Vent thread Anonymous 46828
Last thread was >>45059
vent your worries and frustrations
I haven't seen or spoken to my mother in a couple of years. I've been thinking about her recently and I just feel frustrated and angry.
Growing up she was emotionally abusive, had an animal hoarding problem, and had a steady stream of online boyfriends who would move in only after talking to her for two weeks (two of whom were convicted pedophiles). One of the dogs she had "adopted" had fleas and they ended up infesting the entire house. When I told her they were biting me and that the itching was driving me insane she said it was "all in my head." I seriously believe this is the root of my obsessive compulsive disorder, I am almost thirty and I still pick my scabs when I am bored or stressed.
I used to have to hide my Christmas money, or else she would take it and spend it on drugs or booze for her boyfriend. She is up to her ears in debt, she has claimed bankruptcy twice and was in the middle of a consumer proposal last I heard of her. After I moved out she would constantly ask me if she could use my name on utility and cable accounts. I always told her no, since I knew she was responsible. After, she tried to convince me that "it was normal for parents to know their children's social insurance numbers." When I told my aunt (her sister) about this she rightfully freaked the fuck out on my mom. I was too young and naive at the time to realize, but by asking me that she was attempting to steal my identity.
After university I had to move in with her temporarily. The mountain town she lived in did not have a branch for my bank so when she was going into the city I asked her to deposit it. It was a full two weeks of pay (so $1000+ dollars). She somehow was able to cash it and she spent it on clothes for her and her boyfriend at the time. God only knows what else they spent it on, I suspect drugs. She never paid me back, when I confronted her about it she told me to "consider it rent" even though I was paying her an already agreed upon amount. This made our already rocky relationship very tense for a long while.
The last time I spoke to her was when I confronted her about another $1500 she owed me (I was dumb enough to add her to my cellular plan, believing she had changed after a few years, and she inflated the bill with international calls). I was out $1500 because I had to pay this phone bill to avoid ruining my credit. Coincidentally around the same time, I was also getting kicked out of my ex's home and I was going to end up homeless unless I could pay first and last somewhere else. She blocked me, and that was the last I heard of her. I ended up having to live with my dismissive father and resentful stepmother for six months in order to save and bounce back from the loss.
How do other anons deal with their mothers treating them like they are nothing? I don't see the difference between the way she treats me and the way she treats any other creditor. Whenever I talk to girls who are close with their mothers I feel so envious.
I'm very sorry that you had to go through all that, and with your own mother no less. She obviously doesn't care for you as she took advantage of you multiple times. You just have to acknowledge and accept that she's really bad for you and cut ties, no one deserves that kind of treatment, specially not from their own parent.
I relate to this on so many levels and sympathize with you totally..
Do you think your mum lacked self awareness?
I am the only one who actually talks to my mum out of all her kids and it is because I hate myself and do not care how horrible she is.
Did you ever feel like it was your fault for getting scammed by your mum because you were silly enough to get outplayed?
I do not live with my mother now so she is unable to steal from me but when she did I just did not care despite always making a fuss.
Do you think your mum is a cluster B or borderline??
Have you been considering talking to her again or thinking just about how horrible she was.
Your post gives off a feeling that you just want to be loved as you should be by your mum and not treated like trash..
Please do not let your mum get you down despite the damage already being done…
Sometimes it is best to just cut people out of your life. Do you think you could have a relationship if you just denied her all requests to get your bux?
I'm so ugly and unappealing that I quite honestly feel literal, actual guilt for even being attracted to women, or imagining myself with a cute gf.
The more weight I lose, and the better my skin gets, just makes me realize my trainwreck facial structure is undeniable. A cute girl is never going to look my way. I am never going to understand how ugly men are so bold as to aim for super gorgeous women (and to that end, I am never going to understand why beautiful women get with hideous men).
Can't even drool over pretty kpop stars because I feel like I'm commiting a crime.
Life can be so cruel.. I wish I knew what to say to make you cheer up.
Never say never though you might meet a cute girl or you might not but hopefully you do end up feeling loved and in love.
I want to tell my crush I like him but I don't think he even knows I exist, much less cares about me. I'm fucking terrified of him rejecting me, but I'm also fucking terrified of missing my chance and seeing him date someone else. Someone pls hug and/or slap me
This is horrible, anon. No one deserves anything like this. I hope you find peace. Sorry if that's a load of nothing, truly am at a loss for words. >>46850
Could try talking to him first, just as friends. Like a hello and some conversation starters.
I'm so fucking sensitive I can't take it anymore, the slightest thing sets me off and makes me cry and it happens so much that people think I am just begging for attention but I genuinely can't help myself. I can't just not make myself cry, my body does it on its own over the stupidest shit. What do I do? A professor set me off over something minor last week and when I started crying he lost it and went on a rant how I am always just pretending to be the victim in everything and such. What the fuck am I supposed to do?
All I do is lay in bed and I do not even sleep to get away from life anymore as waking up stresses me out so much and it is hard to be alone with my thoughts.
I just stay awake for days until I can instantly fall asleep but it is more like passing out.
I spend all my time listening to depressing music and wasting my time online without reading materials I am interested in as everything feels like too much work.
I find myself envious of people who know what they want in life to be happy even incel men that is how much I wish I knew something could make life worth continuing with a potential happy ending.
I envy people who used to be happy but at the same time feel lucky.
I struggle the most with not feeling anything at all and hate myself despite doing therapy to improve as I am certain I will end my life anyway.
Everything feels like too much effort even death which I am well read on achieving.
I do not hate a single soul but deeply dislike the human condition itself.
I overthink everything i am overly critical of all my thoughts and deconstruct them to analyse if they hold merit and a thousand other reasons like a sperg plus this makes me so scared of death itself.
ai am sick of how fake everyone is outside so I do not interact but online culture has begun to reflect the real world so I feel lost as if a part of me is dying.
Life feels like being slowly dragged through mud.
the only thing I hope for is enough drive to kill myself.
do your best.png
you can live with getting rejected but regret will rest with you on your death bed.>>46852
Your professor just does not understand how sensitive you are.
have you considered DBT therapy it helps for emotional regulation and can help you control your feelings.
You are perfect as you are but you can try to become the best version of yourself if you really want.
Dialectic behavioural therapy.
You can find resources online to help learn the skills but it is best to have a therapist help you and is done as part of a group.
Even just learning the skills it teaches may be able to help you.
You can learn how to be more aware of yourself and stopping the surge of emotions which causes situations you dislike.
>Do you think your mum lacked self awareness?
I think she was self-aware, she just downplayed it to where it was not a big deal in her mind. Whenever my mother would be called out by other family members she would say, "Well at least I am not ___ who did ___."
>Did you ever feel like it was your fault for getting scammed by your mum because you were silly enough to get outplayed?
After a certain point, definitely. The social security number situation wouldn't have been my fault if I had actually given it to her, because I was young, just moved out on my own, and was genuinely trusted that my mother would not do anything that would be to my detriment. I had only learned through my aunt about what my mom was intending to do with the SSN if she got a hold of it. However, giving her my paycheck to deposit and putting her on my cellular plan years after that was just stupid on my part. Fool me once shame on you, fool me twice shame on me
>Do you think your mum is a cluster B or borderline??
I definitely think she is a Cluster B, but I wouldn't be able to pinpoint the exact disorder.
>Have you been considering talking to her again or thinking just about how horrible she was. Your post gives off a feeling that you just want to be loved as you should be by your mum and not treated like trash.
I've just been thinking about how awful the situation was, it's just current life circumstances have caused me to brood on it for the first time in a long while. I am not close with my father or stepmother either. So I think you are absolutely right; I wish I could have a positive relationship with any
kind of parental figure.
>Please do not let your mum get you down despite the damage already being done… Sometimes it is best to just cut people out of your life. Do you think you could have a relationship if you just denied her all requests to get your bux?
I will definitely try not to let it get me down, it used to bother me a lot more a few years ago. To be completely honest I don't think I would be able to have a relationship with her again. Her reasoning for her not having to pay me back was "I spent more than $1500 raising you, if you want to ring up the bill I think you
money." I do not want to be someone's meal ticket, because at the end of the day that is all I was. I just smartened up before she really screwed me over.
>I am the only one who actually talks to my mum out of all her kids and it is because I hate myself and do not care how horrible she is. I do not live with my mother now so she is unable to steal from me but when she did I just did not care despite always making a fuss.
I am so sorry to hear that you are dealing with a situation similar to mine, anon. Do you not care because you were able to move past it after discussing it with your mother? Was it a rough situation where she was genuinely in trouble? Or is it a lack of self-esteem that makes you not care how she (or anyone) treats you? Either way, I also hope you find peace and are able to come to terms with it. We all deserve to have family members who truly care about us and our best interests, but some of us aren't so lucky.
Made me think of Hold on magnolia by songs ohia which I played while thinking
I read and reread what you said only to think about it and the cruel sad reality it is.
I want you to know that you do not want anything but something you should not even have to ask for.
