I wish I could have sex Anonymous 20222
Posting this here in case someone who relates has advice.
I'm bisexual and have been with both men and women. It's always the same story. I feel sexual attraction toward them, and I can orgasm through masturbation just from thinking about them, but as soon as we go to have sex my vagina clenches and I can't feel aroused by any stimulation, much less orgasm. Partners in the past lost interest in me for it, even though I figured out how to get them off while not feeling anything myself. I'm not uncomfortable during it, nor do I feel awkward, more frustrated that my body doesn't allow me to feel aroused when another person is there.
Right now I'm with the perfect guy who is a lot more understanding than the others, although he says he feels bad that I'm pleasuring him but he can't pleasure me. We relate to each other and love each other so much. He's the kind of guy I would marry and start a family with, but I can't even do PIV.
I have blurry memories of what could have possibly been sexual abuse as a child from a parent, but I'm not entirely sure it was. I'm currently in DBT therapy with a good therapist who's helping me work through a lot of childhood trauma but because my therapist is male I'm embarrassed to ask him about help with sex.
I don't know what to do.
Anonymous 20223
>>20222How long have you been with him?
How long have your past relationships been?
Anonymous 20224
>>20223Been with him about 8 months. Past relationships lasted a few weeks to 6ish months.
Anonymous 20243
I have this issue due to memories of possible childhood abuse as well. I was finally able to have PIV with my partner last year but I still don’t feel anything pleasant, or really anything at all. I’ve been told that’s common for women but idk if that’s true or if maybe a ton of women are sexually traumatized and experience that as a result. My OB/GYN told me to go to a sex therapist and I’m still considering it. What’s most important is communicating things with your partner. If someone gives you shit for this, they’re not worth it. You literally can’t control it.
But anyways my best advice is to seek a separate female therapist who has experience with sexual dysfunction etc. because opening up about it and feeling uncomfortable might make everything around the experience feel worse
