Spoiler
Anonymous 72147
Wheres the img from????
Anonymous 72157
I'm a womanchild due to childhood trauma and everyone around me lowkey hates me for it and thinks I'm pathetic. I know it's bad but I don't want to change.
Anonymous 72158
I keep wanting a bf who gently bullies me and constantly teases me, but comforts me when I get upset at him. I'm not sure why I'm like this. I think it's because I had a crush on a guy who acted like this before and I hated him, and when he saw he went too far and I was sad he was really sweet and tried to make me feel better. I know this is toxic lel.
Anonymous 72167
ever felt so shitty you don't even know what to vent about anymore?
Anonymous 72173
>>72157Why do they care so much if you’re not harming anyone.
Anonymous 72175
>>72173Society hates women for existing. If one woman does something wrong, they will take this as proof that all women are corrupted. You don't need to be in the wrong to be targeted. You are guilty by association. They will latch onto some minor idiosyncrasy and shit themselves over how this makes you inferior. A woman can go about her day completely normally, not realizing anything out of the ordinary, and a man observing her will rage about what she is wearing, where she is going, who she is with, her emotional state, her manner of speech, his perception of her thoughts, and the mere fact of her womanhood, none of these things having the slightest impact on him at all except in his own mind.
Anonymous 72207
>>72173Normies love to make everyone else's lives their business because they are constantly parading their own on social media.
Anything that deviates from the normalfag grind that is party and whore around in your teens and twenties, spend your 30s working yourself into a stupor, start popping out kids and settle down with a beta is automatically shunned and viewed as maladjusted or bad.
If you're just a harmless aspie nerdy chick who likes to spend all her time doing her favourite hobbies and has no interest in marriage and kids or whatever, you're going to be seen as a pathetic freak womanchild who needs to grow up and either start wageslaving or settle down and pop out babies. That's basically the dichotomy you need to fit into if you want to be even a tiny bit respected.
Even supposedly progressive western countries are incredibly judgy and police-y on how women live their lives and if you aren't a full time wagie career woman or wealthy housewife and mom, you're seen as a loser failure, the only solution is to not care at all basically and do whatever you want. Society hates that, they always require you to be either a slave to a man or a job.
Anonymous 72208
>>72207I just wanna eat corn chips, drink sodie pop and collect sailor moon figurines. I honestly could care less if normies hate me for it. I'm not hurting anyone and any qualms they have with my lifestyle is their problem. Omega female grindset.
Anonymous 72213
After years of mostly browsing imageboards, I’m having a severe FOMO about interacting with other women.
I’m sick of scrotes, but I don’t feel Instagram/Tiktok/etc gives me the kind of in-depth conversations I need.
I’m wasting my time by having a hobby that I couldn’t ever make a career out of, since the field is full of scrotes.
But the quality of the conversations keeps me intriqued.
But at the end of the day, they’re all scrotes that would only see me as a walking vagina if they knew me.
I want a genuine friendship with someone who shares my interests, and doesn’t see me as a piece of meat. I’m pretty lonely and it’s not getting any better as the years go by.
On that unique occassion I did find a fellow woman, but she ghosted me, and I guess I’m still not over it.
Browsing 4chan makes me anxious, because I know I won’t ever find any friends from there, but I genuinely don’t know where else to go.
I tried to post in the Friend Finder in here, but everyone who contacted me was a fucking scrote, so I don’t trust it, sorry.
Anonymous 72221
Screenshot_2022011…
I'm so sick and tired of the sexualisation of the female body. I see this perversion in movies, books, commercials, ads, music videos, games, posters and the list goes on. I'm tired of being reminded that I'll always be seen first for my body, I'm so sick and disgusted of watching our figures getting chopped and focusing on our crotches, breasts and hips, even in shots where the body is fully visible the head is mostly excluded. Today I saw a poster at school advertising a gallery with skulptures.
Well guess what? The sculptures are just disgusting perversions of our bodies, featuring fully skulpted breasts, hips and waists, while the main focus falls on the crotch, while the head, arms, and most of the legs are not even sculpted.
I'm so sick, sick, SICK of this stereotype: when we focus on a male character, we focus on his characteristics and story, while when we focus on a female one, the focus falls of the body.
Looking back at the children's shows I notice how much the female characters are sexualised. Club Wings - a show where the main girls fight dangerous monster, you would expect them to have good armor. But no, they have to wear miniscirts and tanktops. It makes me feel grossed out thinking about all the shows I grew up with that featured sexualised female characters.
The realisation finally hitted me while I was playing sonic as a kid - why, even though all the characters are animals - do the males can only walk in gloves and shoes, completely naked, while absolutely ALL of the female characters have to wear full clothing? I'm simply tired.
Anonymous 72222
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>>72221Yeah its gross but its the typical male gaze theyre obsessed with femininity and curves. Just wear baggy clothes and big jackets sis so no one can see your figure underneath.
Anonymous 72225
>>72222That's a really scrotey pic to post tbh
Anonymous 72226
>>72222I wasn't talking about my body being fetishized - I meant about the female figure as a whole. Also I'm wearimg baggy clothes since I was a kid, andwearing baggy clothes won't tame the coom chimps.
Anonymous 72228
DzVI8LzUcAA4LdO.jp…
I'm so sick of my period pains they're so bad I wake up at night all the fucking time and spend so much of the day doubled over in pain. Most of the time painkillers dont do anything and I'm at my limit why do I have to do this for another 30 years and they wouldn't even have to be this bad if I could just get sterilised instead of having to have a fucking coil
Anonymous 72229
>>72228Can you get ablation? Why can’t you get sterillised?
Anonymous 72231
>>72229I'm in the UK and no doctor will refer me for any sort of sterilisation because I'm "too young" (I'm 26). When I've mentioned the side effects and the nightmare that was using hormonal contraception was they just don't care
Anonymous 72232
>>72231They tried that on me but I wrote a letter of complaint pointing out all the methods that didn’t work for me and that their info is wrong. They say no because they think that women under 30 have a regret rate of 20%. It’s actually women under 30 who have already had a child that have a high regret rate. This is because the sterilisation can be done at the same time as the birth, meaning that the woman is making the decision while under the influence of hormones and at a point when her life is about to change. For women that have never had a child, never wanted a child, the regret rate is something like 7%. There’s a paper on it from about 1990 I can’t find it now and there haven’t been many others on it. If you ask on r/childfree someone will know the one I mean.
Anyway, I wrote a letter pointing all of that out and that the doctors I had seen had repeatedly lied about other contraceptive methods having the same failure rate and recording my reasons I told them wrongly and I got approved to have it under 30. I never did because I got annoyed when another doctor again tried to fob me off even after all that and I decided to go private instead but that was entirely my choice.
Anonymous 72235
>>72217Linux, programming, and tinkering with old hardware.
Anonymous 72241
>>72213>I couldn’t ever make a career out of, since the field is full of scrotes.huh?why?
Anonymous 72242
My best friend that I talked to daily for years ghosted me and I feel so utterly alone.
Anonymous 72243
>>72221Same. I’m extremely conscious about this thing every day and it’s so tiresome
Anonymous 72247
I want to fuck and be Patrick Bateman (from the movie) so fucking much I can’t stand it anymore. I want to fuck him because he’s hot, but I want to be him because he’s peak aesthetic…I’m a fat failure I will never have sharp cheekbones as him and the cold psychopath stare along with those duck lips. It’s incredible uncomfortable to wake up every day not looking like him, having tits and a pussy and saggy skin. I watch some badass videos of him and think to myself how miserable I am to not be literally him. I hate this skin of mine, it’s like a prison that keeps me from being who I aspire to be.
Anonymous 72254
>>72243Why don't you just wear baggy clothes and a mask (and even a hat)?
Anonymous 72255
>>72254Because that won't stop the sexualisation of women in media dummy! We aren't talking about ourselves, we mean that the entirety of womanhood is perversed trough media.
Anonymous 72256
I still think Armie Hammer is hot but simultaneously wish someone would smash his head with a hammer because he deserves it
Anonymous 72261
>>72256I still don't really see what he did was so bad. So he said he wanted to eat his gfs ribs? Who cares lol.
Anonymous 72263
>>72258
No it won't stop. Men will always pervert the female body at all times. In arabian countries women are forced to cover their entire bodies with cloth, sometimes even eyes. And yet arabian countries are the ones who consume the most porn.
I'm starting to think that you're not a woman, but a coom chimp.
Anonymous 72264
Does anyone else here experience severe mood swings while on the pill?
I looked at my journal and realized that the days I felt like utter shit and instigated fights with my e-bf were either during the sugar pill days or right when I would start up a new pack.
I'm taking OCPs for management of my PCOS symptoms. I really feel like I'm much more emotionally stable and energetic when I'm off it. Ugh, I should talk to my gynecologist about it.
Anonymous 72265
>>72263They watch porn of slutty western women because there's barely any Muslim women in porn. If all girls in the world are wearing baggy clothes at all times there can be no porn. It's those western women who sexualize themselves and shoot porn who ruin it for everyone else.
Anonymous 72266
>>72265Ok girly go put on a burka so those evil western men won't sexualize you. But remember to take it off whenever your forcefully married husband orders you to.
Anonymous 72267
9.png
I'm so sick of living with my mom. I can't even open a door at night without her freaking out about the dog getting out and being eaten by coyotes. The dog doesn't even try to get out. I have literally never had any accidents with the dog.
It's four in the morning. Why can't you relax? I am a naturally calm person, but she always gets anxious about the most ridiculous things so then I get anxious in response.
It's okay. I'm over it.
Anonymous 72268
>>72265you’re retarded lol i wish you lived a wretched muslim girls existence so you could see what it’s really like you retarded white girl
Anonymous 72271
>>7226398% of porn has male directors. Also even if there are no women in porn, you kniw men can just go to sexualise women in comics, video games, animated movies, books… And the list goes on.
Also have you heard of sex trafficking? Milions of women are trafficked to perform sexual acts on people (sometimes while recorded) againts their will.
Anonymous 72273
>>72265It's men's choise to watch porn. They can easily avoid porn if they want, but men are all biological mistakes who can only think about sex.
Anonymous 72287
It makes me sick how common cheating is. You give so much in a relationship but sooner or later he will betray you.
Anonymous 72301
>>72264Yes, I posted in the last thread but my anxiety spikes the week before my sugar pills to an extreme degree. The rest of the month I can manage my anxiety but not then. My therapist recommended I ask my doc for anxiety meds to take just during that week, I would definitely talk to your gyno
Anonymous 72303
My tits are horrible. I’m just 20 and they’re saggy like pancakes, they’re 80% loose skin and stretch marks because I’ve lost and gain weight like crazy for 4 years now due to multiple eating disorders I’m still healing of. I’m always self conscious of them even when wearing a bra because they’re like shapeless water gloves being forced into a position and the way they bounce it’s just disgusting. I’m always hiding them in my home too the few times I don’t use bra. I’ve tried change my attitude towards them but I’m so so deeply insecure because I know they’re objectively ugly and not the norm for a woman in her 20’s. This affects my romantic and sexual life too of course, I have never taken my bra out during sex. I’m afraid my only option it’s surgery.
Anonymous 72312
>>72290
I also hate rich celebrities talking about mental illness or saying they struggle with mental illness. They’ll never know what it’s like to be a normal human being. I never feel bad for them when they come out about their “mental health.”
Anonymous 72351
I subtly enjoy pissing off wagies by telling them I don't work and never intend to. I never ask people what they do for a living but they ask me and then get hostile and passive aggressive when I tell them I'm a neet and never intend to get a 'real' job. Sorry that I refuse to be under peonage.
Anonymous 72355
>>72312What a fucked up take. You think deaths like Robin Williams and Heath Ledgers are what, just attencing-seeking? Sure there's some bullshit but fuck.
Anonymous 72367
>>72355Oh, fuck off.
Heath Ledger fucked things up for himself by getting into drugs. He had the multimillionaire lifestyle and somehow fucked it up. Robin Williams is an exception since he had a terrifying brain disease. I’ll try to dumb it down for you since you’re so obtuse. If an average person and a millionaire both claim to have mental health issues, I’m going to sympathize WAY more with the normal person,
Anonymous 72372
>>72303I’m the exact same, same age too. I also relate with the ED’s but mine is mostly resulting from being an obese child/teen. I never take off my bra only to shower and sleep (which is also uncomfortable because of the loose skin) it’s like body horror to look at myself, I can pull the skin and it’s essentially empty saggy skin. Don’t even get me started on how it looks when you bend over. I’ve not had sex and I don’t think I will because of it. It also hinders me from pursuing a relationship. It hurts because even with a surgery thats going to use up my life savings to that point (which I don’t currently have but that’s my plan) I’ll still be left with hideous scars and most likely nerve damage/numbness. I’m sorry anon, I wish I had advice for you but all I can offer is my solidarity.
Anonymous 72378
>>72351Based. Most wagies want you to suffer like them and give in. I did and I regret it.
Anonymous 72380
Is it normal to keep on leaving friend groups and online communities because you get really sick of them? I’ve bounced from one group to another within a year because I eventually feel put off by negativity and drama in said groups that I stop interacting with everyone. I sometimes wonder it I’m the problem because I can’t seem to get along that well with people other than my few close friends irl. A few online friends have asked me to hangout irl and now I’m paranoid I’ll end up bailing on them again. How the fuck do people have cool social life going with other groups of women
Anonymous 72381
>>72380Could you have asperger's anon? One of my symptoms is constantly annoying people without meaning to, especially in groups. I also try too hard to fit in and then get burnt out and drop contact.
Anonymous 72393
>>72372Thank you for sharing your experience anon, I knew plenty of women stress over this problem but due to my insecurity I’ve never talked about this irl. It’s exhausting to instinctively hide my chest when I fear being exposed even when I’m just there on pajamas in front of my family. In regard to your fear of the surgery, well in my case my mom had it when she was like 48 and the results were amazing so I got influenced by that fact. She always says that if I want to operate in the future I have to be willing to pay a good amount because if you’re stingy with plastic surgeries there’s a high chance of end up botched, so yeah I’m gonna spend all my savings on it too. Still it’s a bittersweet feeling to go under the knife when I try to build confidence around other things besides how my body looks but looking at the mirror when naked hits so fucking hard I barely tolerate it, you know how it feels.
Anonymous 72394
>>72393>>72372>>72303You don’t need surgery. I don’t mean that as a “learn to live yourself” thing because that stupid. I mean it in a realistic way. Men do not care as much as you think they do. You only care because the media makes it seem like any amount of sag is bad when it looks fine, even the types you are describing. No one cares about men’s saggy balls because they aren’t shamed over it. Just stop letting it control your life.
Anonymous 72396
I'm getting tired of my parents. I have a younger brother (11) who I feel like parents are turning into the worst type of young man. They bought him a couple of devices to be playing and watching videos 24/7. He barely does anything else at this point, besides when he needs to do homework, eat or take a shower.
I made sure that I installed parental control in every device, but I'm afraid he'll turn into your average porn addict, 24/7 gamer who doesn't have any skill. I'm tired of telling them what they're doing, but they don't listen, they just tell me "leave him alone, he's just having fun" and it's so frustrating because I don't want my brother to turn into one of the things I hate the most
Anonymous 72399
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I have never realized until now how much i just wish for someone to tell me i am beautiful. I know i am not and it upsets me that i won't ever see myself as such, or have people view me as a pretty person til I get surgery, which i plan on doing.
I've grown up denying myself even thinking about this, unironically doomed by all the "not like other girls" memes, getting into geek-y stuff and tomboyish interests on purpose to seem cool, and trying to fit in with boys while antagonizing women, maybe i deserve what i am in now, but damn does it hurt. i just sends me further down the self destruction path knowing i am and will always be unlovable. I am happy that it is now more mainstream to cheer on femininity and view it as a source of pride and empowerment, maybe less girls will find themselves in my position now
Anonymous 72400
>>72396Try being upfront with him about it, children that age are much more aware than they seem. I have a sister around the same age, same problem, literally 24/7 glued to TikTok and douyin, at first i was passive about it, but then i had to have her sit down and have "The Talk" which my parents were too careless to do, that seems to be working better than anything else
Anonymous 72402
1641238627061.gif
I get so mad when I hear the phrases "men builded the civilisation", "men created the world" and etcetera.
They never gave women the right to have education, to ne in a workplace with a big role, to be leaders untill 1890. They treated us as incubators, forcing us into our homes, never giving us any human rights and then the coom chimps beat themselves in the chest saying "I builded civilisation!"
This world is a joke, I'm sick of being a woman but I don't want to troon out.
Anonymous 72405
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I hate my body so much. I used to be underweight with a flat stomach and a thigh gap as a teenager. Everyone would tell me how skinny I was. Now I’m medically overweight (BMI 24-26 probably) and I’m almost always subconsciously sucking in my stomach. I suck in it extra hard when I’m taking a shower so I don’t have to cope with my disgusting body. Eating junk food is one of the only things that makes me feel joy.
Anonymous 72408
>>72399You don’t need surgery anon. You need to be more confident and accepting of yourself. That is what is really attractive. Getting plastic surgery will not solve your problems and only attract moids wanting to take advantage if you.
Anonymous 72413
>>72381I don't have aspergers but thanks for replying. Maybe I just don't fit in
Anonymous 72428
Lately I've developed this coping mechanism to deal with negative or uncomfortable experiences, and I'm sure it's not healthy or normal.
Basically, I replace the bad memory with a false good one.
For example, last night I met my friend at a restaurant. I was experiencing pretty bad anxiety before I went to meet him, and even though I tried to calm myself down beforehand I was already in this bad headspace. I felt like the whole time I was there I was just anxious and standoffish and acting strange and I'm sure he noticed.
It was kind of an awkward experience overall and I left feeling worse than when I arrived, absolutely worn out.
But this morning when I woke up, still feeling weird and anxious, I decided, no, I didn't meet my friend at the restaurant last night. I didn't have a weird experience. No, I actually went to this sweet dive bar last night! Yeah. I went to the bar and I met this really cool guy with similar interests. We hit it off, I surprised myself by telling a couple clever jokes. I made him laugh. I had a good time last night.
And I just do that. Like I try to replace memories with good ones that are totally fabricated to try to save my ego.
It's got to be insane. Not sure why I'm doing it. I don't know of anyone else that does this. But it works for a while, as long as I keep imagining these false memories then maybe I won't feel so bad all the time.
Anonymous 72431
>>72428This is a technique used by therapists to stop patients replaying and deepening painful memories. Good thing to do as long as you are still in touch with reality.
Anonymous 72446
Ek4wGa_XYAAMdaW.jp…
im so messy and unproductive, i barely care about my health or myself in general and i unironically act like all those "uwu im so quirky, health problems, mental illness, lazy and relatable uwuwu" meme-people, except it's worse because, as i said, it's unironic, it's how i genuinely am. i wish i was as perfect as Seraphine for example, because the easiest way for my slimy death obsessed brain to understand this stuff, is to liken in to fictional stuff and pop culture, but im not looking for life lessons off media and vidya, i want instant dopamine. seriously though, i genuinely wish i was a better person but i also don't want to work towards it, it takes too much effort, im just gonna lay low for a while now and see what happens.
that's what i miss the most from my pre-recovery (anorexia) life, i was more organized, and i loved myself more, i worked out a lot, i was skinny and didnt feel disgusted with myself at all times, i felt so in control of everything, i was good at video games too and got my work always done in time, it just doesn't matter much now because im never catching up with schoolwork anyway university is soul-crushing, i suck at video games which is more upsetting than id like to admit seeing as it used to bring me comfort whenever everything else about me sucked, and i just genuinely hate the way i look now and i don't want to improve it because i just hate myself so much. all in all, it's stupid (but we know it already) but i genuinely wish i was like Seraphie xdddd. i was just going through her old twitter(aka the.corporate scam for all the KDA cosmetics that don't even look that great in game) and i realized, wow, yep, a year or 2 ago i was just like that, an organized, cheerful individual with also my own Twitter account that looked the same. i just like stalking my old account from that era too, to feel sad about what i was and am not now. idk what i want to do though, i don't want to relapse full on because then i would flunk school even worse than i do now, and if i fail and don't ultimately die, it's gonna be bad for everyone, which is the more likely choice, so i just have to wait around and see what happens now
Anonymous 72456
>>72241>trouble getting hired>shittier pay>belittlement>all kinds of harassment in and out of workI would rather NEET than follow this dream, just to be brutally crushed.