You just want to have a mother in your life without all the hassle as a bare minimum, would it be right to say that you probably think even expecting her to be in your corner rooting you on or sharing and soothing your woes is wishful thinking…>she just downplayed it to where it was not a big deal in her mind.
I have noticed people who do bad things generally do this unless they are a psychopath.
it is some type of cognitive dissonance where they are able to be selfish whilst freeing themselves from the guilt normal people feel.
My mother can simply magically forget she ever did anything one moment and then justify it the next.
This is totally hypocritical of me but I do not think you should ever feel like a fool or silly for trusting mum because mums are meant to help us not hurt us and we hope that maybe they wont even if we know they will.
I want to try encourage you to try make a relationship of some type with boundaries but knowing what you have told me it does not seem like she will change and could try jump on the "opportunity" of having you reach out.. has she tried to reach out ever?
>I just smartened up before she really screwed me over.
You adapted to parental abuse that would likely taint your view of everyone in some way.
>Do you not care because you were able to move past it after discussing it with your mother?
No it is just a shattered sense of self worth which has strangely enough resulted in me no longer being able to feel animosity for anyone and I have had some people really harm me greatly yet without thinking I see their behaviour as just a symptom of their own suffering and past mistreatments reflected back onto me. I worry I will come off as if I am thinking I am enlightened but it is more the opposite where descending has allowed me to forgo hate.
Reading and thinking about what your situation is just made me feel actually upset and have tears in the first time in so long..
so tired of being alive but im also terrified of dying and the afterlife
can i just win the lottery already
I read that when asked to describe their levels of happiness people who won the lottery return to baseline within similar to those that become disabled.
not the actual study but a piece on it I just found https://www.thecut.com/2016/01/classic-study-on-happiness-and-the-lottery.html
What would you do with lotterybux?
How do I softly let this dude know that he's suffocating me? I befriended him because I have only one friend, and we had some interests alike so he seemed interesting, but now he wants to talk all day everyday and use me as a therapist. By that I mean he will just suddenly drop a "I wish I was dead" or something, completely suddenly, in the middle of a normal conversation or even start one with that. I feel like a terrible person for saying this. I don't want to just tell him to leave me alone because that wouldn't be nice, but I really can't take this anymore, I'm very mentally ill myself and I don't feel like I can be the person he needs right now. Again I know I sound like an asshole, and I'm sorry. I'm just really tired. I'm afraid to just drop him as a friend because my other friend knows him, and I'm afraid I'll end up losing my other friend.
You are judging yourself for how you feel so much pls pls try to avoid doing that because you do not deserve it as you are clearly a nice person who has tried and found that it has come to a point where you need to look out for yourself a bit because you know what you struggle as well with your own problems.
I do not know any of the details of this person so I can only go off what you have said but he seems to have poor communication skills if he thinks that the way to air your woes is by randomly saying such negative stuff especially in a cliche way…
It is totally not your job to play therapist I know some people love to do that sort of thing and I personally like to myself support a friend emotionally as best I can but I would not be friends with someone you described.
Firstly I really think you need to consider if you just want to set some boundaries or cut the communication altogether.
Do you find you enjoy your interactions when he is not mentally draining you?
It seems like you just want him to stop and remember you are not a bad person for doing this!!
You are worried how your friends will react but this could be a litmus test to see how your friends will react as they should understand you and not judge you either.
What friend would want another friend to be miserable??
>how to say it
Ok just my personal opinion and considering the situation is complicated by sharing a friend group you could maybe just write out all your feelings and how it is affecting you while explaining to him you are not in a good place so cannot deal with this extra stress and negativity.
If he is your friend he should totally understand but if you ask me he seems a bit selfish.
What do you think?
me again I just wanted to add.
This guy is totally imposing himself on you and formed a dependency by the sounds of it.
So please do not feel bad!
I have to ask if you have tried to give sins at all to him that you are not ok with the way he is behaving.
Maybe he has a crush on you or something I know this is really common with men.
Quite a lot of men have said to me they cannot be friends with a girl which is insane to me anyway..
I have been extremely depressed for over a decade and didn’t realize it was depression until recently. I thought being a shut-in with no friends and unable to go to the store was normal. I sleep about 20 hours a day too, just to avoid reality. I’m gross and can’t get a boyfriend and can’t afford surgery to look pretty, because i don’t have a hot body I can sell on onlyfans, I can’t get a job because I can’t go outside, and work from home jobs aren’t even available here. I wish I had the confidence to live my life fully. I have so many dreams but most of them necessitate being young and attractive and for that reason I cannot see a realistic way of making them come true. I’m the most pathetic person.
I hate to be one of those people who is always accusing everyone else of being narcissists (and often turns out to be a narcissist themselves) but can anyone tell me how to avoid attracting these types of guys?
I swear the only guys I attract are fake ‘nice guys’ who turn out to be sociopathic and have a horde of depraved dirty secrets they kept hidden from me. I think I am attractive to these guys because I have really low self esteem and am something of a doormat at times, I don’t even know if therapy would help because all that self help and positive affirmation stuff just always feels like coping.
Isn't it weird how you can be so used to depression you just do not realize it for what it is.
I was diagnosed in childhood but when older with no life feeling like trash I would be confused why suddenly I could enjoy nothing.
Have you tried to make a friend online? you are a shut in and other shut ins could become good friends that really value you even if you do not have the energy for chit chatting a lot of the time.
Life is depressing your post is depressing as.
At least we know at least one other persons life seems awful as well.
I relate btw
Have you researched the personality type beyond your own experience to be able to detect those crazies before they do weedle their way into your brain and heart?
Everything is coping anyway.. maybe there are some podcasts and youtube videos which could help? idk
sorry for the useless attempt at "advice"
It saddens me to learn other people are going through this too. I hope we find a way out of it someday. I have learned helplessness I think stemming from childhood abuse. I hope other people like me can find the strength to climb out of their rut.
I have been awake too long and I drank too much coffee.
I get really scared in an existential. sense I feel my disassociation melting slightly giving rise to intense fears.
hours ago I was feeling a little better and had rare optimistic moments but now it is all scary with spooky thoughts no matter the direction I look in life.
I am all too aware that my conscious self is less a whole entity but more like I am made up of a whole bunch of slides of different colours which are mixed together and projected to create the me I sense as the present self.
I made my family upset and there is no excuse I just feel they will abandon me so it is best to make everyone hate me.
I realized I need to make a serious effort to improve the way I think and gain control in life or just kill myself because the biggest hurdle is me alone.
I am scared of any choice I make concerning myself because I am just not responsible at all so regret any action I take.
>>46863>I have noticed people who do bad things generally do this unless they are a psychopath. it is some type of cognitive dissonance where they are able to be selfish whilst freeing themselves from the guilt normal people feel. My mother can simply magically forget she ever did anything one moment and then justify it the next.
My mother does the exact same thing, you nailed it right on the head.
>I want to try encourage you to try make a relationship of some type with boundaries but knowing what you have told me it does not seem like she will change and could try jump on the "opportunity" of having you reach out.. has she tried to reach out ever?
Nope, not once. I have a feeling she never will unless she hears through the woodworks about me getting married, pregnant, etc.
>No it is just a shattered sense of self worth which has strangely enough resulted in me no longer being able to feel animosity for anyone and I have had some people really harm me greatly yet without thinking I see their behaviour as just a symptom of their own suffering and past mistreatments reflected back onto me. I worry I will come off as if I am thinking I am enlightened but it is more the opposite where descending has allowed me to forgo hate.
I am sorry to hear that anon. When people behave poorly and that is not your fault, and when they negatively project onto you that is not fair. Do you have someone you can at least talk to? That sounds like a very difficult way of coping.
>Reading and thinking about what your situation is just made me feel actually upset and have tears in the first time in so long.
Things have definitely gotten better, and I hope your situation has gotten better as well. I appreciate you taking the time to talk to me, I do feel better now that I have typed my feelings out. Thank you, anon. <3
>>46899>Nope, not once. I have a feeling she never will unless she hears through the woodworks about me getting married, pregnant, etc.
Don't forget a windfall! why would she come back if you are getting married or pregnant
What I find strange is that I am generally quite good at reading into people and why they do what they do or how they think to the point of predicting behaviour as a reaction to (whatever) but my mum is a real mystery to me in most ways.
She used to gaslight me during my worst times for no reason other than for fun? and when you are trying to deal with hallucinations only to catch your mum knocking on your door only to scurry away or invent entire situations that never happened because she thinks you were too drunk to remember it is so confusing. It must have just been fun for her as I had already learnt not to argue and just agree with anything she says about me as if I am spamming chat dialogue in skyrim lol.
I think she became dependant on me in ways so tried to keep me stuck in a really bad mental place unable to function as it is the only thing to explain discouraging me from trying to improve.
Did Your mum do any of this type of thing as well?
One time for example mum paid me back $700(like nothing from what she owed lol) in cash for some reason to work on paying me back only to wait until I hid it so she could steal it back and say it is my on fault for being stupid and not hiding it better because I should have known better.
I do not even care about money I just felt so defeated from that type of thing continually.
