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/feels/ - Advice & Venting

Talk about relationships of all kinds, ask for advice, or just vent
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Anonymous 27259

Are there women in their 30s/late 20s browsing this board?

I'm younger but I'd like to ask a few questions.

>How is your life now (single, married, education, job, etc.)?

>How did life change in comparison to the previous years?
>What are the advantages of being at this age?
>How do people treat you?

Anonymous 27260

30yo anon here, we have a few threads like this fyi:
>>>/feels/36


>How is your life now (single, married, education, job, etc.)?

I'm dating someone, but it isn't super serious
>How did life change in comparison to the previous years?
I was a total NEET during my 20s (save for a few years of working), I always thought I would be dead by 25 or 30 at the very most (had some suicide attempts, am chronically ill, and overall I'm a mess), so I never prepared for the future and now I found myself turning 30 and going, fuck, I'm still here, I have to start making use of my time. I'm working a lot more on myself now. My friends are all marrying, living with partners, getting serious about career, or other things, so it's been really lonely. Other than that, not much has changed.
>What are the advantages of being at this age?
I feel way more confident now. I feel like I'm finally past the "awkward stage" and I'm generally way more relaxed. I don't let people push me around as much anymore. Overall I'd say it's pretty good. I was really scared of turning 30 and aging in general because everywhere you're reminded that a woman is at her peak when she's young and beautiful, but I see that for what it is now.
>How do people treat you?
I don't go out much, but I don't feel like anyone really treats me much differently. Age is probably the least important factor in how people treat me because of my visible illness, extreme awkwardness, and slightly alternative look, all of which leads to people patronizing me anyway.

Anonymous 27261

>>27259
>How is your life now (single, married, education, job, etc.)?

I'm a married mother of one, have a full time professional job. Very satisfied both at home and at work.

>How did life change in comparison to the previous years?


Depends on how far previous you want to go? I met my eventual husband the Fall season after I graduated from college. Worked crap jobs through my early 20s and started at the bottom rung in a professional environment in my mid 20s. Am still in the same position but at a much more prestigious business making a lot more money now. Married at 26, pregnant at 30.

>What are the advantages of being at this age?


A much better sense of how much the doom and gloom of the internet paints a far worse picture of the world than how things really are. I feel very secure in my life, which allows me to be authentically myself.

>How do people treat you?


Fairly well, but I'm conventionally attractive so that's nothing new. I still look much younger than my age so people treating me like someone without experience gets more annoying every year. Thankfully most people I encounter are self-effacing and apologetic if they offend me, so it's not too bad.

Anonymous 27266

>>27259

>How is your life now (single, married, education, job, etc.)?

Single, more underemployed than I’d like to be. My education is pretty good (went to a top school back in the day), but I feel like I didn’t take full advantage of it. Spent too much time studying when I could have been making connections/networking with people.

>How did life change in comparison to the previous years?


An improvement from before, but I’m still constantly striving to do better.

>What are the advantages of being at this age?


Honestly, I can’t think of any. Sometimes I wish I could turn back time and have a do-over, but that wish isn’t super strong either.

>How do people treat you?

Nicely. I’m a pretty nice and polite person, so people generally treat me the same. I want to build more closer connections though.

Anonymous 27271

>How is your life now (single, married, education, job, etc.)?
I'm in a committed, long-term relationship, but not married. College grad, employed full time at a job I enjoy most of the time.

>How did life change in comparison to the previous years?

More bills. More responsibilities beyond myself.

>What are the advantages of being at this age?

None, really.

>How do people treat you?

I've become more proactive and assertive so I get more respect than I used to. People are often a bit surprised that I'm almost in my thirties. But I've always been a late bloomer and immature for my age. Now I come off as normal until people attempt friendship beyond small talk.

Anonymous 27272

>>27261
>Married at 26, pregnant at 30.
Nice. I 'm hitting 30 soon and want to start a family so badly.

Anonymous 27298

>>27259
>How is your life now (single, married, education, job, etc.)?
Dating someone and it's going pretty great. Not sure how it's going so great honestly. Finished education a long time ago, and these days I'm self-employed. Money isn't great, but the hours and freedom are nice. Long-term it probably wont be enough, but for the moment it's keeping me going.

>How did life change in comparison to the previous years?

Honestly the biggest change was starting to give less and less of a shit about things like peer pressure / what people around me thought. I was never all that susceptible but it still used to prey on me pretty hard. Nowadays, not at all. It's been pretty nice.

>What are the advantages of being at this age?

I guess as above, I'm way more able to deal with my problems now. Not necessarily actually solve them, but at least being able to start tackling them without always feeling ashamed over them. All my friends were doing great and settling down, and I was just kinda here slowly falling apart for a long time.

>How do people treat you?

I still get mistaken for a college student, which is sometimes nice but also very frustrating. It isnt a huge deal usually, but it can be very annoying when people assume I don't know what I'm doing.
Most annoyingly, I just sometimes put my gender neutral middle name on work instead of my real name, and get a better response.

Anonymous 27311

>>27260
Can I ask how you got out of your NEET/thinking you'd be dead by 30-state? Did you get a sudden ephiphany or did it happen naturally?

Anonymous 27341

>How is your life now (single, married, education, job, etc.)?
In a relationship, college drop out. Make around six figures doing what I love.

>How did life change in comparison to the previous years?

A few years ago, after contemplating it for a long time, I attempted suicide by gun and failed because some people were there for me. I had finally just plain broken under a lifetime of abuse. After that point I tried my best to put it all behind me. I was real with myself that I can choose a good life ending in death or a bad life ending in death, and I stopped bitching about the injustice of the world and made my choice. My life change was a complete 180 from thereon, though changes were definitely not overnight.

>What are the advantages of being at this age?

Super cliche: I feel younger than I've ever been and like my whole life is ahead of me. I realize how small and unimportant my years up until this point were. Just a few decades of suffering that I can't even really remember, full of stuff that felt so important at the time but are inconsequential now. All of my abusers, my trauma, the people who wronged me, none of them can even taste the dust on my heels. I live a good life and no one in my past would even recognize me if we crossed the street.

This is turning into a blog post but I guess I wanted to express that life changes, if you're the kind of person who's really down right now. So many hurt, depressed girls who don't make it to their twenties and beyond because they have no way to see that there's a chance that they can be happy, and that their abusers won't be able to ever hurt them again.

>How do people treat you?

With respect and care. I work a respectable job in a high end location and look put together to those who don't know me. I'm still fucked up inside and patching things up for some time yet. Because of that I just assume anyone no matter how successful or flawless they look have experienced grief the same as me if not greater.



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