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millie.png

Anonymous 452

Have you guys ever had any delusions? Episodes of psychosis? Paranormal activity?

I haven't really shared this story with anyone I know in real life and I'm a little nervous to post it, honestly. I'm sorry it turned out so long.

For a couple of months when I was around fourteen, I started to have trouble sleeping. I was a bit depressed and friendless, normal teenage girl. I sat around and played Gaia Online instead of going outside, lol.

I started to have more and more bad dreams. It kept getting worse and worse. At a point, after getting maybe an hour or two of sleep every night, I started to feel a… presence. Something had its eyes on me.

As this went on, I slowly started to piece together that the thing "watching" me was a demon. I deduced that there was a portal under my bed, leading to some kind of demon dimension. I felt one presence in particular. I named her Millie. My heart was pounding every night as I felt eyes on me.

This went on for days. Weeks. Months. My grades slipped. Different demons started to emerge from under my bed, watching me at night. I drew pictures of them. I wrote poetry about it. I wasn't sure what they wanted.

I tried to go to my guidance counselor and emphasized I was really depressed and needed help, but I was kind of brushed aside. I started to have anxiety attacks. I asked my mom for help, but she thought I was joking.

I started asking for help from my online friends. It was embarrassing to talk about and no one really took me seriously. I poured my heart out to an older, wiser woman I trusted. She revealed she had experience with such matters and witchcraft. She decided to have me do a cleansing ritual.

She had me clean through the entire house, and throw out all of the trash outside. I showered. I cleaned my room (Especially under my bed). I spread salt on the windowsills, doors, and especially under my bed. I distinctly remember my mom asking, "Is this the fucking beach?? Is this sand in your room? What are you doing?"

That night, I went to sleep. I fell asleep nearly immediately, and started to dream. I was inside a building that was shaped like a dome, the walls were made of stained glass. In the middle of the building, I saw my demon, Millie. She was still. She stared at me, grinning, baring all of her teeth. I walked up to her and started literally tearing her apart, limb by limb. I ripped off her arms, her legs, her head, she stood there and didn't do anything. I ripped out her black heart and balled my fist up around it, black liquid seeped through my fingertips, and Millie started screaming. I walked out of the dome-cathedral, and it disappeared behind me.

I have been free for almost ten years today.

I have had no trouble sleeping since.

Anonymous 663

>>452
I have a similar story
I used to have nightmares about this same lizard-ghost thing constantly as a little kid. I would even hallucinate it while awake. It's a horrible thing to have someone tell you what you can see isn't there while it smirks at you. For a few years I stopped dreaming about it. When it came back I realised that I had grown to be much bigger and could probably kick that lizard's ass. I tried to punch it, but that nightmare "stuck-in-the-mud" effect made my hands move slow. So I wrapped my hands around the monster's neck and strangled it to death.
When I woke up I felt glorious and I never saw the thing again.
It really does seem that the best way to stop recurring nightmares is to physically kill them in a dream.

>>452
Do you have any more of the pictures of your demons? Been 3 months since the OP so I ain't expecting a reply but it's worth a shot.

Anonymous 666

That sounds more like sleep paralysis to me.

Anonymous 668

>>666
>666
>on /x/, no less
You can't fool me, Satan, OP definitely banished one of your demons.

Anonymous 670

>>663
The OP is a digital drawing I did of her. I'll see if I can find a drawing I made of her when I get home today–i might have thrown it out in embarrassment since, but i'll check for you

Anonymous 735

Old thread but when I was 13 and undergoing a lot of stress, I had weird delusions about how everyone in my grade was conspiring against me. I also had a few days where I genuinely believed I had wandered into a parallel universe because I thought the colors of the scenery outside looked different. It's really weird shit, like whatever part of your brain that filters realistic and "fantastical" thoughts just stopped working. None of them ever lasted that long, and I remember occasionally being semi-aware that my classmates plotting against me didn't really make sense, so it doesn't fit what I've read about delusions that says they need to last a good while to "count". So I really have no idea what that shit was except "anxiety can fuck with you" I guess.

Anonymous 743

>>452
A few. When I was about 10 years old I thought I saw a ghost in my basement, which I used to think was haunted. It looked like a distortion of light suspended on strings, a bit like a puppet, and it was moving towards me silently. I ran upstairs screaming and cried in front of my sister.