She even pretended to visit me in hospital once only as part of a ruse to get my banking details off me to steal and that was when I was homeless like how can someone do that to their child. I just excuse everyone who hurts me as it feels like my own only purpose.
I feel really pathetic thinking about this as it is like some kid in elementary getting bullied until she starts bullying herself to save the bullies the hassle.
Sorry for the ranting…
I am really thankful for your message. I like to chat to anons a lot but do not often say much about myself.
You said things have gotten better as in you feel better or not as concerned about a relationship with your mum?
pay off current uni loans
pay my way through the rest of uni
buy a small, nice house somewhere safe and vibe
spoil my parents
a lot of little things too (eat healthier, invest in fancy skincare/haircare) but yeah.
Why do you choose a house and not just a small one room apartment to live in with a cleaner to come in while you sleep?
A house is huge and so many empty rooms.
a house seems stabler to me. i mean, if something happens to the building or the landlord then i'm fucked and i'll have to seek out somewhere else to live, but if i have a small house (one bedroom homes exist) on the outskirts of a nice city, i just…feel that's safer. maybe i can even have a small garden and grow my own shit.
also, i wouldn't hire cleaners or anything. i'd really just live the life i live now but without worrying over x price, and be able to splurge on my hobbies and shit.
fuck i hope win the lottery. i understand the chance to is practically non-existent, and that literally millions of other people are hoping to do the same, but fuck. it would be so NICE.
Are you playing the lottery?
II think it is quite rude of people to call it the idiot tax despite knowing full well why they do. Just let people enjoy things
I can see how buying a ticket every week and making a little ritual of checking it (on the TV?) could be fun and worth paying to lose anyway.
Could also just be depressing.
I never spend money anyway really but you can travel with lottobux so that would be totally worth it.
You make some good points I really did not think it through..
For some reason I find the city appealing for somewhere to live even if I did not go outside but it could be nice to grow your own garden.
Small things like that could make life worth more fun.
Can I ask what you (or anyone reading) does for fun?
I have not slept in a few days and im bored af.
I refresh boards then try to read and give up because too tired on repeat.
Any fun youtube channels? I have not been on YT for years so no idea.
What hobbies do you enjoy if I can ask?
I just do writing.
>>46907>Are you playing the lottery?
i might buy a few tickets today, yeah.
Good luck anon.
You might just win.
I'm so sorry you had to go through that. I'll try to offer some advice. One of the most unfair things in life is that some people get to have great parents, and some people don't. You're justified in feeling any negative emotions that you feel. In the long run, those negative emotions will hurt you too, so you should try to accept what happen by understanding it. Forgiveness isn't necessary, but unless you come to terms with your experiences the negative thoughts will keep having a negative effect. My mother abandoned me when I was 3, leaving me with only my dad. I was angry for a long time, but I understand that she was just a selfish person who valued her happiness over her child's.
I like to play chess online. I just play quick games but I enjoy watching YouTube videos by people way better than me. If you can tolerate moids I recommend https://www.youtube.com/user/RosenChess
He posts a video once a day with a game or two, and I like to watch them while I eat breakfast
Wish this guy would stop fucking blasting brittle bones nicki
How ironic that I crave love and intimacy with a man so much yet I can’t date because whenever I do I am filled with constant dread and fear and jealousy and feelings of inadequacy to the point of wanting to an hero. I hate having bpd and anxious preoccupied attachment style, they told me it would get better after my teens but it hasn’t ;_;
I've probably made this post once every six months since the site started, but I'm not normal and I'll never fit in anywhere or with anyone.
I JUST WANT AN OLD FASHIONED LOVING MONOGAMOUS RELATIONSHIP
WHY IS EVERY GUY THESE DAYS SUCH A COOMER
WHY IS NO ONE CONTENT WITH JUST LOVING VANILLA SEX
EVEN BLOWJOBS CANT JUST BE BLOWJOBS, THEY HAVE TO INVOLVE FACEFUCKING UNTIL ALMOST PUKING AND FACESLAPPING
GUYS ARE MORE OBSESSED WITH ASSHOLES THAN VAGINAS
EVERYONE IS A LOW-KEY SCAT LOVER
MEN ARE DIRTY DOGS
GUYS SLEEP WITH A DADDY ISSUES PICKME DOORMAT WHO LIKES BEING CHOKED OUT AND PUNCHED AND SUDDENLY ASSUME EVERY WOMAN MUST LOVE IT TOO
WHY DOES PORN HAVE TO RUIN PEOPLE AND ROB THEM OF ALL THEIR INNOCENCE AND MAKE THEM CUMBRAINED PERVERTED POLYAMOROUS CHEATING PIECES OF SHIT
THIS TIMELINE SUCKS! ROMANCE IS DEAD!
>>46930>THIS TIMELINE SUCKS! ROMANCE IS DEAD!
Very. Now you have to literally buy bf in Japan by hitting the host clubs.
The saddest part is even the host clubs are dead now. I remember from about 2004-2011 they were huge. But every year men prove themselves to be bigger and bigger fuckboys and I think a lot of Japanese women have decided its not even worth paying a guy to act like Prince Charming anymore, just so he can spend it all on his Stacy side bitches.
how is this emblematic of a personality disorder? just being passionate, anxious and clingy is basically how any sane person would react to being constantly told we're disposable by society, and being fearful that any guy you date or marry, will internalize that messaging and leave you, is normal. that's very normal.
i hate this. being anxious and attached and worried about losing someone you love doesn't mean you have a personality disorder, yet psychs are looking to constantly pathologize the VERY NORMAL human condition that women experience as a result of growing up in a society that tells both women and men that we're disposable
>>46930>born too late to enjoy the pre-pornography era of romance, chivalry and man and wife’s duty to each other >born too early to collect a harem of sexy advanced AI bot husbandos
Where is the rope.
Why would you want to pay a person to lie to your face and pretend to be someone else? Ever? That makes no sense. Good, I'm glad they're dying. Very stupid concept.
If you can suspend disbelief that well, that you find value in being lied to and enough value in it to pay them for it, you may as well just play romance games for free or for a few bucks.
This. Men will label any woman who calls them out on their bullshit or is wise to their games crazy or BPD. It’s just typical male gaslighting. Its okay to be blackpilled on moid nature and (rightfully) have zero faith or trust in men, nothing good has ever come of putting your faith in a moid.
BPD is true hell because even though it can feel so good to have someone to love you are ripped apart from all the anxiety and sorry but personally knowing these are just bpd thoughts and feelings does not help make it any less hard to cope with.>>46935>how is this emblematic of a personality disorder?
Sure normal people experience this too but bpd takes it to a higher level where you start cutting yourself because he says he needs to sleep and you think he is throwing you away.
BPD or rather the symptoms are very real but I agree with how psychs like to put everyone into a box.
Unless you wake up and eat grey sludge while watching the news and working you have a personality disorder.>>46936
keked irl desu
There are normal guys, non-coomer guys. But their standards are high and they want young women who will give them children immediately.
>>46939>bpd takes it to a higher level where you start cutting yourself because he says he needs to sleep and you think he is throwing you away.
okay, but it's nothing but hypervigilance? using cutting as a coping method to a perceived threat (which, by the way, could actually be real, with how often men are encouraged to lie and just completely bail on their gfs without telling us), is really not that strange or bizarre? it's not preferred and it's not healthy, but i don't think it means anyone necessarily has a personality disorder. if someone is dramatic simply for the sake of being dramatic, being basically histrionic, then that's one thing. but an elevated threat level like this is usually tied to past neglect, abandonment, or abuse. i don't think that's abnormal or indicative of "lifelong uncurable personality disorder" as bpd is claimed to be and i don't think it's weird to cut yourself if you think you're being abandoned.
that seems very normal to me given the way people act and how women are raised and treated to feel. it's not healthy for you, but i don't think it means you have a lifelong and severely stigmatized affliction. people have varied coping mechanisms and threat levels they experience in response to different situations, all of which depends on their past experiences, trauma, and predisposition to anxiety. just having 'unhealthy' coping mechanisms and higher perceived threat levels isn't an uncurable disorder, nor is it a serious personality flaw.
I think the important difference here is that these reactions are unjustified and illogical yet at the same time entirely make sense because this trait manifests usually in people who do get abandoned and hurt by everyone.
I do not think people who have been labelled BPD should consider themselves beyond help and honestly this is not often the case in reality anyway.
People who learn better skills coping and regulating their emotions, can improve to the point they are no longer diagnosable as borderline.
A diagnosis is really just a cluster of traits that are considered to commonly co occur enough to be given a label so other psychs know what they are dealing with and how best to treat it. We diagnose for simplicity in this case.
Not speaking for anyone else but I personally do not let anyone know I am freaking out and hurting myself aside from seeking assurance sometimes.
I know that other borderlines do try to get attention or use threats of suicide to manipulate and personally I see "explosive" and "quiet" BPD as different disorders which share common elements.
Explosive BPD is why men shudder to find out their GF has bpd so it stigmatizes those who do not hurt anyone but themselves largely.
