/feels/ - Advice & Venting

If you had a similar experience before please please help me.
>bf and I started dating 1 year ago
>since then we have had plenty of problems mainly due to me
>I haven’t cheated on him but the first huge crisis was because I got confused on my feelings for a girl coworker
>plenty of micro fights and conflicts over the time because we don’t understand each other, we have different ways of communicate and expressing love
>second big crisis was me telling him I yearn for a ex classmate and I had dreams of him
>I broke with him after this
>oh no no no.jpg
>beg him to come back but now we aren’t an official couple, we refer to each other as bf/gf though
>we still talk, he’s damaged but I’m trying to gain his love and trust
>he’s been distant, we don’t talk for chat except for gn/gm, he’s also busy with work, studies, gym
>told him I feel displaced
>he says he’s focusing on himself and that I’m always feeling like shit so I bring him down
>”work on yourself you need to get better”
>he’s paying for my therapist and other medical appointments
>currently suffering of chronic fatigue due to unknown causes so I don’t work nor study
>today had a new breakdown because he doesn’t talk to me at all, we only saw each other on Saturday and then the chat died
>finally says he doesn’t love me like he used to do
>I knew I love him more than he loves me now but before all the problems it was the other way around
>”do you think you could love me as much as before again?”
>”I tried but I doubt so”
>been crying for hours
>called me, asked him if it’s the right thing for him to end it all
>”I will not break with you in the state you are”
>”you need to get better”

He doesn’t talk me because he doesn’t feel like it. He’s not enthusiastic about me unless we are physically together. He says we always have problems through the chat and it’s true. The relationship it’s crumbling and what’s hurt the most is I don’t have his whole love anymore. I know this is getting unhealthy for me and him but I don’t want to let him go. I adore everything about him, he’s such a nice man. He’s 21 and I’m 23. I think once we mature enough he could love me as much again if I don’t fuck it up. But rn this is tearing apart specially because I don’t do shit for my life except cleaning the house, going to the gym and rot in bed. I feel so tired I can’t do more than the basic.
I couldn’t stand seeing him with another woman I’d rather kys.
Him saying he doesn’t love me unconditionally anymore destroys me inside like I’m being stabbed in my chest.

Please help me. I’m downing here in my misery and it’s also raining fuckkk. Awful day. Be brutally honest or be compassionate. Just help me. I want him to love me. I want to be his priority and I’m no longer am. I used to be.

>>117577
Why is that toothless, slimy thing suddenly everywhere?

>>117579
it's a baby hippo

>>117579
Its name is Moo Deng and it's a baby hippo.
I think it's ugly.

>>117581
Looks deranged, like its in chronic mental pain. Brave, little soul, someone should put it down.

Started uni again after the first time I dropped out and had a breakdown. Not surprised to say nothing's changed the only person I talk to regularly is the Chinese girl that nobody else talks to. I don't know why it feel so medically impossible for me to have friends or fun or I guess I do know I'm just a depressive hole. AND now I'm home alone with no friends and a cold waaaaa poor me.

>>117586

I get you nona, I also feel like it's medically impossible for me to make new friends. Whenever I try to talk to new people my brain turns off and I forget any and all conversation topics

>>117583
>>117584
Imagine being a contrarian over a little hippo. Embarrassing.

>>117592
People are allowed to not like things and find stuff visually unappealing.

>>117578
>relationship is crumbling
im afraid there is no real relationship left, anon. ive been in a similar situation and theres not much you can do. you cannot force something that isnt there and expect things to be the same. youve fucked up in the past and hes totally over your depressoid bull. he seems likes he trying to distance himself and fix you at the same time so when he leaves it wont be such a toll on you.

>>117580
say "my bmi and weight are x and x. only a damaged person would write this lol"
>>117589
sounds like you need to learn how to be relaxed around new people, easier said than done

I have issues handling rejection and fucking failure, i cant confront anyone properly at times. also cant believe fucking moids are so insensitive. why cant they just be more emphatic? is it that hard to put away the logical answers knowing that im still trying to process things?