Sometimes I've had hallucinations induced by lack of sleep, but these only occur after I've been awake for 40+ hours. Usually these will involve simple sensory issues, i.e. I will believe that it is snowing and suddenly all of the snow will disappear. The longer I stay up, the more frequent they get.

About a year ago I was deluded into believing that every person I encountered was watching me and laughing at me after an unfortunate situation wherein a group of women I didn't know started rumors about me, probably because people I didn't know really were doing something similar for a brief period, and this made me paranoid. My mom wanted to go to the nail salon and I was afraid to go inside and have the other customers see me. I refused to get out of the car. She tried driving to more nail salons, but I didn't tell her why I didn't want to leave so she was just confused. On another occasion we were going to breakfast, and as she was paying the check, these two girls who were sitting in front of us began laughing and I thought they were laughing at me and I walked out and stood by the car crying. My mom wanted to send me to a therapist.

Sometimes I still get paranoid and think I hear someone behind me talking about me, or multiple people, and I'll turn around and no one will be there. It's probably just the weather.

Anonymous 769

Akuma.Homura.full.…

>>452
Sometimes i legit think that God hates me and has cursed me to never be loved.

Its just a series of unfortunate coincidences and pretty shitty life that end up feeding the delusion more and more.

When i really hit rock bottom i can pratically hear It(he,she?? idk god) mocking me and telling me its impossible for someone to love me.

Still haven't been loved in 19 years so maybe im unto something.

Anonymous 776

>>769
That's not delusions or psychosis, kid. Please don't shit up the thread.

Anonymous 783

>>769
>That's not delusions, God talks to you and he doesn't want you to be happy
>>776
You gotta get loved just to spite God

Anonymous 784

>>783
God you're so cringey. Stop embarrassing yourself, anon.

Anonymous 785

>>776
>Thats not psychosis
????
OP here
>Literally hear shit in my head
>Belief in shit that is waaaay farfetched from reality, i mean seriously?? yeah totes god has a personal beef with Random College Kid
>Diagnosed with some few mental illnesses

Anonymous 797

67ab097e00b50de602…

I'm not sure if this counts as a delusion, but because of my strict upbringing, I feel like I am being watched by my parents, always. I always think of how they could be tracking me (other than the general GPS they have on my phone). They have told me they don't, but I'm not sure if I believe them. I feel like they still track all my internet activity and get into my personal things. Even when I'm out in public, I'm scared because I feel like they somehow will get someone to spy for them or that they are recording me somehow. Stupid, I know, but it feels so real. I'm also scared they could tap into my mind and read my dreams (I love sleep because it's an escape from reality, them shattering that would suck).

Anonymous 812

>>735
Wow that happened to me but I was 11. I went into an alternate reality where I was trapped in a bubble and talking to an angel man and shifting ages

Anonymous 815

1528318211653.jpg

>>785
Every person hears shit in their head. Problems are bound when you take that shit seriously.

Ergo this thread:
OP went to sleep one night and was cured just like that. This sounds a lot like a psychosis. Many psychotic people are looking for a magical answer, realization, or metaphorical key of some sort that holds all of their answers to their problems and happens over night.

Anonymous 817

I think I have been on the verge of depressive psychosis before.

I was working really hard and so stressed about grad school applications one night working late in a college building. It was like 3am and I was so emotionally numb and despairing as I walked back home…around every corner I literally expected and could almost see these big grotesque monsters. Like disgusting, terrifying creatures. I can't say that I literally SAW them in a full-on visual hallucination, but I felt like I was right on the edge of it. It sucked.

Anonymous 818

>>817
You're all over that, now. Right, anon?

Anonymous 824

>>818

Well, that was about 5 years ago and I haven't had an episode like that before, but I do still have depersonalization episodes a couple time a year when I get really depressed. :\

Anonymous 828

I was fully delusional for about a year over a guy who was a good friend, then boyfriend, then ex. After we dated I truly believed that our entire 5+ year long friendship was nothing more than an act on his part just to fuck with my head. I knew it sounded crazy but I couldn't stop myself from believing it.
I would constantly accuse him of it in front of everybody and just generally act super crazy. I ruined any chance of having a friendship with him, and that's all I really wanted. I didn't care about dating him, I just wanted him to be there for me.
I felt so out of control of myself that I thought I was possessed.
Eventually I got over it and realized how outrageous I sounded.
Any time I think about going back to therapy I think about that time period and it makes me shy away from going back, because no normal person acts the way I did.

