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/feels/ - Advice & Venting

Talk about relationships of all kinds, ask for advice, or just vent

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Please read the rules! Last update: 04/27/2021


Single Pringles Anonymous 3963

Singles general. How long have you been single? How do you feel about it?

Anonymous 3964

Op that picture is triggering me as if it was wrong to be 24 and single reeeeeeee. People get married way too early btw.

Anonymous 3974


lol at least you're not in your late 30's or something OP

Anonymous 3977

I am literally a kissless virgin. Can I get my refund for the so called easy-mode, 'cause it really didn't work with me.
i'm 18 but still no good feel

Anonymous 3991

I'm recently single for the first time in over 10 years. Even though on the surface I seem like a really independent person, I've only ever understood myself as someone else's girlfriend. I'm having a really hard time understanding what the point of anything is if I'm not doing it for someone else, but I know that that's a sign that I really need to be single and figure out how to live for myself, I just have no idea how to do it.

Anonymous 4000

I've never been in a serious relationship and am also a megavirgin, but I've accepted that it's better to be single for now given my mental health. I need to work on myself inside and out before even considering adding another person into the mix.

That said, it still feels lonely since I've fantasized about settling down since I was ten.

Anonymous 4013

been single for 3 years. had one serious relationship in my life, but i'm still a virgin and also lonely af, especially lately.
would love to get some new people in my life because i don't even have many friends which also makes me feel upset a lot..
with years i'm getting worse and worse at talking with people, it's so hard to even make small talk with course mates in uni without making myself look like a fool.

Anonymous 4014

It'll already go downhill in mid 20s.
Seeing everyone of your former classmates and your friends getting married or pregnant or having some longterm relationship, parents being like "your younger sister got herself a nice boyfriend why can't you?" and every guy you meet that's not completely hideous, not an ass** and no weirdo is already is taken …
For me it pretty much started around 25-26.
I had one shortterm relationship with 27.

Anonymous 4015

Around three months now.

Pissed because he was so spineless about it and of course he didn't put much effort into the relationship. So I lost a lot from it. Hope the next girl cheats on him.

Anonymous 4018

Depends where you live.

I'm 27 and probably 90% of the people I know around my age are unmarried.

Still sucks though, so I hear ya. I haven't dated for around 4 years. By choice because I hated where I lived and didn't want to deal with some asshole getting in the way of things. I've moved, but hate where I moved to, so yet another year as a singleton. I got fat and ugly (fugly lol) though, so am gonna spend the next 6 months getting fit so I can finally begin dating….

Anonymous 4032

The OP picture is going to be me in January it seems.

I'm currently 23 and the only relationships I've had were online with men that were on the other side of the planet from me. I have never held hands, kissed, or done anything with someone special and…the more the years go by – the more nervous I feel about giving away my firsts to anyone. Is that weird?
There was this guy I had a crush on who expressed that he liked me back, but I'm pretty sure I got too clingy because he ended up saying he didn't feel the same after some time.
I basically fucked up any chances I had of being in a relationship and now…I don't even know if it'll ever happen to me.

I focus on my art, which has been keeping me generally sane while I work through the emotions of being single, but sometimes when I see the couples walking through the mall – I get overwhelmingly upset.
I'm a very affectionate person, someone who would think the world of their significant other – flurries of I love yous, handmade lunches, etc.

Your typical housewife/mom kinda deal.

So not being able to express this affectionate side of me is hurting me mentally.
I feel lonely, I feel depressed, but I'm too overwhelmingly self-conscious.

It's not fun, I don't think I'll ever be in a relationship…

Anonymous 4033


>>I'm currently 23 and the only relationships I've had were online with men that were on the other side of the planet from me
>>I'm a very affectionate person, someone who would think the world of their significant other – flurries of I love yous, handmade lunches, etc.
>>So not being able to express this affectionate side of me is hurting me mentally.

Damn, anon. Are you me? With the exception I'm 25 and I was 17~18ish when I had my last IRL connection with a boy. After that only a long and intense ldr. I wouldn't say I'm totally inexperienced when it comes to romance because I'm not, but I feel the exact way you described. I know it hurts. Idk how I'd manage to have a normal face to face relationship with someone from here… No idea. I don't know how to start normal relationships if that makes any sense.

Sending good vibes.

Anonymous 4034


Thank you anon! It totally makes sense haha, I wish you the best of luck!
Sending you good vibes!

