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/feels/ - Advice & Venting

Talk about relationships of all kinds, ask for advice, or just vent

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Online fame and paranoia Anonymous 3766

I'm probably going to get some hate for this, but here we go.

I have a slightly successful YouTube channel and a pretty slow thread on lolcow /snow/. Through mutual interests, I've met a girl, and we've developed a mutual crush on each other.

Unfortunately, I found out she's in the lolcow discord. Now I can think about is whether or not she's a farmer trying to get close to gossip about me. I know it sounds self important but I've been catfished before due to my online presence. What do I do? How fucked am I?

Anonymous 3768

I would not trust anyone in the lolcow discord as someone who has no online persona.

I also can't even tell if this is some sort of call for people to try to find you. Kind of a self-post. You didn't need to mention getting hate for this or the self-important part. It makes you seem even more annoying tbh and like those YouTubers that are all big on how different, genuine, and humble they are as compared to others.

Anonymous 3769

I mean, just like the majority of us here I came from lc. And I'd tell you to go for me lol. But yeah, it's better to be safe than sorry in a situation like this, so tbh you should drop her and forget about it for your own privacy and safety. Also I agree with >>3768 on everything else.

Anonymous 3775

Semi-relevant but does anyone fear getting any kind of fame now afyer seeing what the Internet is capable of?

My dream is to be an author but after seeing people online getting doxxed, their online posts from a decade ago getting picked apart and personal conversations and photos being leaked, I'm not so sure I want to pursue it anymore. I could use a pen name but people who do that tend to not be as successful because they're not interacting with readers to promote their work. I'm terrified that accounts on dating sites I had will be dug up or something like that. I'm even afraid that future employers will stalk my online presence because I've heard similar stories.

A few years ago I tried deleting all my accounts but now with things like the wayback machine, that shit is there forever. I wish I had known that when I first started using the Internet at 12 but my parents didn't understand it enough to warn me. Anyone else worry about the same thing??

To respond to the op post, I would stop talking to her. I know it sucks but someone being on lolcow and having possibly seen your thread is too suspicious for my liking. Or if you feel close enough to her, you could ask about it?

Anonymous 3779

I think fame has always had potentially lethal side effects, it's not worse now, just different.

> I'm even afraid that future employers will stalk my online presence because I've heard similar stories.

Yea this does happen, just set all your stuff to private (it astounds how many people don't do this by default) and don't accept random friend request. Facebook has an 'acquaintance' level when adding friends, it's pretty useful too: it allows you to add them as a friend, but only allows them to see your public posts.

How bad can these dating site profiles be? I think if things from the past come back, the best thing to do is own them. "Yea, I did X back in the day, but I learned Y from doing it and now I'm more about Z".

Aim for the stars anon, because when you're six feet under you might wish you'd been to heaven first, even if it was just for 15 minutes.

Anonymous 3785

>>3766 I'm p sure someone on lolcord mentioned crushing on a lolcow at one point so like if this is the same people involved you guys have some serious talks to have

But from personal experience, dating when you're famous or efamous is an accident waiting to happen, unless you date someone who is also like that.

my two cents with your life, tell me to fuck off if you want, but; Use whatever following you have to create a sustainable business and then GTFO with putting your face or photos to anything.

Anonymous 3786

Thank you for the replies

you're right and I'm sorry, I didnt mean to come across like that but I can see how it happens, thank you for making me aware.

do you remember who/when?

good idea thanks

Anonymous 3787

>>3786 I don't remember, sorry.

Anonymous 3803

I ended up talking to a girl posted in /pt/. I already knew she was posted there and knew a lot of things about her because I liked catching up on with her thread sometimes. After finally interacting I developed a crush on her. We're not good friends or anything, but I had to abandon her thread not to feel bad about talking with her. We have never talked about lolcow, but I know she probably knows she's there.

Maybe knowing this can help you, OP. I'm sure not everyone is like me, but who fucking knows.

Anonymous 3804

Just wanted to add I didn't stalk her, we met by chance.

Anonymous 3809

If you're really worried about it, follow your gut. Imo if you join the lolcow discord, you're pretty much fucked in the head. An anon went to great lengths to pretend to be a romantic/sexual partner for PT and now we have so many embarrassing details about her.

