/x/ - /x/

A former friend of mine has recently managed to find some success with her craft, but now she's getting cancelled and I'm so tempted to pile on with all the terrible shit I know about her. I could instantly destroy her reputation. I'm not doing it because it would be obvious that it's me and she hasn't done anything irredeemable, just was a shithead to some people, vented disturbing stuff and did some stupid impulsive petty bullshit that only cancel culture cares about. I just have a problem with keeping secrets. I know how much havoc I could wreak and in that moment it doesn't matter to me if it's justified, I just want to wield that power. But I won't. I'm staying off social media until I stop obsessing about this.

Once I was walking past some young mother with a baby in her stroll and vividly imagined taking that baby and slam dunking it into the ground with full force. It was nothing more than yet another intrusive thought, but for some reason this one has stuck in my memories for several years now.

When I'm petting my elderly cat I think about squeezing her little skull tightly and crushing it. It makes me feel so bad because I love her so much and would never want to harm her.

>>2009
damn, anon, I can relate so much
I have similar thoughts when I pet my cats, not only about crushing their skulls but cracking them open by throwing them into walls, but I would never harm them, too

It's very mentally taxing, because even imagining these atrocities hurts

>Post your temptations here

BBQ Potato Chips

I've had intrusive thoughts about self harm this entire year. Every time I look in a mirror, "just fucking kill yourself already you dumb fucking bitch". Shaving my legs and picturing dragging the razor across them until the water ran red and wondering how long it would take for me to stop. That kind of thing. I think it's a reaction to being stuck at home with just my parents for so long.

>>2025
Every time you have that thought, tell yourself "not today, Satan". Don't give into stupid thoughts.

>>2015
salt and vinegar for me. I love the taste of acid sm I wish it were possible to consume that metallic taste in isolation like umami with msg.

>>2034
you can eat pickles

>>2035
no I hate them

>>2015
For me it's an chips that are ketchup flavored.

constantly have thoughts of gore, violence, and sexualizing things.
every day i try to push this crap out of my mind but it always comes back. very troublesome.

>>2157
Sounds like male puberty.

I keep getting thoughts of planning out an intricate alibi, breaking into my exs house and violently killing him for leaving me. yes im mentally ill no i wont fucking act out on it im not a retarded dickmale

>>2161
yeah ik…ive been trying to get better about it. i think part of the problem was id talk to moids whod send me gore (dogs being killed, jews being killed, dick cutting, wrist slitting). im pretty sure thats why my thoughts are so corrupted.

maybe when i kill myself ill go to heaven and be the prettiest guardian angel n protect everyone i love

snapped myself out of it cause when u kill urself u dont go to heaven

>>2232
When you die, you’re dead. That’s it. Make the most of your life anon.

>>2234
life is too heavy for me. i don’t know what to do i can’t get rid of the fantasy surrounding my death

>>2236
>i can’t get rid of the fantasy surrounding my death
i’ve had the same one for years, but fantasies are disappointing irl. they belong in your head and maybe they can inspire you in other ways, but if you tried to act it out you’d probably think: “well, that wasn’t so great. what did i go through all that trouble for?” they are nice to think about, when you’re alone and you have nothing. but it’s better to be more, to have more than that

>>2236
> i can’t get rid of the fantasy surrounding my death

When you die, you shit yourself. Whoever finds your body is going to see that and this will be your last mark on the earth. There is nothing beautiful about dying.

Here are some that I wrote down while I was having them:
>Take your pencil and stick it through your eye and into your brain, it would be so quick it wouldn’t even hurt just do it come on.
>Go into the kitchen and get a knife and kill your whole family and then yourself you will feel a lot better.
>Take the door and shut your fingers in it until the bone breaks you fucking piece of shit.
>Stop trying to rationalise these thoughts you know they’re true.
>Take the cord on the floor and strangle yourself you deserve it.
>Go get the car keys and get in the car and drive the car into a wall it would be really painless and you would be happy afterwards.
>I hate you I hate you I wish you were dead I hate you, kill yourself Kill yourself kill yourself kill yourself kill yourself.
>Scratch your skin until you can see the bone and your fucking nails fall off.
>Pull your eyelids until they rip off your face.
>Bite your thumb until you get to the bone then cut through the rest with a saw.
>You are making all this happen, do you hear me? Do you FUCKING HEAR ME? >This is YOUR FAULT, OK, YOUR. FAULT. >You are doing all this. The only person to blame is yourself. You are fucking insane.

>>2002
Sometimes I fantasize about grabbing a male by the hair and slamming his head on the ground repeatedly. And then I'd cut his genitals off.

>go ahead eat it just a little bit won't hurt
>eat eat eat you have to chew on something all the fucking time 24/7
>eat the entire fridge and throw it all up bitch you deserve to be a fat pig
Thankfully or sadly my gag reflex is utter shite and the only thing that keeps me from binge/purge shit is not being able to throw the entire contents of my stomach back up

>>2438
Based, I wish we treated boyim as property.
Moids cutting their own genitals off themselves wilingly is retarded as fuck btw but that's a whole other story not suited for this thread

>>2162 here.
I thought I was over it and could carry on with my life. I saw a message from him (sent today) in an old group chat left over from high school about some dating app-related shit. My first, instantaneous thought was to sign up, catfish him, track him down and gut him. He did not sign up for one, and I wouldn't do it, it's all just me telling myself how great it would be.
What the fuck do I do, girls? Am I finally going batshit insane?

