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/feels/ - Advice & Venting

Talk about relationships of all kinds, ask for advice, or just vent

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How to regain a will to live? Anonymous 97073

Everyday is exactly the same. My drinking problems are getting worse. My best friend replaced me with someone else. I'm alone and have nothing to look forward to when I wake up. Almost killed myself last month. Nevertheless, I want to take a chance at life. I force myself to go for a walk everyday, I make myself tasty, healthy food. I want to get better. I want to stop being lonely and make friends I can share my love with. I thought of some things that might help:
>keeping a journal so I will force myself to do something new everyday to write about it later
>affirmations to brainwash myself out of negativity
>spending more time outside in public even if it's just sitting on a bench
>going to cafes to read there

Anonymous 97074


I came here with basically the same sentiment in mind. Days drag on and repeat themselves when we don't do something to shake it up. For me, waking up early, even if it means depriving myself of some sleep, makes it easier to use my time wisely and not feel so drained and disconnected. Honestly, the biggest thing that works for me is to just do something different. Big or small, as long as it feels big. Something scary, something you've wanted to do but have been avoiding, something you just found out about, something absurd and trivial. Just break the painful pattern.

I admire your efforts and motivation (even if it feels small or fleeting at times). I've been hanging by a thread most days and seeing others strive to overcome the death drive motivates me to stay too.

I started a list called "What To Do When You Want To Kill Yourself" to romanticize/pay attention to the little things I choose to do instead of ending it all. It helps me look back on my actions more fondly, whatever they might be, as if my life can act as a guide for others (be it "splurge on tiramisu" or "break your glasses on accident")

I had a gratitude journal laying around that I finally started to use. That's something to incorporate into your journaling. Lots of interesting prompts out there to try besides.

I'm not a big movie/TV person but out of desperation I ended up watching the documentary Shutz on Netflix. You might resonate with it too.

What have you been reading lately?

Anonymous 97089

I’ve been struggling with this too (as I’m sure a lot of people do). For me, I think it really is looking forward to the little things, but the little things have to be meaningful to you. For example, spending a whole night after work watching random YouTube videos usually makes me feel like shit and like I wasted the night. But when I read a book on a topic that interests me or watch a movie that aligns with my interests, I feel relaxed like I’ve spent my time meaningfully. My days feel so repetitive because of work and I hate it, but I try to focus on looking forward to something every night. I have a long list of horror movies I got from a book that I want to watch and a bunch of authors I want to read. So that gives me will to live because I want to finish my movie list and I want to learn more about the things that interest me, even if they aren’t relevant to my job or whatever.

Of course this looks different for everyone. Maybe you really like spending time outdoors so something you could look forward to is hiking every weekend or rollerblading or something. Or if you like playing video games that could be something meaningful too. Even watching random videos can be meaningful even if that’s not particularly meaningful to me.

I admire your efforts to keep living even though it’s hard to find a reason to sometimes. You’ve inspired me to keep going and I’m rooting for you!

Anonymous 97090

If you're not already in therapy, I'd really suggest it. In my experience, professionals (psychiatrists) view suicidal ideation/intention/rumination as a symptom of severe mental illness. While the mental health system is far from perfect, I do actually believe it has had a beneficial impact in my life after almost 2 years of being actively suicidal and needing inpatient hospitalizations. I hope you get better and find meaning.
For me, my therapist and I first worked on what was bothering me, my mental illness, and my background. We then proceeded to my goals (going back to school, getting in better shape, making new friends), which I've actually made a lot of progress with. Things haven't been perfect all the time, and I do still have breakthrough symptoms sometimes, but I haven't felt like killing myself for a long time now.
If you should ever feel unable to control the impulse to harm yourself, please call the emergency services or go to an emergency room yourself and tell them what is going on. They will make sure you are safe.

Anonymous 97097

Can you see a psychiatrist? Finally seeing one and getting medication really changed my life for the better.

Anonymous 97118


I'm rooting for you too anon! Little things help a lot. I like to take my time following recipes I find online because I want to try new things. I also want to visit different cafes and restaurants. I'm thinking of making a checklist. I had a ladybug land on my arm today, that's good fortune for both of us.
I've gone to many different therapists and psychiatrists throughout the years ever since I was a teen but they never really helped. They didn't have anything insightful to say, they'd just tell me things I've already come to see myself.It was often frustrating. Meds didn't help much either because the doctors were just guessing. I know I might sound arrogant saying this but I don't think everyone benefits from therapy and I'm one of these people. I don't want to start experimenting with meds either because they're a gamble and I believe that my issues are mostly caused by my loneliness and lack of purpose. Mental health services are also pretty shit in my country unfortunately.
Therapy textbooks helped me more than therapists tbh.
I still appreciate your suggestions though, my ex friend realy benefitted from therapy and I would have told her the same thing.

Anonymous 97137

I've had a similar experience with therapy and I generally think the modern psychiatric industry is an incomplete if not mostly distorted view of what's really going on.

Anyway, if talk therapy isn't for you, try somatic therapy. Or maybe find a jungian analyst if you're into that sort of thing. Art therapy too. Free resources and self led guides online if you're willing to just make that little effort to do something with intention.

Anonymous 97334

Going through something similar, you're still doing better than me by being able to go out every day and keep a healthy diet. I keep a journal, and I've found that it can help to get thoughts and feelings out of my head and onto the page, if not to abate them then at least to make sense of them. I've heard of affirmations helping people, they haven't done much for me though. Can't say about medication, not on any. Spending time outside can help especially if it's in the daytime. I'm not sure about cafes, cause I'm bad at ordering stuff and dislike being around large groups of people, but maybe it could help others I guess.
Other things I have found to help are talking to my family, even if it's just benign conversation. Reading also helps - I'm too busy focusing on what the character is thinking and doing to pay any attention to myself.

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