I loathe when people try to use their mental illness as an excuse for how they behave when it is not in most cases and is just a predictor for future behaviour.
Some stacy types even use it as an excuse for cheating
>just having 'unhealthy' coping mechanisms and higher perceived threat levels isn't an uncurable disorder, nor is it a serious personality flaw.
I think the idolization and devaluation that comes with bpd and all the other terrible negatives make it a serious personality flaw. I feel it is a personality flaw for my world to constantly go from heaven to hell continually especially when I am in love with someone.
Yandere is literally just bpd and Yuno is stereotype of bpd craziness
>>46953> Yandere is literally just bpd and Yuno is stereotype of bpd craziness
Elaborate? I don’t think Yandere is BPD, attachment issues aren’t just a sign of BPD. I’m curious on the thoughts
>>46930>WHY IS NO ONE CONTENT WITH JUST LOVING VANILLA SEX
There's plenty of that. It's all male/male, but I can't help it if you've got no taste.
The rest of your post was too dumb for me to engage with, sorry.
I had a little scream while watching a horror movie and my mom called me a worm, a rat and said that i’m dumb like a cow. It felt great to be insulted like that by your mom.
I should have phrased myself better with that statement sorry.
I personally feel that yandere characters are based on borderline woman which are unstable with some exaggerations although in reality a very small amount of BPD can behave just like a Yandere.
The main point of similarity is they can go from hot to cold which mirrors idolization and devaluation.
Perhaps it would be more proper to say that bpd and yandere share some similarities instead of it literally being the same thing.
The type that give borderline a bad name (explosives) do try to harm their lovers for their own twisted reasons that make no logical sense.
The obsessive nature of Yandere is the same as bpd.
Thank you anons, your kind words still mean a lot. Sorry for the late acknowledgement, I thought I had included it in my other post.>>46901>why would she come back if you are getting married or pregnant
To be completely honest I don't know if she would, it's just those are two pretty big life events that I think would pique her curiosity if they ever happened.
>She used to gaslight me during my worst times for no reason other than for fun? and when you are trying to deal with hallucinations only to catch your mum knocking on your door only to scurry away or invent entire situations that never happened because she thinks you were too drunk to remember it is so confusing. It must have just been fun for her as I had already learnt not to argue and just agree with anything she says about me as if I am spamming chat dialogue in skyrim lol.
Holy shit. My mother used to deny the fact that I was getting bitten by fleas during that whole fiasco, but she never messed with me like that. I am so sorry you had to deal with that anon, I don't even know what to say to that. Your mother is just mean-spirited.
Are you someone who feels compulsed to help and be there for people no matter what they've done in a situation or to you? Or is it just your mother that makes you feel this way?
>Sorry for the ranting… I am really thankful for your message. I like to chat to anons a lot but do not often say much about myself.
Do no be sorry at all, anon. It's good to get these things off of your chest, especially when you can talk with someone who can relate.>>46921>You're justified in feeling any negative emotions that you feel. In the long run, those negative emotions will hurt you too, so you should try to accept what happen by understanding it. Forgiveness isn't necessary, but unless you come to terms with your experiences the negative thoughts will keep having a negative effect.
Thank you anon, this is great advice. I am also sorry to hear about your situation, I am happy that you and your dad were able to come out on top at the end. After all this time it still makes me red-in-the-face levels of angry. Did you have to go to therapy? Or did you realize after a long period of speculation? Regardless, I will keep what you've said in mind.
>>46969>Are you someone who feels compulsed to help and be there for people no matter what they've done in a situation or to you? Or is it just your mother that makes you feel this way?
This will sound very strange and may get me hated but it is honest which is all that counts.
I do try to be helpful and compassionate to people but unless I truly care about them I do not do it for the reasons others would or at least realize.
If I do not truly care about someone I will help if it is to my advantage in some way and this does not mean I am cold to strangers I try to treat everyone well but family I rely on I try to safeguard my parasitic relationship by offering them social interaction etc in return.
I do not hold a grudge and I am sure I would help someone who has hurt me in the past as I have regardless.
I am very isolated and have not had any friends for some time so cannot answer accurately of how I would act now as present me.
Did you get any complications from the fleas?
>>46970>If I do not truly care about someone I will help if it is to my advantage in some way and this does not mean I am cold to strangers I try to treat everyone well but family I rely on I try to safeguard my parasitic relationship by offering them social interaction etc in return.
I get that, OP. I don't hate you for it at all. When I was living with my father and stepmother it was the same way, I put up with them and made peace solely because I was getting something (the roof over my head) out of it. This was despite them being fucking idiots
sometimes. In exchange they got major brownie points amongst the rest of the family for "letting their twenty-five year old move back home." Tit for tat, I suppose. Status in the family means a lot to my Dad so I guess it was a fair exchange for him. Now that I am back to living on my own, I don't hear from them either because we have nothing to gain from one another.
>Did you get any complications from the fleas?
I did, actually. I am very lucky to have not gotten sick at the time of living in that house, but I have a diagonsis of OCD as a result of it. I have dermatillomania, it's basically a body-impulse control disorder where I compulsively pick my skin. Bug bites and any kind of itch are a major trigger for me, and my problem areas are my arms and legs (where fleas tend to bit the most). I believe that the situation in that house is the root cause.
Towards the end of living there I used to get these crazy, intrusive thought about how the fleas were up inside my uterus, laying eggs there, and that was the source of the infestation. I used to obsessively check my pants to make sure there were none there, and even today I get extremely anxious when I see black specks, it's almost muscle memory now to pick them up and squeeze them between my fingernails.
Did your mum even try to fix the flea problem for even the dog?
I hate having infested animals living with me you end up with ticks on you and all sorts!
Have you got scarring from the picking you worry about at all? if you do please try not worry what people think I have scarring from stuff and learnt not to care.
Good thing you got out of there or you would have probably gained extra disorders from living with mum.
It's really hard for me to be out of my house for long periods of time. I really enjoy my time alone/at home. However my bf always wants me to come over and stay with him for weeks. I don't know what to do. I really love him and I want to stay with him for sure, but I feel like I'm breaking apart. Also missing my cat
Oh man I feel this. Whenever I had to go to a sleepover I would feel really homesick. I thought it would get better as I got older but I still feel really homesick whenever I’m away from home for more than a day or two. I don’t know what the solution is. Are you in a LDR?
I hate being stonewalled. Multiple times my boyfriend promises to talk about why he is irritated or feels a certain way on a topic that is important in our relationship (at least, to me) and he rarely, if ever, delivers. He's been promising on working on this for over a year. Meanwhile, I've been working on my BPD and I have improved in areas - I don't self harm anymore, I've been working a lot as of late in how I deal with my triggers and remaining functional despite feeling negative, strong emotions, but I feel like it doesn't matter to him. For him, I feel as if any conflict is bad, no matter how delicately I put it. I apologize for how I think I messed up in expressing myself/communicating during the times I explain an issue, too, but he has never done that of his own accord. I am overwhelmed.
I want an older (28-36 yo) femme lesbian japanese gf so badly. If I was born a man this would be so easy, but I dont know how to find lesbians in Japan irl.
Go to nichome in Tokyo, it's the gay area
Once again I didn't realize the thread was at the bump limit until I noticed that no one had posted in it for two days.
How hard could it be for the admin to make the number of current posts visible on the thread page?
plastic surgery is painful. I'm not going to reccommend it to every incel anymore as a holy grail fix because it's painful.
Does your BF have experience with mental health?
If he does please try not to worry yourself too much over losing him because of this if you are.
I used to be the same a hardcore hikikomori and the only thing that helped me was exposure but I would still feel as you do now.
It is just comfy to be in your own space by yourself…
Is there any other reasons you dislike some aspects of being at his home or is it purely because you enjoy solitary time??>>46992>I hate being stonewalled.
Anon communication is so so important in a relationship so you have every right to feel irritated by the lack of it on his part.
You are working so hard to improve yourself and unless someone also has BPD they will never understand what it is like so for you to be able to improve is so fantastic.
I don't want to be the type of person to say leave your BF but you need to make it clear to him how important open communication is and what is expected of him..
Good luck anon.>>47017
was it scary to change what you look like? did you feel a sense of disconnect?
no. i wanted the change for a very long time, so i'm glad i finally got it. in my warped mind, this is how i was always supposed to look like. but the recovery is difficult. (not deformed btw, just fixing a very unattractive feature)
My dad is in the rn hospital dying of heart failure and I can’t even visit him bc of covid hospital rules. I would give anything, anything, for this to be different. We just need more time. I hate my life right now so much. Everyone I love dies. I can’t lose him. Fuck this shit. Fuck all this shit. There’s so many things we haven’t got to do yet, it came out of nowhere. Hope every anon hugs the person that means the world to them today, you will deeply deeply deeply regret it when it’s too late. And you won’t know it’s too late, until it’s too late.
I'm sorry this is happening to you anon. Hopefully things will get better
There is no way to try spin this in a positive direction it flat out sucks you are dealing with this right now.
You can chat to e in this thread if you want to vent more about how you feel.