Anonymous 72461
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>tfw media paints men as these complex tortured deep nuanced creatures
>tfw in reality they're all horny ape brained NPC's with the same basic personality and opinions
Anonymous 72467
I wish the shizo at the army my bf is (involuntary) in that didn't give him the phone today to call me fucking explosive diarrhea.
Anonymous 72470
why did my boyfriend move me out here to be with him if he’s not going to pay attention to me ever. I’ve lived here four years and I’m mad I left my friends and family to be miserable
Anonymous 72475
>>72470Move back before you waste any more of your life. He's already checked out.
Anonymous 72488
>>72461Males grew up with this illusion. They're always portraited by media sa these beautifull, intelligent, complex human being that are here to give the pitifull females a meaning.
Meanwhile in reality 80% of men watch porn daily, only know to play video games and most of them get ED by 20 or 30.
Anonymous 72490
Comments shamelessly ripped off ONTD, but they really resonated with me and I thought it was interesting food for thought – about prenups and financial competence.
>Women are encouraged to be careless with finances bc ~love is what matters, whereas men are taught from a very early age that what's theirs it's theirs & what's their wives' is theirs as well.
>I've said for years I won't get married without a prenup and everyone is like "I don't have anything to protect" or "he wouldn't do anything to me". Well of course you don't think that now, but shit changes, and divorce can bring out some really toxic behaviors. […] There needs to be so much more education around money, particularly with feelings and emotions out of it. […] People, especially women, need to understand their risks better, and how to plan accordingly.
>I practice family law and the number of women I see in their 40s-50s-60s who were led to believe this by husbands who later under up divorcing them is so scary. A lot of them don't even know what accounts they have.
Anonymous 72493
>>72490Great points, thanks for sharing. ONTD is really underrated when it comes to these things.
Anonymous 72494
completely and utterly heartbroken and i think i'm going to kill myself over it
Anonymous 72497
>>72494C’mon anon. You feel bad now but you will feel better soon. Take some painkillers (not an overdose, a normal dose has been shown to help with romantic heartache), some chocolate, get into bed, put on a movie you like, relax, take a nap, write about your feels, and it will all pass soon. I promise.
Anonymous 72498
squidward looking …
I found out my dad has been having an affair. My mom is a complete irl "trad" type woman, to the point where it was always off-putting to me. As for my father this didn't surprise me, but the fact he continues to disrespect my mother despite all she's done for him makes me sick.
Further, the woman he chose to fuck has mental health problems that mirror mine. I don't even want to unpack the implications there.
I can't say I ever liked my dad, or even stuck by their religious beliefs, but this was the final straw. My mom deserves better than this shit. Besides her values, she was a good mother to me. She has no idea this is even going on. I feel so fucking dirty right now.
Anonymous 72512
I don't know why but in recent years I've gotten much better looking despite being pretty old.
How do I know this? I constantly got insults regarding my appearance in my early 20s, including when I was at my skinniest in my entire life (around 22 BMI), in which people constantly shit on me for looking haggard and old. Not one male had EVER by that point in my life indicated in any way he thought I was female. I got a really dumb complex about it all…it really bothers you when people just look at you in disgust or scream at you how ugly you are, y'know? Especially when you really have barely anything else going for you and just want to live a private life to yourself.
Years later after working out and gaining about 10 pounds, things have weirdly changed.
People think I look like a teen (which is kind of insulting in some contexts) and ask me about school without knowing me at all. I get "oh my god, you look like a model", "why the fuck do you look so different? did you get plastic surgery?" and people being extremely confused a lot.
I no longer get screamed at by random men about how ugly I am. Of course I'm not really followed (helps that I'm taller than most men in my area and probably more intimidating) or crept on, but…the look in peoples' eyes is just way different when they look at me now. Guys of all kinds are more friendly to me too or at least apathetic. Huge improvement.
I think now I finally am "meh" looking, all things considered. I still am unconfident and a virgin (well, I've been talking to a guy online for a few years, so that's something). But it feels weird and the way I feel about it…it's like people are just lying to me. I wonder what it feels like to actually feel ok about yourself…whether it's the impression you leave on others or, just being happy with who you are or what you do.
Anonymous 72514
>>72158I also want a tsundere boyfriend anon
Anonymous 72517
tim buckley.jpg
>minor inconvenience
>resort to drinking
>feel alone
>resort to drinking
>happy, sad, indifferent
>resort to drinking
I've already wasted so much money on this bullshit, I feel so terribly guilty over it. I'm not even an alcoholic, I'm only 21.
I'm such a burden to everyone, I know I'm tiring everyone, one person has already stopped talking to me over this.
There's no words that can describe how much I hate myself.
Anonymous 72519
I'm in an informal renting situation with a guy who I also work with. He's been such a shitty landlord and has subjected me to some of the worst living conditions I've ever had. Not only that, but he's made me uncomfortable in other ways a few times. It's to the point that not a day goes by when I don't think of him and get really angry for the humiliation he's brought upon me. I live surrounded by reminders of him, and I also see him often at work. I can't avoid seeing him. Even if I lived somewhere else, I can't get away from him completely without finding a new job and moving to a different city, uprooting my life and possibly derailing the trajectory of my career.
Anonymous 72521
1643090103524.jpg
This is a positive vent. I wanted some guy so bad, and now I'm finally free. I don't need him, he was honestly kind of boring and had terminal incel brain. I was distracted because he was attractive and crazy in a way I could vibe with, but I'd have a terrible time with him. Also, I'm literally hot. I shouldn't even be worried about my skin color, or have to worry about begging to be liked lol. I knew this before, but I couldn't internalize it. It didn't seem true, and now everything's just clicked. I feel fucking good
I was literally feeling sad/jealous of other girls he'd probably "tolerate" more, but the truth is, he'd definitely abuse/manipulate/cheat on them all (like he has before, and has admitted he'd do!!) and call them dumb holes or foids or roasties or whatever and blame them, even if they were straight out of an anime. There is no winning in this game. Even if he liked me and decided I'm an "exception", he'd just racially abuse and undercut me anyway because that's another way to control, and he probably has freakouts that make him turn on anyone that's been kind to him like a typical deranged moid. If I'm dumb enough to simp for him knowing what he's like, he'd know that and always hold it over me. That's what manipulators do. Like, what the fuck would I look like playing catch-up and remedial to someone who didn't even reach my bare minimum? A fucking moron
Glad god(dess) saved me from my naivete, glad I randomly dropped him, may the pick-me in me continue to stay seated
Anonymous 72525
>>72517well, you CAN be an alcoholic at 21
Anonymous 72530
1636350174167.jpg
>>72517>I'm not even an alcoholic, I'm only 21.I don't know about that one
Anonymous 72541
>>72517Having more than one drink per day is alcoholism in women, our livers can't tolerate more than that . If you're "drinking" more than just having a bit of wine with your dinner, you are an alcoholic.
Anonymous 72547
>>72541Amy true alcoholic will tell you it's not about the amount you drink but not being able to stop when you want
Anonymous 72548
I can't text any of my friends back, I'm too depressed and fucked up. It's been weeks. I'm going to lose them and it's my fault. I'm not worth being close to anyone. I'm so fucking stupid.
Anonymous 72549
>>72517Sage for oh my god, I fucking love Tim Buckley
Anonymous 72550
>>72517I've been there in my early 20s. Try going sober for a while. It sucks but it will help you sort things out.
Anonymous 72551
>>72547I don't want to drink but still, I do, does that make me an alcoholic? I don't drink till I lose control of my actions, I've only done that a handful of times, I usually have 3-4 shots of vodka then go to sleep.
I don't consider myself to be an alcoholic, I feel like if I labeled myself as an alcoholic, I'd be insulting
actual alcoholics, I'm not addicted, I don't steal or do fucked up shit to get alcohol, dunno.
>>72549Based, you've got good taste anona.
>>72550Thank you. I'll try.
Anonymous 72561
>>72560They don't really double text. Sometimes I wish they would just to ask if I'm ok or need to talk about anything. It might not be a fair wish, but it would make it is easier on me and feel that they care. I feel really pathetic.
Anonymous 72584
>>72242I'm sorry to hear that, nona. I'm friendless too. Remember you have CC and endless shitposting awaits you.
Anonymous 72586
I could eat 3kg of blueberries right now. I allowed myself to buy blueberries (soooo expensive) if I didn't buy chocolate. Now I think I'm going to eat all of them tonight. I want to eat sweet so bad but I also want to lose weight.
Anonymous 72590
d2abb2ad883680281f…
cried in front of co-workers i'm so embarrased i want to die
Anonymous 72609
Not trying to sound edgy but my misanthropy and dislike/mistrust of other humans keeps getting worse. It's made me extremely cynical and has gotten to the point where I assume every dude I talk to is a perverted psychopath and every woman I talk to a manipulative snakey bitch because that's what I expect them to be. I have no friends anymore because I cut them all off after they annoyed me in some way and almost every interaction I have with other humans is cold or hostile. Feels bad knowing I will never trust anyone enough to get close.
Anonymous 72611
1a3ac1e0f1a2317511…
when i turned 11 i decided my only aspiration in life was to become physically identical to hatsune miku. it's been 10 years since then but i'm still trying. i don't think being a normal fan is enough for me at this point. i admit it's retarded of me and i get ridiculed when people find out
Anonymous 72612
>>72611what do you do to become physically identical to her?
Anonymous 72615
>>72612not much atm, but the things i do to feel more "complete" are dyeing my hair/eyebrows, nail polish, makeup, diet and dressing in her normal outfit's shape. it's not perfect but helps with my self esteem and endure social life
Anonymous 72625
Seeing women make POV tiktoks where their husbands are smiling at them makes me want to kill myself.
Anonymous 72630
67E1EBF5-92CA-42DC…
>>72611I get that. Ever since I was in 9th grade (start of my fakeboi phase) I wanted to look like Twilight Princess Link. Bleached my hair dirty blonde, cut it in a short mop and would wear tacky olive green Zelda merch everywhere I went. I even planned to get elf ear surgery at some point (thank God I didn't). I kept this larp up until I was about 24 (29 now) when I decided I didn't want to be an uwu fairy boy anymore. I also never made the "historically accurate) cosplay of him I wanted to
but still lowkey want to Anonymous 72636
i am so fucking triggered right now it's not even funny. I started talking to this guy on instagram and it was going so good for a week, i was going to meet him on saturday and maybe finally experience the touch of a man after four years. so i asked some of our mutuals what he's like in circles… and holy fucking shit i'm so fucking done
1. shared his nudes in a gc
2. is a vocal misogynist
3. bro… HE SHARED CP????I DIDNT EVEN BOTHER ASKING ABOUT THE FIRST TWO I LITERALLY WENT STRAIGHT TO ASKING HIM IF HE SHARED CP AND HE ADMITTED TO IT? HE WAS EVEN PROUD OF IT sorry for caps he said he fucking did that and then i removed him from my account. he was quick to catch on who told me about this and ended up fighting with that person and blocking them. the fucking audacity. i'm so sad and angry right now what the fuck. i tipped the police about this asshole i'm so shocked that my mutuals didnt do that already what the fuck i hate men so fucking much
Anonymous 72640
I dont want to do this anymore. I'm not happy with how I look at all and I dont know what to fix so surgery won't help. I have nobody to talk to or relate to on a regular basis, I feel so ostracized and im so anxious and the friends I do make dont care about me or it feels like I have to mother them or some shit and nobody gives a fuck about how I feel. I just want to stay home, eat some food, and croak. And be alone.
Anonymous 72648
1641516512573.jpg
I can't fucking stand my coworkers. I overheard some mocking me over a note I left asking things neatly be put down instead of haphazardly on my desk, which I have to constantly reorganize every morning. I'm so done with their shit.
Anonymous 72649
>>72648Sorry to hear that anon. People prefer to mock someone than admit they could be at fault.
Anonymous 72650
>>72640Would you like to talk more about it? This has obviously been eating at you for a while, and this is a vent thread after all. We’re here to listen.
Anonymous 72654
I made a point of acting flirty with every man I meet, just as an experiment to see if I can land a bf. Turns out even 60+ boomers and obese dudes curve me. I must be so fugly.
Anonymous 72655
>>72654iktf. most men, even hideous and old ones, ignore me completely. there was only one time a guy was kind and acted somewhat flirty and interested towards me, and im not even sure he was straight, so he might have just been one of those gays who flirts with everyone to be nice, or maybe he just felt sorry for me. i still think about him every day though, even though im gross a tiny part of me thinks and hopes he was being sincere.
Anonymous 72660
annaprimak2.jpg
Recently, I feel constant discontent that I can't yet afford the life I want. I want to go out in the working world just to be able to finally travel, live in my own small cute apartment (with no roommates anymore), be able to afford these expensive treatments for my face to fix one of the biggest insecurities about my appearance that have been plaguing me, afford healthier and a greater amount of food, etc. etc. I feel bad when I realize how many of these are materialistically-oriented, but most things are money one way or another, after all, so I do believe not being able to get these is what is keeping me from feeling and looking better.
Also, regarding appearance, I recently discovered Russian Instagram (Well some of them former-Instagram who have now deleted.) models who wear Ulzzang-style makeup like Anna Primak - pic rel. They are so beautiful that they don't look real, but I can't help but think "God, I want to look like that. I NEED to look like that".
Anonymous 72670
Bros, I'm so tired of being my parent's personal tech support. It's a petty grievance and I really do love them but sometimes it makes me so tired.
Anonymous 72672
>>72670Lmao yesterday I changed a password in less than a minute while my mom had been struggling to do it for literal hours. Like over 4 hours.
Anonymous 72673
>>72428Pretty bad, what if it becomes involuntary? Don't fuck around with your brain, it's a extremely powerful tool.
Anonymous 72674
>>72673How would it just “become involuntary”? Anon will be fine.
Anonymous 72676
>>72674If you can't see why making replacing reality with fantasy as a occurring thing is bad I don't know what to tell you.
Anonymous 72677
Am I in the wrong?
My bf gets upset because I don't want to go hang out with him and hus friends. It's annoying for me because:
I have to waste a lot of time showering/getting ready.
I barely talk to any of his friends because I am shy. So most of my time there is spent in silence.
The trip takes like 2 hours to and from.
It pretty much brings me 0 enjoyment. The best part of the night would be getting to eat some fast food. Am I really in the wrong for not wanting to socialize with him and them? I just wanna stay home and rest after working for 9 hours.
Idk I feel kinda bad because my mom has always told me I need to socialize and that men will eventually leave you if you never share time with him and his friends.
Anonymous 72678
>>72677I don't think you're in the wrong at all, it's very reasonable to not want to engage with his friends given the circumstance.
But if he insists on this so much then it means he cares about your presence (which depending on why, it's way better than him not wanting you there), and compromising in relationships is a necessity to keep them. In your situation I'd agree to come with my boyfriend, but VERY sporadically.
Anonymous 72679
>>72678Welp I ended up agreeing since he made me feel bad. After wasting an hour crying while showering and getting ready, it turns out we're not even going out anymore because the thing his friends had planned was not what he was expecting.
I'm angry at the waste of time but at least I don't have to go out now.
Anonymous 72680
>>72679Why don't you just communicate to your bf like an adult and tell him you're not going?
Anonymous 72682
>>72680I did but he kept insisting with shit about how he loves me and wants to spend time together outside of the house so I felt bad.
Anonymous 72700
sigh, it's absolutely in my head, but I had one day in my entire life I didn't feel like a dying zombie and it made me think there must be something wrong with me.
everyone I knew a split second after seeing my face flipped out and claimed I looked amazing and glowing…and no, I didn't say anything. one person's jaw dropped.
I had one very cool night I spent happily talking and laughing with a friend.
I'm extremely reserved and have trouble talking (I have a jaw deformity that hurts) so…this even happening was ridiculous.
I ended up staying up till 7AM and sleeping and…I woke up at 4PM feeling like I had just woken up from a very, very long nightmare that had been my entire life. Everything felt different and I had the energy to fly out of bed. I could actually think. For once I was able to talk very well too and actually makes jokes.
As the day went on, unlike 99.9% of days where I feel like living hell by 7PM and barely functional, I was productive. I remember going out in the sunshine and it feeling amazing.
I got pics of my face and it turned out I even looked much better than usual (usually I look very rough and tired)…like I said, people noticed it too and I got compliments. But then when I went to sleep and woke up, I went back to feeling like how I always have and barely capable of thinking of anything to say or…thinking.
Look. I get 8 hours of sleep at night…every night…rather robotically.
I don't know if I just told myself one day that I'm a tired person and that's why I just can't help but be tired. I don't know why things have to be like this.
Anonymous 72705
>>72700Sounds like you're depressed but something snapped you out of it for a day. Hsve you tried seeing a psychiatrist?
Anonymous 72752
This vent is about animal abuse, just a warning
I really don't know how to deal with the knowledge that there's an entire community of fetishists who get off on abusing/crushing small animals. I don't even want to explain the shit I've learned, I don't think everyone else deserves to suffer and typing it out just makes me sick. I feel like I've seen too much, and my brain will never heal from this knowledge. I can't help doxx these people because I can't even bear to see their actions. My heart will die. I get bizarre memories, almost like intrusive thoughts, that fill me with anxiety, revulsion and fear. I wish all the people who "enjoy" that would actually, fully get fucking crushed to death instead of using everything and everyone else as stand-ins. They all try to justify it by saying "Oh, I imagine myself as the thing being crushed". They fucking should be. I mean it, they should fulfill their disgusting kink and commit suicide. If any person has those thoughts and it ever seems like a good idea to make a living being suffer for it, that person should be run over by a massive fucking truck. Same goes for all the pieces of shit that would ever pander to such a fetish, whether for money or otherwise. I don't give a fuck how poor you are. It's fucking evil, that's why all the groups doing it are literally linked to CP production. There's always a better way to make money, there's no excuse. I know it's selfish to say, but I honestly wish I never found out about this shit. It's been years, and it still comes back to my mind and disturbs me. I literally feel anxious sometimes when I see pictures of kittens or other baby animals, I keep hoping that they're okay and nothing bad happened to them. I don't even know if I'd ever be able to give away puppies or kittens, knowing that people are sick fucks. Nothing can "solve" this but a bullet in the heads of all the perpetrators and their "audience", but I know that won't happen in my lifetime and it makes me both livid and miserable
Anonymous 72753
>>72752hug I'm sorry this is on your mind. If it's any consolation, the people who participate in such a thing are probably extremely rare. Normal people do not enjoy this. Memories that are like intrusive thoughts are no fun, and I'm sorry your mind is doing that to you. I know how awful that is.
Anonymous 72754
I feel like I'm grieving a lost love that never really was. At the most, it was a forbidden mutual crush. It's possible that I read too much into it in the first place, but the way he looked at me made me think there really was something. It's been over several years, and it would never happen now. We both have moved on with our lives. Still, I'll hear a song lyric that reminds me of him due to the relationship I played out in my head and feel so sad. I'm afraid I'll never have a crush that brings me giggly joy again. I'm no longer college aged so I don't even know where I'd meet someone who I see 2-3 times a week and feel giddiness and anticipation for the next time I see him. I should never think of him again because I doubt he ever thinks of me.