>me and my classmates had to do something for our work group regarding recording a band
>last moment the band just dipped and we had nothing to work with
>teacher blamed us for not bringing the band and seemed like he was just throwing all of the shit on us
>stress skyrockets and feelings of failure go through the roof that i breakdown in the bathroom stall like a fucking maniac
>girl from my group was the only one who escorted me to the infirmary
>still end up depressed after that and feel like my world was crumbling so easily
>teacher tries to talk to me but gave me a motivational speech on like to look for positive things and that its still my fault, great job jackass
>leaves me crying even harder
>another teacher passes by while getting some air and he just laughed at me and tried to do the same thing of putting things on a balance blah blah fuck you
>only person who actually decided to comfort me was the psychologist who was a young woman
>not even a single of my moid classmates in my group gave a shit abt me either

I dont ask anyone to be an empath but i just notice this shit always with moids.

I'm doing just fine with still a light headache, still regretting all of these cuts on my wrists but dont look so bad since they are bandaged. I just dont know exactly why i fear this constantly of failure or cant handle stress so easily. it was fine before but now i simply just spiral so easily that i already overdosed 2 times. im getting professional help but still a few days away from it.

>117638
>stress skyrockets and feelings of failure go through the roof that i breakdown in the bathroom stall like a fucking maniac
>girl from my group was the only one who escorted me to the infirmary
Does your school have mixed gender bathrooms? Based on the way your story is written it appears like no men would have been in a position to escort you because they wouldn't have been in the womens' bathroom.

>>117640
Forgot to tell but after I broke down I went to the recording studio where all my classmates were there, though they all saw my wrists, the only one who took initiative was that girl. I don't mind that much its just that the guys were kinda slow at catching up with me and didnt give a shit at all abt asking me anything. Whatever its all done.

>>117641
Also no, we dont have mixed gender bathrooms, thankfully.

>>117634
You can join local clubs relating to your interest, go to the library, or take up volunteer work to find new people. If you have any friends, ask to meet their friends!
I know all of these things seem tiresome but unfortunately, you do have to put in effort in order to create relationships with other people.
I used to have the same problem as you, Nona. I was tired of being lonely and barely having friends until I made the effort to reach out to the people around me. Now I have girlfriend and a whole lotta friends that I love and appreciate.

It might seem hard at first, you won't make friends with everyone, but it will all be worth it in the end. You just need to start taking one step each day to reach your goals of a social life.
I believe in you, Nona!!

I feel like I can’t get along with anyone because I really hate movies and TV and it limits what I can talk to people about. Watching them makes me feel sick and disturbed when I know how the film industry exploits women, and seeing sex or nudity in movies and shows just sends me straight into a suicidal doom spiral because it just drives it further home that all humanity just sees the sexual objectification of women as entertaining. It makes me sick.

They keep calling me animal names and degrading and abusing me.

There's been multiple break-ins nearby and my housemate is gone for the weekend. I don't know how to confidently use his gun, he set up the cameras outside, that are now out of battery, so I can't reach them and I keep nervously using his thermal scope to scan the yard, but I don't know where the charging cable is and it's already down to 50% battery. I just feel really unsafe and I don't have anywhere or anyone else to stay with.

I'm dealing with constant false alarms with smoke detectors and it's stressing me out badly, mainly due to the extremely loud beeping getting on my nerves and giving me anxiety even though I know there's no emergency. Also constantly on edge wondering if it's going to beep again. Some people said dust or insects can trigger it so I cleaned them out and hopefully no more beeping. Would have just replaced right away but there are reports of false alarms with other brands too plus it's expensive.

>>117670
If your housemate has guns, cameras, and thermal imaging technology, I think they may be a paranoid schizo.

a moid at work is being insufferable and i want to hit him with a stick and a brick.
first he approached me in a mildly non-intrusive way, mentioned by bf so i thought it was ok. i was nice to him so of course now he pesters me endlessly for attention and sulks when i don't give it to him. buys me sweets, texts me, constantly invites me to events after work. the worst is that this slimy detestable scrote has the gall to act like an offended drama queen when i politely refuse his desperate pleas for attention.
my work involves networking and one-on-one spontaneous casual meetings are essential. this shit is not only annoying, it's actually negatively affecting my career. i want to maim him.