Anonymous 4043

I know I shouldn't get too upset over it, but here goes.

I'm 24 and single (op pic got me right on the dot), a complete virgin in all areas, with what little relationship experience I have coming from one shitty "ldr" I had online in jr. high and 2 total guys I've dated in person. Each of those guys lasted two dates with me before I broke it off, and each time it's always been because I can't see myself being in a relationship beyond just dates. I can only see myself dating them, but can't for the life of me see a life beyond that with them, and my lack of experience definitely knocks my self-esteem down when I think about dating anyone; both times I've reached the 2nd date with the prior 2 guys, I've gone from being open to dating/agreeing to date them, to just not being interested at all and cutting the relationship off before it goes any farther because I don't know what else to do.

What knocks me about my experience, though, is that I want to find someone, and I want to enjoy a good love experience, but I can't find someone here who would be even close to ideal for a first full relationship (anyone that has shown interest, excluding one, has been a sketchy fucker from the start), and I fear that I'll reach that age where it's so hard to find someone who would take an inexperienced virgin for a full relationship. And I'm scared that somehow I'll end up being too hopeful for a good relationship that I'll be totally naive about someone being a complete asshat. I want to be devoted, I want to snuggle and cuddle with a guy and not be a total hardass on the second date, I want to hold hands and be super shy around him when he looks at me, but I can't bring myself to fall for someone when I can't foresee a future with anyone beyond a normal date setting..

>flurries of I love yous, handmade lunches, etc
Also I hate that I love these things reading them, but I've also been the kind of person that got upset over having a long conversation that cost me minutes on a prepaid cell phone. I think I'm just not capable of doing the relationship thing at all..

Anonymous 4044

Wifey down in your twenties = become the wine on the couch mother in your 40s.

Don't waste your golden years lmao. Go and travel and learn everything you possible can about everything ever.

Anonymous 4046


But I am wasting my golden years being lonely and depressed.

Anonymous 4051

Is it weird to not have a desire to date, nor to be attracted to anyone emotionally, physically or mentally? Even the "hot" guys in my inner circle I can talk to just fine and hang with without having the urge to fuck them or the desire to start a relationship. I feel like something broke me for me to be this way. It's weird because I haven't always been like that.

The urge for me to have a bf/gf and try to settle down is just nonexistent. I kind of don't want it to be like that because dying old and alone sucks.

Anonymous 4055

kinda same actually. it definitely feels weird, especially now when everyone i graduated high school with is getting married and having families, and i'm just here like "yeah nah i dont want a relationship right now".

but i think that when you get to the point that you meet someone you really like, and your brain ticks on like "hey, this person's pretty neat", you'll be able to find that desire to settle if they really are the one you want to spend the rest of your life with.

Anonymous 4085

You act like guys arent fuckboys.

Anonymous 4103

The being around my family and doing the stuff we do for the holidays was nice, but I can't stop wishing that I had someone to share it all with, and a child to pass it all on too, or thinking about how in a few years my family will be gone and all of this will end and I'll just be miserable and alone.

Anonymous 4111

21. Never had a bf but I did go on dates, albeit they were all first dates. I have not dated in like a year. Like 2 friends tell me to settle or lower my standards, when finding someone. My standards are reasonable. (take care of yourself, dress, look and be nice)
I'm wary around guys and I can really only talk to guys online on Overwatch. That or unless I know he is quieter than me where I get some sort of confidence to talk.

I'm still young, but sooner or later I want to find someone to be with ugh… Guess I'll stick to being on and off on okcupid…

Anonymous 4261

Posted this in the wrong thread, sorry.

I'm in my mid twenties and I've never had sex so I hope I can do it this year, even though I don't think virginity is shameful. I doubt I'll meet anyone important and I'm not degenerate and filthy enough to pay for it since that's repulsive, but I want get dicking from any guy that isn't too shitty to me and then drop him because as I already explained, I doubt we will develop deep feelings for each other. It's just curiosity, nothing more. But I do wish things were different and that I would just fall in love with him and he with me… I wish someone would say "hey anon, wait because you're gonna meet him soon" but tbh that's not necessary since I don't think I'll find a dick wielder or a man to fall in love with anyway…

Anonymous 4267


But you're forgetting that food can go bad, and that it would make anyone dumb enough to eat it very sick.