I feel like the onset of the Covid era really solidified the separation between my early-to-mid 20s (and the freedom of that time) and the monotony that comes with being a real adult. I'm sure I'll feel joy again, but right now, it all feels like a bunch of different endings rather than ongoing life.
Anonymous 72755
>>72753Thank you anon. I almost feel like crying. I wish I could just wipe it from my mind, but I guess if I can't stop what's happening, the absolute least I or anyone else can do is recognize their pain. And yeah, I guess you're right that it must be rare, I don't think most people even know this sort of thing exists and I'm glad for that. The world is evil enough without it
Anonymous 72769
>>72763
Go see her again and explain but also see another doctor and get their opinion too.
Anonymous 72771
>>72763
All surgeries have a botch rate far higher than most physicians would like to admit.
Anonymous 72774
My art style is a combination of animu and western comic book style (think dylan dog) and I fucking hate it. I wish I never liked that shit when I was younger so I could have a more unique and less embarassing style today. I'm trying to change it (make it more expressive and add abstract elements) but all I can draw are headshots of pretty girls. Fuck me.
Anonymous 72776
>>72763
>doctor explains there’s a risk the surgery will make it worse
>shrug it off because her demeanor is calm
Anon… I understand you’re upset, but trying to sue her isn’t going to get you anywhere. Go see another doctor and find out if anything can be done to fix it.
Anonymous 72777
Why are some people so fucking mean
Anonymous 72785
>>72777because it's the only thing that makes some people feel better about themselves. that, and today's
society encourages people to behave sociopathically in order to protect themselves and improve job prospects, creating a culture of obnoxious, rude people. i'm sorry if someone was mean to you. ignore them because they don't know shit.
Anonymous 72787
i know i shouldn't rely on this, but i really want a male to lvoe me back for once so badly. i keep thinking i'm getting somewhere when they show signs of sexual attraction like flirting even when they shouldn't or trying sexual things, but they never develop a pair bond for me and i am just stuck with feelings. males are generally not capable of pair bonding like us
Anonymous 72811
I'm ashamed to say that the only things that really bring me any joy is watching kids cartoons from my childhood and collecting expensive vintage toys because it makes me sound so shallow, immature and consoomerist, but I can't help it. Literally nothing else is exciting to me anymore.
Anonymous 72817
I think I'm about done with my marriage. Sex is never going to be be what either of us want despite years of trying, and we should probably get out while we're young. Shame since he's great otherwise, and we really like each other and our life together.
Anonymous 72818
9C522BB3-87A1-42D1…
>buy anything nonessential for myself>instantly feel extreme regret and compulsion to return everythingI have this intense buy-return OCD. I know the employees who see me think I’m weird.
>>72811>consoomeristI feel this, ugh. I’ve been buying a ton of stuff from Bath and Body works because things that smell nice bring me temporary happiness. But then i feel so guilty about buying so much shit i dont need with my hard-earned money.
Anonymous 72819
I am so fucking stupid. Please, someone take me out of my misery.
Anonymous 72823
>72175
Yeah that's why you see their own inferiority for what it is, and break all the rules they want to keep you imprisoned in. Being hated is better than "maybe being loved" or negatively moved by anything men OR misogynist women say at all. Being hated is being free. Do things that fuck with them, just to fuck with them and laugh at their reaction. They'll only single you out if they know they can get a persecuted reaction from you, if they know you fear being put down by them. The 'im feeling persecuted-reaction' they expect you to respond with is what they LIVE for.
How the everliving fuck women still pretend like this isn't the case blows my mind. How the fuck am I the only one that sees that ?? Why in the hell would you give them reactions they clearly milk??
You never give them that. You only laugh at them. Watch how the tables turn when they know you truly do your own thing and their raving means nothing to you. You start getting different reactions and a lot of them are actually very positive from the kinda men who aren't filth.
Actually that is the only scary part. The fact that men like that exist. I'm still figuring out how to respond to having my mind blown that way.
Anonymous 72827
>>72826
What are you implying that it's better to give those kinds of men and sadists the reactions they want because it makes you more generically attractive to shills?
Anonymous 72830
>>72828
Well obviously you can't respond or hold any conversation about it, so I'm guessing you're one of said overbearing moids.
Anonymous 72833
>>72832
Then uhhh please explain your own brilliant method for dealing with this when you run into it?
>>Society hates women for existing. If one woman does something wrong, they will take this as proof that all women are corrupted. You don't need to be in the wrong to be targeted. You are guilty by association. They will latch onto some minor idiosyncrasy and shit themselves over how this makes you inferior. A woman can go about her day completely normally, not realizing anything out of the ordinary, and a man observing her will rage about what she is wearing, where she is going, who she is with, her emotional state, her manner of speech, his perception of her thoughts, and the mere fact of her womanhood, none of these things having the slightest impact on him at all except in his own mind.
Your reactive pickme ass didn't even read the whole conversation. Thin skin much huh
Anonymous 72836
>>72834
Cry harder miss pickme lol.
Anonymous 72838
>>72832
Anon, you are very rarted. Meds now.
Anonymous 72839
>>72837
It's okay hun you still have your whole life ahead of you, you can stop being a pickme any day you want :) might take a thousand years of reprogramming but heyyyy what the hell just do it rofl
Anonymous 72841
>>72840
Hangry horny moid mad the ladies aren't his easy punching bags anymore
Keep it up though. Seriously if you were a female why would you spend so much time responding and getting mad anyway?
Anonymous 72843
>>72842
"Reeeeeee save our scrotes reeeeeeee
Anonymous 72845
>>72828But what are you implying we should remain passive and easily take on victim identity so we're easy to break down and manipulate? Calling her a Mong doesn't really explain yourself, and why you prefer passivity in the face of the behavior mentioned here
>>72175 Anonymous 72846
>>72845That we should be walking talking domesticated holes for pornsick impossible to pease men
Anonymous 72848
>>72839>>72836>>72833That anon is a salty raiding moid. Ignore it and report his posts.
Anonymous 72850
>>72847
You will never be a man.
Anonymous 72852
>>72851
Low value omega moid on his manperiod seeks attention on a women's imageboard
Anonymous 72855
>>72854
All women have inherent value lolol even incels like you acknowledge this, cope harder miserable faggot
Anonymous 72857
Going back to my hometown for a few days, I'm very happy to do this but I've been staying up late and I'm worried about getting enough sleep, otherwise I know I'll be too sleepy and engage in a bad sleeping cycle during the trip.
Anonymous 72858
>>72817What is happening in bed that cannot be fixed and makes you two want to no longer be together?
Anonymous 72859
i cant shake off the feeling of not belonging anywhere, i feel like im not supposed to be here, like ive been alive for longer than i should. is this the side effect of near death experiences? everything in my life feels useless, i live like a non sentient being, i embody almost all seven deadly sins at once, (im not christian btw, no better way to describe it), when i try to step outside my comfort zone and better myself, i am quickly hit with the reality of the uselessness of my attempts, i feel too nonfunctional and beyond redemption and it makes me disgusted with myself, i overconsume every form of escapism possible to get away from the guilt of existence itself and once the effect of it all wears off i am left with twice the doze off self hatred, i wish there was a way to step out of this humiliating cycle. i genuinely, really, have tried to break it by trying new stuff- how am i supposed to be a normal functioning adult when i hate everything about myself, my voice and my appearance disgust me too much i cant hold conversations with people, i don't have friends, my family doesn't even know how im like, i keep trying my best until i sober up and realize how pathetic it is, the amount of times i fail. everyday i go to bed with the mindset of "i can't wait till tomorrow for a reset, i will do better tomorrow" but then im eaten up with envy and hatred for myself and others, with cowardice and idk what to call it it's just so frustrating. i know probably most of you will look down on me and even have a few mean things to say here and there i think it's only fair, i don't visit this site often and the few times i have posted here i immediately get attacked and called names i think i simply don't have the general mindset to be here so that's fair
Anonymous 72861
>>72752I feel the same way about pedos. I'm not really religious but they're closest thing to demonic entities on earth. Animal abusers and pedos deserve the worst of the worst. I know a lot of vegans and animal rights activists who gave themselves PTSD by watching animal abuse videos so I would be careful not to consume that kind of material in future. We know evil is happening, we dont need to act as voyeurs to it, we just have to do what we can to stomp it out completely.
Anonymous 72864
>>72859Sometimes I wonder why I'm here. Most humans purpose is to toil, have sex, get married, start a family. I'm not interested in any of that. The only thing I really have an interest in is spirituality so I might consider joining a cult or some shit one day if I feel like it and have nothing else to do.
Anonymous 72865
>>72864same. i wouldn't say i'm asexual but i'm definitely less interested in sex than other people seem to be.
i'm also put off by the idea of having a family and even a boyfriend/girlfriend. when i mentioned this in the past, i got very attacked even on places like more lowkey imageboards such as cc, so i keep it to myself as i dont want unnecessary drama.
but i feel like this is an important part of the kind of person i am and i'd like to interact with other girls that feel in a similar way, because even if it doesn't make me completely relate, i still find a stronger sense of belonging when we share this mindset, that i feel like is pretty rare
Anonymous 72867
>>72865I wouldn't say I'm asexual either but sex is definitely low on my list of wants/needs. I know what you mean, people can definitely be very passive aggressive and try to make you feel lik you're broken or abnormal if you mention being ace, aromantic or just low sex drive, even on female boards or subreddits which sucks. Too many people make sex and relationships into their entire personality or its pretty much all they ever talk about, it just doesn't interest me much. It's cool to know there are other women with a similar mindset out there, helps me feel less alienated, people should just live however they want if they're not hurting others.
Anonymous 72869
>>72858Honestly, I'm a bit of a masochist and he absolutely refuses to do anything to hurt me. No matter how much I explain that it's what I want and need, he says that it's just not in him.
Anonymous 72873
I feel sad because I know this online friend, prefers talking to someone else. He has mentioned them a couple times, and said he has romantic feelings for them. Which shouldn't bother me, because he and I are just platonic friends. But knowing that he'd much rather talk to this other person than me, hurts me. I know I'll never be someone's favourite person to talk to.
He takes his time responding, and I know it's because he's t alking to this other person. It just makes me sad. I know she's so much smarter and funnier (probably prettier) than me, I don't even know her, but I just know.
I know I will never be enough for anyone, he says he enjoys my company, but I know he enjoys her company much better. And it makes me feel so much lesser. And I ruin it further, because I'm open bout my mental health issues, and I shouldn't because I know it just going to drive him further away from me. But at the same time, he's the only person I trust enough to talk about my issues.
He says he doesn't want to stop talking to me (after I vented to him about a recent hospital stay) but I think he's just kind. Maybe I should cut him out, he has this other person he'd rather talk to.
What should I do /feels/? Should I stop talking to him? Please, I need some advice.
Anonymous 72875
>>72873Posts like this make me glad I went volcel. The drama involved in dealing with moids is absolutely not worth it.
Anonymous 72877
>>72875I'm glad anon, I'm glad you don't have to deal with men anymore. But I' m not at that point quite just yet.
Anonymous 72881
>>72875Take mine (>>72817) he's a really good guy but sex is boring AF
Anonymous 72886
I'm so tired of learning german, this is my last semester but it is so hard since I don't even like it
Anonymous 72887
b9850cd7fd86197a92…
Today I received the news that an old friend of mine died. We talked to each five days ago, one day before he died, he dm'd me randomly and we were mostly talking about random things, but I said a few times that I was a failure of a person and now I just feel bad. He had a heart disease and knew he wouldn't live for long, so I'm sure he knew he was going to die after we talked. His girlfriend was the one who broke the news and she said he was suffering a lot, feels bad.
I can't stop thinking about the things I said, he was probably suffering when we were chatting, he didn't have much time to live and I was talking about how I'm a shit person because I'm throwing my life away. I also left him alone to play games and he said he was going to stare at the ceiling, I just told him to have fun doing it because I didn't think much about it, feels bad. This is the first time someone I really knew died, and it just feels weird, reality didn't hit me yet. I think it's about time I make some changes in my life, but I don't have any motivation. I need to think over my entire life.
Anonymous 72900
Posting this feels in poor taste especially after the last post (RIP anon's friend) but I got drunk, we called, I admitted my feelings to him, said he likes someone else but we can still be friends. Great.
Anonymous 72916
download.jpeg
Everytime her tiktoks come my way i end up crying for an hour or so
Anonymous 72918
I never had an teen/high school love, but honestly I don't regret it. My biggest regret is that I was the weird one that never fitted in and that I had unhealthy shut in habits.
Anonymous 72925
>>72921 because she's just so insanely pretty and e famous and ill never in my life reach that level of perfection, not with self care, not with plastic surgery. And she knows it, she's not funny or talented at all, she's just famous because she's so damn perfect looking, and she centers 90% of her videos around this fact, and the fact that she so quirky for being single and hanging out with dem Bois™ and how her quirky cool features are natural even tho she's lying about it and she knows it (like the blue eyes or the freckles and "vampire teeth" which she didn't have when she shared pictures of herself when she was in highschool or something. Obviously that done in the context of more ego inflation, "lOok At mE iM SsOo PpReTtY") so yeah, Every time they recommend her videos i binge watch them all then cry for a good hour or so, stare at myself in the mirror in disgust, or even take pictures of my face and her face and do a side by side comparison, or edit my jaw, nose and skin flaws onto a picture of her and watch her radiant beauty fade like that, i don't really wish anything ill upon her, god im so pathetic, no- i just don't ever want to see her videos again. i wish YouTube had a feature to block channels from being recommended to you, i have every single one of her videos disliked. This algorithm isn't on my side. Sometimes it gets do bad it makes me go back to self harming for a while. Her videos aren't the reason at all, just a catalyst, they're triggering. ive been cutting since i was 13 or 14, and it's not a new issue. It just hurts more because i've been trying to quit it now for months. i work in the medical field now, more like a student and intern at the same time, and the amount of needles we have to inject and tensiometers we have to use and especially all the ortho and arthrology tests we have to carry out made me aware of how exposed our bodies are to doctors, they will eventually see my arms all scarry and think im a creep, i moved on to my thighs tho and as long as i don't fracture my hips they should be fine i can work around everything else. im Oversharing again holy fuck
Anonymous 72927
>>72925Don’t apologize for oversharing anon, I’m just as fucked up lol. I get the same feeling of despair when I see female celebrities around my age. For example, Zendaya (though I don’t even think she’s pretty), I know she’s making millions of dollars, adored by millions, while I am stuck at an office job every single day and majoring in something I don’t care about just to survive. Fuck grossly overpaid celebrities.
>I work in the medical field nowThink of it this way. This girl is a talentless TikToker whose whole “career” is being quirky on the internet. You have valuable knowledge. You’re a productive member of society. Idc if this is a “cope” lol.
Anonymous 72933
>>72916don't know who this is but she looks annoying and nothing like belle
Anonymous 72939
>>72916That grey streak in her hair is stupid and makes her look like some 50 year old Carole Baskin hippie lady
Anonymous 72940
A couple years ago I got really obsessed with this guy at my college and ended up orbiting them then asking him out at the end of the semester. Thinking back he was way out of my league and I did all kinds of pathetic simp shit for him. I cringe so hard thinking about it and what's worse is I looked a mess at that time too. I'm so embarrassed how do I forget this sisters…
Anonymous 72950
>>72859I go here alot because it's the only female and gender critical place where I dont feel forced to accommodate other people's stupid DNI caards and gender dillusion. But I cant really get with board culture, nor think I can really belong here, I dont want to deal with fitting in again. Kinda sad since I haven't found a middle ground for this type of stuff.But I enjoy it sometimes.
Anonymous 72954
>>72927Thank you anon, i genuinely appreciate it, you're logically right in a sense, your words brought me comfort anyway
Anonymous 72955
>>72925Tiktokers use filters that change the shape of their face so they're as attractive as possible, I'm sure shes pretty but the reason shes so perfect and radiant is because of the filter and lighting so don't beat yourself up too much and compare yourself to her
Anonymous 72961
>>72940I did something similar and wish I could say dating an even hotter and nicer dude has helped, but it just makes me feel more embarrassed. I stooped that low and for what?
Time makes it less, as well as learning to laugh at yourself. It's comical to think back on.
Anonymous 72962
>>72961by accepting that it was a crush and perfectly normal. i doubt you were the only one doing that
Anonymous 72964
>>72939Rude. She was born with the grey streak.
Anonymous 72966
I hate when the word pussy is used to refer to a female, as well as roastie, I hate both words in genral and it's weird gow they are used so casually by some teenagers
Anonymous 72969
^
if anyone uses tiktok they already lost.
Anonymous 72972
>>72964Op (behind the Nadine Breaty post) here, that's true, those aren't fake, plus she did get bullied for it irl and stuff, let's not make fun of her in any way please, i didnt mean to direct hate towards her
Anonymous 72974
>>72962I acted like an absolutely pathetic pickme though. He probably still laughs at me. I wish I could erase my image from his brain.
Anonymous 72977
>be me
>19 years old
>brother is 12
>literal constant bullying from him and his friends that my parents will do nothing about
>any time i talk to him or walk past him i get name called or get a snarky remark
>"retard" "get the fuck out of the house, aren't you an adult?" "why are you so fucking ugly?" "no one likes you and you'll never get a boyfriend" "help me with my homework stupid bitch"
>parents hear it and do nothing for 2 years
>snap
>hit my brother every time he does this until he stops
>hit him again every time he tries to hit me back
>be 100% transparent and honest with my parents about what i'm doing, and let them know i will be doing it again
>situation improves
>i hear nothing from my brother anymore
am i some kind of freak? what the fuck else was i supposed to do?
Anonymous 72978
>>72974This might sound awful but maybe help? But he might not think about you ever.
Years ago my boyfriend was working a summer job at a retail store and made friends with some chick who had a ton of men just orbiting her constantly and trying to win her attention and she just… didn't think of them. At all. She never went out of her way to contact them or hang or talk to them, she just let them do it all until she needed something. She would use them as needed (like when she needed help moving heavy furniture–she had like 5 of her orbiters lined up and ready to help her). Some of them were exes who were still in love with her so she had to know what was up.
Anyway, out of sight, out of mind.
Anonymous 72981
>>72977I just hope the little shit doesn't start getting violent with you once he gets bigger.
Anonymous 72984
>>72977You're not a freak. I'd do the same, but I second this anon
>>72981 be careful. Teen moids are psychos
Anonymous 72993
>live with parents
>mom insists I can talk to her as an adult friend (bullshit)
>10 hours later bitches to me about my room not being in perfect order
>haven't slept, can't handle the nagging
>tell her to shut up
>she gets offended and insists on a forced apology
>begrudgingly give it.
Yeah no, we will never be friends like that, mom. You love being in power over another human. You can't let go of being a mom for us to be adult friends. I love you, but no.
I can tell my friends to shut up and they listen to me. They don't take it personally. I rarely ask people to be quiet unless they really are being a bother, or say STFU jokingly.
Anonymous 73009
>>72993My dad is the exact same way. He says to think of us as friends but then yells at me for missing a single fork when cleaning the dishes. It’s tiring but what makes it worse is when you have to act like they are your friend so they don’t get pissy.
Anonymous 73021
>>72993Wtf who tells their parents to shut up as a grown adult? It sounds like you're still living in your mom's house too, you should learn respect. Occidentalism radiates from your post
Anonymous 73029
>>73021Her mom to her to talk to her like they're friends lol
Anonymous 73030
>>73029Told her*
Ngl that was kinda funny tho.
Anonymous 73031
>>73021>you need to treat your parents like gods because my 3rd world culture says so Anonymous 73033
>>73031>my parents are narcissists and I'll be shoving them in the old folks home as soon as I can because my first world culture said so Anonymous 73035
Why do so many miners end up revealing themselves as lowkey racist and xenophobic anytime there's a debate about anything…
Sigh.