>>117680
HR now

>>117677
He was in the military, so he's into all that stuff, and he installed the cameras to make me feel safer. I really regret not going to the shooting range with him to learn how to use the gun.I looked it up online, but I don't want to risk screwing it up.

>>117677
What's your reasoning? Not everyone lives in Japan.

So if my man is being raped to homosexuality, I’m in the right to encourage suicide, right? It’s a better fate.


Men should be willing to fight and die to stay straight, but if they get rapped to homosexuality they become terminal. We love our men and understand that all guys are gays, but they’re supposed to overcome that and find freedom through marriage with a woman. All I’m saying, if I man is rapped to homosexuality against his will; that’s tantamount to murder on the side of the rapist and his death would be a mercy killing.


Fight and die for the union

>>117687
You're insane and should actively seek help from a professional

>>117687
no anoushka what is wrong with you

>>117687
Is this trolling?

>>117578
>>117605
I broke up with him but we got back bc the day we broke I went to his job to wait for him to talk. I’m deranged.
He’s clearly less interested in me like before but he wants me to get better because I’m in a dark place mentally and physically which makes me drag him w me. It’s fair and I once was the one treating him like shit while he worshipped me. I don’t know if it’s deserved but is the natural course of things. Good thing
>he doesn’t want to break up, he has faith in me and the relationship
>wants to live together, marry, kids etc but only if I’m mentally stable
>yesterday we joined together to a boxing club
Bad thing
>he doesn’t love me like the first months, probably will take a lot of time (or never) to reach that point again so he doesn’t show love the same way/frequency
He’s busy as fuck and prioritizing himself so why I am so selfish? Do I adore him like never before just because he’s not giving me lots of attention and I’m afraid of losing him? Is he going to get bored of me at some point?
I’m honestly tired of having an ache in my stomach and burning pain in my chest. I want to start enjoying food again. Stop obsessing over his fucking chat. Things aren’t over holy fuck. He loves me, he listen to my crazy rants and reassures me -in person bc he sucks at chat-. We will still see each other weekly…even if I’m more enthusiastic about it than him. If it were up to me I would live under his sheets. I’m frightened of being abandoned. Shaking and crying and throwing, make it stop. The logical circle in my mind
>focus on myself, get better, b more disciplined, IMPROVE MY HEALTH (very important), get job, study
>slowly shift attention to myself and my achievements instead of seething over him replying me 2 hours late
>this clingy neediness disappear, I’m far more composed, I’m not extremely anxious with or without him
>we still together, stonks
So easy to say it but rn in the present moment I want to take my eyes and heart out

>>117687
you're so right queen

I'm just gonna post this in the emptyness that is this place. It's very tiring to be there for a suicidal friend. Obviously, I won't let go off her because I love her and want the best. But it sucks that sometimes I can't really vent out my frustrations either to keep her afloat. I wonder if there are other people that are friends with depressed/suicidal people out there that feel the same. I just need to hear from people like you if possible. Trying to feel a bit less lonely. I'm trying my absolute best to make it better for her. I guess I wish I could cry a bit too because it hurts to see her hurting like this.

I had an abortion last Friday. Has anyone else here had one? What are your thoughts on the matter? My mom thought it was for the best and I believe she was right, but for some reason it ended up being a really heartbreaking experience. I've always wanted to be a young mother and this was probably my only chance. I'm 19 and I work in a grocery store, my boyfriend is broke most of the time because he's been having trouble finding jobs (he works for a construction company) and I don't have a high school diploma. Maybe I could have gotten my GED before giving birth and then it would have worked out, probably not. I'm still having cramps which are a side effect of the procedure. Now I am desperately trying to think of ways I can prepare myself so that we can have a baby in the next couple of years but my bf doesn't think I'll be ready, he wants to wait. I know he's right but I can't stop thinking. I see babies everywhere now… All I want is to hold my child.

