Anorexia Wars Anonymous 19341
I have unwillingly joined the anorexia war.
I am not anorexic, the only eating disorder I have is binge eating and I had it for years which caused me to be overweight and dieting for most of my life with no fruition, I kept gaining weight but I quit trying to diet for a while and solved some of my unaddressed mental and behavioural issues then I started a diet seriously with a whole lifestyle change and it worked this time, I went from having a 29 BMI to a 20 BMI.
I still live with my mother and sister, I have always been the heavier sister, my sister is younger than me and she's been thin all her life, I have some knowledge of the ED community solely because of my familiarity with imageboards, and I know that k-pop fans tend to be part of that community, my sister would skip meals and she lost even more weight having the BMI of 16 so I was concerned and I told my mother about it and she said it wasn't intentional and it just happened, fast forward me losing weight a year later and she is still the same weight she is and she is maintaining it by calculating everything she eats, I don't care because she is an adult and she should know better and I feel like a hypocrite because I was on a strict diet for a while.
occasionally I talk about my diet on Discord because I am open about it, but I took a break about two months ago and realized that my sister is in fact competing with me, she started eating more and stopped working out when I took my break, and I'm actually slipping back into binging plus some of my old habits are slipping back because they are comorbid apparently. I am trying to get back into dieting because I haven't reached my goal yet and I have gained some weight bacl and my sister is back into working out and eating less, burning 500Cals a day and walking so many steps. it's actually absurd because one of the people from Discord who is a fatty started dieting also and she does keto and weird contemporary diets but she also started posting about burning 500-100Cals from walking and lifting weights, additionally, my IRL friend now talks about eating nothing all day but a bagel and coffee, even my aunt is asking me for diet tips and is trying to do an extreme calorie deficit diet, and I feel like I am being under attack while I was taking a break enjoying food and enjoying being a slob women around me are all starting to do these things that I shouldn't be doing because they're unhealthy but I am also spiralling back into my old self who had so many issues so I am more inclined to join the war and hope that I didn't waste too much time being a slob and I can catch up with the others.
I am not insane, all these women are seeing that I am happier and better looking than I used to be and are competing with me and it is making me rage because I haven't been on my top game and I have been telling myself that they just were inspired and it is good to be a good influence because I did it the healthy way, I take supplements and did regular blood work and consulted with my doctor and I made sure I ate food with high nutritional value, I told this to everyone that ever asked me for tips because I don't want to be responsible for people hurting themselves but they seem to not care about health they just want to compete with me.