Now get out, Robot.

Anonymous 4271


Everything you wrote applies 100x to men than it does women. Men are the entitled little shits who need to lower their standards. Men are the ones who reject and violently shit upon women for something as little as not being skinny, while being the fatter gender themselves and having both women and society pat their ass for being disgusting ugly motherfuckers. An incel is really just a fat ugly guy who thinks he's entitled to a woman way out of his league and turns violent when he doesn't get his way. Get fucked.

Anonymous 4273



>This is generally the default position of most imageboard dwellers and most men in general


Anonymous 4275


IKR???? Does this faggot think he's fooling anyone? Lol holy shit men are so fucking retarded what in the literal fuck?


Okay fucko, then explain to me why men on dating sites send almost all of their messages to the top 2/3 of women when women send their messages on a near perfect bellcurve? Oh, that's right, because men are entitled, delusional shits and you're a flat out liar.


Anonymous 4278


Then why are men so evil and stupid they can't use a website for it's intended purpose? Women are perfectly capable of using a dating site to find dates- what the fuck is so wrong with men that they can't follow simple instructions?

You keep trying to make excuses but you just keep digging the hole deeper for how bad your gender looks.

Anonymous 4279

Oh so it's another episode of Nice Guy vs Stacy

Anonymous 4281


>Well done on once again equating men with the group of men who use OkCupid.

OH honey, there's lots of other studies that prove you act the same shitty way everywhere, okupid is just an example.

>Maybe because men don't want to date that way?

So what you're saying is men are so fucking arrogant and selfish they won't use a website properly because of what they want. The hole gets deeper and deeper and deeper.

>I have always wanted to use this phrase

And I bet you thought is was going to be so cool when you said it, but it's not, it's fucking retarded.

Anonymous 4283


Good job, what an annoying faggot thinking his sad posts are going to change everyone's minds

Anonymous 4284


So are you going to bother to delete his comments or is this lc 2.0?

Anonymous 4285

As if we've never been on a male imageboard or forum before. This bitch thinks we're that gullible holy shit lel.

Anonymous 4287

Anyone else here have troubles being single, as if you NEED a partner to feel ok?

Anonymous 4288


Forgot pic, sorry.

Anonymous 4294

I'm almost sad that these posts are gone because I was reading this thread during work and thought of some mighty sassy responses.
>all i want is a partner who loves and respects me as much as i love and respect them
>proceeds to come onto female-centered image-board, flagrantly violate the rules, call everyone who disagrees with him sociopathic or 'damaged', shift the blame onto women for having trust issues after being treated like shit by men

if that's the 'respect' that he's capable of, no wonder he's single. do we have a cringe thread? this belongs in the cringe thread.

Anonymous 4295

I really like being single, but that's probably because I've been in some horrific relationships before and this seems like a better alternative. There's no one berating me for taking too long to respond to their texts or not spending enough time with them, there's no jealousy when I choose to spend a night with my friends instead of my significant other, there's nobody going through my phone or my e-mails without my permission. I think it's better to take your time and wait for someone who's a good 'fit' for you, as opposed to just trying to get into a relationship for the sake of being not-single anymore.

Anonymous 4296


I've never had the feeling I needed a partner, emotionally to make clear, but for sexual satisfaction yes. The satisfaction also has to come from somebody I am committed long-term too, so not a one night stand ordeal. It's complicated and I wish I wasn't this way. I almost feel dependent on the person for my satisfaction.

Anonymous 4310

I feel dirty when I do sexual stuff with anyone who's not in a committed relationship with me uh

Anonymous 4354

do you think spending time on forums specifically dedicated to keeping out men is the cause of the problem and that more interaction and comprehension of men would help get rid of the problem. or is it a lowering of standards that would help. this isnt critical im really concerned about the effect of online time on social life or if its just a simpler matter

Anonymous 4356

Men as a whole arent unsavable imo. It's just the retard men who spend way too much time on the internet who are the problem. They don't represent the totality of men and this forum doesn't exist because we hate males or have crazy standards.
As long as you don't spend your entire time browsing chans you will know it's not that complex.
I believe you're male, read the FAQ

Anonymous 4411

It's probably catastrophically unhealthy, but I just don't care about my own life, and therefore only do things to not look like a mess, so having an SO would mean that I'd constantly have to not look like a mess.

JFC I really am a mess.