I’m so sorry anon. I’m really wishing the best for you right now. I hope you get to see him somehow in some way. <333
Another day doing nothing but waiting to sleep and feeling uncomfy.
Ayone else just unable to enjoy anything?
>>46969>Did you have to go to therapy? Or did you realize after a long period of speculation? Regardless, I will keep what you've said in mind.
I didn't go to therapy, but it probably would have helped me if I had. I took my own path, but that included a lot of self-inflicted misery that I could have avoided. There's no harm in trying!
wasted most of today trying to get into crypto. bought one coin at a very low price thru coinbase (i can earn it back within the week), went to invest in something that i've been researching all day (it seems pretty solid, might give me wild returns) only to learn that i can't even use what i bought until 3-5 days. wasn't expecting that, because with stocks the money is available to you instantly. now i'm pissed and sad that i'm missing out on the thing i wanted to invest in (by the time my shit goes through it's going to be too late). also my immunization records for university haven't gone through either, and i can't fucking register for classes or apply for scholarships until they go through. so fucking tired.
oh and to top it all off i have to go help my mom with bullshit tomorrow.
FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCK I'M SO FUCKING IRRITATED AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA
Only as much as any speculative commodity is.
I just found out that a close male friend of mine has been telling his friends and possibly family that I’m his girlfriend.
He spent the weeks before I found out about this creepily making advances on me and telling me he was in love with me.
I’m not even entirely sure why but I feel disgusting and creeped out. Him confessing his unrequited love for me was bad enough, but I feel so uncomfortable knowing how many people thought I was in an intimate relationship with this weirdo.
It's because he lied, you airhead.
I joined a Warhammer Fantasy cosplay group for an upcoming con. Everything was going so well, we are meeting every weekend and hanging out for like 6 straight hours on Friday nights working together. I've come to really like our group and it's the first friendship I've really fit into because I can be a sperg without anyone minding. It was all going so well right up until our warrior priest of Ulric took off his shirt to try on armour and revealed the big Norse tattoo and pendant around his neck. Suddenly some of the slightly discriminatory things he's said make sense and now I'm pretending to be sick and staying home so I don't have to be in the same room as him. Moids ruin everything.
Before you let him ruin something you apparently enjoy very much, are you sure you aren't just reading too much into it? Surely not every guy who's into Norse mythology is some uber-traditional Varg larper.
In this case giving him the benefit of the doubt would directly benefit you.
If I was white, maybe I would, but I won't risk my safety to give him the benefit of the doubt.
Why does it matter if he is a racist etc unless his politics enter your social interactions?
We do not need to agree with someones philosophy to enjoy playing games with them
I am tired of having nothing but being my partners gf whenever I am in his friend circles. Hell, I even get called "x's gf" instead of my actual name.
But now it's worse.
His previous friend circle turned out to be a nice place that ended up treating me like an actual person, not "his girlfriend" even though that took some time. However all of them have moved on with their lives, just like us.
But there is other friend circle that is mainly his sisters circle and he just appears to be there. Thing is, she hates me ever since I married him. She is a highly insecure woman who hates other women in general with a mindset of "tradthots". But the problem there is that she started talking shit about me to their mutual friends and I just know it, because after she started talking to them now, whenever he joins a voicechat with them (without her obviously) they all stopped telling me hi or having a chitchat. She also is trying to convince their brother in law that I am horrible, abusing the thing that he is a kid who only entered teenagehood. I am acting nice and trying to get to know him, but that happens only IRL when she is not with us, when she is with us she makes sure that I am completely isolated from everyone.
But honestly, the worst part is that her "gay bestfriend (who is a straight man who is acting like "sassy" twitter personalities with adhd, joking that he is gay and is obsessed with gossip) keeps showing in my partners face things such as:
" You are not the same ever since you got married " , " You stopped spending time with us after you got married ", " You became a normie after you got married " (ironic enough, they treat Discord like an actual Facebook so them calling others normies is weird). Everything manipulative and negative always in the end implies to me, even though I had no chance to get to know these people from sisters circle more, but I still acted polite and nice around everyone, just to still being treated like "a reason why he is not around", when in reality these people could have always messaged or called him whenever they'd like, instead of whining and messaging him once-twice a year only when they fucking need something.
I do not have any friends IRL ever since I moved out. I cut out my old friends because they all ended up using me and kindness. I just want to be a part of something with my partner instead of having to be in seperate circles because of some tard. I do have my own friend circle, but its a fresh new one. I do wish i could have put my partner there, but its a circle of interests that he is not into.
I also tried to hang out with my close female friend, but she always had full parties in her games or her, being busy with her bf. I am happy for her but I wish I could spend some time with her like before, but it's fine. Just missing her a bit, but not clinging.
That might work for white people but it's best to not risk becoming the victim of a hate crime
>>47237>That might work for white people but it's best to not risk becoming the victim of a hate crime
I think you are overstating the danger.
Someone who is at one of them types of social gatherings is likely not just going to attack anon because they are POC.
if anon doesn't want to be in the company of racists/likely racists she doesn't have to be. that's a reasonable fear and she's not wrong for feeling anxious in their company. what you're saying is not advisable. it's good to err on the side of caution and it drains the fun out of hanging out with any kind of group when you realize one of people you have to hang out with is likely hostile towards you or at least would support someone else being hostile towards you because of something you can't change. how is that fun?
You do make a good point.
What matters is how you feel not anything else so sorry to come off as if I did not consider anons feelings.
My dog will go under surgery tonight. I hope everything goes ok, I don't want her to die. My heart hurts.
want to talk about it?
What is the surgery for anon
I hope your pup will be fine, let us know how it goes anon
mom is making me feel terrible. semi-long, rambly post ahead, but anyway.
basically, she bought a smart tv recently and was super excited to use it…but she doesn't have an internet connection outside of her phone's hotspot (which definitely isn't enough for the hd streaming she wants to do). i've told her this. she didn't listen.
after buying the tv and discovering what i told her was true, she now wants to buy a more stable internet connection. that's cool. however the addresses she gave me (she gave me one on her lease (???) that apparently doesn't even exist, in addition to the address i grew up in, the one i'm most familiar with) have zero offers outside of one-two ridiculously priced packages ($68+ a month for 50 mbps. seems like bull). so i suggest that she asks her neighbors who have internet. she yells at me saying that she doesn't want to ask them and that I only need to look harder (lol). i spend 40 minutes doing this. nothing fucking pops up. tell her to check her address again to ensure it's right and she HANGS UP the phone sounding all dejected, it just pisses me off and depresses me.
if i weren't a poorfag neet (though this should change come spring – the neet bit) i could just invite her to live with me or something. or help in some way.
logically though i'm like. you live ~11 minutes out of the city, ~14 minutes from our largest college. two of your neighbors on your street have an internet connection. stop being retarded and just fucking ask them first, it doesn't matter if they might have cable too. call your goddamn cell provider and see what's going on. do something other than make me feel bad
>>47241>when you realize one of people you have to hang out with is likely hostile towards you or at least would support someone else being hostile towards you because of something you can't change
Yeah, It sure is shitty when people judge others based on their appearance or physical features rather than getting to know them, huh?
Sending good energy to your pup, anon. I hope he will be fine. <3
Yeah, except no one chooses to be black, but you certainly do choose to get a big-ass Norse tattoo and make weird discriminatory comments that set off red flags lol
Why do you want anon to allow herself to be vulnerable around a potentially dangerous scrote so badly? They're bad enough apolitically, when you add in politics, especially racist politics, you're just begging for trouble.
>>47272>moids are bad enough apolitically
I’ve been talking to this guy and I was finding myself increasingly attracted to him because he was really deep, knowledgeable about things like space and physics and spirituality and philosophy, he loves to write and draw etc. We would stay up until 5AM talking about all kinds of cool stuff. Anyway long story short I found out that he likes jerking off to twitch thots and tiktok stacies doing silly dances and while that stuff is harmless I kinda lost all respect for him right there and can’t see him the same way, after realizing he simps for e-thots. Even though it’s petty I don’t wanna talk to him anymore. Dammit, why are all moids so fucking shallow and cumbrained?
>>47272>Why do you want anon to allow herself to be vulnerable around a potentially dangerous scrote so badly?
All men, all people
are "potentially dangerous." A few microaggressions and a viking tattoo do not a Klan member make.
It seems like in this case her decision to see danger in every possible situation has taken away from her something she was really enjoying, and she is worse off for it. A person can eliminate the most risk possible by never leaving their home as well, but that's no way for most people to live.
Maybe she wasn't all that attached to the group, or she'll be able to find a different group that's all-black or all-female and feel more at home there. If so, more power to her.
I just don't think it's healthy for a person to spend their life looking for reasons to assume that people are monsters.
Who is saying dude's a klan member? If anon doesn't feel comfortable, she doesn't feel comfortable. That's not "looking for reasons". Her gay d&d group is not a necessity.
It's not her job, and people have self preservation and a sense of intuition for a reason. She can find literally any other D&D group that isn't occupied by racists or racist sympathizers. No one said he's a klan member but it's not like racism is at all uncommon, wtf.