Anonymous 73036
>>73021Mostly people who are overgrown infants and resentful of that fact. My relationship with my parents improved immensely when I was fighting the world on my own as opposed to under her roof.
On the otherhand totally her mother's fault for informalizing the relationship.
>>73034Because minors are so racist there had to be a rule made about it. Put two and two together.
Anonymous 73037
>>73036My guess is there's a big overlap with this board and the 4chan userbase. Half of miners seem to be dating men from 4chan and orbiting racist dudes on discord or act like pickmes for them so this place is turning into r9k or /pol/ with a vagina. How disappointing.
Anonymous 73038
someone who was once close to me then became extremely rude and hostile, accused me of something serious and tried to turn my other friends against me, then ghosted me for 18 months just texted me out of the blue this week, asking how i was, and saying sorry for falsely accusing me and that they want to start speaking again. needless to say i deleted the text and will literally never reply (petty i know) but it makes me fucking angry how people can go through life treating others this way and thinking people will just roll over and accept it. does nobody instill basic values in how to treat others decently in these idiots? ugh. hearing from this person again has put me in a bad mood.
Anonymous 73039
>>73033I think I’ll trust the consensus of habitable countries over yours
>>73035>>73037You realize anonymous image boards are some of the only places left on the internet where people can express their actual thoughts, right?
Anonymous 73041
>>73039I didnt know East Asia is uninhabitable but you learn something new every day.
Sorry your mom's a bitch, looks like the apple doesn't fall far from the tree kek.
Anonymous 73043
those third world asian savages, with their values like respecting elders and filial piety. yuck. don't you know the superior parent-child dynamic is constantly being at each others throats and hundreds of hours of costly family therapy sessions that don't change anything. you dirty thirdies need to learn from these superior westerner's example.
Anonymous 73044
>>73041>>73043Nice samefagging. Imagine feeling like you owe your life to someone just because you came from her vagina.
Anonymous 73046
>>73044>Imagine feeling like you owe your life to someone just because you came from her vagina.NTA, I know you're trying to make a point here but the fact you do literally owe the fact you are alive to your mother (whether tgat is a good or bad thing) makes me laugh profusely.
Anonymous 73047
>>73021I call my mom a hoe as a joke and she does too, also tell her to kill herself when she does something retarded and we laugh about it. Anon's mom is just overly sensitive and clearly controlling if she demands for apologies lol.
Anonymous 73050
>>73047Well just so you know, this isn't the norm wtf, anon in the op is more reasonable than you imo…
Anonymous 73051
>>73036Yeah, it's generally not a good call to be "friends" with your kid, messes up the relationship. Still though, I imagine the mom's fed up with anon's bullshit and just trying to understand her daughter.
And I'm pissing myself over the pol tier fight over my post I'm literally a burger I was just being mean. It just grinds my gears how many supposedly 18+ anons on here act like children going through some kind of "i hate u mom!!" phase
>>73044Yeah true bestie you totally don't owe your life to being gestated and nurtured by your mother. Retard
Anonymous 73052
>>73051>gestated and nurturedBy “owe your life” I obviously didn’t mean it literally, you autistic fucking retard. I can dumb it down for you.
>imagine worshipping someone just because you came out of her vaginaHope that helps xx
Anonymous 73053
Every single day is me convincing myself not to drop out of college. I am so void of any motivation or enjoyment. I wasn’t meant for this system. Not like I’m special. I’m just incapable.
Anonymous 73055
>>73050I know it isn't the norm, but the point is there's no such thing as objective respect standards that everybody needs to follow with their families. Everyone has different boundaries. So if your mom tells you to talk to her as a friend and then gets upset when you do, she is clearly at fault.
>>73051Lol anon I'm sorry, you probably just have a good mom and don't understand how cruel and heartless some parents can be. Or are just brainwashed by a mean mom idk. You should never put up with anybody's abuse just because they raised you. That is the bare minimum they signed up for.
And if they raised you and you hate them, guess whose fault it is.
Anonymous 73065
A decent looking moid was very nice to me about 3 months ago, and I've thought of him literally every day since. I'll probably never see him again but I'm obsessed.
Anonymous 73067
Today I have my first date with a girl and my anxiety is through the roof. I have to go out in about 4 hours and every minute that passes I just feel like texting her that I can't go because I got sick or something
Anonymous 73068
I'm going to spit in my mom's fucking rice she beat me up because I burnt the rice that I didn't even know I was making fucking bitch I hope she dies
Anonymous 73074
I got a new job recently. I needed to move out of my home city for this job. During my recruitment they opened an office in my home city which led to the awkward situation of me having to move despite this.
Well, I've been working for a month and I have absolutely no idea why the fuck I did move. The new city is horribly dirty and polluted, it's hell to find a decent apartment, and of course I know nobody there. I've had an absolutely exhausting and terrible first month. The only apartment I managed to land was a noisy hellhole in which I didn't manage to sleep a wink which apparently won't get internet for another few months because the whole building's wiring is messed up.
To add fuel to the fire, I am officially supposed to be working from home 4 days a week due to Covid, as are all my coworkers. This means the office is perpetually empty. I don't work closely with anyone in my office, the people I work with closely are scattered all over the country.
They made me move so I could go work for 1 day a week in an empty office. What the hell.
So, I've decided to move back to my home city (still have my old foothold there) where my friends and family are. The job can either let me work from there (I asked my manager, there's literally no other reason against it than "it might make you/us look unstable to HR !"), or fire me.
It's a shame since otherwise the job is pretty cosy with good pay, but I am tired of submitting to idiotic HR conceptions of employee management. I will work better from my hometown and there is no reason for me to be anywhere else.
Anonymous 73077
dear k,
despite me being paranoid, avoidant and distrustful of people, I miss our friendship, but you were younger then me. I've never had a female my own age, I never will. I'm sorry for my lack of trust. that you have found a better friend(s) and that your relationship is thriving with whoever it is and you are not a online hoe
Anonymous 73081
>>73068What age are you that you can't take your Mom on in a fight? She keep you locked in a cage or something?
Anonymous 73087
>>73081Im 20 but I also can't fight her back except verbally here and there because otherwise I'll be kicked out with no resources and I need her to keep paying till i finish college and fuck off to somewhere far away, honestly it's so tiring she blows up at the littlest of things like I don't even do anything conventionally bad and I have to deal with her explosive anger on shit as petty and small as housework perfectionism or muhh respect your elders I will fucking kill her one day if she keeps hitting me I'm in my rage era
Anonymous 73092
I don't care about you anymore.
I don't care about roleplaying anymore.
I don't care about sex anymore.
You were never going to be my boyfriend to begin with.
You especially were never going to marry me.
I'm not what you want.
I don't think what you want exists.
If what you want exists, you don't really deserve it.
I tried so hard to be what you wanted but it wasn't enough.
I don't love you anymore.
It was never love, it was obsession.
You never loved me.
I hurt myself over and over again because of you.
I don't want to hurt because of you again.
Anonymous 73093
>>73092Welcome to the blackpill, sister.
Anonymous 73095
>I’ve been violently sick all day.
>Chad hits me up asking how far I live and if I’ll drive 4 hours “ to hangout”
>really not in the mood
>find creative ways to call him a minute man
Anonymous 73096
I have to study for college entrance exam that I failed in the past if I want another career and I'm crumbling because we can't a fford to pay for private college (I'm from latam) and I may not be able to study what I want andy heart breaks, I wish I were smarter and I cry about it all the time, why is the educarion system so saturated, rixh kids who can actually afford private education going to public school feels unfair, there's people who only have that option and nothing else, I'm so sad nonas I didn't ask to be poor, not smart, +awful at math, I need advice
Anonymous 73098
Cried because a favorite character from a tv show died. ha
Anonymous 73113
>I didn't ask to be poor, not smart, +awful at math
I would have never dreamed I would make it through some of the most notoriously difficult math classes in college for non-math savvy people - Calculus I and II - but here I am, now in my third year of Computer Science and having passed both of them with As. Not to mention, Computer Science is notorious in the amount of math it makes you learn in general. If by any chance you're also in this major, believe me, you will be far from the only person bad at math in it. I met a girl that somehow sucks ass at it and needs help in our math classes even more than I do. She's now passed those two classes as well. Most people in CS will probably be bad to subpar at math, at best actually. I even had a CS professor admit he's not good at math. This doesn't really affect their programming skills. (Although it could improve their logic skills, which can in turn be improved from better math skills. People good at the latter will almost always get stronger at the former as well.) It's difficult for people shittier at math, but with hard work and dedication it can be done. I just started watching Professor Leonard and going to tutors provided by my school more often, and being consistent about doing homework. Emphasis on homework, because the problems you get from it will almost always be similar to what you will see on tests. Unless your professor is a real asshole, you shouldn't get any surprises if you've practiced enough.
About being poor, my dad has cut me off completely for college for several years now. I rely entirely on government loans for school, which I wouldn't have to pay until at least 6 months after I graduate. Is there a way to apply for these kind of loans where you are?
Anonymous 73114
I hate that I was sexier dabbling with stims at 22 then I've been without them. It also sucks that I'm nearing my 30s ever so suddenly and that pinnacle part of being in your 20s is past me. I'm only as sad as I am because I wasted my energy on something I could never keep. I can get a good body in a healthy way, but it'll never be the same as that carelessness of it all being seemingly effortless. I guess it's that age old nostalgia for self-destruction and how it's all fun and games when you're practically still a kid, but it's not cute anymore. It's lost it's appeal. I did manage to be decent at art which is what I'm focusing on now, but not without probable brain damage. I wonder a lot about the guys I was partying with. Are they beginning to feel age creep up on them? Trying to change their life around before 40 hits and they have nothing to show for it? Or will they just be happy to keep playing younger and more vulnerable girls/women til their hairline recedes and their stuck working at some shitty fast food joint trying to publish their shitty novel in hopes it'll save them from self-induced poverty? I just know I can't waste anymore time being retarded.
Anonymous 73115
>be me
>browse craigslist
>see item I want
>contact seller
>set meeting time and place
>travel three hours to get there
>wait for an hour outside in the cold
>seller never shows
>ignores all subsequent contacts
>item is unlisted off craigslist
Anonymous 73119
>>73115I’m pissed for you. Wonder if you can report them to craigslist.
Anonymous 73124
>be me, 13 middle schooler, life sucks
>Parents fighting all the time but won't get a divorce
>Dad pissed off cuz mom won't spend her money on home necessities and leaves it all to him passive aggressively because they don't talk (have been giving each other the silent treatment for close to 6-7 months at the time)
>One time mom buys one of those blastic bucket things where you keep laundry
>We have small chat about it in the morning when dad was at work like "what color is that called, anon? Like- violet?" "I think that's crimson actually"
>Wow for once she's not crying to me and stuff isn't depressing
>Dad comes back home, gets furious, destroys the buckets with an axe in the backyard
>Fights with mom for the rest of the day
Whenever i remember this little story it makes me cry, i felt so bad for my mother back then, i just remembered it now out if the blue, 7 years later, and realized i was right to feel so sad over that, thought id get over it with time lol, ik it sounds stupid, they've done much worse stuff, even physical abuse at some points but that hasn't desensitized me
Anonymous 73125
>>73115I hate these sites.
>List a brand new game for free as I was moving away>Guy says he wanted it immediately>Arrange to meet him>Wait hours and he doesn't show>Email him and he claims I had the day wrong>Check and I didn't>Give him the benefit of the doubt and arrange to meet again>He does the same thing>Don't contact him and hear nothing>End up having to bin the game as no time leftI don't know if he somehow knew it was me and wanted to prank me? Or liked walking past me seeing me waiting? Or just got off on the thought of me waiting?
But why go to that much effort of emailing back and forth over something like this. Makes the time wasters who drop contact last minute look like saints in comparison. I should have known better than to give a moid the benefit of the doubt over anything.
Anonymous 73126
i know i sound like a special snowflake but i went out with a group of girls my age for the first time and my aunt forced me to take a picture of them and it made me feel fucking violated. there's such a stark comtrast between me and normal girls. it's like those pictures of trannies next to real women, except i'm a biological female i'm just autistic and ugly.
Anonymous 73127
>>73126*picture WITH them, not of them
Anonymous 73129
Jfc I hate depop so much. You're lucky if you get to keep even half your profits after all the hidden fees depop takes off. The company blatantly exploits young sellers.
Anonymous 73130
>>73114Meh, just take care of your skin, try to keep slim and lie about your age. I'm closer to 30 but always tell people I'm in my early twenties, at least nobody has ever questioned it so far lol.
Anonymous 73131
>>73128
i kind of want to but that seems disastrous. i'd be some moid's butterface porn for a few nights
Anonymous 73133
>>73131Don't post the pic anon. Anyone telling you to is a moid.
Anonymous 73135
Nothing special to vent about, I'm just so fucking lonely, broke and miserable.
Anonymous 73167
while I don't like trannies, the way my e-bf chimps out when we're playing a game together and he notices a player he thinks is one is so embarrassing. it's like he compulsively brings them up when people are around in game too.
I confronted him about it and he said it's just a joke (no jokes were made; one time he was typing one word obscenities in all caps??) and that he doesn't care about trannies that much.
he doesn't act anything like this 99.9% of the time but this makes me second-guess the whole relationship and the way he processes reality and thinks. sigh.
Anonymous 73168
I’ve been having dreams about a guy i dated 10 years ago. We dated for about 5 months until my friends bullied me into breaking up with him to date a girl who was in the friend group.
He was really sweet but we didnt talk heart to heart very much, unlike how i was open with the girl.
Anyways i keep having dreams about him over and over. They’re some of the best happiness i have in my days. Usually they take place at in my school days and im pining over him again.
I finally had enough and googled his name. Found some inactive social media and a portfolio website, and i sent an email.
Did i fuck up?
TLDR messaged a guy i dated 10 years ago because i kept dreaming about him. Did i fuck up
Anonymous 73169
>>73168Sounds fine as long as you didn't come over too strong. If you don't hear back or he's not interested then don't try to make it happen and accept it.
Anonymous 73172
Oh my god, why do loud people always end up gravitating around me no matter where I go? It's been like this since grade school. I'd be sitting quietly. minding my own business, and then a bunch of loud douchebags end up sitting down right in the area I'm in (Not..literally any other of the 500 open seats around. But my area. fml.) start talking obnoxiously loud, and doing shit that violates my personal space like waving their hands inches away from me (Like I'm not even there). People have always called me out and put me on the spot for how quiet I am, but how can't these people see themselves for how annoyingly loud they are? I'd rather continue being a mute than a person with no consideration of others like this.
Anonymous 73173
>>73172>People have always called me out and put me on the spot for how quiet I amI hate this. You're literally doing nothing, just quietly existing, but they seem to think you should entertain them to be permitted to be there.
Anonymous 73176
>73173
For real. Or they project their own insecurity about the fact that someone in the room is giving them and others less attention than they would like.
Where I live, quietness is seen as a pretty negative trait and it makes you stick out pretty badly. I'm basically a mute around anyone I am not friends with and that isn't my family, so this has caused me to get asked "Why are you so quiet?"s every single day back in middle school. Recently though, I've noticed people try to take a jab at my quietness much more slyly. They constantly bring up some person "XYZ" who "is quiet" in a conversation they're having with another person around me. It happens so often now, even when me and them are the only people around (And I'm clearly the only quiet person around) that there's no way I'm just being schizo about it. It drives me crazy. I wish I could say something in that kind of situation..if only I wouldn't end up sounding schizo if I did.
Anonymous 73177
>>72228just in case you haven't tried it, I take a double dose of ibuprofen BEFORE symptoms start. BEFORE.
Anonymous 73178
>>73177Double ibuprofen is probably not good for you anon. I take max dose paracetamol and max ibuprofen. Hot drink, hot water bottle, and
masturbate.
Anonymous 73179
>>72228ask your doc for tranexamic acid
Anonymous 73183
I hate blowing up over dumb reasons. None of my friends really like me or respect me, or they’re too socially retarded to know how to be decent. I just wanna have some fucking sense of agency where I can but people just trample on it again and again, treating me like a retard and an inferior because I have to fucking work while they jerk off as neets talking about how much they hate capitalism. I wanna self harm until I can relax again.
Anonymous 73187
>>72869you're going to have a horrible time finding a man who is a combination of your soon-to-be-ex-husband and the controlled sadist you're looking for, especially in any psychologically healthy way for you both.
To the point it's going to be so hard you'll regret leaving him. Speaking from experience
Anonymous 73188
>>72873your underconfidence and comparing yourself to someone else (especially if combined with someone who is chronically orbiting another person) is doing more damage to your perceived value than anything else. it's more likely that he is helping his own case by having you to talk with to deal with a possible unrequited love, than you being a worthless person in his eyes. I wouldn't bet money on him just using you, necessarily, but that's something to consider about this dynamic.
you shouldn't judge your behind the scenes with another person's highlight reel. to some extent you are right from reading the signs but does being depressed and insecure give you any leg up in this competition you're setting yourself into? how many of your eggs are in this basket? you may want to branch into more compatible people and have others to share with and not succumb to this mentality of competition.
you may want to take a step back from this and search for your own inner peace, try to become less involved in valuations and comparisons and be content with what you do have, and maybe even work on your personality a bit if you're really that far off from anyones favorite.
Anonymous 73194
>>73053What’s your career anon? maybe you just chose wrong
Anonymous 73197
I have terrible headaches every day from sitting in an uncomfortable position. Maybe I should do more neck exercises. Hope this will help or I'll have to withstand pain for 3 more weeks.
Anonymous 73204
i just want to sit in my apartment and do drugs all day and watch cartoons but i have to do school work and socialize with people otherwise my mental health will deteriorate more than it already has
Anonymous 73205
evilpost but I really hope my ex minecrafts himself. at least he's constantly suffering now which is good enough i guess. before you say anything, yes he deserves it.
Anonymous 73222
>>73204I wish I was you because I'm a fucking NEET and I hate it, I hate being isolated but not doing anything about it because I don't have to
Anonymous 73229
Made a stacyfish account in tinder and got 70 likes within the first 120 seconds. This is brutal.
Anonymous 73241
I'm genuinely confused as to whether I'm suffering from something akin to peter pan syndrome or if I'm just going through a completely normal ~finding myself~ phase. I'm 24 and live on my own in a country where college is free for context. my dearest interests are things that don't make money (or rather, it's verrrry difficult) but I struggle trying to settle for something else in order to become a productive member of society. I start a vaguely interesting college degree, lose interest and quit after <6 months, NEET out, apply somewhere else, rinse and repeat. it's become such a meme at this point: I disappoint my mom and my dad makes fun of me. I just want to find a profitable passion, and I lose interest so easily in these majors I'm not passionate about, but I'm also wondering if I'm immature with commitment issues. on the other hand I don't feel like I have the courage to pursue my dreams. I wish I had ambition.
Anonymous 73245
>>73241Produce porn games with RPG Maker. If you can draw, write and maybe even produce music you should have plenty of fun creating one if the idea isn't revolting to you. It's also one of few ways that I can see generating money for you if you want to go art route.
Anonymous 73250
>>73241Take it from someone who went through a similar ordeal in life, except my colleges weren't free.
Don't mix passion and career.
A career is a necessary evil you have to dedicate a third of your day to achieve independence in the other two thirds.
Go for a career where you can achieve the most money you can with the least amount of trouble and stress. You don't want to think about your job after work hours. Use the money to fuel your actual passions. Do what you really want. Even if you don't know what that is yet, you'll have the resources to truly explore your desires.
And maybe you never really find anything you're hyper passionate about, but you'll have had more experiences than most, and at the end of the day that's what's important, living a full life.
Get a job.
Then get a guitar and some lessons. Maybe take a cooking class. Go skydiving.