>>117738
PS. I'm not very good at articulating myself so I'm sorry if I sound like a dummy

Every day that passes by I can't help but think that it'd be nice to permaban some people from existence

wanting to dye my hair dark again so SO badly

What is the likelihood of someone being too busy to text back….?

>>117744
It depends. Are they a busy person? What do they do for work?

>>117738
Damn nona.
>it was really heartbreaking
Killing your baby is heartbreaking, imagine that. Did you think at all before doing such a thing, or you just blindly listened to other people's opinions on whether the life inside you should be ended or not? And that your boyfriend was ok with killing his child, instead of being driven to find better, more stable employment to support his family, is scary, honestly. You should abstain from sex if you're not ready to have children.

>>117744
highly unlikely if it's a moid

>>117744
If that person spends a lot of the time in the phone even while working then unlikely.

>>117746
Be gone moid

>>117745
they work a job where the work shifts are 12 hours and sometimes they’re in areas that don’t have great reception.
>>117747
Really Nona….? He seemed nice though….
>>117748
Well we hung out last week and he didn’t really get on his phone.

He hasn’t been great at answering texts since we started talking but now I feel like something has changed. As in, he’s just done answering me and I don’t understand.

>>117750
if he travels for work I'd say it may be pretty reasonable. you hung out so that's a good sign too

>>117749
>only moids care about unborn babies!!
Deranged.

If you don’t like videogames that’s fine, but don’t belittle the entire medium just because of moids, some women have been playing videogames since the PS1 era.

>>117751
I thought so. so I haven’t been super weird about texting. We met in person which is unusual and it was kind of cute how it happened. I feel like I ruined it though…

>>117755
How did it happen? If he seems nice you can give him the benefit of the doubt, but be careful, especially if you're not experienced with guys.

>>117752
The only women who are anti abortion are religious crazy people, and it’s probably your parents or your husband who made you this way. Look for resources to help you get out of your abusive relationship, and get therapy if you can. You need to get this brainwashing out of your head.

>>117577

My ex bf’s girlfriend made a post about me and asked how she can stop comparing herself to me, which I find pretty ironic considering the fact that he left her for me. He emotionally cheated on me with her and started dating her two weeks later. It’s been two years and assuming they have been together for two years, it’s pretty fucking funny to me that she’s insecure about the girl that her boyfriend left behind in the dust. I’m not even that pretty either. What could you possibly be comparing yourself for? Right before he broke up with me, I literally vented to him about how jealous I was of his friendship with her……. and he breaks up with me right after. You literally won.

>>117760
My family are all strongly pro-abortion and atheists. Imagine being such a misogynist that you think women can only adopt the opinions of the authority figures in her life instead of coming to her own conclusions. Take your own advice and talk to a doctor about your lack of empathy for the most vulnerable members of our people.

>>117756
We met at work. I work as a cashier, and we would smile at each other. At first, I thought he was just being polite. Then he asked for my number. I don't think he’ll text me back, if I'm being honest with myself. I might have scared him off.

>>117765
What do you think you've done to scare him off?

>>117763
can i ask where you saw her post about you?
like how do u know if it was her

I don't know if I should try to get a diving license or not. I think I'd love it and would maybe make a few friends but I don't want to sit on a boat half-naked with multiple middle-aged men for 20 minutes.

>>117809
Not that anon, but why is an entire family being a pro-abortion and atheist unrealistic? A person largely gets the majority of their beliefs from their own family. Also, I have found that it is usually Americans who argue about abortion in terms of spirituality. In Iceland, people with Down Syndrome are straight-up aborted for instance so that they have almost no people with it (I am not saying this is a good or bad thing, just pointing out that very many people do not care about abortion or don't tie their spirituality/religion to it)

Yeah I’m done being emotionally dependent to my bf. Can’t eat, can’t sleep, chest always hurts, addicted to our few interactions. What the fuck is this. Really. I already have a lot of problems myself and now I want his approval like a child with his parents. This madness gotta stop.

I'm sick of myself for being too scared to cut off people I want nothing to do with. I have this friend who, at times is great to be around, but most other times makes me feel awful. I care deeply for her, but she emits such a potent air of negativity.. like it feels dark, even evil at times. She is the only friend I have, yet I think I would be better off having no friends at all than to be around her.