Stop gaslighting and acting like racism and racists are rarely encountered. No one has to be around toxic people if they don't want to and can afford not to.>>47267
Thank you anons.
What happened is, my mother gave a piece of chicken to my dog and she swallowed without chewing. She had some serious issues to breath at first but the piece managed to get stuck at the end of her esophagus, it wouldn't go up or down, and it needed to be surgically removed. The vet said it was a tricky operation and took a bit longer than what they expected, but went well overall. I think she'll need to stay at the hospital until tomorrow for observation.
I'm going to visit her later today. I don't think I'll be able to calm down until she's here with me at home.
I do not think that is petty anon at all.
He is a coomer for random woman it is gross
I feel ya pain anon, I don't really have my own circle of friends I'm always just an outsider in someone else's circle but luckily I've never had an experience where someone has directly tried to push me out. Perhaps it's best to distance yourself from the sister's friend circle temporarily so that hopefully they'll forget and move on from the gossip and in the meanwhile try and gain some confidence talking with your new circle so you won't feel as insecure and reliant on them liking you next time you interact. This may very well be shit advice though so feel free to take it with a grain of salt lol.
My dog died. She was in so much pain. I wish it happened to me instead of her. She didn't deserve this.
This was the last straw for me I can't keep going anymore. I don't want to watch my other pets die too
I'm sorry to hear this anon. Dying is unfortunately a part of life we all have to accept. Be happy that she is not in pain anymore and try to remember the good times.
I lost all my friends except my best friend. Yesterday I discovered she's been seeing my ex friends (and ex boyfriend too) without telling me anything about it. I feel so betrayed, fuck that bitch.
So she was supposed to only hang with you? lmao
I'm working on a paper for school and I know I'll turn it in at some point tonight. I"m kind of enjoying trying on it, so I'm not too worried I'll turn it in an hour or so late. It's a little hard concentrating because I agreed to go on vacation with my family (which I rarely ever do anymore), but it's been pleasant hear my family having fun in the background and I guess I feel these weird happy, fuzzy feelings inside even though things aren't perfect with my boyfriend right now, either (though we're working things out).
I suppose this is how I know my antipsychotic/antidepressant/mood stabilizer cocktail with DBT is working, lol. Stupid little things like this make me happy.
yo i get these little rushes when i listen to my fav parts of songs i like lol
feel so alone and never apart of anything and just the funny person to throw out, yet repulsed by anyone who tries to come close to me.
wish i could attach normally and feel like i havent wasted all my childhhood/teenager years because i was either a stupid shy anxious bitch or less anxious but gross and ugly bitch.
I finished and I'm getting ready for bed, feels good anon. I'm glad you get those little feelies, too
I've been best friends with my housemate since I was 17. He's brilliant, but so incredibly depressed and suicidal. I've always helped him and didn't realise how much enjoyment and pleasure I got out of being the one person he needs to keep his life together. Now he's taking meds, he doesn't need anything from me and is so much more productive. In the last week he made me a new computer desk, as he's known how crappy mine for years. Not once has he ever been able to make time for something like that before.
While I'm so happy that he's finally happy and able to function, I'm realising just how much I need him to need me. It's pathetic and I just want to cry or get a cat.
There is an invisible wall between me and other people. I don't even have friends in real life, pandemic made it even worse. People find me annoying since primary school, I was bullied, outcasted and the only person I have ever loved dumped me during my depressive state before my very important exams. I hate myself and even if I died, people wouldn't bat an eye and would still talk shit about me.
I keep avoiding people and social situations irl despite really wanting to go there. Every time some opportunity comes up my brain immediately thinks of ways to get me out of there, but then I retroactively realize that may not have been the best idea. I am so tired of being like this.
That's disappointing, tho I feel you anon. Had a guy I was friends with that was seemingly so sweet, but he turned out to be just another porn addict. It's not petty, why spend your time around someone that shallow?
I hate how I can no longer enjoy Axel because English voice actor, Quinton Flynn is a creep. I also hate myself by getting turn on by the audio that was leaked. I don't know how to handle the information. Men shouldn't be encouraged to be predatory. Plus they're stupid to think in 2020 they wouldn't get called out and their stuff leaked.
Why not talk to other members about it? I think guys are easily swept up in the language of small communities so he may not actually be racist. Like, my brother is 14 and is already spouting all this "tranny" talk despite not even really knowing what one is (has an ftm cousin he adores).
Reminder to stay away from guys who never got laid in high school. They turn into pedos and remain obsessed with underage girls for the rest of their lives.
Wait what happened? What did he do?
Also a reminder that when men call women jaded or cynical what they really mean is ‘I am disappointed that you can see through my bullshit and are less difficult to manipulate, so I am going to make you feel as if your valid distrust of men based on experience and objective evidence means you are crazy and unpleasant’.
Idk how old you are but most people don't have sex in high school anymore
If you're not American and under the age of 20 dont comment. High school isn't an early 00s Stacy chad comedy anymore. Moids are all too autistic and hypnotized by video games and drugs and porn to actually ask anyone out anymore
He was caught simping cosplayers and sending some very inappropriate stuff and some of his voice messages was leaked.
i told my ex who won't stop texting me that i'm in love with him and now he can stop texting me.
i hope he will get disgusted by it and stop writing whenever he feels insecure/horny. i know men hate genuine feelings of affection and the idea of commitment
My e-bf and I had a really big fight about him talking with another girl behind my back and being flirty, things got pretty nasty with lots of insults exchanged, and I ended up telling him to kill himself. Obviously it was a shitty low blow and I didn’t actually want him to kill himself, but he got really mad (because he actually had a failed suicide attempt 4 years ago)
I apologized about 10 minutes after saying it. It’s been 3 weeks since that fight and he still hasn’t forgiven me, he hasn’t fully dumped me and is pretending to be okay but I feel like deep down he hates me and really wants to get revenge on me now, he says he feels like his love has kind of dried up and now he expects me to win him over again. I’m not even sure if it’s worth it anymore, even though I still love him. Is it possible to recover a relationship from something like that? He was the one who betrayed me but I feel horrible for taking such a cheap shot, especially since he’s really sensitive about it.
It sounds like you are both being toxic anon. I'd break it off.
There was also that one time he licked a cosplayer's thigh. There's a picture of it too, iirc.
Aw what the hell? That's still not gonna stop me from liking the characters he's voiced but damn I thought he was better than that. Why can't men be normal?
he cheated on you and then wants you to be the one to make it up to him? break up with him and get an actual real life boyfriend anon internet relationships are nothing but retarded
Yes, that's me. You sound over 20 and completely detached from reality. Where did you go to school? People were dating from freshman/sophomore year at mine.
word to the wise, he probably doesn't actually care that much, he just knows what you said is shitty, that you're aware it can be hurtful, but is using it as a way to twist you to feel guilty and owe HIM after he cheated on you. i've experienced this a lot before. they lie about how much it "hurts" them so they can turn the issue back around on you
I'd say cheating is more toxic than having an emotional response to betrayal
I don't think that matters because boys and men will be pedos regardless.
Life is consistently so depressing and dull and boring. Even if I do experience the good times, the bad times are always right there…and they always return. I feel bad for thinking this way when there are billions doing even worse than me, but shit man. I want to experience a solid month where my joys aren't mere distractions from a long-running, serious issue.
16 year old boys having sex with 16 year old girls is normal and healthy, it’s not exploitative. The problem is when a guy reaches 26, 36 or 46 and still thinks he is entitled to 16 year old girls. Normal guys who had gfs in school and such tend to have got this stuff out of their system so they are able to move on and don’t obsess over it, guys who didn’t (such as incels) develop an autistic and creepy fixation on younger girls and it’s literally all they think about. Just take a look at r9k for example. You see incels complaining non stop about not getting to experience teen love, some of these guys are in their 30s and early 40s and still harping on about it. It’s vile. Also a lot of teen boys are attracted to older women sexually for some reason.
God I know I dated a guy from r9k (huge mistake) who used to frequent lookism sites. I didn’t know this until more recently but lookism sites harbour tons of pedophiles and groomers and lookism users are notorious for obsessing over teenage girls and ‘trying to make up for lost time’.
Recently after some snooping I found his profile with about 5000 posts talking about ‘jailbait’ and wanting to rape teen girls. I was completely disgusted and dumped him. The worrying thing is he actually seemed really nice and relatively normal, and never once expressed any such interest to me.
>tfw youre 28 and crying over your breakup with your discord e-bf
>tfw you were literally doing the same thing over msn in like 2005
wheres my most pathetic boomer femanon crown
So he cheats on you and you get explosively mad at him (as you should, that's a pretty normal reaction to have) and you still stay with his crusty ass? Please leave him. The one benefit to e-relationships is that you can just hit the block button and move on and not have to deal with irl repercussions, unless he's nuts enough to meet you in person.
Just by reading this I can tell he's a loser. Lol at "wants to get revenge on me" what the heck….. Love yourself some more anon.