Just don't expect to fill fulfilled from your job. That's the trap.
Anonymous 73251
>>73245Coomerpost.
You just want more porn.
Anonymous 73253
>>73250Not the anon, but that's really good advice. I'm in a similar position rn. Needed to see that
Anonymous 73256
>>73250This is a great reply but,
>A career is a necessary evil you have to dedicate a third of your day to achieve independence in the other two thirds.Not a third but more like most of it. In my experience most jobs take up a lot of time, if the place is understaffed then you practically don't have any free time to do something meaningful (using my friend as a reference, she works 5 days and has 1 weekend day)
Anonymous 73265
real crime videos messed me up, stay away from them it is just morbid curiosity and content creators are often times disrespectuful to the victim's pain, and if I could go back in time and change literally anything I'd stop myself from watching real crime videos or reading about real crime, it is just as bad as porn
Anonymous 73266
>>73265I think those videos where a girl is doing her makeup as she tells the story of a crime are so stupid and often disrespectful. Go to Bailey Sarian’s channel and look at the video thumbnails… ugh. I prefer watching actual true crime documentaries instead of watching some girl do her makeup.
Anonymous 73267
>>73266>prefer watching actual true crime documentariesthey are not as cringey but they are bad too imo, it's about the themes, you really don't get anything positive out of them and if the victim was related to you in any way you wouldn't be able to go through the video
Anonymous 73268
I’m sorry for long venting I just don’t have anyone to talk to. You can just ignore this.
I hate myself. I hate my life. I hate everything. There’s like this really painful stabbing feeling in my chest and it won’t stop. I just wish I didn’t exist anymore. I wish I was invisible. Wish I could melt into the floor. It hurts so so badly and I try so so hard to make it stop and it won’t and I just don’t know how much longer I can take this anymore. I’m so tired and my tears taste like salt on my cheeks. I’m so bitter, resentful, sad, angry, broken, and cold inside. I never understood when people said forgiveness isn’t saying what the person did was okay, but that you’re moving on and you’re letting it go so it doesn’t poison you anymore. And just today I understood, and it’s too late and it has infected me. Through and through. They get off Scott free, he gets to escape prison by OD-ing, while I obsess over it and let it ruin my entire life for years since, every facet is ruled by this one moment years ago, every.single.day every interaction, every word. I think I let resentment destroy me. I see all these normal people and I would do anything, I would give ANYTHING to be like them. To feel how they feel inside. Just for a second. It feels like a break I’ll never catch. I just want to go to sleep for a long time and when I wake up everything’s better again. So so badly. More than anything you have no idea. No matter how hard I try it’ll never be good enough. I’ll never be good enough.
P.s. I hope you all nice people have a good day on behalf of those of us who can’t
Anonymous 73269
>>73268I am so sorry for what happened to you. You have inherent worth as a human being, a person, and what you went through doesn’t mean you’re inferior or that there’s something wrong with you. I’m sorry and I hope you have a great day too. Please don’t be too hard on yourself :(
Anonymous 73282
Just took some candid videos of myself to see what I look like to others, and I looked so bad I had a mini breakdown. I can't believe I actually talk or attempt to form relationships with other humans when I look like this. I'm literally disgusting looking and so awkward too. I've resigned myself to cats.
Anonymous 73283
Having a big nose being a female feels so awful
Anonymous 73284
>>73283Both wide noses and big from the side/hook noses can look really cute on other girls imo
Anonymous 73286
>>73284Wide noses never look good honestly. Sometimes a long/hook nose can have a striking look though
Anonymous 73292
>>73286Usually on women who otherwise have almost no other 'flaws'.
Not trying to shit on anyone, it jjust irritates me when people say "x can look good on people it's not a flaw!!" and then bring up photos of women with said flaw but have otherwise very favorable facial features.
Anonymous 73301
>>73087Have you considered getting a fucking job and being financially independent? The sheer fucking nerve of western NEETs to be financially dependent on their parents and still doing the "I hate my parents" routine into adulthood is astounding
If you don't want to deal with your parents, there is an easy solution known as moving out
Anonymous 73302
>>73286Lots of Asian, Black and other instagram and e-girl types have wide noses and they still look cute.
Anonymous 73305
>>73301don't know where OP is from but if she's a 3rd world sis, moving out is really not all that easy, you simply can't get a proper job while studying a career, nobody will consider you for a decent job w only a hs diploma (obviously) and the options left are definetely bare minimum pay. There are not many colleges with a campus dorm so if you move out you most liklely have to find your own apartment +cover all expenses, first world people are so juddgemental of YAs that haven't moved out but they really are talking from privilege, and maybe even OP is a from the first world, and she may still ne unable to move out due to economic reasons. Her priority has to be studying, even more so if she has a very demanding career/programme, stay strong OP at least you're not short like me (5'2") and have your parents want to drive you literally anywhere because they are scared of you getting kidnapped (and as annoying as it is, I kind of get it, still trying to make progress and improve this situation)
Anonymous 73307
>>73302None of them look good to me. Thin noses are prettier.
Anonymous 73310
I miss image posting.
Anonymous 73313
>>72144ive been stimming for 6 hours straight like the absolute STACY i am
Anonymous 73315
>>72977youre super smart tbh, never be a spineless doormat. i beat the everliving shit out of my sister as well for the same reaosn.
Anonymous 73316
I started smoking again. It feels fucking amazing. I'm not telling anyone. I never got really addicted to it, maybe smoked a pack in one night or two days and then stopped for 2,3 or 5 months and do the same. Sometimes I got tired of it so easily that I threw away half of the pack. I could hurt my boyfriend really bad if he ever knows about this but right now I'm not worried at all. We all deserve our secrets and our guilty pleasures. I do really hope I could buy 100% natural tobaco and smoke it in a wooden pipe, I'm still concerned abot all the shit they put on cigarettes.
Anonymous 73317
>>73310Same, I wanna post pictures of Chads and make the loser moids who stalk this board feel insecure
Anonymous 73323
My favorite favorite ASMR artist got nuked off of Youtube and I couldn't find any of her other socials. I've only got a single one of her videos downloaded.
Her wlw audios just filled me with so much joy and comfort that I've not come across with other creators. She could adapt such an amazing dominant and confident attitude and I loved sinking into her voice.
If you ever see this, Instant Coffee, you helped me so much with my sleep problems and made me feel loved, seen and completely at ease when I got to listen to you. <3
Anonymous 73324
>>73323>listens to ASMR for the ASMR>God gives her a chance at redemption and takes away her ASMR>doesn't recognize His blessing and hops on an image forum to cry about her ASMR being taken away Anonymous 73326
>>73324Imagine not having tingles before bed lol loser
Anonymous 73332
I can't find any asmrtist I like. Half of them seem like creepy brainwashing types, the rest are overly saccharine, pretentious and patronizing and talk to their audience as if they're 5 years old.
Anonymous 73333
I just broke my glass teapot. I could buy the filter or the tap on separate but not the teapot so I'm spending almost 30€ on a teapot+filter+tap and I guess I'm accumulating the accessories. I don't have the money for this but tea is one of my only joys and sometimes I use my teapot almost 5 times a day. I should be more careful when washing things.
Anonymous 73339
>>73302> instagram and e-girl typesThe ones that usually put tons of makeup, right?
Anonymous 73348
Recently I've started dating an incredible girl, and we've been very happy. she likes the same weebshit I do and embraces my autism, it feels like she's my sole connection to the outside world and having to interact with normies.
I can't help it, but I constantly feel the desire to cheat on her, with men specifically. I'm a virgin, and I want to have sex and have fun, like a normal girl. I don't know what to
Anonymous 73349
>>73332I only listen to Japanese or Korean male asmrtists because I can't understand the cringey dialogue they say
also because pretty asian men are nicer to look at before bed
Anonymous 73350
>>73348honestly by writing this you basically cheated on him already and you need to tell him and show him this post and admit to it because by writing this you basically cheated on him already and you need to tell him
Anonymous 73351
>>73350please stop if you don't understand what kind of situation I'm in, I really don't know what to do and I control the way I feel I love her but I don't know what to do I'm so conflicted and feel so guilty
Anonymous 73352
>>73351I think you should try tantric sex. It really helped my aunts
Anonymous 73354
>>73322no. the autistic rocking back and forth
Anonymous 73357
im sexually frustrated, i havent had a partner in 4 years and i cant focus at university, its really annoying
Anonymous 73370
>>72144my life and by extension my mum's life has been so fucked over by bad luck it's ridiculous. i just want me and her to be okay it's not fair.
even when things have gone well my brother has managed to fuck things up for everyone im gonna go white boy joker mode soon
Anonymous 73382
>>72494three days after i posted this i did try and kill myself and ended up getting sectioned. still utterly miserable and wish i'd succeeded. wish i didn't let moids get in my head to the point i'm trying to an hero over them
Anonymous 73383
>>73382seriously anon, just make yourself forget about them and this whole incident. just go home and live your life and you'll move on pretty quickly.
Anonymous 73391
When I see stories of girls who have extremely caring devoted boyfriends, I ache with jealousy. I want a man to feel protective and caring over me, I want a man to feel like he wants to save me. The only man who ever showed any kind of care or saviour complex towards me left years ago. I just want to feel protected and cared for again.
Anonymous 73393
>>73391I feel this. I have a bf, but he's not protective or caring. He's not mean, but he rarely shows genuine concern for me. I find it very disappointing.
Anonymous 73411
how silly would it be if i made a twitter (and eventually an OF) with edited and photoshopped photos of myself with wigs and non identifiable objects in images, cashed out, then disappeared? i'd use a porn star name and nobody would know it was me. i don't think its that out there considering a majority of girls do it nowadays with their real information and real looks attached. id feel safer knowing it wasnt really me, just edited and unrealistic images of me to sell for money.
Anonymous 73412
>>73411Very. If you show your face it will show up on face recognition apps. Even if you delete your content it will be uploaded elsewhere by some moid. You can make it harder for tge apps to work by covering part of your face but the technology will advance soon enough.
Anonymous 73414
im going to have to put down the dog ive had for almost 20 years
Anonymous 73419
>>73414I'm sorry anon. At least you had plenty of time together.
Anonymous 73429
Goood damn I hate this day.
I'm so lonely.
I just want a workaholic gf who I can pamper and spoil and worship, is that so much to ask for?
Anonymous 73435
We had to do partner work in class today so I just left. This world hates loners.
Anonymous 73436
I literally have no one. I'm completely alone. Each day I can feel the call to just end it getting louder.
Anonymous 73439
>>73435I’ve done the same thing. Teachers who do that are fucking demons. At least assign partners…
Anonymous 73440
how do i stop feeling empty
Anonymous 73444
Why the fuck is my sister so mentally unstable? She is always treated like a princess by my parents so if she tries to hit me (it happens all the time) no one will defend me or hear my side because she's always the victim, and if i try to defend myself from that enraged monkey they will join her and beat my ass too, i fucking hate her. Ugly ass bitch is not my fault your life is shit, join the line
Anonymous 73445
I want to drop out of college and quit my job. I can’t fucking do this
Anonymous 73446
>>73444Samefag but I'm so glad I found this site, she lurks a lot of imageboards but for some reason she doesn't like this one, this is very liberating.
Anonymous 73452
I'm so tired of my boyfriend. All he does is make empty promises. He promised me a day of grandeur, which I didn't even want I just wanted to spend time together even if it was a lazy day. But he can't even do that. He has barely talked to me today. I'm crying eating a giant chocolate Kiss. I might break up with him, it's been a year of empty promises to make himself feel good and never following through.
Anonymous 73453
Talking to people about anything feels really exhausting and like a chore these days. Even though I've had bad experiences with being ghosted by people I thought I was very good friends with, now I find myself doing it to others constantly because I just find it too exhausting to build relationships anymore. It's like this even online, which used to be the one place I had friends (And very many, at that). Now I'm bad at replying even to people there.
I think deep-down I still get occasionally bothered about being lonely, like you
>>73436, but after seeing how transient most friendships end up being I see little point in building new ones. The new people I met, I feel much more superficial around, but I feel like after a certain point that can't be fixed anymore.
Anonymous 73455
Ughhhh I want a boyfriend I work out every single day and try to be well read and interesting and i take care of myself. Why the fuck are the only men interestd in me brain damaged, manlets or men who literally look deformed. and WHY THE FUCK did i waste my youth on such a piece of trash.
Anonymous 73458
>feel suicidal
>try to talk with a stranger
>i start to vent
>stranger starts to get weird
>asks if I have a nice ass
>asks if I have a pic
Goodbye, but don't forget about moids nature.
Anonymous 73470
My focus at work as been slowly decreasing over the course of the year, to a point where I can barely focus at all, and spend the time either shitposting on lolcow, browisng moidfarms, or simply daydreaming. I feel like I've reached ground zero. I still get the work done in a rush when deadlines approach, so I won't get fired. I just want to stop working for a while. Instead of working for some outside disconnected entity that I utterly do not care about, I will be able to work on stuff that I love, and learn tons of things, which working prevents me to.
I wish I could become a self sufficient monad at that point.
Anonymous 73474
>be me, grew up super shy and awkward and constantly tired in the way I've heard "are you sick?" 100s of times
>have (mostly invisible) jaw deformity that makes it hard to pronounce words and makes it hurt to talk
>struggles socially
>first time in my life find someone, a mega extrovert I can really talk to
>spend one night talking and laughing with this friend
>go to sleep in the morning
>wake up feeling alive for the first time in my life and full of energy for the entire day, I even look glowing
>wake up the next day after feeling like shit again, have been perma-exhausted like usual
Looking back it was such a wonderful day but I wonder if I just imagined it.
Anonymous 73478
Having opinions that are considered radfem makes me feel so alienated from other women sometimes. My therapist called Andrea Dworkin a terf. Most of my peers introduce themselves with their pronouns. I have to be very careful about what I say around friends. Even on non trans-related issues like makeup and onlyfans I often feel like no one shares my opinions except my boomer classically feminist mother. I feel like there's no hope for women of my generation. Also I'm detrans and autistic so that definitely adds to it lol. Help
Anonymous 73479
is it normal for me to feel completely nothing for friends and loved ones because of depression? I was diagnosed with it last June and I'm kinda figuring things out. It ebbs and flows, like one day I will be okay and another day I will be completely numb and unfeeling/irritable. For the past couple days I've been the latter. It's making me wonder if I'm a bad girlfriend/sister/daughter. lmk if this is normal or if im actually a sociopath?????
Anonymous 73480
>>73479>is it normal for me to feel completely nothing for friends and loved ones because of depression?Normal? Yes.
Anonymous 73481
>>73479When I'm dissociating I don't feel anything either, including love or empathy
Anonymous 73482
I'm experiencing very heavy brainfog and dissociation and I don't know why
Anonymous 73483
Does anyone else feel as though early exposure to 4chan messed them up? I started browsing there when I was around 12 and I would browse daily until I was around 17-18. Thank God I was never groomed or anything, but the sexism, gore, hate, and other moid behavior probably changed my outlook on the world, but I'm trying to correct that now. Of course this doesn't apply to every board and 4chan is fine as it is, but it can be disruptive for kids, especially girls. I don't know, I could be oversensitive, but does anyone else that grew up on imageboards relate?
Anonymous 73485
I still can't figure out if my crush is gay or not, lmao. And I can't ask him either. He's not camp or anything but I honestly think he's just way too nice and skinny to be hetero tbh.
Anonymous 73486
>>73483I feel like it blackpilled me beyond belief on male nature. I don't even see most men as sentient beings anymore.
Anonymous 73487
my legs are literally covered in spider veins, and have been since I hit puberty. i'm not overweight, i think it's just genetic since my grandma had them when she started developing as well. but it makes me feel like a freak. when i look at girls around me just happily wearing shorts and skirts i can't believe how perfect their legs look meanwhile mine are covered in ugly blue and purple splotchy veins. literally never seen anyone else my age with a case so obvious. i tried saline injections and lasers but they came back again.
Anonymous 73488
>>73487and honestly i really want a bf but i don't feel like i can let any guy see my legs bare, they look disgusting. ill probably never get to have sex, unless it's pitch dark.
Anonymous 73490
>>73488ALSO forgot to mention im not sure if this is the 'tism or whatever but i get really easily disgusted by the human body. anything like snot, discharge, period blood, poop, cum, spit or pee makes me want to vomit, and even just looking at people's skin or faces of seeing their genitals in porn provokes a strong disgust in me especially if they're not 2D or robot tier perfect and smooth looking. i get really disgusted looking at my own body and face too because of all the imperfections. i want to change this mindset but I think its innate to my brain.
Anonymous 73497
>>73453I feel the same way. It's extremely rare to meet people I have things in common or click with. I had a good online friend who I could talk to easily about everything, but after a while I think it became too burdensome to talk online so we drifted apart. Since then, I've tried making new friends and talking to guys online as both friends and in a dating app context. I don't have anything in common with any of them and the conversations become awkward and stale fast, even when I try my best to be bubbly and polite. It's pretty much the same with irl conversations. I feel like our energy and moods are always out of sync and when I try to be chatty and friendly with people I find they become aloof and when I'm irritable and aloof I find people try to talk to me too much. I'm kind of worried now that I can't make another friend or find anyone I really want to date.
Anonymous 73501
I literally just want to be happy (and not so poor)
Anonymous 73503
Moids are literally incapable of being virgins or never dating before, despite wanting virgin females. (Most of them had experiences with relationships and had kissed women.) I'm currently thinking of leaving my current bf because he's not a virgin, yet I am one. I hate brosties. I genuinely can't fucking stand non virgin men. Disgusting and revolting. s, please help. I genuinely think it's disgusting and he's had sex 40-50 times with 3 different girls. I'm the dominant one, but I genuinely can't stand that he's a whore. I genuinely think I hate him for this. I make him feel guilty for it all the time, but there's nothing I can do to make him atone for this. I think I am going to do down the route of being voluntarily celibate, bc it seems that all moids equate to nothing. I make my own money and have enough to survive, and am pretty young. It just seems like moids aren't worth giving two shits over. Both leftist and traditional moids are a fucking joke. I might just travel. I have seen too much.
Anonymous 73504
I am in a very dark place right now and affecting my family, I feel awful, I have unwillingly become hateful and just toxic and I feel awful and like I'm dragging others into my mess, I don't know what to do, OCD, depression, scrupulosity, I'm just so done, I don't have money for therapy and I'm positive I have ruined my life and nothing will ever be the same due to my actions. I feel helpless and it is just an endless dark pit but I am against suicide and I know that would make it even worse for my family. I don't know, a big part of me has always blamed poverty and an early exposure to internet but I'm afraid it is just me and only me, my faith used to help me stand on my own two feet a bit but now I feel I don't deserve anything at all, I want to keep on living but I cry everyday, I have trouble sleeping everyday, I have a hard time doing my homework everyday, it has began to become crippling and I'm terrified, happiness seems like just a word at this point. I'd like to advice everyone to not take things lightly, to be careful and mindful of their actions and the places they frequent, the ideas and practices they adopt and be a good influence and a safe space for one another, I wish nobpdy to feel the way I feel, good night.
Anonymous 73506
the only thing keeping me going is the hope that sometime in the near future (around 10 years maybe) i’ll be living off the grid or in a small fem separatist land in a biomimicry house with pets and working at a library… i know this is ridiculous considering where im currently am but i can dream
Anonymous 73531
>>73497Dating apps are hard because both parties need to superficially stand out alot to eachother to be filtered from the hundreds of creeps, weirdos, and assholes that go on them. You also need to look your best in your profile photo, for that to happen - Good lighting, makeup and/or photo editing to remove skin imperfections (If you don't have any conventionally attractive enough features). Dating apps like Tinder are designed to judge by appearance first. That's why the first part you see of someone's profile is their picture, after all. Then you also need to have a very originally thought out bio. Don't put something like "Looking here to have fun/find a partner/hookup/etc. : )" No shit you are. It's a dating app. Other small things like having too many photos of yourself, of yourself with your dog etc. can all also easily make people swipe left on you. All in all, its like speed-dating but even more superficial. I tried dating apps last year for awhile, but I came to the conclusion they're horrible ways for meeting people. I'd much rather date someone from inside my existing social circle. Dating apps have everything I hate about dating, except amplified by x10 (And made for cashgrabs. I felt like after awhile I was forced to get the premium subscription for these sites because their free versions semeed virtually unusable for what I was looking for).