If it bothers you enough to make a thread about it, don't bother.

Anonymous 3817

The person could genuinely like you, just be careful.

I say this because I really like Yumi King, and I find it a bit annoying she is considered a snowflake. She seems sweet and like someone I'd be friends with.

Anonymous 3822

Please be careful, op.

Anonymous 3897

What's with people like you getting aggy everytime someone doesn't sound like a completely self-hating spineless loser in their post. You people are projecting your deep insecurities.

Anonymous 3898

What the fuck? I literally was saying the OP doesn't need to sound all "omg i'll get hate for this" and "not to sound self-important, but…" when it's like, just say that you have been catfished before and have reason to believe someone could be trying to gossip about you since you happen to have a lolcow thread. If anything, I critiquing how she sounds unnecessarily self-hating in her post and that it just clogs her post up and seems fake humble.

Anonymous 3899

I'm OP and I'm glad I was called out because in hindsight my post really could be read as humblebraggy which wasn't my intention! It's hard to bring up online popularity without sounding conceited, so I wanted to sound self-aware, but it backfired hahaha! I don't mind.

I'm still talking to her and we'll hang out soon!

Anonymous 3900

You did it again, lol.

Anonymous 3901

Is there any way I can talk about this without doing 'it'?

Anonymous 3902

I'm >>3898 and >>3768 and I thought it was okay. I'm guessing it comes from the
>It's hard to bring up online popularity without sounding conceited
But in all honesty, you seem well-intentioned OP and I wouldn't sweat it. People are always going to nitpick at you if you're an online personality and even if you're sweet and well-meaning, people are going to try to tear you down (just look at Taylor R).

Anonymous 3905

idk anon, this particular person seems like an attention whore. she's been posted on lc, which in and of itself doesn't mean much, but she felt the need to come here and ask us for advice and risk 'outing' herself. the whole thing seems fabricated. especially since someone posted this topic in the c.c thread during the raid on lc, specifically, depsite it being up for 9 days, and us having a large lc population. it seems fishy and insincere to me.

Anonymous 3906

Not the anon you're responding to, but it does seem like the trolls have been doing more long-cons lately, like posting bait posts like you suggested might be happening.

I'm guessing it's half fear mongering, half them thinking "Look at these girls, I'm going to post and pretend to be total cow and cause infighting and ruin their image board!"

Anonymous 3909

Just came to this thread from the venting thread, but I agree with the whole infighting thing. Krautchan and /r9k/ have been starting shit for a few days, cc was linked on /pol/ last night, and for the last few weeks over on lc there has been this one anon going around /ot/ and /snow/ and sperging out on people in threads by taking offense to the most random shit. I wish the mods would ban them already because they're derailing with nitpicky shit.

Anonymous 3918

That almost exactly describes what I've noticed happening. It's been starting with a really bait-y post, and then if anyone replies they're hit with a wave of nonsensical replies, or else alternately, there's really strange nitpick replies and a lot of samefagginess and replies that just defy logic, almost like it's multiple people trying to pretend they're all the same person.

I hate to think about it, but it's either a new trolling tactic, or there really legitimately is an incredibly painfully socially challenged girl (who, for once, isn't me!) who's just discovered the internet and can't stop posting crap when she's got low blood sugar.

Pretty sure it's trolling though. For one, I doubt any real actual person is that idiotic while still remaining semi-coherent, but also, I've personally seen trolls from 4ch use that tactic when they're lowkey trolling specifically to undermine and destabilize a rival community.

Anonymous 3919

Sorry, forgot something: I used to know a really rampant 4ch troll who used a phone app to manage his bait posts that would monitor posts for weeks at a time and alert him when someone replied to them. He mentioned he was told about it by fellow troll-type people on irc so I'm assuming the app has made the rounds by now and might be commonly used.

Anonymous 3924

That's an insane level of dedication

Anonymous 3935

>It's been starting with a really bait-y post, and then if anyone replies they're hit with a wave of nonsensical replies, or else alternately, there's really strange nitpick replies and a lot of samefagginess and replies that just defy logic, almost like it's multiple people trying to pretend they're all the same person.

>or there really legitimately is an incredibly painfully socially challenged girl who's just discovered the internet and can't stop posting crap when she's got low blood sugar.