All i want is a 30 year old average looking guy with a dad bod who works at an office and loves me more then anything so i can stay at home and make him cute meals and raise our kids FUCK please bro please
We love an anon with realistic goals. I want an ultracapable lumberjack landlord husband who also has a mildly successful underground metal project who will let me be an autistic neet that he keeps alive.
cannot even begin to explain my disgust for whatever the hell both of you just wrote
hELL YEA vargposting time
Anyway I'm frustrated about communication fanboys who make you read paragraph after paragraph on their introspective reflections and then act as though this entitles them to your complete trust after they screw something up because they're uwu communicating. I had two exes like that and it was so exhausting, it sapped away all my life energy. These are the same people who think every incompatibility can be solved by talking about it and so if I don't want to be with them I'm just not communicating well.
I used to accept the whole communication is key and no one is a mind reader thing, and sure, some relationship problems are just honest misunderstandings where it helps to talk things through, but the older I get the better I understand how much communication is just used for manipulation and making elaborate excuses for an actual lack of care or competence. Not necessarily even consciously, it's just that anyone can spend arbitrary amounts of effort to phrase things in a way that makes it seem as though their intentions were good, they can even believe it themselves, but you can predict it will never translate to actions. I'm sick of pretending you can just negotiate for things like sexual desire when you don't feel wanted by your partner and receive anything like the real thing.
This post was sponsored by r/relationship_advice
If you're lazy and unambitious it's fine, but don't make out like you're choosing to be "trad" or whatever. You just like baking and hate working.
I have a painful canker sore in my mouth and it hurts to swallow
I don't see anything wrong with what they posted. What's there's to be disgusted?
In favor of Thanksgiving, I wish I can do something to show my love and support to the Native Americans. My heart really does bleed for all the injustices that happened and keep happening to them. How their struggles and fights are still ongoing and unheard by large majority of society. I hate how it isn't exclusively a American thing to treat the originals so poorly but almost a globally thing. Other countries treat the original inhabitants like shit. I understand the plights of other ethnicities but something about seeing how Native Americans are treated from the past to TODAY really hits me hard. Even harder then BLM, I'm sorry. They can hardly afford necessities, medical care, food and water Some reservations don't even have basic plumbing. I wish I can have all the money to give them but I'm broke as shit and can't even afford rent. There's no excuse why Americans still treat them like this.
Unfortunately it's also an issue of corruption as a result of the generational trauma. Even if tribes/bands were given the resources to fix the problems, more powerful families may not use it as intended. I know because my own damn family is like this on our tiny reservation, which is tragic since our traditional culture has generosity ingrained in it.
And let's not even get started on the CSA and addiction. My own father was a shit person, but I can barely blame him because of his horror story of a childhood. And his OWN shitty childhood was caused by his mother being traumatized in residential school, thus being a poor mom. At this point we're just perpetuating the abuse on top of being shit on by white government.
That said, there are also a lot of young Indigenous people who are waking up and trying to break the cycle. I'm hopeful for the future.
If you want to do something small you can definitely support Indigenous owned businesses. There's everything from art to makeup brands, and there's more of a guarantee it's money going to someone trying to escape the cycle of abuse/addiction/suicide.
And please keep speaking about it! Like you said, most people are ignorant to it (some even think we're all dead) and nothing will get done if the majority doesn't know there's an issue.
It's so completely ridiculous to care about Native Americans. It's their fault they never advanced. It's their fault they never got over their petty differences and came together to actually form a people of America. It's their fault they didn't have anything comparable to the rest of the world at that time. When they were given guns amongst the first things they did was to kill all the tribes they had warred with. They were not some enlightened people, and the settlers have no blame on their hands for if not them it just would have been the people from Spain [and whom would have been a lot less gracious]. Speaking of "people", they weren't a people. It's all so dishonest. They were literally so divided we can genetically single out the vast majority of them. Wikipedia says there are 574 federally recognized tribes. Utter nonsense. Even this->They can hardly afford necessities, medical care, food and water Some reservations don't even have basic plumbing.
…is their own fault for not integrating into America at large. What use is your pride if it ends up making you end up like this?>>47566
You're apart of the problem. You're not a Native American, just as anyone else born there isn't whatever color they are. You're Americans. It's all nonsense racism bullshit, and you're infecting the rest of the world with it. Everyone keeps trying to ethically divide American and for some reason everyone keeps playing into it.
What's with the hate?
Groups of people being separated in one county isn't new, look at every country in the world. Even England and Greece start out as waring tribes. There's plenty of examples.
And it isn't just a American thing to treat the originals like shit, it's a global thing, from Canada to Denmark to China and the list goes on.
So it turns out the guy who I thought was my "bf" was actually scamming and making fun of me for months. I haven't even noticed because of how stupid I am. It was my first romantic experience and I have no idea what to do now. I'm too ashamed to tell anyone about it.
It is better to have loved and learned than to have never loved at all, dear anon… Just be more careful next time.
>>47577>you're not Native American>race is FAKE
Anon really ended racism in North America…
We were specifically discussing U.S. Thanksgiving, which provides the context of U.S. race relations and perceptions. So it is relevant in the conversation even if the concept of race is different in your culture. A social construct still exists despite being intangible. Countries are also fake but saying so doesn't mean you can expect to easily travel across borders without a passport.
I also agree with the spirit of your opinions in my own post. We absolutely are fucked up. Like I said, my own family is shitty. And I agree that Indigenous people can only progress if we actually work hard, move off rez, and stop relying on government gibs (hence recommending anon support businesses if she wants to throw her money somewhere). But I do believe a good chunk of us can do that. The pride doesn't need to be dropped, just modified.
And I'm doing that myself, so why am I the problem? I have a job and am attending post-secondary using money I earned.
Is it because I care about other Natives? I suppose it is in-group bias. I also care more about women than men.
Or is it because I encouraged anon to care, too? She can have compassion for people suffering, even if some people in that group are assholes. It's her choice.
And if you're from another continent, it's fine. I'm not forcing you to engage either. It's just nice when people do care.
Race isn't fake, race doesn't matter. You're LITERALLY a racist.>Countries are also fake but saying so doesn't mean you can expect to easily travel across borders without a passport.
Because, I dunno, they're not fake? There are entire cultures that exist within them. Cultures matter, race does not, and Native American culture is bad. Very, very bad. 574 tribes? That is insane. There's only 87 peoples in the entirety of Europe. Native Americans could not be more divided. Even if you counted them all ethnically as one, what sort of a messed up culture is that? I know America is big, but good god.
Sorry if I'm coming off as a bitch, but I am not aware of a more egregious example of a failed group. It bugs me a lot. At least some Hawaiian islands never technically surrendered and are open to litigation.
What is your ideal for Native Americans then, since you mentioned it bugs you a lot? Is there any point in trying to better if we're all failures?
>>47593>What is your ideal for Native Americans then
Be Americans. What you do right now isn't even segregation, it's beyond that. You're not living together but living apart, you literally have your own nations. It's so fucking stupid.
In the UK there is constant bitching about Wales and Northern Ireland splitting off from England. These insignificant blots on the map unironically think they can stand on their on two feet. They can't. What exports? What military? What industry at all? The parallels to the Native Americans are staggering. It just came to my head, but it's also like Cuba is to America. They want all the benefits but not the rules. What use are your own rules or pride if they result in you failing? It would have unironically been more moral that the early Americans never gave Native Americans the option to not integrate because right now they live by lesser standards.>Is there any point in trying to better if we're all failures?
Anyone can improve. Is this not America's whole thing? But Native Americans would rather live by their own rules and have kids and families that live to a lesser standards because of it. And that's what bugs me, cruelty born out of pride.
i dont know what to do right now. i love my boyfriend but i live with him and recently moved cross-country for him, so hes all i have. all he wants to ever do when he isnt working is sit at his computer. he never wants to take a little walk with me, or study for his permit, or brush his teeth and hes horrible at managing his money while telling me he doesnt want me to work because its less time together. am i being unreasonable? should i not care and just worry about myself? i want him to better himself because i care but if i ask him nicely he gets angry and shoos me away. also i dont want to marry someone with no teeth. i just see this being a huge obstacle in the future because he has no drive and its rubbed off on me.
in addition hes 20 and im 19, so maybe he just needs time to mature? i try to be proud that he works but hes been calling out like 2-3 days a week lately…he just wants to sit at his computer and mess around but i wish he was more responsible and motivated. again i love him dearly but i dont know if i can be with him forever? i like to do things away from my computer sometimes and wish i had a partner to do it with me. even a 30 minute walk! its scary doing it alone because im new to the area still. god maybe i should just stop caring :(
Buyer's remorse, huh? What were you expecting from him, Anon?
>>47597>In the UK there is constant bitching about Wales and Northern Ireland splitting off from England. These insignificant blots on the map unironically think they can stand on their on two feet. They can't. What exports? What military?
If you look at South Sudan who did manage to split off from Sudan, the military usually comes before a civil war. So yes, I suppose if you are saying "Scotland and Northern Ireland are not prepared for a civil war yet" they are in no position to become their own country. That's kind of the thing though, these things take time, and furthermore, I am uncertain how much the denizens would prefer civil war to a peaceful segregation. >What industry at all?