Anonymous 4449

hi, married 30 year old
i met my husband at 27, never seen him before, we got married last year, probably having kids by 2019
before that i was single and without any viable option for 6 to 7 years, before that i only had a couple 2 month relationships.
start worrying at 35-40

Anonymous 4489

You're absolutely right. I understand people fear the future and all, but this is what usually happens to the people who don't find their spouses very early.

Anonymous 4508

You clearly don’t understand how to read a graph. See how the women rate men much lower on the scale? If there aren’t any men that they rate 5 to begin with, how would they even be capable of sending messages to a lot of them? That isn’t a fair comparison, you should be comparing the ratios between rating and message rate, not the raw message rate alone.

Anonymous 38760

I'm just afraid getting in a relationship would end up being a waste and would help with any of the problems I'm having and I think the realisation that my problems are deeper than needing an emotional crutch would send me down the rabbit hole

Anonymous 38947

I've been single for a year now. My last relationship was awful because my bf was a dumb military jock. We exchanged very cheesy letters during his serving time, which was like solace to me. He would write sweet nothings about offering me all his time and attention in the world. However when he got back, he immediately got to ignoring me. He would just be online posting about how he wants to fuck art hoes (which I'm not) and write paragraphs about Satoshi Kon movies. I ended up breaking up with him, to which he started sadposting about his ex he dated for like 3 weeks before he dated me.

It was honestly a blow to my confidence and I'm glad I ended things with that military NEET.

Anonymous 38948

>top two thirds
I had to do a double take when I remembered two thirds was a majority. Men send most of their messages to a majority of women.

Anonymous 38954


>tfw pretty sure this was me
>tfw still single
Oh well, at least my mental health is better. I was a whole ass other person that year and had just stopped self-harming; now I love myself and have two good frens.

Anonymous 38958

>How long have you been single?
23 yrs
>How do you feel about it?
i feel

Anonymous 39003

>How long have you been single?
22 years
>How do you feel about it?
I honestly don't care that I'm single.

Anonymous 100935

You're late.

Anonymous 101006

Technically 18 year old virgin is the moids waifu prize

Anonymous 101008

>How long have you been single?
a year if you count a flimsy online relationships LOL, if not than 18 years

>How do you feel about it?

it's getting hard to romanticize the situation.

Anonymous 101009

>how long have you been single?
a litle over 2 months
>how do you feel about it?
great! i realized i prefer being single than being in a relationship

Anonymous 101013

Anon, it's been 5 years. She is a 23 year old virgin by now.

Anonymous 101204

No people get married way too late these days.
If you want a family you have to start early.
Especially if you'd like to meet your grandchildren before you die.

Anonymous 101209

scrotes will still fight to the death for their precious virgin uwuwaifu whether they're 18 or 28 - they're painfully predictable

Anonymous 101211

False. I'm a 26 year old virgin now and guys are so repeled by that, I haven't been able to get one functioning man yet.

Anonymous 101246

31 years. I found the perfect man, befriended him and waited years for his relationship to end. I thought I just had to wait for him to get over it and we could be a couple. Now he's talking about donating sperm and giving up on relationships because he doesn't think he'll ever start a family.

I feel pretty fucking bad.

Anonymous 101251


> Implying there are functioning men

Anonymous 101293

When you're 29 and single

Anonymous 101325


>How long have you been single?

Always, I think. I tried going on a movie date back in high school but it just felt like two friends hanging out and I didn't go on a second one. We were both too awkward so it never turned into anything else, anyway..despite how many times we've ran into eachother since, even in very unexpected places, and that he recently contacted me.

I was head over heels for someone for several years, had asked them out several times and always gotten rejected, but when they finally accepted, they ghosted me afterwards so nothing ever came of that either. It would have just ended up being an LDR at best anyway and I don't think I can handle one of those.

>How do you feel about it?

I've spent my whole life only having imaginary boyfriends and girlfriends but I do feel like they aren't enough anymore. I see several couples almost every day here, holding/swinging hands, and always feel kind of sad and jealous that can't be me. My time is running out fast to be "young and in love", if it hasn't already.

Anonymous 101334

"just because you can, does it mean you should?"