This is exactly what happens. I frequent the altcows thread in /snow/ and out of nowhere we've been getting very juvenile, obvious samefag posts all within a span of 5 to 15 minutes apart from one another. And how they type is reminiscent of a tween girl.

Anonymous 3950

That's really bizarre that the two incidents are so similar. It almost does make me wonder if they're connected or are even being perpetrated by different people from a similar group.

I'll go out on a limb here and assume you're legitimate and not a troll yourself. I guess to prove my legitimacy I'll do a bit of an info/TMI dump, it's sort of the thread for it too since if the wrong people put the right info together they would totally know who I was:

Almost a literal lifetime ago I ended up getting waaaay too close to a guy I met through irc connected to 4chan (understatement of the millenia: I make bad life decisions, especially about boys). He was into some of the troll/raid-heavy boards on 4chan, and he invited me to join some of the like 28 channels he was in on irc, so I ended up getting a literal front row seat to some stuff ( I watched the backend of a Habbo Hotel raid go down and all I got was a lousy t-shirt ). Fast forward again a few years and I'm older, but not wiser, and it's same situation, different guy, but similar activity in the actual irc channel.

Both times, the situation was that there's a channel where people that frequent certain boards have collected, and then the guys interested in raids/trolling end up in a related channel with similar like-minded people with an insane level of devotion to trolling.

The trolling channels usually only have about 10 guys who are regulars, a couple more who are casuals, but then they all are also in like upwards of 10 other channels with a bunch of bored guys who'll come if someone called a sudden raid or something but otherwise were uninvolved and uninterested.

A lot of the guys were on irc 24/7, some had jobs or school so were AFK for certain periods, but some of them seemed to be right next to their computer all day (one of these incidents was pre-smartphone, behaviour has changed a bit now). I talked to (or tried to) a few guys who sort of centered their lives around irc and built irc bots that would send out alerts if there was something interesting going on, sometimes the bots were popular and in around 5 to 25 channels.

It didn't seem like their lives revolved around raids or trolling in general as much as it was a bunch of really intelligent guys who were really bored or understimulated. Usually there was one or two guys who were favorites, almost alpha guys of the group, who would become active suddenly and a lot of the inactive lurkers in the channel would become active as well to greet them. A lot of trolling/raids happened because these alpha guys would suggest it, or if someone else suggested it to them. These guys seemed to almost have veto powers, and if they weren't interested, it didn't happen. This behaviour seemed really similar to real life male social group behaviour though, so I'm presuming it's just a thing with male social group hierarchy.

Some of the channels were really super serious about trolling/raids and almost had a military-like precision to how they organized their trolling/raid incidents. Sometimes though, it would just start with one guy saying in the channel "Hey, there's a mouthy sjw in the whatever thread" and like two people would become active and start posting and badgering the sjw/troll-victim.

Usually it quit there, but if the victim reacted unexpectedly or one of the trolls got really angry, they'd do something like honk the bot to alert the channel to get more people to go to the thread. A few times, they used a call-out feature to alert people in all 25 channels the bot was in, and then a ton of people would pile into the thread and it would just be a shitstorm.

The planned raids were more organized though, one of the alpha guys would come active on a Tuesday/Wednesday night and start asking everyone who they should raid that weekend, and if somewhere was in the news or talked about a lot, or even if the alpha was pissed off at some specific place, then they'd decide to raid it. They didn't announce the raids ahead of time in other channels, but usually the agreement was for everyone to tell a friend or similar.

The night of the raid there'd be a ton of extra people in the channel, and it seemed like a few people would have visited the site and picked out where to hit it and how to hit it, they'd notice where there was opportunities to start infighting and then everyone would start shitposting. If it got "fun" or there was a reaction they'd do the call-out with the bot in all channels and get just a huge mass of people heading to the targeted site.

The really heavily planned and structured destabilization raids were different again. They were super heavily planned and the guys often picked out specific posters to target, either through baiting or copying their typing style. Those raids usually were small and intimate with 5 to 10 guys at the most. If they were going for a long con, they'd usually have someone keeping tabs and updating Alpha when he came online. If it got slow or unresponsive they'd start baitposting. If that didn't work by the weekend, they'd get really frustrated and usually do a bot call-out for a standard raid and then go back to recon after the weekend. If it got really boring they'd end up dropping it to focus on something else they could get a reaction out of.