She cannot go two minutes without speaking negatively of people, even those that are supposed to be her friends. In the past, I confided in her and shared very personal information. I was foolish at the time and didn't understand her true nature. I just know she gossips about me to others. I know she calls me "this bitch" and a "fucking weirdo" because that's what she calls all of the other people in her life. I know that she must have shown other people our texts because she shows me other people's texts to her. If I were to end our friendship, I can't imaging what she would say about me to others.

She's a person who violently latches onto others and then wonders why so few people in her life stay. There were multiple times when, if I didn't answer her texts within 30 minutes, she would walk to my building. She would slam on my bedroom window from outside to get my attention and to let her in, uninvited. It got to a point where I kept my curtains shut permanently just so I could hide from her. Just so I could feel free from her constant surveillance and leave my current location unknown.

When things are going well for her, she tirelessly searches for something to be upset about; whether it be past friendships that ended for reasons that were "not of her fault", or comparing herself to me for pity. If there is nothing negative to be said, she is dead silent. I went out of my way to plan a dinner for us as my treat, and it was the worst dinner of my life. All she did was sit in silence UNLESS she thought of someone to talk shit about. I sat across from her wide-eyed and with an uncomfortable smile on my face because… I was appalled. I have never paid for a dinner so quickly in my life. I wanted to be gone.

If there is something negative to be said, she will talk on and on and look at me for approval… As her friend I try to agree, but in my head I want to kms because I agree with nothing. When she asks me what she's done wrong in each of her relationships (romantic or not), I have no idea what to say because, if I point out what she may have done wrong, she will do the most extensive mental gymnastics to justify her actions. And somehow, even though I KNOW deep down that she was in the wrong, her explanations manage to contort my brain into agreement with her. I never know what to say when she asks for my thoughts on these situations.
It's like facing a once abusive parent now that you're an adult; they directly ask why you think they were such an awful parent, and you stare blankly at them because you can't find the words to say. You second-guess yourself, even thinking, "Wait, was it really that bad? Am I being too sensitive? Am I making this up?", even though you really were abused by them.

I fear that I am no better than her by posting this and I know that the only answer is to end our friendship, but I'm not mentally prepared for her reaction. I go to a small university too, so it further complicates my fear of being gossiped about.

Now that I have re-read this a few times it's really pathetic, but this is a vent thread, aferall. So here it goes

I wish I was hated. I need a rival. I want someone to fight. Someone I wake up each day just to hate back.

>I’m unworthy of someone else love
How to deal with a guy that says this?
On one side I feel like it isn’t worth pursuing someone emotionally unavaliable.
On the other side I feel like I’d be just proving him right by stopping caring about him. And I hate losing.
He’s not a badboy or anything, he’s actually pretty gentle and fun to be around, just extremely broken. Why do I have to obsess over a person like this…

I’m addicted to digital self harm I think. I keep purposefully looking at incels and misogynists and pedos out of a sick fascination with them. I start off laughing at them for being pathetic, but always end up dooming over how horrible they are and how popular their ideas are becoming.

>>117818
I'd leave if I were you nona. This will never end up in a healthy relationship. Yes you will prove him right in a way but you gotta take care of your own life first.

>>117818
Tell him that it hurts you that he won't accept your love and that you are willing to give it to him as a gift because you care.
If he still doesn't accept it then leave, he clearly doesn't want to work on his issues and wants to submit to his own self-fulfilling prophecy.

Coworkers are all significantly older than me and treat me like a kid (I'm in my thirties, they're in their 50s)

Can't into discord.

Try to interact with people on tumblr but I can't seem to make the jump to friends.

>>117577
Should I date a guy who has an ugly face but a really nice body If I also have an ugly face but a nice body? Tbf he thinks I'm beautiful but he's kind of stupid. Are we "looksmatched"?

>>117835
Never settle for a guy nona. It will eat you up inside all your life.

>>117837
If I don't settle Ill be alone at that will be worse. my one dream in life is to find love

They're really all like that, aren't they? And I do desperately wanted him to be the one.