/nsfw/ - female sex and guilt

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female sex and guilt Anonymous 02/17/21 (Wed) 08:42:22 PM3882

I've been feeling incredibly guilty over my sexuality - having a lot of rather extreme fantasies and a far higher sex drive than most men I've dated.

It makes me feel bad on so many levels - for example the fact that none of my boyfriends have ever pursued sex as much as I have. I get that "men always want sex durr" is a retarded idea society fed me but the one connection between all these men and their low sex drive seems to be me. All my boyfriends say my kinks are ok and they're fine with roleplaying but I can't help but feel it's just them trying to please and not lose me.

Another side is just how entrenched so much of female sexuality is in misogynistic submission. I've noticed that a lot recently as I've been reading more erotic literature to pacify my fetishes and 90% of them are written by men. Even when they try to write it in a females perspective it's always the same old "innocent girl struggles until she finally gives in and lets the big strong man take care of her and she now likes it so it definitely wasn't rape and was super ok all along". That not only gets tedious when it's aaall you ever get to read but as a submissive woman you have to wonder how often you play into these power fantasies in real life. I am fearful that if I do find a partner I click with sexually he won't respect me as a human because of my kinks.

I know what I like, what makes me feel good, and that should be sexually liberating but I didn't grow up in a cultural vacuume so how much of my sexuality was molded to please men?

I wish I could have a less personal, less rambling, more academic starting off point about how "ah yes female pleasure culturally only seems to matter so far as it serves patriarchy". It's pretty late and I've had a drink and just wanted to feel less crazy/alone.

I'm sure a lot of this has been discussed to death and if there's already a thread for something similar I'm sorry. But maybe somebody can relate with parts of this and tell me their stories.

>tl;dr - post nut clarity

Anonymous 02/17/21 (Wed) 09:36:11 PM3885

>>3882
It might be your age. How old are you atm?

Anonymous 02/17/21 (Wed) 10:22:21 PM3887

image0-1.jpg

>>3885
21. I will admit I am not very experienced, haven't had a lot of physical partners.
Do you think my fantasies/expectations will normalize or will I become more accepting of them?

Anonymous 02/17/21 (Wed) 10:43:08 PM3888

>>3887
You have a more manageable sex drive as you get older. It's ok to be kinky maybe you do need a partner you can femdom, it's really lame to not have partners who are into it.

Anonymous 02/18/21 (Thu) 05:38:48 AM3890

>>3888
>You have a more manageable sex drive as you get older.
That's a relief and also a little sad. I'll miss getting horny multiple times a day.

Man, I wish I was into femdom (more than submission).

Anonymous 02/18/21 (Thu) 05:45:57 AM3891

d64lpyn-1dbb7b2a-3…

>>3882
I don't quite understand. You say you feel guilty over your sexuality and then describe a high sex drive combined with submissive fantasies, but what do you feel you have done wrong in feeling the way you do and having the needs you do?

>as a submissive woman you have to wonder how often you play into these power fantasies in real life
Only as much as anyone is driven by their psychosexuality in real life, which is to say all the time to one degree or another. Riding that particular tiger is something everyone has to do, man or woman, submissive or dominant.

>I wish I could have a less personal, less rambling, more academic starting off point about how "ah yes female pleasure culturally only seems to matter so far as it serves patriarchy".
Why would you want to open like that? Your matter is personal, and reaching for the dehumanising, obfusticating language of academia would only serve to distance you from it. Is that the point?

Anonymous 02/18/21 (Thu) 11:39:53 AM3893

52ecc8ef20bd26160a…

>>3891
>what do you feel you have done wrong in feeling the way you do and having the needs you do?
A lot of different factors. For one having pretty extreme fantasies (rape, incest). I both have internal guilt over liking these things in the first place AND when I express them to partners even if they never react outright negatively it feels like I am grossing them out. That added to the fact that I keep dating guys who don't pursue sex (or even reject it) for weeks at a time. It makes me feel that if I had a more normal sexuality they and I would be happier. If I just leaned back and wiggled my hips a bit until they came they would be intimate more often.

>Riding that particular tiger is something everyone has to do
I guess you're right about that. I suppose that's something you learn with experience and maybe I'm panicking over ridiculous what-ifs. I've just seen so many men use the kink community specifically to go after vulnerable girls and it makes me iffy to try and find someone in it.

>Why would you want to open like that?
I just feel a bit bad making a thread with personal ramblings instead of something that invites more people in for casual discussion.

Anonymous 02/18/21 (Thu) 12:43:44 PM3895

>>3888
Is it true that when you get older you tend to open up and want to experience more stuff?