/hb/ - Health & Beauty

Learn to have manners? You have to be educated into it from a young age otherwise it's continually putting on a performance and you'll feel fake

>>8846
I didn't say if you not lady like then you're a slob. I was calling myself a slob.

>>8845
Life is fake. So how can I fake a better life?

Emily Post's Etiquette is a regularly-updated etiquette resource. The second-most recent edition is recent enough that its advice won't be obsolete, and it can be found wherever fine books are pirated.

Remember, though - manners are tied to their time and place. If you're not leading a lifestyle where they're relevant, social rules are just trivia. You'll look less socially conscious, not more, if you ask for a shrimp fork for Popeye's seafood tackle box.

>>8848
Thank you I will look into it.

But I wasn't asking as high class. I was talking about basic mannerisms. Like how to keep in mind correct posture, how to end a conversation politely, what to do with your hands when you don't know what to do, how to look formal and put to get her, how to maintain eye contact and how to a enunciate.

>>8849

> how to end a conversation politely

I'd really love to learn that tbh. I always feel like I either drag on interactions when they probably should have ended minutes ago or I sound like I'm in a rush to stop seeing whoever I'm talking to with no in-between.

I feel like the eye-contact stuff is a matter of closely observing people around you, determining what an acceptable amount of eye-contact is and autistically fixating on it in social until looking at people the "correct" amount becomes second nature. Same with posture, but without the observational period (unless you're certain the people around you have good posture). Mirrors/reflective surfaces also help in the beginning because you can visually correct yourself. It's also good in that period to focus on how it "feels" so it's easier to do correctly in the future when you don't have those visual cues without fucking yourself up.

> enunciate

Do people have trouble understanding what you're saying? Because I personally wouldn't mess with that otherwise, especially since that seems like a "high class" thing most people don't actually give a shit about and just serves to make you seem unnatural/uncomfortable if you overcorrect.

>>8845
What a dumb way of thinking. Manners are a skill, like every skill they can be learned at any age. It's only fake if you don't want these manners and are pretending for others.

>>8854
The way you type indicates you haven't assimilated manners well, giving more evidence to what I said, that it's something you can't learn later in life. You either have it or you don't–and you don't I'm afraid

>>8854
Can you explain your view on mannerisms and list some examples, please.

>>8858
Braindead post, people can and do switch between different styles of speech, you'd have to have sever autism to speak the same way in an imageboard post as you would around say your parents

>>8858

Imagine thinking you could assess someone's manners through three sentences on an image board

>>8858
Bitch I can be mannered when I want to. The fact that you don't understand that it can be switched on and off shows that you don't know what tf you're talking about. You really think I'm gonna be well mannered towards a dumb anonymous poster on an imageboard?

>>8882
>Bitch I can be mannered when I want to
Ilu anon

Well I've been doing my best to keep in mind correct posture and limiting cussing. A lot of men, have been commenting of my correct posture. But I'm austistic so I don't know if it's a compliment or them making fun of me. I still say fucking a lot but it's been less. I plan on buying a new wardrobe soon. Since all I wear is jeans and tees.

>want to act ladylike
>live in a crime filled city where i need to walk 5+ miles a day and rub elbows with extremely violent hobos, literal felons, and random street criminals
>have to wear practical clothing to deal with the mileage and weather
>dress like I'm poor and ugly on purpose so I can avoid getting mugged or raped
it costs tons of money to be able to dress nice. you need to front rent for the nice neighborhood where rent is $2500 minimum, you need a car and a parking garage for the car so you can wear stupid little shoes that rip your feet up if you go more than a quarter mile in them, you need to get groceries at the whole foods instead of the discount store so you can stay out of the mugging-zone. i mean, must be nice. for me, it is the goodwill-purchased sweatpants and oversized jacket i'm hiding pepper spray in. and you don't even want to WALK like a lady because it's a signal, "I have money and am weak and naive, come mug me!" the only women able to act lady-like are trustfund kids living in glass towers. reality is that women get harassed and raped if they act like women.

>>9034
Get out of there!

>>9034
Where do you live?

>>9043
>commiefornia
close enough but I've lived in other places like this, too, and it's more and more common.
I wonder how many women have been raped because of liberal soft-on-crime approaches. Personally, I think all violent criminals should be immediately executed with a bullet to the skull, but that's just me. of course rich liberal women don't care about the poor women who have to live in the mess they vote for.

>>9048
I blame the economy

>>9034
>reality is that women get harrassed and raped if they act like women.
What does it mean to “act like a woman”? To wear uncomcortable shoes a size too small? To walk in a comically exaggerated manner? My god, I hate gender and the way people project gender onto everything.

>>9034
Are you even in the United States? Or some third world shitbekistan

And anyway I think the schism in this discussion is “ladylike” vs “feminine,” where ladylike seems to veer towards the prim and proper dainty archetype from the Victorian era.

>>9119
What is Femininity? Aside from dressing up and wearing make up? I rarely see actions as distinctively gender.

>>9325
I think that line of conversation brings us into the rabbit hole where other statements like “there’s no such thing as race, it’s all a social construct” dwell.

I mean sure, no single data point has meaning in a vacuum, but in aggregate across cultures and times we can clearly see certain behaviors and mentalities that correlate to “male behavior” and “feminine behavior.”