Anonymous 101335

nah i'm mentally strong and i have things going for me in my life :)

Anonymous 101337

this lol
why do people who are weak and feel miserable alone want to drag the ones who do great being single in their spiral of whining?
every time i bring up being content or more like actually happy alone, someone has to invalidate my experience. its so fucking weird and annoying. its like they feel threatened by it or something. cry me a river lmao

Anonymous 101359

kek moid cope

Anonymous 101361

People act like it's impossible to be happy alone so it feels worth sharing an experience that's apparently different from the norm

Anonymous 101363

bet you're one of the coping whiny pissbabies who wants everyone to be miserable too. how does it feel defending your totally not forced viewpoint online?

Anonymous 101364

yeah to them sharing your experience and being like "no, im actually happy" when someone says youre not equals being desperately defending and coping. if you scroll up the thread you'll see the first derailment in "uhh akshually u will be miserable LOL" wasnt from nonas who are single and glad but by… scrotes? frustrated tradthots? i dont even know what they are but one thing for sure is ill not only stay away from moid romantic prospects but also from whatever fuming ball of cope and desperation this category of people is LOL

Anonymous 101366

i dont know how ill ever recover from this insane GOTCHA

Anonymous 101367

wdyt of the bf hate thread lol

Anonymous 101370

wdym imageboards are fun thats why im here. do you need to be successful to be happy?

Anonymous 101379

"women" you mean the 10/10 stacies who have the lookist effect to get everything handed to them. average women dont have this bargaining power.
obviously women lose in dating, but for different reasons, because unless you're born with high tier genetics, you're stuck with low EQ scrotes, hebephiles, abusers. you're an entitled, delusional male who only sees the 20th percentile.

Anonymous 101381

>>"delusional male who only sees the 20th percentile"
>has to disprove me by showing he only sees the top 20
like clockwork kek.

Anonymous 101383

Every woman I personally know actually cares about her man and tries to be self sufficient and pays for herself. It seems like you simply have never seen what an actual loving long-term relationship where both parties tries their best to carry their weight looks like and people like you are no better than the ones you complain about because of how transaction-based you all are.

Anonymous 101384

Even pretty women get treated like shit. No actually why do I always see them stuck in the shittiest relationships?? With really controlling behavior from the male.

Anonymous 101385

pretty women are indoctrinated into being pickmes the most

Anonymous 101386

Im 23 and still a virgin. I think this is a combo result of growing up with overprotective parents, questioning my sexuality, and not having a strong bond with someone enough to want to start anything. The only irl man I ever thought about sexually was when I was 18 and severally depressed. I met him online, and he was twice my fucking age.

I’ve gone out with guys before, but haven’t continued anything seriously. My first/only kiss felt like kissing a brick wall. My emotional bond level with this person wasn’t ideal. Im self aware enough to know that I crave romance, emotional connection, and eventual intimacy. Men my age have been attracted to me, but none of them have really sparked anything within me. The only guy that genuinely makes me feel like I have butterflies in my stomach is in a relationship.

Realistically, I could sleep , but the concept repulses me. I don’t want to just fuck someone without trust and emotional connection. Then again, I’m so lonely, At one point I fantasied about paying a guy of my choice to do the deed with and tell him to role play likes he’s my partner.

To cope I listen to music, so artsy shit, read fanfic, and obsess over fictional characters that I feel a connection to. They make me feel less alone, but I still crave a real relationship.

Anonymous 101390

Yeah wtf is that? I'm dead serious when I say most of the really pretty girls I've ever known ended up in almost cultlike relationshit. On the surface it would look normal, but behind the scenes the controlling behavior and dumb DUMB shit she would put up with would increasingly become known

Anonymous 101391

i doubt it works that way nona

Anonymous 101392

gonna hard looksmaxx to become stacy so i can avoid the hebephiles and abusers

Anonymous 101393

Yeah, I don’t think I’d actually do it. But the thought does come up every now and then. I mean, i do think if I went through with it, it would make me feel a bit empty. Maybe worse.

Anonymous 101394



That sounds alot like my circumstances. I had the opportunity to lose my virginity but chose not to because I didn't trust the person and it would have turned into a FWB at best, and I hate FWBs. I'm a hopeless romantic, so I never want to sleep outside of a relationship and without emotional intimacy. Doing otherwise feels gross, cheap, and insulting.

but I also cope with things like that allow me to self-insert, like otome/shoujo and J-dramas, at the moment. They have so many different premises that are so specifically relatable - Like being an almost middle-age virgin, having overprotective parents, being a geek with no social life, etc. etc. that allow them to be easily self-insertable. Now if the part where they spontaneously meet and get in a relationship with a bishounen, was relatable too.

