/feels/ - Advice & Venting

Well, i guess that depends on a couple of conditions-

1) are they neurodivergent like you? Do they share the same condition like you?

2) do they have boyfriends? Are they quality men? Just because someone has a boyfriend doesn't mean they're happy or on the right path.

3) have you noticed manipulative tendencies from any of them? Any gossiping, backstabbing or two-timing from any of them? If they do it to other people, they'll do it to you.

>>132100
1) most of them arent no. at least that I know of
2) most of them do have bfs, some are already married with kids
3) uhmmmm no not really but how would I know? Im autistic

Besides I am not too interested in socializing myself, I wouldnt turn down a bf if it landed on my lap and wanted to hang out and do cool stuff but yeah…

>>132102
Let me think… well sometimes there were this couple of guys that wanted to hang out with us at some point. We all went to a fast food joint (I think it was Chipotle I love burritos by the way) and they were somewhat different. None of them wanted to talk to me too much, but it was just one time I guess. How can I know if they gossip or neg or put me down?

>>132107
>Did you try initiating?

No I never do that at all. Im too shy for that. Ive tried my luck with online dating apps but its either ghosting or sex with benefits time. I wanted a bf not some friendship with onesided benefits thank you very much.
>Basically I'm asking if they're mistreating or disrespecting you. Too much criticism, exclusion or negative comments compared to others in the group.
Well they usually do not like the way I dress but thats about it I suppose. I want to be comfortable so I usually just ignore them or come up with excuses like "Im out of cash" or "didnt find any clothes that fit me" that usually stops them from insisting too much on how I dress.

>>132109
Mainly just about clothing I dont care too much about that quite honestly. I only buy thrift store stuff anyway and I admit I look like a complete dork. Though its not very different from how people are dressing up today, everyone is quite lazy on the way they dress when compared to say 2 or 3 decades ago I guess.

>do you also tend to withdraw in other kinds of conversations with people?

No I never ignore people about other things I think that is kind of rude. I also dont use my phone during social gatherings because I want people to talk to me more sometimes. I heard my friends saying that when they dont want to talk to certain moids they just pretend to be on their phones or listening to music, it usually makes them go away.

>>132098
Have any of their boyfriends or husbands ever shown interest in you?

>>132111
For some common interests yeah. But romantically or sexually? I guess… not? I am unsure. Its entirely possible I completely missed some signs but I wouldnt do that anyway. It was hard enough to make my current friends as an autist, I dont wanna have to do it again. Besides, I want to bag my own moid to cuddle and do cute things together. Just thinking about all that drama is making my heard hurt actually uhg…

Should I just ask them straight to their faces if theyre not "promoting" me to moids? Something like this
>Nonas, why didnt any of you ever help me get a boyfriend? Am I too ugly, stupid or awkward? Whats going on?

ask the scrotes to elaborate instead of just taking their word for it. what do they even mean by gatekeeping?

>>132115
Well, no… Its just weird that theyre all doing great romantically (well most of them some have shitty bfs but oh well) while Im just left by myself. I feel hurt, besides I also want a bf experience. I dont want to wake up one day at 37 and tell to myself "oh well I guess Ill just die alone without even trying! Hahahaha"

>>132118
Nona Im gonna be honest with you because socializing isnt my strong point. So, they basically said that my friends think that I am romantically incompetent or they want to have a "poor, sore loser around" so they can feel better about their shitty self-steem, by comparison. I dont understand that myself, either. Thats why Im here… why would this make a difference anyway? Is there some validity to this? I mean if your life sucks having someone worse off than you wont change it at all. I dont understand the logic, just thinking about it makes me even more confused

You should use the advice thread. Imagine if every time someone wanted to post they opened a new thread. It's ridiculous.
>inb4 but other posters won't see my post so quicky
Yes because you newfags keep making new threads for every stupid passing thought you have. Use the generals, don't clog the catalog with vents and other types of posts that belong in already existing threads. And of course it's always to talk about scrotes.

>>132122
>>132123
Im not sure if what the moids said is true, Im just telling you what they told me. Why are you accusing me of being a moid? This kinda hurts my feelings actually. Especially since my interests are so boy-coded for the most part.

>>132119
>Its just weird that theyre all doing great romantically (well most of them some have shitty bfs but oh well) while Im just left by myself
if people have the social skills and looks to find a boyfriend, they will do so. socialisation can only be taught to a certain point, and you haven't even asked for their help. why would they be thinking about your love life, and how is it weird that they have more success than you? are you even trying at all

>I feel hurt, besides I also want a bf experience.
they won't miraculously find you a bf, you're the only one who knows what you want, and it's your job to try. they can't carry you through your love life. the most you could even ask is for help with outfits, texting back, flirting & hangouts with scrotes that they know. it takes quite a bit of mutual involvement, and naturally, most people don't jump to do it without being asked

>>132120
socialising isn't your strong point? that explains the not-dating thing, much easier than the possibility of sabotage. but yes, we can't write off the chance of sabotage entirely, even if a lack of social skills could be a more obvious answer.

yes, they could be keeping you as an autistic jester (if you're asking about whether or not that's real, it is.) but it's tiring to keep around an autist just for this reason though, and there are generally more glaring signs that people pity you rather than like your company (ignoring what you say, speaking over you, friends breaking off into smaller groups where you're not included, forgetting what you've told them, etc)

>they basically said that my friends think that I am romantically incompetent or they want to have a "poor, sore loser around"
you didn't question them further about whether your friends said or implied these things directly behind your back? what are they basing these assumptions on? putting up with an unsociable autist just for an ego boost isn't as likely as your friends simply not knowing how to help you or breach the topic, for example.

if these scrotes are picking up on subtle forms of ostracization that you aren't, try and look out for the following:
1. your friends gloss over your request for help with how to set up dates. they move onto another topic quickly, and don't bring it up again. they show no concern nor interest
2. they say "idk" and don't want to take the topic further, even if you ask "do you know what i could wear to be cuter?" or "what topics can i use to flirt or have a fun conversation with a date?" by "idk" i mean, they're really not thinking about it. if they say "i'm not sure" because all men are different, that's fine.
3. they often organise hangouts that you're not involved in, and aren't shy about discussing that in front of you

wait, don't tell me you asked moids that have never met your friends

>>132098
You should use a dating app.

is your moid better than theirs and are you prettier or maybe have more going for you in life? if so then absolutely yes. they probably have you around to humiliate you or look better despite you having a lot of value that you haven’t been allowed to recognize. they infantalize you and have a boxed in notion of who you are because it serves their own insecurity. this has happened to me before and is what i take away from it. the women in question were not ugly but didn’t take care of themselves or have style and were poorer than me with family issues.

>>132119
it's not actually your friends obligation to get you a boyfriend, and they probably struggle with romance like everyone else, nothing you've said indicates they are bad friends, you're a groan woman and if you want a boyfriend your going to have to find one yourself, or at the very least explicitly ask your friends for help romantically → and even if you do that it's not their fault if they can't find you a mate.

the 'gatekeeping' thing doesn't really make sense at all, like they have exclusive access to the moid store or something, no that's not how any of this works