Anonymous 73533
I can't tell if I'm being callous but the way my mom side-swipes me on the daily fucks up my mental health (and just for the record I go through worse things…it's just 0 to 100 stuff over the littlest things that put me in constant fight-or-flight mode during down times).
I've been guilt tripped 1000s of times through the years, often with her randomly saying something disturbing, I don't want to be "me, me, me" but holy shit it wrecks my whole day/week.
The other day she screamed she was going to kill me when she thought I damaged a picture (I didn't) ffs.
Sigh.
Anonymous 73580
i think i fucked up my grad school interview with my dream school and thinking about all my slip-ups is making me depressed.
Anonymous 73584
I have no idea what kind of career to do. Today after being fed up with "burnout" i realized that i really just don't like my job and dont get energy or motivation from it. I love helping people and volunteering but i also have fatigue problems and get tired quickly. I'm so lost. The money I make right now is really good too, thats kind of the only reason im doing it.
Anonymous 73588
I HATE HIM I HATE HIM I HATE HIM I HATE HIM I HATE HIM I HATE HIM I HATE HIM I HATE HIM I HATE HIM I HATE HIM I HATE HIM I HATE HIM I HATE HIM I HATE HIM I HATE HIM
Anonymous 73589
>>73581>forgot to greet the first two professors who introduced themselves>mispronounced “utilitarian”>didn’t know what questions to ask because i just had another interview with the director earlier that day and most of my questions were answered>some moments of awkward silence due to me not knowing what to ask and forcing myself to think of questions>(briefly) brought up difficult personal event when they asked me why i had to withdraw from a quarter at my previous schoolthe whole thing just felt massively awkward. they complimented my research but i just didn’t feel good about the interview at all.
Anonymous 73617
Anyone else feel amazing after a night of drinking? Usually I wake up, drive my mom to work and then go back to sleep and wake up late(11 to 12 AM). The day before yesterday, I drank a bit of whiskey and went to sleep at the same time I usually sleep at which is pretty late. The next day, I woke up as soon as my mom told me and felt so refreshed and came back and drank some coffee and just overall felt great and not sleepy at all.
Anonymous 73626
>>73622thank you. i have no expectations at this point because of how competitive the program is but i have other interviews lined up at least.
Anonymous 73635
I hate you you whiny flippant self-centered slob of a person
Anonymous 73655
My coworker keeps sniffling and it is driving me up the fucking wall
Anonymous 73661
MY PARENTS STOLE MY DILDO AND DECIDED TO SAY NOTHING ABOUT IT
I PAID MONEY FOR THAT SHIT
Anonymous 73662
>>73661Anon, that is so awkward I'm sorry. Where were you keeping it?
Anonymous 73663
>>73662MY FUCKING UNDERWEAR DRAWER
THEY RUMMAGED THROUGH MY UNDERWEAR
I'M MOVING OUT AND CHANGING MY NAME THAT SHIT IS SO FUCKING CREEPY
Anonymous 73664
>>73663That's so fucked, you need to get out.
Anonymous 73665
>>73663Its because for as long as you live with your parents they will see you as a child. In some rare cases it could be more deranged than that, but generally not.
Anonymous 73666
>>73533 It's one thing to have to deal with people like that sometimes, but when you have to be so close or in the same house as them it's hard to ever relax. When someone constantly wears you down, it genuinely is really tough and you're definitely not being 'me, me, me' about it. I hope that you find a way out.
Anonymous 73667
>>73661sorry for you shitty parents, my mom just politely ignored it the one time I accidentally left it in the bathroom.
Anonymous 73668
>>73667oh god. CC has achieved levels of second hand embarrassment that I never thought possible.
I constantly fear my dildos being found, it's incredibly unhealthy and I sometimes wish I didn't give a shit if someone found them.
Anonymous 73669
>>73663same thing happened to me, I got really upset but then I forgot about it because I can't move out anyway loooool
Anonymous 73706
E6wMej5VUAAvB9x.jp…
i don't know what to do with my life anymore. i haven't felt anything genuine for so long, i feel like im gonna get tired of being alive that i might just break and end it all. my life became more meaningless than before i fucking hate this
Anonymous 73758
I hate the fact that whenever men are talking about how pornography is bad, they make themselves the victims because
>muh pp gone soft
Rather than addressing all the rape, human trafficking and pedophilia in the industry. I can't believe how self centred and empathyless scrotes are.
Anonymous 73769
I hate the entire culture of Tik Tok. They all come off as so narcissistic. I hate so many people in my age group and their retarded slang.
Anonymous 73816
>>73779
Anon, are you gonna tell me that all the sluts on Onlyfans selling their ass shots are being "forced by society" to di it?
Are they being raped into it?
Porn corrupts everyone, not just moids, and for us it's easy money. You don't need to even be hot or pretty to do it.
Anonymous 73819
>>73816No but they're obviously either sheltered yet empty enough to not understand what they're getting into… or sexually abused enough that THAT is how low the feel good bar is set for themselves.
Anonymous 73824
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>>73818>>73819>OnlyFans has more than 1 million creators worldwide as of January 1, 2021The money is way too good to pass up on, specially for women in college who are in major dept.
Anonymous 73832
>>73808Wanna try chatting a bit on discord?
Maybe we hit it off, you never know until you try, and God knows I could use a friend too.
Anonymous 73835
>>73824only the top women on onlyfans make any real money and they have teams working behind the scenes. the average college girl is not going to make anything near that unless she can assemble a team, gain some sort of fame (any field), or have a very uncommon body shape or extremely good plastic surgery
Anonymous 73840
my ldr bf is probably going to break up with me before we meet up again, ive also learnt he had a thing with and for his fwb, it stings.
Anonymous 73842
>>73840pull the bandage off and break up with his first
Anonymous 73843
>>73842I can't bring myself too, maybe I have been manipulated this whole time and I'm still wearing rose tinted glasses.
Anonymous 73844
>>73843are you happy? does the relationship now make you feel better than before you were together?
Anonymous 73845
Tumblr_l_371040001…
Oh no. Middle-aged guy who hates his job and has a cool emotionless personality, I am once more Romantically frustrated..
Anonymous 73846
be careful with the things you see if you have OCD please
Anonymous 73858
>>73844I was happy getting to know him and I still am, I get this vibe he's been denying that he, himself still has feelings for someone else. I rather he just be honest even if it hurts me. I'm too fucking old for this.
Anonymous 73871
maxresdefault (1).…
>be me, tall if muscular awkward autist blob girl, bit scary looking sometime, feel bad about it
>go to college
>have great time and have fun with most of my dormmates, we go out, have parties, etc. most of us were homebody nerds with similar interests and encouraged to go out by the one beautiful, pretty girl among us
>thought she was cool and fun at first, but later learned that she had been talking behind my back about how fucked up and shitty I look without makeup despite all of the girls in the dorm not wearing any besides her. one time I entered the dorm and heard her loudly talking about how creepy I am and look. I felt bad but accepted it. It felt weird bc she always was nice to my face and I wish she at least didn't try to overcompensate
>deal with it and just avoid her bc I'm a wimp lol
>later on I hear her going on about a club
>be aware that she likes doing drugs
>heard from someone I randomly talked to the other day horror stories about that club
>tell her what I heard and say I'm worried about her even if I feel awkward and like a retard bringing it up and tell her the fucked up stuff that happens there and the shady drugs
>she shrugs me off and said that I don't know what I'm talking about because I have never lived life and am a weirdo (not those exact words but similar)
>she overdoses there after apparently being given a bad dose of a drug and is hospitalized for months with permanent brain damage
>to this day still somehow feel like shit wondering if I could have been able to express myself better or if I wasn't me and someone better, maybe she would have believed me while feeling like a self-centered twat for feeling so
sigh
Anonymous 73872
>>73871it's not your fault, never blame yourself for peoples mistakes
Anonymous 73877
>>73871Why would you feel bad about a monster getting what they deserve?
Anonymous 73879
>>73871You're a good person, you did what you could.
Anonymous 73882
>>73871Are we back to posting tumblr-esque fake stories?
Based tbqh
Anonymous 73886
28577521_157827273…
I have never had any close friends irl and I feel like it's almost 80% not my fault. I know it feels like I am putting my blame on others but I used to think it was just me and was insanely depressed cause of that but now I think I was/am just really unlucky. From elementary through HS and college (dropped out first year but am going to a different one next year) I never met someone who shared my interests, I only ever talked with people about general things on their interests. And all the places I went to I was put in groups that had more boys than girls for seemingly no reason. In elementary school we were divided into 3 classes, the first 2 had about the same amount of boys and girls but the last one was almost all boys and 5 girls and I was in that class, almost the same case in HS, and in uni the exact same thing happened but almost everyone there was a foreign student, meanwhile other groups had like one or two foreign students and none of them even spoke my language. If next year I will again be put in an unlucky group and will find no one who shares my interest and if that happens I really may just break.
I thought of like going on facebook or twitter and find some groups related to my interests, but I just have no idea where or how to search even, since no one ever told me even remotely where I could find people that like similar stuff
Anonymous 73887
>>73886I cant even write, I meant to write "but also almost everyone in my group was a foreign student, meanwhile other groups had like 1 or 2 foreign students, and none of the foreign students in my group spoke my language"
Anonymous 73899
OMFG i am such a stupid sperg. everything i do is fucking stupid and awful and i have no idea how to live life and be a normal person. i feel like an alien pissing fluids everywhere and everyone is looking at me like some fucking freak whenever i even enter a room covered in my own piss. i dont even know how to behave like a human being holy shit how does anyon tolerate me. how does this guy tolerate me i am SO AWKWARD and weird
Anonymous 73900
I'm losing weight for no reason. I'm not at a point of worry yet, mostly because I half suspect the scale is lying to me. I started losing weight in late 2019 when I first got on Benzos. I was so deathly afraid of gaining antidepressive weight I just severely cut my food intake by half. Stopped eating dinners altogether. The only consistent meal I had was breakfast (coffee and something sweet). In turn, I was walking on a cloud the 5 hours of the day that I managed to keep awake. Dropped from 53kg to 49kg that year. Gained back a kilo the next year. By summer 2021, I was adamant to count my cals.
My diet consists of garbage. But I never felt bad because at least I was eating garbage on a calorie deficit. Dropped from 50kg to maybe 47kg in 4 months. Not sure that figure is right. So far, I'm not feeling the direct effects of my garbage diet, or maybe I've just gotten used to the brain fog, borderline cognitive retardation and unwillingness to take more than 5k steps a day in any chosen direction. My hairline is fucked (maybe due to the Accutane maybe not). My nose might need some work in the future because it has a deviated septum. So even without those 8 kilos I dropped, I'm still not.. uh, beautiful?
When I was 14, I used to feel physically sick at being "ugly", frumpy and fat. Now at 23, I just don't really feel anything in regards to my appearance. It's the me, on the inside, that's so rotten and deficient that's incapable of BEING LE BEST ME ILL EVER BE XD. That also doesn't bother me. I wonder if the Benzos fried off my last neuron.
Anonymous 73901
I loathe Reddit.
I genuinely, absolutely fucking loathe it.
Maybe my brain's been poisoned by many years browsing that feces polishing flip forum, but every time I see a normoid's take on geopolitics I wish I could fucking gauge my eyes out. This shouldn't even bother me, I'm not even an expert on international politics, but every time an American writes "We must uphold our values of liberty and freedom and defend Ukraine from Russian aggression" and then some fucking retard says a variation of the status quo and get downvoted and called le bot, I just feel such an unironic surge of hate flow through me. They're not all underage either, these are adults who believe the world revolves around goodness, and that there is such a thing as justice in the world, and that AMERICA is the deliverer of said justice.
What is it that makes me seethe? It's not the hypocrisy, because a normoid has no say in whatever crimes their government may have committed. Moreover, I'm so jaded I believe "principles" and "ideals" and "morals" are just fraudulent concepts peddled to us to give a semblance of virtue, when all governments and all peoples are guilty of being abhorrent fucking scummy cunts who seek only their self-advancement (that's okay, I actually admire people who admit to being self-centered) but do it under the guise of some moral crusade.
Anonymous 73902
>>73901Basado.
btw ruble is crashing again send help ьуь
Anonymous 73903
>>72977That's the way to deal with it anon. 12 is the age where boys start exploring their manhood, and if you live in a culture that covets traditional masculinity you'll get boys practically pissing everywhere to mark their territory.
My brother was acting cunty that way too when he was 12. I beat him on a number of occasions, once going so far as to cut his skull with the leg of a chair. My parents said I had no right to "discipline" him (later in life they would berate me for not acting like his third parent the way they'd like) Then I stopped interacting with him.
It took a couple more years, when he was 14 and he settled down, went back to being the sweet selfless little brother I always knew. Thing is, the period of silence affected me more than I'd like to admit. It's like I've programmed my mind to think I had no brother, and now I need to accept him again.
Anonymous 73907
>>73901Unrelated but i find american patriotism so damn hot, like idc if it's being said by a hillbilly redneck or a jaded retired navy or a racist cuckservative or whatever. I usually think nothing of it online, i analyze it from a purely political pov when seen in serious /pol threads or reddit comments. But irl it's a different story. It makes me so happy in a sense. I love it when people talk about that kind of stuff, it makes me feel giddy and safe, as illogical and false and nonsensical as it is. And for as much as i know that it is but a disgusting decoy to desensitize people back home to the atrocities committed in the name of conquest wars and greedy political motives, i can't help finding it adorable when oblivious citizens believe in it. My boyfriend is in the army and my god is it incredibly cute, "I am an American soldier
I am a warrior and a member of a team
I serve the people of the United States and live the Army values
I will always place the mission first
I will never except defeat
I will never quit
I will never leave a fallen comrade
I am disciplined, physically and mentally tough, trained and proficient in my warrior tasks and drills
I always maintain my arms, my equipment, and myself
I am an expert, and I am a professional
I stand ready to deploy, engage, and destroy the enemies of the United States of America in close combat
I am a guardian of freedom, and the American way of life
I am an American soldier" he has that on a poster along with a lot of USA flags in our room, it's so damn adorable to me. Something like a fetish but only emotionally and not sexually? Idk what's it's called. And yes feel free to berate me and call me scum and whatever i think i deserve it, hopefully it cures this trait of mine XDDDD
But in all seriousness, ive always found it so endearing, it and its simple minded, one dimensional understanding of the world. The USA is synonymous with liberty, freedom, blah blah blah. It's cute.
Anonymous 73918
>>73907I'm guessing you can't remember the war that spun out of 9/11 much
Anonymous 73920
>>73899Do you really piss all over yourself anon?
Anonymous 73944
>>73907For some reason I can't take Americans seriously because they've never really had a war on their soil. I wouldn't wish for that calamity to descend on them, but it honestly shows. My perception of them is that they really are an idealistic folk, who wholeheartedly believe in the words that get peddled to them in elections and that they peddle to us in turn. Europeans seem much more weary in contrast.
Anonymous 73961
>>73944Not a US anon, but they had a civil war that was pretty brutal, especially for the women in the South who were left in post apocalyptic conditions. Everyone hates it these days but the book Gone with the Wind describes it well, even if it fails with regard to slavery.
Anonymous 73963
I work hard at my internship, study for school, try to be a good friend and listen/give advice when needed. I've been working on my social anxiety and depression by going to therapy and even though it's hard to change my mindset, I do my best to be receptive to what my therapist says even if it's a hard pill to swallow. And for what? My life is still so empty. I spend most of my time stressed out or depressed instead of actually enjoying myself. I'm still alone in this fucking city with friends who are only mildly interested in me as a person. What's the point of working so hard and trying to be an understanding, positive person when everything just ends up being the same anyway? Of course, I'm going to keep going at it because something inside me knows it's what I'm supposed to do, but I just feel so empty. I will keep pushing on and doing my best, but I can't help but wonder what the point of it all is.
Anonymous 73964
>>73963It's a cliche anon but you need to become a whole person with a full life by yourself. You might be coming over too strong if you really want to make friends.
Anonymous 73980
>>73964Yep anon, you're right. I've been thinking that I should start figuring out what my hobbies are and schedule time for them so that I don't feel so empty. At the end of the day, I know it's on me to make my life better. I guess I was just frustrated because I'm actually pretty passive most of the time socially so my therapist told me I should take the initiative socially if I want more connections. Then I did try and it doesn't feel like it's paying off lol. There's always something I can do better or something I should be doing differently and then I try to reframe my mindset and do it and in the end I still feel crappy. I know it sounds like I'm just making excuses for myself, but I know you're right and I'm going to change! I just needed to let that out. Thanks for listening.
Anonymous 73992
>>73980Maybe joining a hobby related group would be good? But don't try and only look for friends, just wait to see if you get talking to someone a few times and they invite them to go to a cafe or something. I think trying to take the initiative is good but you have to do it right and make it seem natural.
Also, consider that not everyone is looking for a new friend and that friendships can be slow to grow. Just because someone is not interested it doesn't mean that you did something wrong.
Anonymous 74008
my dad is so frustrating. because he thinks his words must always be polite and amicable he comes across as a psychopath smiling through the rage yet he's surprised when people (especially women) find him intimidating. for example, one time he was angry about losing his job so he took it up with an employee and later recalled to me and my mom that he found it ~*amusing*~ (christ, he's such an overgrown edgelord) when she called a superior in to speak with him because she was intimidated. meanwhile, when my dad is angry he tilts his head up, closes his eyes partially, speaks in a cool, even voice using ~*big words*~ – despite the fact that he's red in the face, sweating, and six feet tall and over 200 pounds.
he's never learned how to communicate his feelings in words, only actions. he's the type to never share his desires but rather leave clues for others to pick up and be surprised when people can't read his mind. for example, one time we were planning a family getaway and we all pitched in ideas. when we asked my dad, he kept saying "i'm fine with anything" "whatever you want" etc. and then he sulked the whole vacation and on the last day told us he had obviously wanted to do W and X. which, yes – he had read books and watched movies on those topics, so obviously he was interested. but, couldn't he have simply pitched in the idea? we're a family of five; every idea counts. i get that he's afraid of communicating, but come on dad, you're in your 60's. please just toss in a word or two. we ended up extending the vacation so we could do the things my dad wanted, and once we had /flown home/ he added that he had also wanted to do Y and Z the whole time and that he was angry because we didn't do those activities. because of this it's become my role, amongst my siblings, to predict what my dad wants on vacations and book things for him rather than having him pitch in his ideas in the planning process.
he thinks maintaining a good relationship with my mom involves buying her gifts and so long as he keeps doing that he can continue to hide behind his falsities. he often makes comments about how most men wouldn't want to eat the dinners my mom likes, how most men would come home and beat their wives or how the key to happiness is an ugly wife. meanwhile, my mom has never been anything but devoted to him. to be honest, sometimes i feel so sad for my mother – my parents didn't marry out of love, but i do think they could have a closer bond but now they're both set in their ways and my mom thinks being amicable is just my dad's personality when i can see straight through it. despite thinking of himself as a rational, enlightened, holier-than-thou kind of guy he takes a black and white approach to interpersonal relationships and when he does speak it's to say something shockingly negative. he loves saying edgy things to get responses, even though i don't think he even believes half of the edgy things he says. increasingly, the comments are racist (much to the discomfort of my mom – she's actually brought this up with me). every once and a while he's an asshole to my mom for no reason, but because she's so used to him being nice to her she's too surprised to speak and afterwards he gets this smug little smile on his face. it enrages me.
frankly, there have been times in my life were i was afraid he would kill me, my sisters, or my mom. he's threatened physical violence in a "jokey" way before, especially when referencing some lines from his favorite movies with a creepy smile on his face. i have tried to talk to him and i do things to "appease" him like joke around with him, talk to him about his interests, and buy him gifts and direct him to events around the city i think he'd like, but like i said it's scary. i feel like i'm abandoning my mom, but right now my life is just figuring out how to get away from him so it stops being my problem.