Anonymous 101418


I get what you mean, . Watching anime? like Princess jellyfish, and self inserting as these geeky female characters, who are somewhat awkward, but have a transformation into a more appealing or desirable version of themselves, is very appealing. I feel like I’ve gone through a “transformation stage” where I seem more desirable. But the true connection with another person and relationship is where things haven’t happened yet. It sucks to be so emotional about it. like you said, I’m very much a hopeless romantic as well, but combo that with being nihilistic too.

Anonymous 101431

tell her what?

Anonymous 101874

I will always be single because i find oral sex on men to be the worst psychologically terrorizing piglike humiliation possible in existence, I have a severe pornphobia, I can't be like other women MENTALLY (can't be a pickme, slut etc), have a high self esteem and high self preservation/I can't be a doormat in anyway, I'm not servile, I can't tolerate ANY bullshit… Ehh it all makes me feel blackpilled. Why couldn't womanhood be normal. It all gave me extreme depression.

Anonymous 101875

there are (few) men who would be more than okay with that nona.
i find you admirable and wish you luck in finding one of the few decent scrotes out there.

Anonymous 101972

>i find oral sex on men to be the worst psychologically terrorizing piglike humiliation possible in existence
I'm curious, if a moid told you they felt that way about going down on you, what would your response be?

Anonymous 101979

not the person you're responding to, but i don't think anyone should be forced to be doing anything sexual that they don't want to. if a man doesn't want to give oral sex, fine. if a woman doesn't want to give oral sex, that's ok too.

Anonymous 101986

Lots of men already say that, lol. And many way worse things. They don't feel the pressure to give pleasure like women are made to do.

Anonymous 101988

I rather be single than date an ugly or overweight man. Most of them have too much fat somehow like I just can't do it. I would only wanna date an attractive person but unfortunately as women we don't have this privilege lol?

Anonymous 101989

The act is literally not the same, tired of this question. It's just not equal

Anonymous 101990

i don't get what people have against overweight men. if anything i'd think it would be a common preference given the obesity rate in many first world countries.

Anonymous 101991

>if anything i'd think it would be a common preference given the obesity rate
I think it's settling more than anything. Everyone seems beatdown by life; they don't take care of themselves, chase some vice to quell the void, and just fall into some complacent relationship

Anonymous 101993

That's fine, assuming of course you're not fat and ugly yourself.
You aren't, are you?

Anonymous 101996

No I was never fat or overweight but if I was I would still want a chad but if you're a woman then you shouldn't be mad at this tbh lol it's normal to want an attractive partner but all moids are ugly or have too much body fat and the chad ones don't want a committed relationship. All moids who date at least can have attractive partners cause women are rarely ugly. It sucks but I'm an adult virgin who was always incapable of being a pickme and has a bunch of phobias like porn and males and degradation so I never really wanted to date anyone and 4/5 of my real crushes were not that attractive yet they won, they got the bimbos to date and all were horrible and caused me some trauma bc of many reasons

Anonymous 101998

Not fat but they have too much body fat still which gives then a weird look with no definition, double chin etc lol

Anonymous 102008

literally just replace any rice or bread with vegetables and keep the meat the same. you will lose a lot of weight. replace desserts for diet soda etc…

Anonymous 102039

I've got skunk genes. Everyone on my dad's side has either gotten cancer or a stroke young. I don't think it's fair to have a kid. Been single for 5 years now, unsure how to have a partner with that as an opener.

Anonymous 102158

fukn same. i've got cancer, heart disease and osteoporosis throughout my family, with schizophrenia and early onset alzheimer’s added on top. Ironically, I've hated all the other child-free people I've met in person. They've universally been hipsters that want to be travelling India for the 7th time at 50, smug corpo-worshipping "environmentalists" and abrasive, self-satisfied anti-natalists that think being depressed is a personality. It'd be cruel for me to curse a kid like my grand-parents did to my aunt who got schizophrenia AND muscular dystrophy; but I still think about adopting.

Just recently a guy I liked mentioned his family having a history of cancer and I was actually excited to hear it. I should've known from his height, build and lack of sick days it was too good to be true, since it turns out his family is extremely genetically healthy and long-lived, it's just the few alcoholics that get cancer, and of course, he wants as many kids as his future partner is willing to have. fml.