This got way too long, sorry. I should also possibly post it via Tor but you only live once I guess.

Anonymous 3951


So that's why you were asking weird questions?

Anonymous 3952

It's alright. I'm familiar with the techniques used because I used to frequent irc servers when I was way too young to understand what was even going on. Even prior to 2003. I just watched a farmhand (thank fucking god) issue some bans in the Pixielocks thread because infighting broke out, but I'm sure they'll evade the ban somehow. It seems exclusive now to /snow/ and the only thread in /pt/ I've seen it happening in is the Onision one. They've left /g/ alone, so I'm thinking this is either Jill's personal army (because there was cowtipping on Twitter and she knows Alyssa ratted on her now), Taylor's army of tween girls who don't understand what an abusive relationship is, or the Ostrengas.

Anonymous 3986

It's neat that you were on irc too!
I've heard that it isn't totally uncommon for girls who frequent 4chan to use irc or have tried having relationships with guys from some of the trollier boards, but my attempts just didn't work out.

This is probably TMI too, but I'm actually really scared that I posted that above and now cc got raided, but I'm trying not to panic and just assuming it's the weekend raid moved earlier due to Christmas.

I'm usually a bit timid online because I worry that my ex from the one irc time period will find me. He was really controlling and even though it sounds stupid to have happened in online/ldr, he was really emotionally abusive. Like it's really interesting to me to hear you talk about lc because I've never actually been to the site because when I was with my boyfriend he had a list of websites he hated and that I wasn't allowed to go to or he'd get mad. I know it sounds stupid and I guess I'm just an idiot but I was with him for three years and haven't visited half the internet because he wouldn't let me and now I just feel too awkward to start trying so I just have my safe corner I stay in.
Anyway, sorry if that's all really too much infodump.

Anonymous 3987

Sorry to samefag, I guess I should say that when he got mad when I'd do something I wasn't supposed to he'd say stuff like that I had really disappointed him for not following his rules, or that we had agreed that I would follow his rules and that I was disrespecting him by breaking them, and that if I wasn't going to respect him we might as well break up, and that if we broke up he had a plan to kill himself with a loaded gun in a duffel bag and he would just go out in the woods behind his house. Sometimes he'd even completely go offline for a few hours to scare me. (He never went completely offline except those times, he had a huge set-up with a server and bots and other people's bots and people's programs running and stuff connected to his phone with 24/7 alerts but he would shut it all down and kill his server and everyone's programs they had running and then disappear just to make me think he'd gone to kill himself. Then he'd come back suddenly after everyone who was pissed off the server went down)

My parents have always been a bit shitty, so he was always the only friend I had, so if I lost him, I'd have no one. Some of the other troll guys would tell me to break up with him, and eventually I did but I really worry he'll find me some day because I just walked away one day and never came back and apparently he was really pissed.

I probably shouldn't say all this, sorry for tmi again, at least I'm slightly less jittery, lol?

Anonymous 3989


Nah anon, you're cool. I spent years in an abusive online relationship too, I know how emotionally damaging they can be, especially if you're not in a good place mental health wise. At least you got it off your chest. But you think he may lurk someday better not bring it up again.

Anonymous 3992

Thank you for responding so fast <3
It's funny that we have so much in common, and it's really soothing for me, because I thought for a really long time that it was just me, and that I'm an idiot (or that it's because I have Aspergers).

I'm sorry that you had a bad experience though. Do you worry about being found too? I guess we're talking about this in the right thread, but you don't have to talk about your experience if you don't want to, I'll understand. <3

Just for a bit of closure, I'll say about my experience that I really shouldn't worry because the last I heard about him, my boyfriend had been doing game reviews on youtube with a decent amount of subscribers, which is perfect for him because I think it was more about having an audience and a crowd of followers for him than anything.

He was never an Alpha himself, but in the larger irc group/channel he was a friend of an Alpha but always wanted to be an Alpha with a popular channel and a ton of friends. He had his own channel but not many people in it. Once he and I were officially a couple he literally advertised that I was a girl (he would honk stuff across the bots) and eventually guys started showing up on his channel to talk to me, usually for advice, but I also would just talk to them or joke around, which they seemed to like. Sometimes it would get really silly and we'd watch movies or have a group "slumber party". My bf was also addicted to online gaming so even though he said I had to be on irc with him from 4pm until 2am every day he was often off playing his game (with his in-game girlfiend that he used to roleplay sex with) so it was just me and his guys joking around or talking. Alot of them were really super nice, and I wish I could see them again. One guy even offered to buy me plane tickets to Austrailia to be with him to get me away from my bf after my bf really bitched at me publically in the thread.