Anonymous 829

>>828
That story saddens me, anon, but why? Why did you do that? What made you that way?

Anonymous 831

>>829
I don't know, I just couldn't keep myself from believing that he never cared about me and only wanted to fuck with my head. I knew it wasn't true but I just could help but believe it.
So I lashed out in ways I didn't want to, and just really lost myself.

Anonymous 832

>>831
There's got to be a reason, anon. Nobody just acts that way out of the blue. Someone must have said something to you. It can't be your fault.

Anonymous 835

I want to know if this is serious or not.

When I was in high school, I seriously saw a straight up ghost. It freaked me the fuck out. I saw it a distance away from me and then it turned a corner and I when I looked down where it would have traveled, there was nothing there. That freaked me out because I kept on telling myself as I was walking after I saw it that I must have seen a white car that I somehow mistook for a ghost, but no, if there had been a car, I would have seen it by the time I looked down the alley. I remember the ghost so vividly. Its robe was flowing with the wind and shit.

Anyway, so I've always dealt with many stupid fears like seeing my reflection or other reflections of demons in the glass at night, feeling like something is outside, etc. but recently it's gotten extremely bad. I'll see these shadowy sort of human-like figures quickly run from one shadow to another, but I think I must be freaked out and conjuring it up in my head. It's happening more often, and I'm trying to not care about it because I don't want to encourage my mind to generate these stupid shadows, but the problem is, when it happens, I feel so terrified and as if I'm going to die.

I also will try to go to sleep and I'll stay up for hours with my covers over my head convinced that someone is outside with a gun and that they're going to shoot me if I move. It's stupid and I don't think that's a delusion because I'm making it up, but idk. For fuck's sake, I wish I could stop thinking about this stupid shit.

Anonymous 836

>>835
How early back can you recall seeing these visions?

Anonymous 839

>>835
You sound like me.
Ever since I was really little, I truly believed I was being watched and would be murdered at a young age. I'm so petrified of windows, mirrors, and sounds in the night that it isn't uncommon for me to sit in a single spot until the sun rises so I can sleep. I can't tell you if it's paranoia or psychosis, but I have been diagnosed with the latter. The psychiatrist who diagnosed me wasn't really aware of all of that, though. I had a "challenging" adolescence and I truly wonder if the guy just wanted to cast me aside because he was known for putting this diagnosis on teens.
If you haven't already, look into seeing a professional and try to rationalize with yourself when these things happen. It may or may not help, but it's worth a try.

Anonymous 840

I've been hallucinating spiders… I'm kind of scared

Anonymous 841

>>840
No judgement and no malice intended, but have you recently started any antidepressants?

Anonymous 843

>>841
no, just sometimes when i open my eyes i think i see spiders. nothing else weird has happened to me

Anonymous 887

So far I’ve had delusions three times in my life. I think they all were caused by extreme anxiety and stress.

1st time
During my final year of college I didn’t leave my apartment for three days after reading about “Planet X”. I actually thought I was going to die and didn’t go to my classes or speak to anyone for days. Now I can laugh about it but at the time I’d never been more terrified. I guess the stress of finals caused me to snap.

2nd time
This was the scariest one. Often on my walk home from work I’ll call my family to catch up and chat. This time a man picked up and said hello. It was my dad but I didn’t recognize him. I kept talking but in my head I “knew” this wasn’t my dad but an imposter. Then he puts my “mom” on the phone to chat for a bit. I didn’t recognize her either. Another imposter. I was so freaked out and worried if my real parents were ok and who are these imposters. Once I hung up I felt normal again. Very weird.

3rd time
This most recent incident happened almost two years ago. I was watched a movie with my bf and he asked to pause it for some reason (I forgot). As i’m waiting for him I am staring at my painted nails. When I look at my thumbs I suddenly feel my stomach drop. I’m freaked out, are these my thumbs? They don’t look like my thumbs. They look crooked and broken and painful. I felt like I was high on drugs.


That’s all I got for now.

Anonymous 890

a few days ago I was convinced when I woke up that I was on some sort of drug. I went back to sleep, woke up, believed I was on the same drug, and tried to sleep it off again and again until it was the next day. I realized the next day how completely stupid the idea was of me.

