859
bagholders of the …
>>131600>>131607Don't feel too bad.
SPCX closed today at $154.60. I wonder how many people dumped their retirements into it. But a sucker is born every minute, as they say.
Anonymous 131882
A guy at work asked for my Instagram. He honestly looked like he stepped right out of a fanfiction, so I was a bit surprised. But then he never ended up messaging me. :/
Anonymous 131884
>>131882you will find the fanfiction moid of your dreams soon ✿
Anonymous 131906
>>131905Grim. They have your mind down bad
Anonymous 131921
my laptop's hinge got absolutely btfod please fucking kill me i don't have the time to learn /diy/
Anonymous 131924
>>131921Maybe don't sit on your laptop next time???