You don't need industry to be a nation. Look at the majority of Africa. Unless your point is that Scotland and Ireland specifically need industry, as some Native American reservations have oil fracking resources that would make them as likely a candidate to be their own country as the majority of African ones are.>Cuba is to the US
You wot m8? Cuba isn't a territory of the US and didn't even have trade relations with them until recently.
>>47591>race is fake but culture is not fake
What created the culture in the first place?>Sorry if I'm coming off as a bitch, but I am not aware of a more egregious example of a failed group.
This is white man's burden tier thinking. How can a group "fail"? You feel bad that Native Americans in the US are poverty stricken, but I imagine you couldn't give single fuck about, say, the indigenous people deep in the Amazon that are living in abject poverty. If a culture decides and functions in a lower tier of civilization, who are you to say they are a "failure"?
Not that anon but>What created the culture in the first place?
The geography and circumstances of the place and time it developed in.
Not race, if that's what you're implying. If Asian people had lived in the Mediterranean they'd probably have ended up being huge homos and living in warring city states just like the Greeks did.
>>47605>The geography and circumstances of the place and time it developed in.
You stated this as if this wasn't what created race too. If anything I guess you could argue that geography and circumstances created both the races and the cultures I suppose.
>>47603> You feel bad that Native Americans in the US are poverty stricken,
Kek, I don't think anon has ever said she/he feels bad for Native Americans. It's pretty clear she/he feels basically nothing for disdain for people who have had no hand in the position they've been born into. She/he's a nut that can't or won't feel sympathy for impoverished descendants because… there was (unsurprisingly) intertribal conflict before and after the Europeans arrived?
idk anon, my bf is 22 and he is pretty mature and has plans of working hard and having a family. I don't know if you can suddenly "grow up" and become mature.
It kinda sounds like your bf is depressed. Depressed people find it hard to do simple tasks like brushing their teeth and want to spend all day distracting themselves to forget the pain.
But regardless of that, it's never a good idea to be 100% financially dependant on someone. You don't know what's gonna happen in the future, so you should def get a job for that reason alone. And when a guy sees his gf starts having a social life unrelated to him, he usually starts being more committed and engaged in her life.
>>47604>You feel bad that Native Americans in the US are poverty stricken
Not at all. What I care about is the cruelty that rises from dishonesty. The abject poverty isn't good, but it wouldn't be an issue if they were honest about the cause. There are tribes of far-off Alaskan Natives who live in even worse but they do so honestly.>who are you to say they are a "failure"?
Someone who knows objective meaning exists. The most diverse landmass on the planet, and they couldn't even invent the wheel.>>47603>Cuba isn't a territory of the US
Cuba was a protectorate of the US from 1898 to 1902.>>47607
I won't feel bad for them because they have every possible advantage they could avail themselves to but they won't because their culture and race are more important to them. They're prideful, idiot racists and deserve to be shamed for it.
>>47611>Cuba isn't a territory of the US>Cuba was a protectorate of the US from 1898 to 1902.
I need you to read that again, just say those exact words which you wrote out loud to yourself.
It's more complicated than that. Don't want to get into it further.
This is code for "I am literally retarded and confused Puerto Rico for Cuba."
Please explain how the Cuban missile crisis occurred if Cuba was a territory of the US.
>>47611>claims objective measures exist
<states that race doesn't exist but culture does
What a fucking position to take Jesus Christ.
Hnnnghhh I'm so lucky to have a skinny, tol, brown, bishounen bf, he's so hot
godddddd I just saw a picture of my ex on his work’s ig page and he looks even better than before like he’s all ripped and muscular now and he was smiling so cutely and I heard has a new stacy coworker gf fuckkkkk why does he look even better in candids i miss him and i hate myself
I've been so ridiculously horny lately that it's beginning to interfere with my daily life. I have to leave a room because the thoughts about wanting to be pounded becomes overwhelming and I need to relieve myself before I can continue with whatever task I was trying to complete. I don't even watch or look at porn, jsyk.
This was kinda hilarious at first but now it's become a real problem.
Are you ovulating? I only get horny when I’m ovulating nowadays. My legs start tingling and I get really antsy and irritable and it won’t go away until I’ve masturbated. And then the rest of the month I’m disgusted by the idea of sex lmao.
it's been like this for about the last two months. It's been gradual, but it's reached its peak around that time period.
When I'm ovulating it escalates to the point that I've prepared a schedule wherein I finish extra work ahead of time so I can just take it easy for my downtime.
>>47630>i hate myself
Why anon? Do you think that breaking up was your fault entirely?
You have to be over 18 to post here.
I've literally stated in this thread that race exists but doesn't matter. In the medical sense, sure, but not when it comes to ideology.
Recently I realized I’ve literally been asexual and sex repulsed my entire life but was in denial for a long time. Every time I would try to insert a dildo or a penis into my vagina I would end up having vaginismus spasms and would be in a lot of pain. I thought something was wrong with my psychologically and I would force myself to have sex because I was told it was all in my head. I’ve never met a single guy who was willing to accept a non-sexual relationship. So I put up with it in order to keep a romantic connection with someone, my ex would try to reassure me that I was just inexperienced and he could make me enjoy it, but looking back on it I hated every second of it and it honestly felt like being painfully raped over and over. Now I’m processing all this and it makes me cringe and feel nauseous to look back on. I can’t believe I allowed someone to hurt me emotionally and physically like that just to stay in a relationship with them.
promise of wizard.
red haired guy - mithra.
blond guy - rutile
I made a response to a vent thread a bit back about how I've never enjoyed any sexual activity I've been in up to this point-even with guys I loved, and I wondered if I'd enjoy it if it involved women.
Well, I've been. "Experimenting" lately. And I'm terrified. Horrified, even. The idea of being with a woman scares me half to death but I also want it beyond reason. I feel disgusted with myself. I think I'm no different from predatory straight men for being attracted to women but I can't deny it anymore.
How are you predatory like men for just for wanting to be with women? If you're actually a disgusting skeaze, okay, that's male-like, but same sex attraction is healthy, does not have to be perverted, and not necessarily male-like at all
I’m seriously considering hiring a female escort to have my first sexual experience with. Although I’m bi with a stronger preference towards men, men make me really uncomfortable in person and I can’t even imagine letting one inside me. I’m 28 and still a virgin, I just want to get my pussy licked at this point.
Some male escorts can do oral-only service, but if the fact that it'd be a man will make you too uncomfortable then you can go for a girl who'll service girls. Good escorts appreciate being briefed on the situation, so explaining beforehand to either the guy or gal you hire what the deal is will help a lot. Escorts who offer boyfriend/girlfriend experience are usually a lot better at making you comfortable and feeling out your boundaries, so try looking for that.
>>47702>anyone being attracted to women is automatically predatory
Geez. It sounds like you might just have a case of the gay (repressed type) plus some other issues. If you're attracted to girls then coming to terms with it might help the other issues shake out too.
Yeah, I know for a fact it's extremely irrational and even though I tell myself that, I can't help but feel that way cause of trauma bs.
I'll have to get over that before I even think about getting in any kind of romantic relationship with a woman
That makes sense. Good idea to get all that resolved first, good luck anon.
I wish I could get a decent male escort but honestly? I’ve looked on websites for my area and they’re all homosexual third worlders who seem like they’ve been trafficked and probably have an IV drug addiction. It would just make me feel sad and scared.
Meanwhile there’s literally thousands of regular college girls in my city doing escorting on the side now, it’s kinda weird but I’d rather just ease into sex with a girl because they seem much gentler. I wouldn’t wanna be alone in a room with a 35 year old meth addicted gigolo let alone let him inside my pussy. I would have a panic attack quite honestly lol. Thanks for the advice tho. Gf experience option sounds good.
>>47726>there’s literally thousands of regular college girls in my city doing escorting on the side now, it’s kinda weird
>I wouldn’t wanna be alone in a room with a 35 year old meth addicted gigolo let alone let him inside my pussy.
Sensible. Most male escorts are gay for pay and outside of major cities you'll not find any male escort who isn't a basic rent boy.
There is such a thing as a sexual surrogate, who are trained to help people work through sexual trauma or hangups, but those usually only work with licensed therapists, I've no idea how you'd go about getting one, and you're not seeking their services as part of a treatment plan so I don't know.
Keep in mind you're probably going to want a girl who's experienced with girls. Check their reviews if you can find them to see if other women have used their services and what they say. A college girl who's getting fucked on the side for extra money probably isn't going to be able to give you what you need. Finding a specialist lesbian escort is probably out of the question for you, but it might help.
How do I keep going knowing that I'll never touch my cat's cute little nose again? How long will it take to stop hurting?
wish i was rich and pretty and feminine. also wish i knew jpn and could draw, and was also good at math and programming.
at least i started jpn recently.
that's a lot for one person miner…
Also being good at math will only help you in landing a soulless job, or an insecure barely paying one, no inbetween. It's not the greatest skill investment to make
I wish I wasn't so bad at socializing.