Anonymous 102174

Replying to this post to say this is almost the exact same as my story.

Anonymous 102369

>because I can't see myself being in a relationship beyond just dates.
Maybe you just need to change the way you think about relationships?
Don't think of them as dates if that's the problem.
Think of the person as a friend you want to spend time with, it's a lot less intimidating when you treat it like a budding friendship.
Joke and tease the person you're going out with instead of treating it like an interview.
You can work out the details later, just find out if you enjoy each other's company first.

Anonymous 102371

>for something as little as not being skinny
This is the easiest thing to fix about a person if they have the drive to do so.
It's a lot harder to fix facial features or other body imperfections when it comes to appearance.
Just remember that not all body positivity is good advice.
Some women will claim that dieting isn't health and that being hungry is starving yourself.
While they're right that you should outright starve yourself, in order to loose weight there has to be a calorie deficient, and a slight hunger is inevitable in the weight loss journey.
I've lost nearly 30lbs since I started and nearly all of it had been from counting my calories for the day as I eat my meals.
I feel a lot better as I reach small mile stones and it boosts my self esteem as I feel slimmer.
If you do start, set a goal and when you reach it evaluate if you want to go further and what your ideal weight should be in order to be healthy, the last thing anyone should want is to become anorexic.
Also it's important that shortcuts aren't taken, no vomiting up food, or going cold turkey.

Anonymous 102392

Khhv in my 20s. I didn’t care in my teen years because I wasn’t very conscious about the differences between the two sexes like my peers were. A lot of singles say they get jealous when they see couples outside, but to me they exist in another world I can't fathom so I kind of just feel like an old man when I see couples and feel happy for them. After I did go through a phase where I started to think about love, became more conscious of the male sex, and started worrying about never finding someone but ever since I gained self-esteem now I have this attitude of "if it happens, it happens". What are the chances of finding a 'soulmate’, and how many actual happy long-term marriages do you know? Yeah, I might as well not fret over it. Want family and companionship? I already have a big family and have friends for companionship. Want kids? If I can't have my own I can adopt, work in childcare, or look after my relatives’ children. Love? Fantasizing is enough, I can't truly want something I never experienced so my desire for love is just a mirage built on secondhand expectations and love is not limited to just romantic love. Sex? I can masturbate by myself. This idea that society feeds women about needing to settle down is a scam, rushing to settle down out of desperation will most likely result in an unhappy marriage and family later on. I don't want to feel pressured to rush into a relationship with someone I don't love deeply because of le wall and le fertility meme, I would rather put more work into soul searching. I also used to be afraid of missing out on young love, but now I realize this was a retarded idea I had constructed because intense love is not age-exclusive. I don't want to feel loved by a man because he wants me for my youth or to be his bangmaid or incubator.

Also now I think about it realistically, can I really be around someone 24/7? I enjoy people's company like I appreciate my friends but just imagining having to be around the presence of someone else constantly is exhausting, I think I'm better off alone with a few friends and family to hang out with whenever I'm lonely. The more realistically I think about it the more I realize I don't want to be involved intimately with other people when I have to do my own things.

Anonymous 102394

I think it's sad when women get desperate and think they will never be loved from hanging around scrote spaces. Male spaces with their brain rot and how they view women and relationships is just insanity. Thankful I never became desperate enough to be a real pickme for some incel.

True I just don't think it's something to worry about so much, like the wall meme or not being 'desirable'. Sometimes watching the way people act and court each other in relationships just makes me uncomfortable I just want to meet someone naturally. Also in many long term marriages and relationships moids cheat at some point so, yeah I'm just not going to focus too much energy on the male sex with how unpredictable moid behavior truly is. I'm open to relationship opportunities, but I'm not going to be actively seeking men.

Anonymous 102417

I’ve been single my whole life and I’m 25 now. It doesn’t upset me because it’s been largely my choice, I think. Even the times when I went on dates and the guy ghosted me, I never felt that upset because I couldn’t imagine myself dating him anyway. That’s the problem. Even when I see hot guys, I usually think ‘he’s hot, but I don’t think I could date him.’ So then what do I want?

Maybe I think I want a boyfriend and I actually don’t. Or maybe I’m really avoidant or something. But I have intense, parasocial crushes sometimes so I think that speaks to some kind of desire. Maybe my brain is broken. I don’t know what I want. I think I want to love and care for someone, but there isn’t anyone out there who feels ‘right.’