Anonymous 74009
>>74008samefag i should add we are a family of five but that doesn't include my nieces and nephews; so it's not like everyone's first thoughts when planning that vacation were "what does our dad/grandpa want to do?" rather than collecting ideas and seeing what was feasible for the different generations of the family on different days.
Anonymous 74010
really dumb and I'm sorry if this sounds edgelord-ish, but I hope to off myself before I get too old.
it's pretty much because I've always been exhausted and constantly ill (as a kid I had 103 degree fevers monthly). I had maybe one day in my life where I felt so alive and full of life–I also looked so much better everyone I knew immediately complimented how great I looked. I was able to talk and think on the fly for once. Instead of that, every single day feels like zombie-mode. I wake up with bloodshot, painful, tired, blurry eyes and a numb, heavy body and it never gets better, even with exercise. I constantly forget stuff, I make dangerous mistakes. I can't even drive.
Ffs, it's ridiculous.
I'm a coward and I realize the only day I ever was kind of happy was that one I felt ok. I can't imagine getting old and having to deal with this…except 10x worse. I don't know how people have the strength to live with actual ailments. All I have is asthma and a crooked, painful jaw that makes it hard to talk, baby-tier shit.
Anonymous 74011
I want to die. Nothing is worth it now that my dream is gone.
Anonymous 74013
facebook is so horrible they literally have cero censorship and is filled with the most morbid humour and unregulated content, people making the nastiest jokes and having the foulest of languge and minds and it resembles the dark side of reddit (albeit, less drastic) but seriously no way I'd let a kid around fb it os such a mess and it would be nice if it just flopped once and for all because they don't care in the slightest about kids or young impressionable minds, even being old you should take care of what you hear and see and fb does a trash job at censorship on sensitive content, there's not even an 18+ filter or a spoiler option
Anonymous 74015
am I easily triggered? words like pdophile,rpe,r*pist trigger me and I have a hard time after seeing them included on posts or hear them, I get these things are unfortunately real and some want to address it, but I just don't want to see or hear those words ever, I wish there was a way to mute words/terms, maybeit is generational trauma because a generation above me was molested by a family member on my mom's side and on my dad's side they were abused by a neighbour and I myself was inppropriately touched by a cousin but these things just make me incredibly sad and impotent, and I wish it were discussed less or in a specific place on forums/sites with the possibility to filter out terms
Anonymous 74017
>>74015I'm sorry for what happened to you and I get how being reminded of it often is probably really hard but it's real life and you can't avoid it forever. If the sight of those words only trigger you you should probably seek therapy and get help, turning a blind eye and trying to forget those words/subjetcs exist will not help you.
Anonymous 74025
I may have anger management issues
Anonymous 74029
>>74013you're valid, i know exactly what that is like. Out of all social media platforms i despise Facebook the most, maybe because it's the only one i have tied to my real life identity as opposed to my Instagram and twitter where i talk to online friends, Facebook sadly keeps me in touch with work related stuff So it's inescapable, and most content is available in my mother tongue, ready to spread the backwards mentality of my conservative country, or their poisonous irreligious europe-envy propaganda at every turn and it's almost unbearable. There's something about having Image-Board culture (like 4chan, sometimes even 8kun levels of blackpill and fanaticism) be in your mother tongue that feels so awful, hits right in the guts. We're desensitized to English and its most vulgar terms because they're often said in a troll context or just- well, said everyday so carelessly to the point of becoming less hostile to us, but in your native language it's another story, it feels so vulgar and disgusting (TFW my father called me a bitch, over fighting about the TV's remote, the one time an insult made me cry)
>>74015I get that too, i have those words muted in my twitter and i try to avoid them in news headlines. They don't make me depressed as much as they make me furious, reading about abuse/r
pe/pdophilia can quite literally leave me feeling livid for a whole week and it's generally not good for your mental state when there's nothing you can do about it. I am a very non-violent person but the one time i feel like i could genuinely kill someone is when i read about p*do's, you must have it times worse seeing as it resonates with real life problems you've faced, i can only imagine how painful it must feel
And for the anon saying she's not valid for feeling this way, at least feeling upset that such disgusting behaviour is taking place in the world enough to interfere with your real life when you're but an observer, means you have a more intact sense of justice. It doesn't make her any less worthy than you, if you're far too desensitized to such stories they don't even bother you anymore. but it does mean you're less ready to take action about them and help stop them should the situation call for it, all you can do is preach about people being bombarded but how willing are you to forsake your own comfort to help any of them? You attitude doesn't reflect a promising answer to that. Anonymous 74032
I hate self righteous, judgmental, hypocrite people
Therefore I hate myself
Anonymous 74034
>>74032We are all like this and we all hate ourselves
Anonymous 74035
I hate MTF trannies and unironically want them to die lol
Anonymous 74038
>be me
>defective retard girl
I keep on trying to see what women see in men. If I see a man, and women find him attractive, I try to squint and see what’s so great. I try to see what’s so great, I try to imagine what women are supposed to want with men, and I get so frustrated, because I feel nothing primal. I would hate to touch a man, they just look weird. I keep thinking ‘one day I’ll get it’, like my mum says, but the idea of being with a man grosses me out. I’ve tried to like it. I feel so broken and wrong for not getting it.
I think I feel what I’m supposed to feel for men when I see women in tight skirts or women with a swagger to them, or with thick thighs (im so scrotey). They make the blood flow away from my head.
I keep on waiting for this phase to end and it never does. I don’t feel like a real woman yet. I feel like a weirdo. I thought stuff like this was supposed to be temporary.
Anonymous 74039
>>74038sounds like you're not straight anon
Sage 74040
>>74039Yes, but I thought this would end at some point. That I would be able to be attracted to men like a normal girl, and not have some inverted lust for the wrong gender.
And how could it be me? A ‘lesbo’? I feel normal, I don’t remember not being this way, I dress like a woman, and not a dyke. My family says they don’t exist. But I know I would hate to have to touch a man in a sexual context. I spent such a long time convinced lesbos don’t exist because I thought every woman felt what I felt, and then I found out they didn’t. I thought straight women were not attracted to men, nor wanted to have intercourse with them, and straight women thought about touching women a lot. I mean they really like men? I thought that didn’t exist. I thought men just, objectively, weren’t attractive.
Sorry for the autism. I occasionally dwell on my weirdness and have a freak out. Wait a couple of months, repeat.
Anonymous 74045
>>74040it's ok anon. it sounds like you might have some internalized homophobia too. maybe spending sometime in some (non trans infested) lesbian spaces might help? you can see that various types of lesbians exist and that being a lesbian is only one aspect, and otherwise they are just regular people
Anonymous 74048
>>74040don't be gay nona, or find a good looking man with more 'soft' features rather than strong ones, being a lesbo is shooting yourself in the foot, women do are objectively more appreciated for their beauty than men in general, that's why female singers and actresses have such a large female following. Don't be influenced by lgtbq propaganda, dykes suffer a lot, it is just as bad as being a gay man and they tend to be nearly as ridiculous. My advice to you is that you seem to gravitate towards a certain image of women, so why don't you become that ideal yourself? strive to become that woman yourself.
Anonymous 74056
>>74038Tbf I'm straight but I'm repulsed by 99.9% of men I see. I don't think I actually like anything about men apart from the good looking ones physical appearance. Most men certainly don't have inner beauty of any sort. Maybe a tiny amount of them.
Anonymous 74060
>>73920no but i feel that people look at me like i do
Anonymous 74069
6185ad36686ac6c28b…
>>74057What do you mean "is gone" though? Do you have any physical disabilities that make it impossible to do that? Can't you just keep making comics as a hobby anyway?
Anonymous 74072
>>74056I can't speak for anyone else, but my attraction to my bf is based on how he makes me feel (adored, safe, comfy,etc.).
For example when I'm on my own, it takes me 2 hours to get to sleep, I'm anxious, etc. When he/I visit I feel so tired before I get into bed and being cuddled by him is just so comfy I can't even explain.
Before we got together, I felt lonely but I no idea it would feel like this. I think built/handsome men are nice to look at, but I think that type of attraction is kind of male brained in a way? Same with thinking random guys are sexy and wanting to just fuck them (kind of gross). Sorry if I'm making no sense.
Anonymous 74084
Fuck me, fuck me, fuck me, fuck me.
I'm falling back into old habits again. This february last year I was chin deep in a long and arduous obsession with the manga snk. I was on /a/ almost 14 hours a day talking to those losers, theorizing and whatnot (and simping after Eren, my God am I a retarded slut).
With the things that I autistically obsess with, I am as bad as a hooligan. This year, I thought I was fine. I was finally coming off of the throes of a long depression. I got an internship abroad. I was fixing my papers, and started working remotely. But between the normal work-grind of 8 to 6, I found a new weird obsession. Geo-fucking-politics. FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK. And to make things worse, now I'm spending 16 hours a day on FUCKING /POL/. Something I haven't done for 5 years. And hanging around the same retards for long hours day after day sort of fucking brainwashes you because I genuinely feel like I no longer have much regard for human life, nor am I adhering to the acceptable social norms of tolerance. I'm turning into a piece of shit human being. I wish my fucking obsessions could be healthy, or could at least be academically oriented because I really fucking need to start reading that Deep Learning book, but I've been putting it off for too long now.
Anonymous 74085
>>74056I've never been attracted to a single IRL male physically, but when I masturbate I usually always envision some moid (usually conjured up by yours truly).
Anonymous 74087
>>74084download a site blocker add on. if you do want to visit, unblock for a specific amount of time and then do something else
Anonymous 74089
1645756755056.jpeg
i think i should stop checking the news every 5 goddamn minutes. it's hard since the current event is directly caused by my government and any step in the wrong direction could lead to my current location being affected but it's taking a large toll on my mental health. maybe at first i could set a timer to only check the news every 25, 30, 40… etc minutes, perhaps i'll try that
Anonymous 74090
>>74089How are you people dealing with it? Media blackout, or are they apprehensive what manlet man will do to opposition?
Also, do what I plan to do… Drown your stress in a tv show.
Anonymous 74092
>>74090the anti-war peaceful protests and solo picketers are being "dealt with" (arrested, their documents taken, their phones and stuff investigated), only one protester girl threw a molotov at a policeman and is now in jail. the main figure of the uncontrolled opposition (alexei navalny, the man-who-must-not-be-named) is in prison anyway so many people have lost any hope for ~the beautiful russia of the future~.
almost any media which isn't gov controlled is deemed a "foreign agent" but still continue to put out reports on the current situation and the gov media are putting more ~national agenda~ shows (propaganda bullshit) in its program instead of the usual brainrot entertainment.
that sounds cool but i'd need to search one specifically for my taste, can't remember people's faces so i'd need animation or stuff but yeah, thank you.
HI FSB i know you're here
Anonymous 74094
there have been a few threats to attack the u.s.a. over the years so naturally i've been wondering, if the u.s. gets more involved with russia, will they go after us?
of course if you ask that question on the internet you get "americans are untouchable, sheltered princesses who are stupid for caring. americans want everything to be about them"
doesn't really answer my question in a way that isn't fucking retarded. if you think anyone is selfish for caring about their probability of dying a violent death you're probably a braindead cunt.
not to mention the threat of a nuclear war, something that will wreck the entire fucking planet, is becoming a very real thing like it was back during the cold war.
literally everything that ever happens turns into a way for bitches on social media to flex their wokeness.
Anonymous 74098
>>74092Based Russkaya sister. Stay safe. Putin seems somewhat less than his usual reptilian self, and as someone who has lived through the fall of a dictatorship before, I can tell you that the beginning of the end is when the chief autocrats begins to show cracks in his outward demeanor. Of course the end could be years ahead still.
>>74094The US is definitely a lot more robust in its sphere of influence and hegemony than the nay sayers will claim (not american btw). Besides, you have Geography in your favor, so you're virtually unconquerable from oversea foes.
The biggest threat to you is inner conflict (school shootings, urban problems). Nukes may be scary in concept, but Nukes have literally castrated the trinity of shitfuckery (France, Germany, UK) out of their past imperialistic openly aggressive selves, and they're a paper shield (or a watergun) in the hands of China/Russia/Iran and maybe the US. Yeah normal warfare is now waged in proxy, so the only ones who get fucked are micro nations (like mine lol).
Anyways, it's a legitimate fear you have, but you gotta worry more about the problems you have homebound.
Anonymous 74123
Yesterday I posted a (in retrospect) dumb/cringe comment on a forum and got jumped by a lot of people. I can handle 1-2 people disagreeing with me but not this many. Now I feel like shit and can't stop thinking about it. I realize I may be too sensitive for the internet and won't post as many comments in the future but right now I don't know how to cope.
Anonymous 74125
>>74123What was the comment about? At least it was anonymous (I'm assuming). Luckily, internet dogpiles are pretty forgettable. I think people are more mildly entertained by the drama than what the person actually said. So even if people said mean things, they've probably already moved on. Staying off that forum for a few days and letting it blow over might be good for you.
Anonymous 74126
>>74123Exposure therapy works. Troll/bait on some ch
n, throwaway account on rddit and spew (your most) controversial takes.
Or maybe just don't post cringe.
But still you never have an obligation to fit in, no matter how much the foid brain tries to dictate it. Fuck'em
Anonymous 74128
>>74123Don't kill the part of you that is cringe, kill the part that cringes Anonymous 74130
I used to be so into buff tall handsome guys but now i don't even know whats happened to me.. Nowadays I can only get off to women and femme submissive men. I'm only attracted to femme features on men and it was really noticeable today when a very masculine "handsome" man came in to work today and I didn't react or care. I have never dated a woman before because I am scared of embarrassing myself since every leftie woman nowadays is calling herself gay, and I'm scared that my feelings may be taken advantage of just so a woman can say she had relations with me. I really do hate being this way but every time I try to be interested in manly men it just doesn't work. I don't get current day hype around being a dyke.
Anonymous 74131
>>74128lmaooo stop with the meme quotes
Anonymous 74132
1540723330284.jpg
I am so neurotic about everything it makes me hate myself, I never feel I do anything well. If my parents ask me to spend some time with them, I will feel bad for not studying, if I decide to study, then I will feel bad for not spending time with them. Some time ago I decided I want to be a better christian but I am obsessing over if every thing I do is a sin or not and it is really unhealthy for me. Whenever I talk to any of my problems about this they are always nice and reassuring but they never give me advice I am actually satisfied with.
Anonymous 74135
>>74034I don't and I never will, sorry, not sorry
Anonymous 74139
>>74132There is probably a list of biblical sins somewhere.
Better than that though, do things bad on your own values rather than that old boogeyman.
Anonymous 74144
>>74084how can i identify with this so much noona it hurts… im in grad school now and still haunted by my piece of shit habits from prior days… and today i barely studied at all, on a weekend no less. im in self hate mode
Anonymous 74145
I'm almost always agitated, and it's especially bad at night when I'm lying in bed. My thoughts always go back to particular people in my life who've hurt me. Often, a montage of all these unpleasant memories/physical sensations play over and over in my head, and I can't stop it. I don't want to be angry all the time. I'm so tired of these thoughts and my anger plaguing my brain and keeping me awake at night. I don't know what to do to stop them.
Anonymous 74146
>>74145I have this sometimes too anon. I find it helps to write them down. It also helps to listen to music or books on tape when falling asleep or make up a detailed story in your head.
Anonymous 74160
I used to know a guy who grew up in a European country but was actually Russian. Bit of a jerk and thought P*tin was amazing, which was bad even then. For some reason he moved to Ukraine a few years ago.
Now it seems he is hiding abroad, pretending not to be Russian, and sharing info from others offering help to Ukrainians. Nothing exactly wrong with this but it feels very performative for social media. He's not actually helping them much and is being deceptive to save his own skin and seem like a nice guy.
I just hate the performative aspect of social media so much.
Anonymous 74162
After being 7 years in relationship I finally noticed he was basically abusing me, at least mentally/emotionally. He would make me feel guilty for seeing my friends, not including him in my outings, not inviting him to my parents more often, even if when I did he would basically shut down and rudelly answer any question. He constantly brought up old stuff that happened to justify, or make up for his abuse when pointed out.
Latest example; he promised he would keep me up to date with a sensitive matter, he didn't I found out about it somehow else, when I asked him about it, he didn't came upfront with it until I told him I knew, then he was claiming it's no big deal, then that it was my fault because I said something hurtful(I just repeated something he said, and even apologized for it), and finally started crying and victimizing themselves.
He would always ask for gifts, make promises, big and small he wouldn't keep, would never put much effort in stuff we did together, be it sex, common projects, or introducing me to his circle, started and dropped a bunch of careers, and always disregards my advise just to come bitching later.
It's surreal realizing this, it's not like the person I loved is gone, it like he was never real and has been manipulating me since the first day. First few months he was kind, attentive, would listen to my advise, and put effort into the relationship.
I haven't broken up with him, but I'm seeing a therapist, told my parents and friends everything and they are fully supportive of me taking my time with coming to terms with it, and finding the best time for me to do it.
Anonymous 74163
>>74162sorry to hear that anon but it's good that you have a good support system
when you break up with him, do it by text and don't wait for a reply. just block him everywhere and put all your accounts on private. don't accept any new friend requests and ask your friends not to share content about you
you don't owe him anything
Anonymous 74164
>>74163Thanks, he's been a point of friction with my family for a long time, but last time around I really tried to make it work, but he just didn't want to talk with anyone on my birthday arty, not parents, not my friend, not my cousins. He only talked a bit with my uncle and that's it. In his birthday, which should be a national holiday, he got like 4 cakes, as well as appetizers and a whole bunch of thematic decorations, and she spent a lot of time with friends, as I had to awkwardly introduce myself and get to know these people.
Family has been great when I told what I suspect was happening and encouraged me to get help with a therapist, even though the think for the most part they are hacks.
Thanks a lot for the support too.
Anonymous 74170
e81c0d1bf315e766b6…
I am addicted to receiving attention online i have this sixth sense (doesn't even work)that compels me to check my socials on instinct to see notifs (or lack thereof) i miss having a self harm twitter where people would interact with my messed up self and fetishize me maybe, i didn't know about the latter aspect though i was like 14-17 years old, but i wish i can go back there. I'm 19 now and by the time in 20 I'm gonna be old and too cringe to do this typa stuff, i have recovered from self harm though, and now im too fat and recovered from an Ed i can't even post my skinnie body Pictures anymore haha, what do now ;( i just want to be loved even by strangers online who would sooner see me deteriorate physically and mentally than offer genuine advice
Anonymous 74172
>>74162You have your parents, your friends- so you will be single, but certainly not alone. And you don't have this draining relationship anymore! This is a new chapter of your life! I'm proud of you for letting him go and excited for you because I know you're going to blossom without him weighing you down.
Anonymous 74178
The fact that my best friend who i haven’t spoken to in years probably has a new best friend depresses me.
Anonymous 74179
>>74178Lol she knows not being in contact with you has left a gap in her life that she tries to fill. But no one can replace you anon.