They weren't all nice though, and my bf had this one recon guy who was a huge catty gossip who always started trouble. After I left, the recon guy convinced my bf to give out my real life actual email address across the bot but the worst emails I got out of the like five people who sent me anything were from Recon and my bf, the rest were quite pleasant and one told me everything that happened after I left and that my bf closed the channel because too many people came looking to see how I was doing at university, which was funny. After that, that was the end of it and my bf moved on and is doing videos and now is dating his former in-game girlfriend.

I actually feel better thinking about the funny times, so thank you for letting me vent <3
(I'll shut up now lol)

Anonymous 3993

(OP) I'm enjoying the discussion that has emerged from this and I'd love to keep reading them just in case anyone feels like they're derailing or anything

Anonymous 3994

Thank you for saying you enjoyed my rambling, lol <3
How did your situation end up going, OP?
(I might not reply tonight because I think I'll go to sleep, I think I wore myself out being so scared and then laughing and then now feeling weepy and missing old friends)

Anonymous 3996

Disgusting creatures. The lot of you.

Anonymous 3997

I thought the anon whining about the new troll technique was full of shit, but actually I'm starting to think they're right.

Anonymous 4037

Well, idk about the other anons but I was >>3989 and I'm legit.

Anonymous 4049

I'm the socially retarded idiot who posted >>3906 >>3918 >>3919 >>3950 >>3986 >>3987 >>3992

I've actually been writing more posts, especially about the guy from Austrailia, but it came out really long and reads more like a story, so I'm too embarassed to really post them and they're just sitting in a word document. I haven't written anything for fun (other than posts) in nearly a year, so I guess I owe OP and everyone in the thread a thank you for getting me back into writing. <3

Anonymous 4081

>How fucked am I?
You're just as fucked as you want, semi-famous miner. Does this girl give you reasons to be paranoid? Does she focus on gossip associated with your online persona? How invested is she in your relationship?? It's unlikely that someone would devote themselves completely to someone just to get gossip material out of them. If you like her you should give her a chance, but you shouldn't let your guard down until you meet her irl and she introduces you to her offline circle. Meanwhile don't tell her anything that you wouldn't want to be released, this should be obvious for every situation, even with people who remain mostly anonymous.

Anonymous 4102


I'm the opposite of this, I'm catching feels for a girl I'm catfishing. Pray for me

Anonymous 4104


No, anon! You need to stay to tell us the story, please.

Anonymous 4105

Why are you catfishing them?

Anonymous 5390

tell us more, please anon!

Anonymous 5406

You're a piece of shit. I pray that you leave this girl alone and that she doesn't/gotten invested in you.

Anonymous 6024

Wow I sure ruffled some feathers.

One of my friends (male) told me he suspects his gf of cheating on him. I befriended her online with someone else's photos but as a fellow girl. Hoping she would tell me about her love life. Long story short the male (my friend) was abusive to her and all her sneaking and asking about his schedule was in order to plan moving out without him realizing until she was gone.

Anonymous 6025

And you have a share of that abuse by partaking in his surveillance plot.
If you tell her, she will be broken. But if she's already emotionally invested in you, leaving without coming clean will only cause confusion and guilt. Anon I think your best option here is slowly stepping back and letting her lose interest by herself. There's no way out of this without someone being hurt.

Anonymous 36248

>I would not trust anyone in the lolcow discord as someone who has no online persona.
This. I wouldn't trust a person who's part of a community who feeds off of other people's apparent flaws. lolcow is r9k tier to me

Anonymous 36280

Oh wow. I've actually had similar experience. Turns out you cannot trust anyone if you're even remotely famous, unless they're independently successful themselves. (I'm not even a famous persona or anything close to that, just well known in a niche online community.) You shouldn't be paranoid but just careful and be slow on letting people into your private life, and bail if someone seems super impatient to get near you.

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