Anonymous 102477

One time I almost scored a hvm who went to harvard but I stood him up last second on our date because when I arrived to the agreed upon destination, the store was closed (we were meant to browse vintage old thrift books but the owners went out for lunch)
We had great texting chemistry. I’m too shy and autistic to change from texting conversations to irl conversations. I did meet him in class and barely talked to him but somehow he wanted to go on a date with me (he likes shy awkward girls I think?)
After that, he felt like I ghosted him and stopped talking to me. I feel bad, I wonder what could’ve become of us if I stuck around the closed bookstore and meeting with him instead panicking and ditching the would be date …
Pretty interesting lad. I wonder what became of him five years later…

Anonymous 102479

nona… i feel like slapping you in the face in the gentlest way possible. why did you do that??
if i were in you, i'd contact him again (chances are he has a gf now but who knows) and when you're comfortable enough with each other again, tell him what actually happened and apologize. i think there's still a chance…

Anonymous 102482

I know I feel like such a stupid head. Ridiculous to think that I still think of him and he has most likely moved on with his life. I don’t know if he has a girlfriend but he seemed ready to date seriously at the time of my meeting him, so most likely he has one by now, someone who is as attractive and smart as him no doubt.
He is probably doing very well now, he is one of those rare types of genius men who graduate school early and pursues academics with ease, but is on the verge of breaking new discoveries and research because he still puts in the effort and discipline. I don’t know if I explained that very well, but he isn’t one of those slacker genius types, he’s always on the move and busy. His masters supervisor won the Nobel prize in physics, he is most likely done his PhD by now

Anonymous 102483

he does sound like a catch nona, do you think you might try your chance again?
i think that maybe someone as smart as he is might be very selective about partners, so who knows, maybe he hasn't found his one yet.
damn i wish i had a bf like that

Anonymous 102489

A foreign guy has asked me on a date and he's so sweet. I understand he's not looking for anything serious and is gonna leave in a month or so. But he's so sweet I don't mind just having fun with him. Am I an idiot?

Anonymous 102493

Probably not, it's been 5 years. I have been on the opposite side of this situation before. I have been contacted by another guy five years later and you get flattered and all, but then sometimes you think it's creepy. There's a reason why I didn't reach out to him, you just forget about people.

>i think that maybe someone as smart as he is might be very selective about partners

Definitely this. There are some studies floating around out there where PhD holders and high IQ people have less relationships and sexual relations compared to the rest of the population. That, and the fact that doing a bloody PhD sucks all your freetime so you are barely even able to date casually. All the time invested in dating must be high quality, otherwise your relationship will go nowhere and you wasted both parties' time.

Anonymous 102494

All that cope. What's the worst that could happen? Slight embarrassment on your side and the moid feels flattered, at most. Just contact him on the pretense of wanting to know his opinion about something of his expertise if you want to save face

Anonymous 102495

>How long have you been single?
My entire life. The concept of having a relationships feels so utterly alien to me at this point that I have trouble imagining myself in one.
>How do you feel about it?
Awful. I'm 24 and thinking about my future makes me have a panic attack. It recently hit me that it's not going to "just happen" as I always thought because I'm so introverted that there's no way for me to ever meet anyone.

Anonymous 103644

>How long have you been single?
My whole life.
>How do you feel about?
At my age (early 30s) it feels as if being able to find the type of people who are into you and who you're also into is essentially a fundamental life skill that you ought to have developed by this point in your life. It's a bit like knowing how to tie your shoes or ride a bike. Being unable to do those things past a certain age is pathetic and makes you seem a bit slow. And then when I see people who are both mentally and physically unattractive but are in relationships it makes me lose respect for myself because it must mean those people are better "problem-solvers" than I am. Of course, if someone is unattractive but fairly smart/interesting/funny/etc then I don't think much of it but I'm talking about the people who truly have nothing going for them.

Anonymous 103652

Literally me

Anonymous 103701

What do you people think of the idea that you should be mentally healthy and capable of tolerating singleness before entering a relationship? Asking because I’d like to find someone to date but I feel like I need to fix my own shit first. On the other hand, maybe being less lonely would help me do that…..?

Anonymous 103705

I feel like that's just something people say because it's an easy way to dismiss lonely people's problems.

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