Anonymous 912

I had a pretty severe "gonna stuff everything that looks like pills or powder in me"-phase in my early 20's.
At some point I was so fucked up that I had several day long episodes which partly disconected me from reality to a point where I thought I'm dreaming. Without drugs.
It felt the same. My body was numb, voices and faces were hard to recognize and understand, I kind of couldn't grasp the concept of cause and effect or time anymore so everything was a totally magical experience for me (things like setting the alarm clock or day/night cycle) but also scary sometimes. Saw things that werent there, spoke to people in my mind while starring at them, silently, for hours (in my mind they answered).
Its also all very blurry and to this day I cant seperate the very vivid dreams when I was asleep and the very dreamy real world when I was awake.
The only really bad thing that happened was that I tried to chop of my index finger with a hatchet because I have a small lizard tattooed on it and thought it was venomous and will bite me.

Mind you that this little incidident (I was to weak and the hatchet too blunt to cut trough the bone, luckily) made me skip drugs completly and my episodes got less intense and became more rare every month till I lost them nearly completely after around a year.
I still stutter a bit sometimes and tend to have "blank moments" in memory now and then.

I also sometimes miss this time. The world was just 200% more colorful and full of adventures but I feared that I could become (seriously) dangerous for me or others at some point.

Anonymous 915

>>890
>>835
Anon here. A few days ago, I heard the radio turn on. I was like, okay, probably some alarm, I need to go turn it off. I walked into the room where the radio was and as I go nearer to the radio, I hear this clear as a bell, audible "Heyyyy" in a weird voice. It sounded like it was right next to me. My friend was all the way on the opposite side of the house in the bathroom, so he couldn't have gone to where I was so fast, but I called his name anyway because I was so scared someone somehow broke into our house. I went to the bathroom my friend was in and confirmed he was there. He checked the room for me and turned off the radio. No one was there.

Later that day, as I was going to bed, I saw a man sitting on my bed and some object on my bed. I don't think this is weird, though, because I was probably falling asleep.

Anonymous 916

>>836
I never responded to this, sorry. Since my early/mid teens?

Anonymous 1340

Hell_Map.png

Dead thread but reviving it.

I believed in a Mind-Hole that prevented me from thinking about God and my existence in reference to him. He was controlling my thoughts and plans and inserting ideas into my head about homicide and suicide. I truly believed that I was being tested by him to do harm against others or myself and that if I passed the test, I would pass the material world into a higher world and become a god myself.
I believed only myself and God were real, and that everything around me was fake and part of the test. Everything I googled did not show up online and I believed that God purposely removed them so I could not find an easy answer.
I died when I was 8 falling down the stairs and ever since then I've been living in his test.

I was hospitalized shortly after an episode and after I was released, I believed the police was following me. I saw police cars constantly and police men in multiple establishments around where I lived that would stare at me. I also thought people were taking pictures of me in public when I was smoking. People in transit that held their phones towards me were taking pictures of me as well.

I think I'm better now. I don't really have these delusions as something that I feel to be real but I still think about them some time, like I was "deactivated" for some time further. Sometimes I freak out because I hear weird sounds that aren't there but it doesn't really get in my life.

Anonymous 1341

7ad709ee4800e5d2dd…

/x/ is best board on Crystal cafe

Anonymous 1354

i once saw a tiny elephant in my room when i was on acid

Anonymous 1355

>>1340
I believe in your mind hole too. I have a suppressed superstition that there's something I'm not allowed to think about, that both my thoughts and my speech is blocked. the thoughts are delivered through a sieve, I can touch that they were once there, but I can't express them. I wouldn't be able to say exactly what I can't think, but power over consciousness to this degree is attributable only to god or to the sum of humanity, which must be the same thing. I think we are all suppressed this way, because I really do think it is global consciousness itself, the spark that produced sentience, which is permanently unhinged and attempting to repress the disruption as not to further the fissure.


but to no avail, something's coming

Anonymous 1381

1532039810950.png

>>452
I was half-asleep in my bed when suddenly I heard a voice in my mind telling me to let them in. I knew that if I did I would die. I was starting to lose control and I felt myself slipping away and I got so scared I think i woke up some kind of last second strength and I managed to fight it off.

Still no idea what the heck that was but I really think I almost died that day.



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