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/feels/ - Advice & Venting

Talk about relationships of all kinds, ask for advice, or just vent

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Anonymous 99669

I think I’m gonna break up with my bf and tonight made me realize how awful he is and how much I hate him.
I had a guy call down to the front desk at the hotel I work at. Says he just wants to talk. It happens sometimes a lot of these guys work on oil regs so I don’t really mind too much. But then he asked how old I am and how big my boobs are. I immediately call my bf because I’m freaked out. He yells at me and tells me to call the police (like what are they gonna do, what he did isn’t against the law and I’m probably gonna just get in trouble for being the police here) he calls me stupid and just continues to yell at me to the point I literally am bawling. Hang up on him and call on if the guests that’s married and chit chats with me and tell him what happened and if he could pls come down here and sit with me. He does. My bf didn’t even offer. After I finally just broke and was like you literally made me cry, he called me insane then told me good luck.. like why am I dating someone who doesn’t even wanna try to comfort me or protect me…

Anonymous 99670

A lot of men don't have the capabilities to even deal with the concept that their girlfriend might be desired by other men, let alone looked at as a woman

This happens really often and it's very sad. You didn't do anything wrong except reach out to a man you trusted when you were being harassed. Fatherless behavior from him, honestly

Anonymous 99671

Dude it just scared me so so bad. I was a little dumb and naive about it because he was offering me money but I just thought he was like drunk not that he was trying to jerk off to me. I’m just trying to make money at my job. I wish I was ugly and invisible. I can’t even go the gas station nearest to me because the guy always gets weird and flirts with me and I’ve asked my bf to go with because it makes me uncomfortable but he’s literally too lazy to even be concerned.

Anonymous 99672

Next time this happens, tell your manager/boss that someone is being inappropriate with you. this happened when I was a nurse. Some dude slapped one of the other nurses on the ass and one of the male doctors got involved and basically escorted the dude out.

Anonymous 99673

I would have but like she went to a funeral the other day and I didn’t wanna bother her at home cause like she’s going through enough..I don’t wanna add to this poor women’s stress.

Anonymous 99674

Just like called my sister and asked her to come sit with me till I leave.

Anonymous 99745

your job is not to destress your boss.

Anonymous 99827

That's hard to deal with. Probably your bf has some kind of inferiority complex and is enraged by speculating that you are courting the attention of these men.

Anonymous 99831

did u break up with him yet op

Anonymous 100146

Obviously but idk she’s nice and I understand that sometimes she just needs the night off
I don’t think so. I think he just genuinely doesn’t care about me. Anything I do upsets him. He calls me retarded all the time. I ask him to take me to work to spend time with me and he throws a fit. Any emotion that isn’t just adoration for him is left unseen or is a problem. I fucking hate him at this point like to my core. I rather be at work than around him.
I wish I would tbh but it’s like way too expensive to live on your own and I don’t have any family support. I just really hate him like to the point I think about hurting him. I’m not mean or violent. No one has ever called me mean. But he makes me feel so awful all the time. He treats me like shit and then makes me out to be some kind of monster.

Anonymous 100147

Like I get two days off and he gets 4 days off. I have essentially no time to myself and he has tons. But he will complain about having to clean or do errands. He is like dating a women without any of the benefits. He’s just a little bitch.

Anonymous 100149

I think he’s broken my brain tbh. Like he will say I don’t have empathy for anyone. But at work I’ll do so much work just so everyone else’s day will be easy. I wouldn’t call my boss when that stuff happened simply because I just didn’t wanna ruin her night because she was having a tough time. So I have just self isolated myself from everyone because I feel like I manipulate everyone around me and I hate myself now. Like before him I hated how I looked, I was very insecure about my appearance but I liked myself as a person. Now I’m I find myself attractive enough, but sometimes I wanna just rip myself open and rearrange myself so I won’t hate who I am. I wanna kill myself I feel so awful about who I am. He’s made me feel so terrible about myself

Anonymous 100152

Fuck this filth monger. You date a an absolute piece of shit. You need to stop emotional laboring for everyone tbh. Learn to love being hated even. Because no matter what you do people will live to tear you up no matter what you do as a woman,if you dont put up emotional labor boundaries. They see you shitting on yourself they will dump on you and use you to abuse you even more.

If you actually hate yourself that means you hate other women who would have nothing to do with behavior like that or a man like that and there's something steeply and insanely ick about that. You're better off looking after yourself before any shit tier moid who will do everything he criticizes you for and WORSE. NEVER let any moid moralize at you. You need to take care of yourself before anyone else because nobody else will. That's the bottom line. The world will chew you up and spit you out if you don't know how to be cool indifferent and brutal when you need to be. And if that means dumping a shitty delusional moid who wastes your time then get on it asap. Jesus christ anon

Anonymous 100177

An oil rig worker offered you money and you accepted/entertained this proposition? How are you NOT retarded in this situation?

Anonymous 100196

Um no I didn’t that’s kind of the the whole point. It upset me.
He literally broke into my Snapchat while I was asleep and I have two step verification set up. There’s nothing in there just me shit talking him to my friends and like guys trying to message me and me not responding. But it’s like what the actual fuck is wrong with him? I was asleep and he’s literally hacking into my social media. I hadn’t even given him the password. I don’t understand how he thinks has even slightly the right to be mad at me and not just embarrassed like he should be. When I asked him like what the fuck. He just like goes I was curious. FUCKING SO?!
But no I don’t hate other women. Hating yourself had nothing to do with hating others, that’s just silly

Anonymous 100197

Like him literally logging into my social media is worse than him just going through my phone. It’s not like he just saw my phone and got curious, he was intent on finding something so he could be upset with me or validate that he was upset with me. Which he does all the time like he wants a proper excuse to treat me like shit.

Anonymous 100200

He’s mad because he saw me telling one of my friends I missed my ex because he was nice to me and how he’s really mean to me. So that’s actually the best.

Anonymous 100204

Like the messages were about how he threw beer cans at me, slapped me upside the head. Called me a fat ass, a slut, and stupid. Then I said that I missed this guy and how he made me feel complete and like gave me confidence. Also these messages were from three years ago. I tried to explain he hurt my feelings and that’s why I said that stuff. He said that it was a justification and that I was lying and he has never slapped me across the face.( didn’t say he did, said he slapped me upside the head) oh then there was a guy sending me his address (first he knew I hung out with this guy, two I hung out with this guy and four other girls. So it wasn’t like that and that was like over a year ago) oh and he said it was on our anniversary( it wasn’t) :)) so he doesn’t even know when our anniversary is lol

Anonymous 100785

>Any emotion that isn’t just adoration for him is left unseen or is a problem.
I had an ex like this. He'd get super fucking autistic and clam up even if I was expressing a negative emotion about something unrelated to him (e.g. if I complained about one of my students or something).

In the end he ended up jilting me at the altar after buying a house with me. He somehow managed to effectively ghost me (e.g. getting his parents to deal with the dissolution of his half of the house instead of facing me directly etc.) after 6 years together.

So yeah, let emotionally constipated men become the genetic dead ends they were meant to be.

Anonymous 100802

>I wish I would tbh but it’s like way too expensive to live on your own

get roommates and leave. you have several posts in here about how shitty this guy is and you KNOW hes been physically, emotionally, and verbally abusing you. if you don't want to do that then seek out women's shelters and other domestic abuse/violence resources that will help u get out.

and please be careful. there's men that will try and succeed in killing their SO's when they try to escape. I think the DV resources will help you figure out a plan to safely escape.

good luck anon<3

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