Anonymous 74182
>>74170Maybe try for an online persona like streaming, but hide your face and body. Or, better…
If you're really worried about being fat, diet properly, and don't let it consume your thoughts over more important things like education. You're 19, have dreams in life above pandering to a faceless and fetishistic crowd. As for attention seeking,a great way to stop caring is to isolate yourself and spend time you would have wasted on socializing to pursue your interests.
Anonymous 74184
1643685439217.jpg
god. I realized I'm ok with looking mediocre. what I'm not ok with is looking disgusting and also not feeling ok in my own skin. I have over 30 painful cysts in my face right now with very rough and scar-ridden texture and no amount of dermatologists in the past years has fixed the issue–it hurts so much to just talk and move my face. It makes me feel like a complete fuck-up that I can't even fix as simple as a problem as having acne. each time someone talks to me I instantly seek to get out of the conversation because I immediately want to get away from them being able to see me. I am so used to people voicing how fucked up I look that I assume the same out of everyone even though it's shallow of me.
I haven't even been vaccinated yet love the mask mandates because now I wear a mask 15 hours every day, it is the only thing that has improved my feelings in the past years.
it feels like I'm trapped somehow–I've ceased being able to think holistically without being terrified of how people see me. I constantly wish to go back to when I was 13. Back then I was 80 pounds heavier, but…I at least didn't care that much about the way I looked and it was long before I heard so many people talking about how fucked up I looked. Life was so much more fun back then, more exciting, freer.
Anonymous 74186
>>74184I also have severe cystic acne that won’t go away no matter what I do. Tried accutane 2x. I will literally never have clear skin in my life. I feel you anon.
Anonymous 74204
>>74184People are pretty much never satisfied with anything though if it makes you happy. I had internet people ppl and real people doxxe me once. It doesn't matter what you do, even beautiful girls live like they're kept on leashes, lied to, manipulated, bullied by their moms or boyfriends, or friends into loathing themselves and have that insecurity taken advantage of by SOME guy who just wants to get off. Though yeah I guess having actual physical scarring /pimples on your face must be way worse than being doxxed, but women everywhere are mostly treated exactly the same. There are crabs that are always trying to crawl over you or each other or pull you down somewhere. So you should develop a no bullshit approach to all people and just laugh at them. You should stop giving a fuck what society wants from you and just do whatever the hell you want op. Men are always going to do whatever the f they want no matter what they look like so what's your excuse?
Anonymous 74231
>>74186Have you tried changing your diet or keeping a food diary? I get cysts if I eat soya. I know dermatologists say this can't happen but it happens literally minutes after I eat it and never happens at all if I avoid it.
You might also find switching to something from this list useful:
https://simpleskincarescience.com/fungal-acne-products-malassezia-pityrosporum-folliculitis/ Anonymous 74257
>>72144I can't get anything done and I am totally empty I just have no motivation to do anything yet I have SO MUCH to do.
Also I have no idea what will happen with this guy like realistically its the best person I've ever tried to be with but what if the rug just gets swept out from under my feet again and I feel even more dysfunctional. I really couldn't handle that.
If I actually had friends to chat with and be around to take my mind off of it it'd be different but I don't and even my e-friends avoid me or are never around.
I think I just need to get outside be around others and listen to a few you tube podcasts and lecture series I think that would really benefit me.
Anonymous 74262
>>74204This feels like another one of those comments for a girl that thinks herself conventionally attractive that is bugged by hearing about a less attractive girl ever experiencing anything bad from it. I might be wrong, but "what's your excuse" feels weird.
Anonymous 74295
ALO-036848.jpg
>>72144Nonas, I need some serious help, I can't deal with it anymore. Sooo, I think I'm only attracted to older men and can't even imagine dating someone my age, what to do? Older men who date twenty-somethings obviously disgust me but I just keep fantasizing about dating some gentleman in his forties idk ;-;
Anonymous 74296
>>74295Date internationally and lie about your age? Then you'll be with the kind of guy who'll date within his age group.
Anonymous 74297
1639739145468.png
Same here, i have learned to surrender to this though.the only bad part about it is that i wouldn't mind dating someone who's even two or three decades older than me, but that's in theory. I have only ever dated guys who are older than me, one by 2 years the other by 5
The idea of dating someone my age or younger than me (even by a year or so) makes me icky
Anonymous 74298
>>74296I thought about it but I'd feel bad lying and also I'd like someone I can meet
>>74297I was very close to dating this one guy who was 9 years older than me but that wasn't enough in my mind, so yeah, I also can't imagine being with someone my age, younger would be a tragedy
Anonymous 74335
>>74172I haven't broken up with him yet, I decided to postpone it until after a big event in a couple of weeks. I don't want to deal with stress of him going crazy and trying to contact me or my family until then, I know he'll try. Since our relationship turn long distance due to my efforts paying off maintaining little contact until then isn't hard.
Anonymous 74337
finally leaving for college in a few minutes girlies!!
Anonymous 74361
my mom tells me not to bottle things up. my guilt over feeling like i'm ruining my family's lives and being a burden on them causes me to be socially distant at times and highly stressed/constantly boiling under the skin; second-guessing and triple-guessing everything i do. i'm an angry person. no doubt about that. to help with the anger my mom sent me to anger management as a kid (didn't stick) and nowadays she always tells me that i can't keep secrets about my needs – i need to tell her what i need. so, i started telling her…
it used to be that when we sat down to talk and i expressed some guilt to her my mom would give me advice. after a point i told her that hearing advice wasn't what i needed, because i had not only thought of everything she was saying 100 times over in furious insomniac thought-spirals and /knew/ it all to be true but we are also very similar people and we have similar methods for dealing with problems. all of the advice she gave me would come true eventually – she didn't need to tell me to drink some water and sleep on it uwu. what i said was that sometimes i just want to hear the same things i say to my mom – "it's okay" or "you didn't do anything wrong" even just a "that sounds rough" – things my mom has never said to me before in my life. i just wanted to be heard. acknowledged. simple, treacly, concise statements. nothing more, nothing less. this was years ago.
flash forward: today i share some financial guilt with her (i'm scared of spending money due to abusive behaviors from my father regarding money when i was younger) and she responds with silence. we haven't spoken about anything other than our shared hobbies in over a year so i know this caught her off guard. i've been giving the impression of being very happy and carefree lately. finally i ask her: "what do you think?" – i had already expressed that i knew my financial worries were baseless and paranoid, hoping to cut off her urge to give advice. she says she doesn't know what to say because i always cut her off when she tries to give me advice. so, i remind her that sometimes i just want to hear that everything's going to be okay. to which she kind of mumbling and mockingly says "everything's going to be okay" while rolling her eyes and throwing her hands up. i laughed and said it doesn't feel good when it's fake – implying that this time was a flub, but she can try again next time. she said there's no reason for her to say it in the future because i'll criticize her for it. obviously… isn't going to work and i'll just stop sharing my dilemmas with her. i expressed as much. that's where we left off.
i know that i can be exhausting and she isn't my therapist. nobody's the winner here. but i literally only come to her with this once or twice a year. i hate that now i have literally nobody to talk to about these things and i feel like honest to god this is the least fucking thing she can do for me. i take care of my mom. i learned new skills and changed how i behave, talk, dress, eat, all of it to appease to my mom (especially so she stops asking me questions about why i'm doing x or y and interrogating my decisions). now i'm remembering the time i came crying to her and crawled onto her lap asking to hold her hand and she pushed me off so she could finish watching her show… ugh.
Anonymous 74364
20-Extremely-Weird…
Help me I just got out of school because I threw up even before the first class started aaaaaaaa. I felt unwell yesterday but I still went to school because I didn't want to miss out my classes but now I regret doing it aaaa. I forgot my key and now I can't open the door, and I must wait 4 hours for my brother to finish school and Come open aaaaaaaa.
I puked at the streets so much but I could not stop, I'm worried they thought I was a drug addict or a drunk aaaaaa.
I'm so cold it's freezing aaaaa…
On top of that when I was throwing up I didn't notice I closed the door of the toilet right, even if I was fully dressed the girl looked at me as if I was a freak aaa…
Anonymous 74365
>>74364LoL, you have Internet connection so waste the time on YouTube or something until the 4 hours are you or call your bro to come home and open the door for you
Anonymous 74366
>>74365Yes but it's cold. I have to keep my hands in my pockets to keep them warm. I was thinking of going to a store to warm up there, buy something to eat and kill some time, but my stomach hurts way too much to do that. (There aren't really any near stores.)
Anonymous 74367
Sometimes i wish i could be an actress (never happening i know) but then i remember that i have acne all over my face and im chubby so i would never get any roles. I also was super weird and mean as a child so my old schoolmates would probably gossip about me and ruin my career.
Anonymous 74372
>>74366He should have gotten home by now are you okay?
Anonymous 74375
>>74372Yes I am, thank you for asking. I also went to the near by hospital to get help with the puking. Thank you for asking.
Anonymous 74378
DEC40A4E-D4C0-4A70…
i tried to go for a walk with my bonnet on since i hadn’t brushed my hair, but my dad forced me to remove it because he said that wearing a bonnet outside makes me look ghetto
Anonymous 74379
>>74378He's wrong bonnets are classy. Also i thought only us Frenchies called them bonnets i thought the English word was it was beanie, and when i was a kid i thought it was spelled "bon nez" :)
Anonymous 74441
>>74295just think about how any man in their 40s willing to date you wishes you were actually younger than you are
Anonymous 74459
religious gals, Ibhave scrupulosity because of vows I made and have a hard time keeping I know the forum is not for religion but does someone has resources for scrupulosity peer support or consulting, thanks
Anonymous 74467
202005221555306218…
>>74379I was wondering what anon meant by bonnet, I could only think of shower caps or lolita/victorian bonnets. Imagine being called ghetto with picrel on your head. A beanie makes much more sense in this context lol
Anonymous 74469
I screwed things up again. I don’t want to do this anymore. I’m done.
Anonymous 74470
IMG_7167.jpg
>>74467i think she meant one of those silk bonnets that are used to protect your hair. i wear them when i sleep if i don't have my silk pillowcases
Anonymous 74481
dunno where else to talk about this but just need to get it out somewhere
had a weird Thing going on with a guy I was talking to on Snapchat. we would have voice chats somewhat often, would send each other stuff often, and exchange some nudes/sexts. I think he was just getting some fun out of it, I broke up with my ex and I think I was using the attention as a bandaid. We ended up getting into a weird fight and he stopped talking to me. I say weird because I can’t tell if he just found a reason to jump on to break things off or if he was actually upset or what, but he has not opened the last snap I sent him. Whatever, it is what it is, I’m moving on from it and I think it’s mostly the attention I miss rather than him in particular since we didn’t have something serious going on. Haven’t heard from him in weeks though he had never blocked me, just ignored me. I prob should just block/delete him but I think there’s a small part of me hoping some day we’ll talk again even though I think I also know I shouldn’t and I’d only continue to be latching on to something unhealthy (ladies, don’t rely on scrotes for attention please, I only feel lame as hell and stupid).
Anyways, last night I got a Snapchat notification from him typing in the chat though he never sent anything to me. I’m trying not to think about it too much because it’s pretty insignificant, but I guess I just wonder what he was trying to do. Dunno if he was trying to get my attention, or was just trying to open up the chat to look at our saved exchanges from our sexting to jack off. Knowing men it’s probably the latter, which is another good reason I should prob just block and delete.
Anonymous 74485
>>74481A lot of guys get a kick out of ghosting girls. Sounds like you got e-pump and dumped by a player, I'm sorry. Just be thankful you never slept with him irl I guess, or you'd feel way worse.
Anonymous 74510
9BDDD272-55AB-4443…
does anyone else feel like they’re just messed up for no reason? on the surface my childhood was pretty normal and i grew up middle class. my parents never hit me and i don’t have any major traumas, but my mom and i have a rocky relationship at times. even still, since i was a kid i could never talk to people and was lonely, now i just hate myself, can barely leave the house and am paranoid about everything and everyone and it’s inhibiting my life. i’ve always been behind socially, it’s just gotten worse since middle school and remembering all of times i humiliated myself and got rejected makes me want to curl up and die. it feels like everyone else just knows the secret to living “normally” and i missed out. i’m horribly ugly too
i just don’t know what’s wrong with me or why i turned out to be such a failure when i should’ve just turned out normal, i don’t even have an excuse for it. kill me now
Anonymous 74521
I want to just blow my head all over the wall. I think about it constantly and I have for years. I'm fully grown now and I can't stand the way I make life harder for everyone around me. I think I want to cause one last fuckup for everyone and let it end there. I'm not retarded enough to pretend like people wouldn't be sad but I think one suicide in the family is a fair exchange for avoiding years of financial and emotional burden.
Anonymous 74535
I used to be underweight and everyone used to tell me how tiny i was. Now I’m slightly overweight and i want to fucking die. My dad even pointed it out to me.
Anonymous 74541
I made the mistake of telling 2 older people I'm taking a class just for fun, they were both immediately like OMG MAYBE YOULL MEET SOMEONE (romantically) and were so insistent on the idea that the class is actually depressing now because I didn't meet anyone. I'm trying my best to have fun but I'm mentally suffering already so my mind kept going back to it.
Anonymous 74546
>>74541if they mention it, just say you took the class out of interest, not to meet someone and weren't trying
Anonymous 74554
small potatoes vent time but why the fuck are matinees 23 fucking dollars here reeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee
Anonymous 74561
>>74513it seems like everyone thinks that but i’m not sure. i never had meltdowns as a kid or anything like that. it’s more like don’t know how to make myself normal and feel like everyone hates me
>>74527 i just don’t know why i turned out this way
Anonymous 74562
>>74561sometimes you can have internal meltdowns or autism can present differently in girls or if you also have adhd or something else
if a few people have said it, it might be worth getting a test
Anonymous 74563
c39.png
this is really dumb but holy shit I can't wrap my head around ridiculous my mom is being about something really petty and random
>want a wardrobe to hang clothes in; I have a 10$ cloth one that's literally collapsing and doing some Leaning Tower of Pisa shit
>go on a search for a cheap, light, small used wood one and my mom keeps on pointing out other shitty open-air cloth ones that are literally more expensive than the used ones I'm looking at
>each time - once every few weeks - I bring up one that's fantastic and around 50$ while being excited and she immediately says something contrarian and not once has just said "ok!" or really anything that isn't argumentative
>says stuff like how I should use the towel cabinet
>3 feet tall, has no hanging bar, is broken, is being used for towels and blankets, musty
>has suggested we get a hanging rack (the metal open-air thing) and "build" a closet around it??
>doesn't take "no thank you, I don't want that" for an answer
>outright said, "it's like you want to argue about this" dead to her face and she just stared at me for 1 minute then just continued going on about the towel cabinet
>actually have serious $$$ from my own business and just want to be frugal
>literally have offered her money to drive me to pick it up. even something that is 10 minutes away she complains "puts wear and tear on the car"
>puts probably 2-3 hours of needless driving on the car for recreational purposes a week
what the fuck
oh and if it's not obvious I forget she's like this repeatedly bc it's so silly to even imagine someone acting like this. like holy shit I don't wanna get mad at my mom over something so silly.
I think I might end up just ordering something to be shipped to me even though it'll cost so much more.
Anonymous 74570
IMG_2339.jpg
i am convinced that nobody likes me and that i’m not actually good at the things i thought i could do well. i’ve been told i’m a great writer and singer, funny, pretty, etc. multiple times. but i constantly compare myself to others to the point where i don’t even bother trying to succeed in anything because i feel like i will never be good enough and that i’ll just be laughed at.
i entered some poetry recitation contest in high school and made it to the state finals, they sent me a tee shirt but i still wasn’t sure that they chose me over hundreds of other contestants. then i didn’t even get out of bed to participate in the contest. i could have won a scholarship that would have saved me thousands in student loans. i was one of the winners for an essay contest that same year but i didn’t even submit it to the judges to make it to finals. i would love to work in the tv industry. i went to a filmmaking class one time but i felt like everyone there was better than me so i didn’t return for the second class.
i have no friends because i’m afraid to reach out, i’ve seemingly lost all of my social skills recently, and i can’t maintain any kind of relationship. it took me a long time to accept it but i hate myself. i used to have friends. i used to succeed when i actually tried. now i’m miserable and a failure. i’m young but i’m worried it’s never going to get better. i’m so lonely and my depression continues to get worse. lately i’ve been afraid that i might be on the brink of a psychotic break.
can’t drop out of college because i’d have to go home. can’t go home for many reasons. can’t kill myself because my sister is also suicidal and we don’t have any parents. i just want the motivation to live a happy life like i did when i was younger.
Anonymous 74577
When I see a stupid opinion online, I can’t stop myself from responding. I made a twitter account just to respond to one tweet because it pissed me off so much. I wish I could stop.
Anonymous 74581
>>74570No offence anon but you need to get over yourself or stop entering into these things. How many people were denied finalist places because you can’t be bothered to show up? Why enter in the first place?
Anonymous 74582
>>74577I find it helpful to draft a reply in Word and save it and then forget about it. Or just to avoid places where I am likely to get sucked into an argument. You also have to accept that 90% of people of stupid and you can’t change that.
Anonymous 74627
I'm still really torn up and angry over a moid i was with for less than 6 months, and i feel pathetic.
I don't care about him anymore, i never really loved him. But my god, he hurt me.
He would guilt trip me and go off at me if i hung out with any of my male friends he didn't like, dumped all of his emotional baggage on me, would be passive aggressive constantly, if i was too busy to talk to him, he'd get really pissy with me. I have a house to take care of during the day, and a life to live. I have responsibilities and chores.
But no, he didn't care, it was always about him, i had to be there or else he'd have a fucking meltdown.
He would mock me, make fun of the habits and interests i have due to being neurodivergent, and it'd ALWAYS be all about him, god forbid i talk about my problems, i got the most stock standard, useless responses.
But if i didn't give him exceptional responses back? he'd get so fucking angry.
He was pathetic, he lied about getting with another girl after the breakup, i asked her and she said she "tried really hard to friendzone him, we aren't friends anymore."
I'm still torn up, it's all just childish and dumb to me, but god does it hurt.
He told me a few weeks ago he was ""suicidal"" and i was one of the reasons, and he flipped out at me when i asked him to not tell me these things because a) it's manipulative and wrong, and b) i can't do anything to help him if I'm the problem. He went gorilla ape mode about it.
He used to have a habit of drinking a lot after i broke up with him and would use the "I'm drunk" excuse to shoehorn in that he loved me still, and of course, was a cunt when i continually rebuffed or rejected him.
When i started dating my new boyfriend, he'd just do anything in his power to deny that he even existed. I think he still loves me, and that makes me even more angrier. I wish he didn't.
I think I'm doing a good job of getting him out of my life, i need to do it carefully so i don't tear my friend group apart. I'm so glad we're on entirely different continents, but also I'm getting to the point where the sancity of my friend group doesn't matter to me. I need to move on, and I'm trying, but it's hard.
I hate moids, fuck them. And fuck me for thinking that i should've had any faith in them.
Anonymous 74634
>>74627Block and delete on all platforms, put all profiles on private. Don’t have any communication with him again, he’s an emotional abuser.
Anonymous 74686
guy who groomed me, emotionally abused me, spread my (underage) nudes to god knows how many people constantly finds new ways to stalk me online and act as if he was the victim and i'm some evil cunt. all i wanted was for him to leave me alone, i tried my best to distance myself from him in a calm manner but he was just went apeshit as me. it feels like he is purposefully stopping me from just living normally, like he wants me to be as depressed and pathetic as i was when i first met him
Anonymous 74699
I should really learn how to manage my pettiness.
Anonymous 74700
>>74686I think you need to contact police.
Anonymous 74702
my dad is such a creep who tries to enforce his fetishes* on the whole family and i feel so gross and uncomfortable having to live with him.
*i'm not using fetishes the way some people do; e.g. anything sexual. i literally mean fetishes.