>>2444
No man is worth all that. You need to stop letting your mind play through any thoughts about him. Keep yourself busy.

>>2002
I want to rob my boss. Specifically to steal pills and his wife’s cat. He (the cat) is super cute and I suspect the family doesn’t treat him right. As for the drugs, I’m not an addict but I have this urge whenever I see them to take them and see if I feel any better.

I would never because I need the money from the job to eventually get enough money to leave my parent’s house, but the thought comes whenever I’m reminded of them

>>2002
if i could, i would track down everyone who bullied/abused me and hurt them like they hurt me. i don't think i could kill anyone, though.

>>2026
I always wanted to throw somebody in one of these:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WOdZkSdNKSM

>>2002
I don't know if they are really intrusive thoughts but I have a lot of sadistic thoughts like people describe in this thread. When I was really little I would hurt my friends for no reason when we were playing because it was exciting. As I got older I realized I shouldn't do that and repressed it but I still have those urges. I am probably just a sadistic/shitty person rather than somebody who gets intrusive thoughts.

I do have a lot of thoughts about hurting people mentally and physically (actually I was thinking about scenarios rn and decided to browse net to chill a bit)
And I would never do something of it, because first of all, it is tiresome, needs a lot of motivation etc, and second - nobody's really worthy for me doing so much work about them, that would be stupid

I mainly think about killing my parents or myself. I love my family and I'm an only child so I have to remind myself I'd be extremely lonely without them.

>>2435
honestly sounds like you got OCD. a lot of thoughts like these can be classified as OCD (obsessive, compulsive disorder)aka you get compulsions like this. the right meds can honestly completely rid you of thoughts like these, but then when you're off them it's even worse. risk, but high reward. i recommend getting help

I want to return to 4chan and drive a femanon over the edge in a thread. I have other anons on my side. Could I drive her to suicide? I hate "know it all" woman. I want them to cry and break down. Just a dark impulse I guess.

>>2004
Why not? If she was arrogant and cruel then it serves her right.

>>2438
me too

>>2472
>>2472
I remember being in middle school and horsing around with a girl. I got excited so I got my arm around her neck and held my pencil as if to stab her in the side of the neck with it. It made me come alive. I don't think anybody thought anything more of it than just a joke but I look back on it now and think hmm there were signs.

Whenever I’m holding a knife cutting cucumbers or something I feel like stabbing my mother or myself lol

oh my god annoying things!!
On weird days I see people naked even if I don't want to. You know like standing in line, or at the store. Shriveled tits and all. Why?!?!? It feels like my brain is mocking me and screwing with me. This one time I thought about grabbing my bosses dick but I would have been absolutely reviled if I did it. I had no attraction to him whatsoever. Its like my brain punking me, it gets on my nerves. I think about all the horrible things that I would do to a dog if it attacked my cat outside too! But this is more of a scary survival fantasy. How I would open its throat with a knife, really clean-like. I wouldn't hesitate. I know I wouldn't. I hate aggressive dogs, so I would just open that muts throat. Any violent dog, attacking my cat, or a relative or my niece. I would open its throat, and it would give me a rush. ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

I want to split my stomach open, cut out my ovaries and sew myself back up again.
I suppose it's because I'm deathly afraid of pregnancy (even though I'm a lesbian, thus excluding any consensual PIV) but I'm not quite sure, maybe I just want to do grim things to myself again.
Not menstruating rn though.

I've been getting intrusive thoughts much more often and it's ruining everything. Its always pedophilia and incest related and they even manifest as dreams. I always daydream about cute scenarios between me and ppl i like but these days they all get corrupted with pedophila usually with me being the pedo :( or rape. I don't know why or how to make them go away.

>>8700
They say the best way to deal is to not engage with the thoughts. So like turn your mind blank and think of something else when it comes every time until it goes away

punching things mostly

i get sexual thoughts and images in my mind whenever i hear a noise or voice that i consider strange or that i can't see where it comes from. makes me really uncomfortable and i feel like a perv lol

Sometimes I have thoughts about murder. They're quite graphic, for example, I imagine beating them or smashing their heads with heavy objects.

>>2002
I find I can soothe my separation anxiety and loneliness by fantasizing about kidnapping my exes and just trapping them in my basement. I wouldn't do anything sexual really - it's just nice imagining I could talk to them an be near them whenever I want

>>8733
This does actually work. It took time but I was able to slowly disconnect from some thoughts.
But honestly I still engage with highly violent thoughts cause it's cathartic. Especially with the men in my city, my culture, the internet, etc. Plus it's funny cause the most violent stuff I imagine against one guy is literally just me wishing a dude larger than him would just do what he did to me. Or like imagining a group of guys beating him up and him having to deal with the terror of not knowing if he was going to survive that beating like he did to me and at least 2 other former girls he was with for his entire adult life. I don't want him dead I'd just want him to life with the haunting fears he gave women. It's probably not the healthiest long term but it's better than any self inflicted hatred

Making big cuts in my arms and make my father watch as I make them (he's hemophobic)

Flying to California, breaking into an empty Los Angeles mansion, and then shooting myself on some rich persons balcony or roof and dying there

Get a gun, shoot myself
Unfortunately it's not that easy here
Slit my wrist every time I hold a knife